Hacker: Hardpressed Part 17

I tried not to think about the other side, the long fall from the earth-shattering bliss he gave me to the darkness of a life without Blake. I tried not to think about it, but the cold, hard reality of it crept in. Time ticked by, my body refusing the climb, evading its addictive pull. If only I could suspend this moment-our bodies impossibly close, slick with the heat of our pa.s.sion, a never-ending state of being. I could live with that, never reaching the top, if it meant we never had to come down.

I turned away, staring into the near blackness of the room, my thoughts too far from us. He turned my face back to him, his own expression strained, his skin tight and flushed.

"G.o.dd.a.m.nit, what's going on?"

I stumbled, trying to find the words. "I'm sorry. Don't stop, please."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. I don't want to think about anything but you."

He stilled. Then without warning, he pulled out of me and left the bed. He rustled through his travel bag by the door. How he could see anything in the darkness of the room, I wasn't sure.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting you in a better frame of mind."

The bed dipped under his weight again.

"I did some thinking while I was away, baby, and I think you need this as much as I do. We'll start slow though."

My breath caught as he stretched my arms above me, encasing my wrists with two soft leather cuffs, looping the connecting strap around a rail on the headboard.

"There. That's better. You okay?"

"What are you going to do?" It was a quiet plea. A part of me was afraid of what he might do, but I needed something and soon.

He grabbed my hips and tugged me lower until my arms were fully extended above me. My breath hitched, my muscles tensing with the position. He planted a wet kiss between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and I sighed. Moving to one and then the other, he teased the tips with warm strokes of his tongue. My nipples were hypersensitive, almost painfully hard, jutting out shamelessly for his slow torture. He bit down gently and my body jerked from the pleasure that shot through me.

He continued to roam with one hand while the other slipped between my thighs to the apex of my desire. He teased my c.l.i.t, tracing my opening, and then back again, my core quickening with the motion.

When I thought I couldn't take much more, he withdrew and flipped me to my belly, my arms tautly outstretched. The cord of the cuffs twisted around the rail, increasing their tension on my wrists.

He licked up my spine, causing me to quiver. His thighs straddled mine as his hands glided smoothly over my skin, down my back, squeezing my hips and the top of my a.s.s.

"Mmm, I missed this. Thought about making your a.s.s pink every night I was gone."

I bit my lip. I knew what was coming and went wet with antic.i.p.ation, the ache between my legs throbbing now.

"You weren't too well behaved while I was gone, were you?"

I shook my head as much as I could.

His palm made hard contact with my a.s.s. I jolted at the shock of pain. Then an unexpected wave of pleasure warmed me.

"Someone else had his hands on you. We're not going to let that happen again, are we?"

I winced at the memory of James.

"Erica, answer me." His voice was hard and clipped, his hand falling hard on the same spot.

"No, I promise," I moaned, acutely aware of the wetness pooling between my thighs.

He continued to punish the same spot until my head buzzed with a heady mix of adrenaline and inexplicable desire. These weren't gentle playful slaps. They were hard and loud, echoing through the room, each one landing with a sting that had me tensing anxiously in antic.i.p.ation of the next. They fell so solidly across my skin that I swore I was being punished.

I wanted to be, so I let myself believe it. I convinced myself that Blake was punishing me and I was letting him. For making him so jealous, for letting James get too close. And for what I was about to do to him, to us, I deserved it.

"I want to hear you." His hand made contact once more, smarting the skin that was nearly numb from the endorphins now. "I want to hear those helpless little moans you give me. To know what I'm doing to you is making you crazy inside that tight little body of yours."

I didn't make a sound, my cries burning in my throat.

"Erica," he snapped. The edge in his voice sobered me. "More," I cried. "I want more. Harder." Inexplicably, I did.

He exhaled harshly. "Are you sure?"

I lifted my hips into his grasp and gripped the rail tightly. "Blake, please," I moaned, overcome with a craving for the pain that I so deserved.

He left the bed, and I heard movement next to me before the sound of clothing dropping back down to the floor. He was over me again, straddling me.

