Gypsy Kiss: Micah Part 33

"Of course, Mr uh...?"

"My brothers are Micah and Marco Machvaya. Brought in from a fire, a f.u.c.king hour ago. We would appreciate an update, if you people can manage that."

Nic sighed, "Eli..."

"What?" Eli snapped, and Nic said nothing. No one did, what was there to say?

"I'll see what I can find out." The nurse said, and then added, "You know you can't smoke in here, sir. There's a designated smoking area outside the main entrance where you-"

Eli pointed to the cigarette. "Does it look like I'm f.u.c.king smoking it? No. Now run along and do your f.u.c.king job. Yeah? Great."

"G.o.d d.a.m.n it, Eli!" Nic snapped. "Even now, you still have to-"

He didn't get anything else out, because at that moment Mari came bounding through the door, followed by Lisa. Lisa said nothing to us, immediately pulling Eli out into the corridor away from the rest of us, presumably to work her magic and try to calm him down.

As Nic stood, Mari fell into his arms, sobbing and he just held her for a while, letting her get it out of her system.

"Please tell me it's not true..." she said, her voice a whisper. "Please, Nic..."

"Mari..." Nic started.

"It came up on the local news, we saw the fire. They said two people were brought out. It's Micah and Marco, right? Are they...alright? I mean they're not...right?"

He didn't answer her, none of us did, and she pulled him away to arms-length, searching his face. "Nic, tell me!"

"Micah is...he couldn't breathe, they're working on him now, but it seems pretty bad. Marco, he..." he let out a sigh and with it a couple of fresh tears. "He didn't make it sweetheart."

At that, her legs gave way beneath her. Nic caught her, helping her to a seat and held on tight to her for a while as she sobbed. Still, no one said anything.

I could feel my own chest tightening, the full horror of the night finally beginning to sink in to my subconscious, giving me a weird, lightheaded, nauseous feeling that threatened to consume me.

I guess I was still in shock. The idea that Marco was dead refused to settle in my brain as an actual fact and the thought of Micah being seriously ill and possibly dying too...well, I couldn't even contemplate it. And so I just sat there in numb shock, staring at the wall opposite.

"Well how long is it gonna take?" I heard Eli shout out in the corridor. We all froze and listened carefully to the conversation. I gathered the nurse had managed to get hold of a doctor, and although a part of me was glad we might finally get some information, I almost didn't want to know what they had to say.

"Mr Machvaya...perhaps we should go and sit down and discuss this further."

"We all just want to know if he is going to be alright, and when we can see him. We've lost a brother, but he's lost a twin, you understand? No, you can't. But I know, see? I know what that's going to do to him. So he shouldn't be alone. One of us needs to be with him."

"Mr Machvaya your brother is unconscious right now and still being treated. Can we go and sit down and I will answer as many of your questions as I can."

More muttering and complaint from Eli and then he marched back in with the doctor following cautiously. Nic, ever courteous and respectful, stood up, and shook the doctor's hand.

"I'm Nic, Micah's oldest brother. How is he?"

The doctor scanned the room, silently acknowledging everyone and pulled up a spare plastic chair, gesturing for Nic to sit back down, which he did, immediately taking Mari's hand in his again.

"Mr Machvaya, as I was telling your brother...Micah is currently unconscious. His condition is serious, critical but not at present life threatening. He inhaled a lot of smoke, we have him on a mechanical ventilator giving him fresh pure oxygen and it seems to be helping, but he'll be weak for a while as he makes his recovery. Um...as far as burns go...Micah burned both his hands, his right shoulder and the right side of his face. The burns to his face are the least serious; most likely he covered his face with his clothing, or his hands resulting in minimal damage there. These burns are not serious and should heal well with treatment and care. The burns on his shoulder are superficial partial thickness burns, the top few layers of skin have been burned and that may take a little longer to heal but we can treat it and hopefully keep the damage to a minimum there too. His hands, they are a little more serious. There he has deep partial thickness burns, we're going to have to take extra care with those and he may require surgery if they don't heal as we hope they will. In any case, all his burns have been dressed and will need to be regularly checked and changed to ensure the risk of infection is kept low and to encourage speedier healing."

