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Walking into the office still took me aback sometimes. The s.p.a.ce looked great with the subtle lighting and sleek workstations. Sid sat next to two of the newest team members. I leaned on the desk they huddled around. They paused and looked up.
"What's new, guys?"
Chris was about a decade older than we were. This wasn't his first job at a start-up, so he brought some experience that most of us lacked. A heavyset guy, he had bright red hair that was overgrown and curled up at his shoulders. Based on the past week's attire, he seemed to have an affinity for Hawaiian shirts.
On the other end of the spectrum, we had hired James as our dedicated designer and front-end developer. He was a different brand. With a mop of nearly black wavy hair, tanned skin, and bright blue eyes, he was by far the most naturally outgoing of the entire crew. Well-built with a touch of bad boy about him thanks to some ink that peeked out from his b.u.t.ton-downs, he wasn't hard to look at either.
"Morning, Erica." He flashed a smile that caught me off guard.
I smiled back, surprised at being greeted with such enthusiasm so early in the morning. Good hire, I thought.
Sid blew out a breath, apparently not sharing James's mid-morning peppiness. "We're trying to figure out a plan for rolling out the upgrades we talked about, but it's a little hard with this band of misfits trying to take us down twenty-four hours a day."
"Uh-oh." I cringed a little, having no idea how to go about technically fixing this problem beyond harping on Blake to work his magic. He'd been frustratingly vague about his a.s.sociation with M89, but clearly, due to whatever he'd done to p.i.s.s them off so royally, the hackers were not going to give up easily.
"Anyway, we're figuring it out. Don't worry about it." He scowled and focused on the monitor, stopping periodically to jot down some notes.
"Can I help?"
"Nope."
His answer was predictably curt. For the Sid I'd come to know, who was regularly grumpy due to his erratic sleep schedule, being met with challenges at ten in the morning was unacceptable. I rolled my eyes and caught James smirking.
"Keep me posted." I pushed off the desk and disappeared behind the Chinese curtain part.i.tioning my office from the rest of the s.p.a.ce. Due to the size of the room and the budget, I'd decided to forgo the privacy that a build out would afford, and in the end, I was grateful Blake had honored that wish with his secret remodel. I felt secluded enough to do my work in peace but still connected enough to tap into whatever Sid and his crew were up to. Plus, Risa would be joining us soon, and we'd likely have a lot more regular communicating to do. At least we spoke the same language.
When their informal meeting ended, I Skyped Sid to come talk to me. He came in, his tall frame towering over me at my desk. He settled into a chair across from me.
"What's with the att.i.tude, Sid? We're on the same team here."
"I realize that, but I'm getting really sick of patching holes in a sinking boat."
"We're sinking?"
He sighed. "No. But constantly patching vulnerabilities and fixing s.h.i.t they're breaking while trying to roll out new development is becoming pretty f.u.c.king tedious, Erica."
I sat back, stunned. Sid rarely swore, so his nerves were frayed. When my nerves were frayed, I cried in the privacy of my room or channeled my anger into being obsessively productive. When Sid's nerves were frayed, everyone suffered.
"What do we do? I want to help. I just have no idea how, Sid."
"Talk to your boyfriend. Doesn't he have all the answers?"
"Most of the time he does, yeah. But he doesn't have a magic pill for this. I'm at a loss."
Blake's strategy thus far had been to simply make the site completely impenetrable. Because I'd refused to let his team of programmers take over the site, the responsibility fell squarely on Sid. Now Chris and James shared the burden.
"On the ground-level, there are improvements I can make to the site. At some point, we'll need to redevelop it anyway to accommodate large-scale growth. The only thing I can think of is to work on that instead of doing these upgrades. Then at least we're working with a more solid foundation, since clearly we're going to be under attack for the foreseeable future."
"Sid, you're scaring me. Rebuild the site from the ground up? There has got to be another way. We're coming up on a critical marketing push."
"I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear. I suggest you talk to Blake. Whatever he did to bring this on, he should know how to fix it because this isn't what I signed on for."
Sid's response punched me in the gut.