The broad curve of a leather belt followed his touch, cool against my burning skin. My palms went damp with fear and l.u.s.t, slipping on the rail. A slow tremble worked its way through my body. My chest heaved, and I fought for breath as I waited.

"Tell me if it's too much," he murmured. "Use your-just tell me to stop, okay?"

I arched off the bed, my body asking for more before my mind could make sense of it. Whatever pain came at the other end of this I'd earned or was about to.

"Just do it."

I heard the sharp crack of the leather on my skin before the pain caught up to my mind. My jaw dropped in a breathless cry when the pain pulsed through me. f.u.c.king f.u.c.k, that hurts.

He paused, waiting for me to speak. When I didn't, he released another lash. I bit the pillow beneath me and suppressed a scream. Undeniably, it hurt. My entire body tensed against each blow. Why are you doing this? Tears stung my eyes, my throat thick with pent up emotion. You deserve it. You did this. Take it. Take it all.

"You okay, baby?"

"Do it, just f.u.c.king do it," I croaked, my voice jagged with the need to cry.

He hesitated a moment, then slapped the belt with measured precision. Again and again, he spread the sharp licks over my a.s.s and my thighs. Somehow, the pain cut right through the shadow of misery that had fallen over me. I sobbed into the pillow. The tears spilled over, saturating the fabric, cleansing me, breaking me down.

I relished the punishment, welcomed the physical manifestation of everything brewing inside me. Everything was releasing. My body went lax, even as he continued, as if I'd been broken down completely, stripped down to the most bare, raw state I could imagine. I couldn't possibly understand why, but something felt terribly right about all of it.

When my sobs slowed, he stopped and tossed the belt off the bed. He kissed my back gently, his fingers feather-light against my skin, soothing the pain. The warmth of his body covered the back of mine. His erection lay heavily on my bottom, the weight of it almost too much on the pained flesh there. The pleasure and the pain. He was a master at delivering so well on both. Now I needed pleasure. I was ready for it.

"You took that really well. I know it wasn't easy. I'm proud of you."

My heart ached at the comfort that washed over me at the sound of his voice. Soft with affection, his tone was a welcome shift from the commanding character who'd just thoroughly punished me. "I'm going to f.u.c.k you now, and you're going to come when I tell you. If you don't, I'm going to punish you again. Do you understand?"

I whimpered an affirmative. Though softly rendered, his threat was heard.

He kissed between my shoulder blades, his teeth grazing my skin. I shivered, my nipples tightening at the sensation. He turned me back over again and nudged my legs apart so he could nestle between them.

Lowering down over me, his hand went to my hip, the other brushing the tear-soaked hair from my eyes. He wiped away the tears, and the l.u.s.t that hooded his eyes changed. The corners of his eyes wrinkled with concern.

"I'm so sorry," I choked, so overwrought with emotion I thought my chest might burst from it all. He'd never know how sorry I was.

The tight lines around his eyes released and he caught my mouth in a slow, deep kiss. He pressed the flared crown of his erection into me, barely penetrating.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to be sorry, Erica. I can't tell you what it does to me to see you like this, giving yourself over to me."

"Please," I moaned, arching into the contact, desperate for him.

My breath caught as he rooted himself fully and abruptly. The sensation was searing and overpowering, a potent rush of pleasure over my pain.

"Oh, f.u.c.k," I cried.

"Erica," he murmured. "I need this. I need you."

Something snapped, between his words, the restraint, and his thick penetration. A consuming hunger overwhelmed me, and I clenched around him helplessly. He withdrew to the tip and shafted me fully again. I wrapped my fingers around the rail he'd tethered me to and a hoa.r.s.e cry escaped my lips.

"That's it, baby. Let it all go."

The low rasp of his voice coaxed me to the edge. Except the cliff had turned into an avalanche and I couldn't escape now. A few more thrusts and I was gone, helpless to fight the feeling. The o.r.g.a.s.m was coming for me, like it or not. I was lost in the world he'd created for me, as drunk on the pleasure as I was starving for more.

He buried himself deeper, his hips slamming into mine with forceful drives. He pumped into me, his c.o.c.k growing impossibly larger as he did. He nipped at my earlobe, sucking it, then grazing it again with this teeth.