"Will he be scarred?" Luca asked, answering the one question that had been in my head but I had been too afraid to ask.

The doctor hesitated before answering. "There is a small chance of slight scarring to his shoulder, maybe a change in pigmentation on his face and yes, most likely his hands will scar. But...we are, at this stage, confident that Micah is young enough and in good enough health overall that he will make a recovery and there is no immediate danger of us losing him, providing he continues to make progress as he is right now."

"That's easy for you to say." Eli muttered and Nic shot him a warning look.

"Eli, don't-"

"Nic, we both know...there's no way of knowing what Micah's future will be like until he wakes up. And when he wakes up, he will know that Marco is...is gone. And I can't begin to contemplate what that will do to him. Can you see him getting over that? Cause I can't. I'm sorry, I know I'm always the negative one in your eyes, but maybe...just maybe I'm the only one being practical and realistic as usual."

Nic scoffed and nodded. "Oh yeah, that's you alright. Elijah the robot. Plodding through life, telling everyone how it is, feeling nothing."

Eli narrowed his eyes and I saw Luca and Kris exchange an oh s.h.i.t look. I realised I was bearing witness to this wonderful family crumbling before my eyes. One of the links in the Machvaya chain was gone, and the rest were hurting because of it. We were all feeling the pain in our own ways, from our own perspective, and expressing it in our own ways.

"Feeling nothing? Are you f.u.c.king serious?"

"Yeah," Nic said, standing up and fronting him out. "When was the last time you felt any emotion other than anger, huh? Always stomping about the place mouthing off and being rude to people...why don't you try another emotion? Marco is dead; things are s.h.i.tty enough without you, Mr Negative rubbing salt in the wounds!"

At that, to my surprise, they lunged at each other, and despite the fact that Luca and Kris were both sitting there; it was Mari who jumped up and physically got in between them.

"Stop it, please!" she begged, one hand on Eli's chest, the other on Nic's chest, keeping them apart. "We need to be sticking together now! For Micah. For us. For...for me." she looked at the doctor and forced a pained smile despite the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you, for coming to talk to us, and for looking after Micah. Let us know when we can see him, huh? And...and if one of us could see Marco?"

"Oh, I don't know if that's such a good idea, he-"

"Please. One of us needs to see him, he's our...he's our brother. He sang to me when I was little...he's...he was...such a big character and I for one can't...can't even begin to...until I've seen him."

The doctor considered that and nodded. "There's no rush. You understand he sustained serious burns. The coroner will be doing a full post mortem to determine cause of death but no one is going to stop you seeing him. Just don't rush it. Micah is being moved to intensive care very soon, and then I will come and fetch you okay? Although only one or two of you will be allowed in at any one time. If you need anything, just ask a member of staff."

"Thank you, very much." Nic said quietly and the doctor nodded respectfully and left.

No one seemed to know what to say. It was just awful, the most painful silence I had ever experienced. I wanted someone to tell me Micah was going to be alright, but no one was saying that. I wanted to ease the new tension between Nic and Eli. I wanted to ease the pain that Mari was obviously in. And above all, I wanted to hold my boyfriend in my arms and kiss him and feel his love and warmth all around me.

I already knew it would be a long time before that happened, before I had that feeling back that could only come from a loving Micah embrace, I just could not have imagined just how long.

I jumped up out of my seat suddenly, and all eyes fell on me expectantly, waiting to see what I had to say. Even I was surprised when I opened my mouth and out popped "You have a spare cigarette, Eli?"

Eli frowned, taken aback and nodded. "Yeah."

"Come outside with me? Never smoked in my life, but right now..."

I didn't wait for him to reply just started walking, out the door and down the corridor. I stopped at the first set of double doors I came to and marched out into the cold night air, taking in a deep breath and shivering against the biting wind.

I heard the door open and shut behind me and Eli stepped out, standing beside me.

"Here...you sure?" he said, handing me a cigarette. I nodded my thanks and stood while he lit it for me. I took a long drag, coughing as the smoke hit my lungs. Why did people do this? I let the smoke out with a deep sigh.

I was pretty sure Eli wanted to say something but he seemed to be agonising over whether to. I waited a while, not wanting to push him and put him off. Eventually he turned to me.