"Okay, how about you get the guys squared away with their work for the day and you can take the day off. Come back refreshed, and hopefully I'll have some answers tomorrow."
I tried to keep my voice steady even though I wanted to tell him to grow the f.u.c.k up. Work was full of challenges. I had taken on the brunt of the ownership responsibilities, leaving him with the task of focusing on only what interested him-the development. Yet he marched around like the entire world was plotting against him. True, a small faction was in fact plotting against us, but he was being a little dramatic.
He huffed and left my pseudo-office. He mumbled some things to the guys and slumped back into his chair.
I smiled. Deep down, Sid was just as obstinate about giving up as I was. We had that in common.
CHAPTER THREE.
Alli brushed on some bronzer while we got ready in my bathroom. She let me borrow a tight leopard-print skirt that fit like a glove. She took the liberty of pairing it with a black off-the-shoulder top. I had a feeling Blake might be stripping this outfit off me with his teeth in a few hours. G.o.d, I wanted him to.
After two days of dedicated girl time, Alli was venturing out to get dinner and drinks with some friends so Blake and I could catch up. My skin was crawling from missing him so much.
We'd survived brief periods of separation before, but usually those were colored by me being totally p.i.s.sed at him, which helped stave off the unbearable attraction I had toward him. All I felt toward Blake right now was epic longing, especially after the mind-bending s.e.x we'd had in the office a few days ago.
I loved spending time with Alli, and I was glad for the time away from our respective boys if it meant reviving the friendship that we'd spent the past three years building. Between the Landon brothers, we had plenty to work through. I'd brought her up to speed with everything that had happened, from Blake blowing up my business deal with Max, to the total mindf.u.c.k of having Mark show up out of nowhere.
Heath came up in our conversations with a frequency that made me question how much she was really appreciating their time apart. Tonight she'd been quiet, though.
"Everything okay?"
She smiled too quickly. "Yeah, definitely."
I finished sprucing up, and when I walked out, Blake was lounging on the new living room set I'd purchased for the apartment. In a white collared shirt rolled up at the sleeves and dark blue jeans, he looked so f.u.c.king delectable that I thought seriously about straddling him right then and there.
When our gazes locked, his jaw dropped a fraction. The feeling was mutual.
"You ready?"
I smiled. Alli joined us and interrupted my laser focus on Blake's amazing body. He rose to greet her and brushed a quick kiss on her cheek.
"You look great, Alli. It's good to see you."
"Likewise." Her smile was tight, seemingly strained by some emotion that was bubbling under the surface.
I tried to read her body language. Was she nervous or embarra.s.sed about seeing Blake after the Heath situation in New York?
"So I guess we're off," I said quietly, trying to break the awkwardness that hopefully only I was picking up on.
We said our goodbyes, and Blake ran his hand down my back and gave me a gentle push toward the door. The power and suggestion of his touch had my skin tingling, my nerves alert. I was suddenly cursing our dinner plans when I wanted nothing more than to drag him upstairs to his apartment and rock his world straight into the dawn.
We stepped out of the apartment and Blake led me upstairs, his fingers interlaced with mine.
"Did you forget something?"
Before he could answer, we walked through the doors of his apartment and the smells of a home-cooked meal filled the air. Blake had cooked without any help from me.
"Whoa." The kitchen was a mess, but by contrast the dining room table was neatly covered with several matching pottery serving dishes filled to the brim with pasta, salad, and bread. The room was dimly lit, the mood enhanced by flickering candles set throughout.
"I thought we could stay in," he murmured.
"But I got all dressed up." I leaned back into his embrace, letting his arms wrap around me.
"I'm glad you did. You look amazing. We'll be lucky to make it through dinner."
I bit my lip and my appet.i.te wavered. Blake was by far the most mouth-watering item on any menu, but I needed fuel if I was going to ravage him all night like I'd planned.
"Everything looks great. I can't believe you did all this by yourself."
"I hope you like it."
We settled down at the table, and he poured us two gla.s.ses of wine as I helped myself to a plate of Blake's soon-to-be-famous spaghetti Bolognese, so he a.s.sured me. I took a bite and was pleasantly surprised. Spaghetti was hard to screw up, but with as little cooking experience as he had, I was prepared for the worst. A comfortable silence settled between us as we ate, but I was still thinking about Alli.