"Mine. You're mine. Just like this. Your body, your heart. Every part of you." Whispering in my ear, he never let me forget it, not for a second.

"I'm yours." The tears came again as my body gave up the last of its resistance.

"Come now, baby. Give me everything."

The leather of the cuffs bit into the skin at my wrists as I struggled against them. Stretched tight and spread wide, I was completely at his mercy. Every muscle strained and I came apart. My thighs hugged his hips as my s.e.x spasmed in climax. I fell hard, shaking uncontrollably, tensing as the o.r.g.a.s.m ripped through me, his name on my lips. For a split second, a heaviness lifted and nothing else mattered.

"Erica," he groaned.

His body jerked against me. His hands gripped my hips fiercely as he found his own release.

He tensed, then sagged against me. His body was slick against mine as he exhaled roughly.

He untied my hands and ma.s.saged the reddened skin of my wrists. Then he captured my mouth in slow, breathless kisses, brushing away the last of my tears. We were both spent, stripped down by the experience. With my last shred of energy, I wrapped my arms around him, hooking my leg over his hip. I needed the rea.s.surance of our closeness. I couldn't let him go yet.

We lay that way, wordlessly, for a long time. The intensity of what we'd done settled over me, and my mind spun over what it all meant. In the face of what tomorrow would bring, maybe it didn't mean anything at all.

"I'm sorry," he whispered finally.

"I love you," I breathed, before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

CHAPTER ELEVEN.

Come up for breakfast when you wake up.

Love, Blake I dropped the note back onto the pillow and fell back on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling, wishing the answers were written there. I still had time.

I made my way to the bathroom and tried to tame my totally f.u.c.ked hair. Fingertip-sized bruises marked my hips. My a.s.s was covered with dozens of tiny little red dots, broken capillaries from the serious lashing Blake had dished out. A deep blush colored my cheeks.

Bound and at his mercy in the darkness of the night, I'd survived Blake's unexpected return, overcoming my panic and fears. More than that, somehow I'd needed it, to break through all the craziness in my mind. My fears had seemed so small and insignificant in the face of impending tragedy.

I showered and dressed. I glanced out the window. Blake's Tesla sat out front. A few cars down, a black Lincoln was parked on the street and I swore I caught a glimpse of red hair moving in the driver's seat. A clatter in the kitchen tore my attention away.

I stepped into the living room tentatively, my nerves on edge. Sid was making his breakfast at the toaster. I relaxed slightly, relieved that Blake hadn't come back. At least he hadn't been there this morning. I didn't have the energy last night to antic.i.p.ate how I'd deal with waking up to him. I hadn't planned for any of that. None of it.

"You're up early," I said.

"Yeah, trying to get on a better schedule. Our hacker friends must be on vacation so I haven't had to pull any all-nighters, which helps."

"Really? They just stopped?"

"Seems that way."

"Wow." I thought back to the meeting with Trevor. He didn't seem to have an ounce of forgiveness in his heart, and our conversation had hardly convinced him to stop the attacks. Maybe tracking him down at his house had shaken him enough to make him stop. I wondered if he'd done the same for Blake's other ventures or if he'd just decided to spare me.

"Hopefully they stay away so we can finally get back to work."

"Do you think they will?"

"I have no idea. The code is so solid now I have a hard time imagining how they could breach us again, but we can't defend what we can't see. I guess we have to wait and see if they resurface."

"Right," I agreed. "Listen, Sid. I'm sure it won't make much difference to you, but I'm going to be staying with a friend for a little while, so if you don't see me around here much, that's why."

"You still coming to the office?"

"Of course."

His face was pa.s.sive as he sat behind the counter. He broke up his Pop-Tart, but I caught a flash of concern in his eyes when he looked up at me.

"Is everything all right?"

Unaffected as he tried to be, knowing that he cared meant a lot to me. We had a strange friendship that had deepened in its own way over time. I didn't quite know how to answer him.

"I think it will be. Time will tell."

Sid simply nodded, even though I was being cryptic and only half believed it myself. Thankfully he wasn't one to pry.