"Jewls, we were in the kitchen together, right? Me and you before the party. Tell me...I switched everything off, right? Please tell me I didn't leave an oven on or...or..." He shook his head regretfully. "G.o.d I hope to Christ this isn't my fault."

I shook my head. "We both know you are far more careful than that. There's no way this is your fault."

"I don't understand how this has happened Jewls. But if it is something I did, I swear I will never..."

He trailed off, and was looking behind me at something or someone. I turned around to see what had caught his eye and saw three police officers talking to the doctor and being directed down to us. I felt my heart sink. Why now, did they have no sense of decency?

They came to us and I saw that shield, that hard exterior sweep back over Eli, the stone wall going back up.

"Can we help you?"

"Nicoli Machvaya?"

"No, that's my brother, I'm Eli. What do you want with him?"

"Just a few questions for now. We're working with the fire department to figure out what happened tonight. My sincere condolences on your family's loss."

Eli nodded absently. "Can't this wait? We still have one brother critically ill."

"I know, Mr Machvaya. But it's important we establish quickly what happened and how your brother died."

"He burnt to death." Eli said abruptly and I winced, couldn't help it. Nic was right; sometimes Eli came across as robotic, unfeeling. We all knew it wasn't the case but still...the man had no tact whatsoever.

"Can we speak to your brother, Eli? Just for ten minutes."

Eli shrugged disinterestedly and started to walk, and they followed him. I decided to finish my cigarette first and then head in. I needed a moment to myself; I was still trying to let everything sink in, and couldn't understand why it refused to. After a few minutes, I realised I had to go back inside, I couldn't avoid it any longer. As I reached the family room, I heard raised voices and was surprised to hear one of them was Nic's. As I stepped inside Mari offered her hand and when I took it, she pulled me to her side.

"My brother is dead." Nic snapped. "My other brother, his twin? He's lying in a hospital bed gasping for every breath. His hands are badly burnt, his shoulder, and his face. And they're burnt because he tried to carry Marco out of a burning building, his twin Marco, who was on fire. And you're asking me if everything was okay financially? Because what? You think this was an insurance job? Is that what you're implying? How dare you..."

"Nic..." Mari started and he shrugged her off.

"No! Our restaurant...our livelihood...we worked b.l.o.o.d.y hard to build it up. All of us did...the seven of us. We had a successful thriving business we all worked hard to build. And now it's gone. And we've lost a brother. And Micah may never be the same again. And you're accusing us of...what...?"

"Mr Machvaya, no one is..."

A knock on the door cut the officer off, as the doctor from before stuck his head in the room. "Sorry to interrupt, but Micah is conscious. He wants to see just Nic for now, that's the only name the only word he could get out. I'm sure he will want to see you all at some point but just Nic for now, if that's okay?"

Oh man, that hurt. No sense in lying to myself, it hurt like h.e.l.l. It might have been selfish but I felt like if he had wanted to see anyone...well, it should be me. I was hurt, and utterly confused. It had been a matter of hours since he had proposed to me, and now in his hour of need...it wasn't me he wanted. G.o.d, if I thought that hurt, I had no idea what was to come.

Nic glanced briefly at me with an almost apologetic look, almost as though he could read my mind, and nodded at the doctor.

"Okay, thank you."

"Mr Machvaya," the policeman obviously not equipped with the tact required for such a delicate conversation interrupted. "See your brother, but bear in mind, we need to finish this conversation sooner rather than later. We just want to find out as quickly as possible what happened tonight."

Nic marched forward with purpose, just managing to find some personal control from somewhere to stop short of fronting out the officer. "I think you ought to leave and liaise with the fire service or whatever it is you need to do, and leave me to try to put my broken family back together. Micah wants to see me, and every second I waste with you lot, he's alone. So you'll have to excuse me."

And with that, he turned and marched out, leaving us all completely speechless. Mari slipped her hand into mine and squeezed it in silent support.

All our hearts were breaking.

Micah Lying there, watching my brother die was the single worst moment of my life. I had never felt pain like it before and never have since.