"How are things going with Alli?" Blake asked, as if reading my thoughts.
I bit into my garlic bread before answering. Alli was in a tough place right now, both lovesick and heartbroken by her turbulent relationship with Heath. I wasn't sure how much I should say.
"I think she's just going through a lot right now. With Heath and the move."
"The move?"
"She moved out of the condo."
"I hope she didn't do that on my account." His gaze rose to meet mine.
I shook my head, remembering Blake's once fervent insistence that I maintain some distance with Alli while she was involved with Heath. I had swiftly refused and ignored his wish, and thankfully that had been the end of the discussion. With everything I'd been going through at the time, the last thing I needed was to isolate myself from the few people I could go to for support.
"No. I think she needs some s.p.a.ce to figure things out while Heath is gone. I don't think she's had a chance to be very independent since she moved to the city." I hesitated with the last thought. I wanted to tread lightly. Blake and Heath had their issues, but they were still brothers. I didn't want to cause problems between Heath and Alli if he didn't know about the move yet.
He nodded. "How's work?"
"Good and bad."
"Oh?"
I finished my last bite of the spaghetti before choosing my words.
"I hired a marketing director. She starts Monday and Alli is going to help me bring her up to speed with where she left off."
"And the bad?"
"I'm getting concerned with the security of the site. Sid is ready to pull his hair out. I don't know what to tell him." I risked a questioning look his way. I was approaching a subject he hated discussing.
He sat back and threw his napkin on the table. "You won't give me access to the code, Erica. What the h.e.l.l do you want me to do?"
"It's not out of distrust, Blake. We need to be in control of the code for the long-term and you know that. Yet we all remain in the dark as to why we've been inexplicably and relentlessly attacked by this group."
He stared past me, avoiding my eyes and the pleading in them. An uneasy knot formed in my stomach. I hated his secrets. They ate at me like my own once used to, before I poured my heart and soul out to Blake. Revealing my past to him had lessened the burden, but I didn't know how to make him trust me the same way.
"You want my trust, Blake. This is why I have a hard time giving it so freely. You keep things from me."
"If I'm not forthcoming with information, it's for your own good."
"Can't I decide what's for my own good? Jesus, I'm not a child."
He muttered a curse under his breath, moved to the living room, and sank into the couch.
I chose a seat on the other couch, unsure how the rest of this conversation would go. A safer, less s.e.xual distance might be better if we were going to accomplish anything constructive.
"You said you would fix this. You promised me. And if it's not that easy, fine, but I deserve to know what's really going on here. Maybe I can help."
He exhaled through his nose and let his head fall back on the couch. "You already know that I was a member of M89 when I was a teenager."
"Yes," I said quietly.
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, avoiding my eyes. "What you don't know is that I led the group with someone else."
"Who?" My voice was quiet and tentative. I didn't want to give him any reason not to tell me the things I so wanted-needed-to know.
"Cooper. His name was Brian Cooper."
I paused. "Was?"
His jaw ticked. He pushed back his dark brown hair that had grown longer since we'd met and fell unkempt across his forehead. I wanted to reach over and fix it but didn't want to interrupt the moment.
"He killed himself."
"Oh my G.o.d." I touched my hand to my mouth. No wonder he didn't want to talk about this. "When?"
"After the group was busted for hacking the bank accounts, they brought us all in. Except I'd been out of the operation for weeks. Cooper had been a friend, and when we came up with the original plan, I was on board for hacking the Wall Street guys, but then he'd wanted to start in on individual accounts. Regular people who invested their hopes of retirement with these jerks, but beyond that, had no connections to their Ponzi s.h.i.t. I couldn't get behind it so I left the group. Our friendship was over, and obviously there was bad blood between us. When the Feds started questioning me..."
A heavy silence fell and my heart twisted. Blake was inextricably tied to the circ.u.mstances that had led to his young friend's suicide.
"f.u.c.k, I don't know. I was young and p.i.s.sed off and everything happened so fast." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, as if trying to erase whatever visions had conjured there.