Waking up in the hospital I had a brief few seconds of blissful ignorance before the knowledge hit me again like a sledgehammer to the gut. My first instinct was to find him, to get to him and just be with him, even if I couldn't save him. Not having him by my side felt wrong in every way. I needed to get to him. I fought against the doctors, ignoring the excruciating pain that ripped through me as I leant on my burnt shoulder, staring in disbelief at the stumps that were my burnt and bandaged hands. I never even made it off the bed, I had strength it's amazing what adrenalin can do when you're distressed enough but I simply did not have enough air.

I felt all the time like I couldn't breathe. Every breath was a monumental effort. And it wasn't just because my lungs felt clogged with soot, it wasn't because I had a severe chest infection and needed to be constantly fed fresh, pure oxygen to get well again...I was crushed and crippled with grief. I felt like I had an elephant sitting on my chest, sucking the air and life out of me.

I had lost my twin brother, the other half of me and my heart was torn in two. I was the definition of a broken man. It would be a very long time before I would even begin to put myself back together, even want to.

I vaguely heard the doctor ask me did I want someone with me and, realising I didn't want Jewls to see me in this state, I said the first name that popped into my head and the only word I could get out without launching into a harsh, painful coughing fit. Nic.

I lay there desperately trying to hold on to my emotions, knowing that if I didn't, if I let myself fall into the abyss of overwhelming grief I would probably never, ever find my way back out.

I hadn't seen myself in a mirror but it didn't take a genius to know I was in bad shape. The pain told me where I was burnt my hands, my shoulder and my face. I didn't know if the damage was permanent or would heal and I don't remember ever caring really. The pain was my price, for surviving and for not managing to save Marco. At least I was alive.

My eyes stung, my vision limited as a result. The air alone seemed to irritate the h.e.l.l out of them. I closed them tight and when I opened them again my eldest brother was looking down on me.

He was doing his best to give me his most comforting big brother look, but his eyes, full of tears, betrayed him. He kept looking down the bed and I knew he was agonising because he wanted to hold my hand, and he couldn't. He wanted to touch me, offer some rea.s.surance but he didn't want to hurt me. Eventually he seemed to reach a decision and placed a hand carefully on my left cheek tenderly.

"I'm so sorry, brother..." he whispered. And it was my undoing, I broke down. I sobbed my heart out, and Nic cried too. He didn't say anything else.

Really, what was there to say?

Jewls Nic came back to us a while later, and spent time trying to rea.s.sure us me in particular that Micah only letting him in was not personal, he just needed some time, and he was in a bad way, emotionally. I kind of understood, if it were me I wouldn't want to be surrounded by people either, and the thought of Micah seeing me like that didn't sit well. Still, I wished I could be in there with him, comforting him like a girlfriend should.

We had all listened as he explained that Micah was stable but pretty distressed and not talking. He promised to stay with him and suggested that we all should go home. For starters both me and Mari protested fiercely, but we were quickly overruled by the boys. And honestly, I was in shock emotionally but physically my body was exhausted. It had been a long and stressful few hours.

I travelled in the car with Eli and Mari, all of silent lost in our own thoughts. Naturally with Eli's driving we got home before the others. I noticed we took a different route back, one that didn't go past the restaurant and I for one was glad of that. Part of me had wanted to ask Eli to drop me at my flat, I felt weird being at the house all of a sudden, like I didn't belong there a feeling that was only going to be heightened in the following days and weeks. But, I knew it would upset Mari, and so I had kept my thoughts to myself.

I stood awkwardly in the doorway watching as Mari did her thing and headed straight for the kitchen and Eli headed to the living area switching the fire on to warm the place through. I didn't know where to put myself. There were no words to speak, and there was nothing for me to do.

Mari re-emerged from the kitchen holding a big bottle of Jack Daniels, came straight for me, took my hand and led me to the large sofa, sitting me down beside her. Before we could say anything, the front door opened and Lisa came in, followed by Kris and Luca. Eli went to her and I watched as she hugged him in a tight embrace for some time, before kissing his cheek, releasing him and leaving, I gathered to get home to the kids.

Pretty soon I found myself surrounded by the Machvaya clan, a shot gla.s.s of whiskey in my hand. I had never drunk the stuff in my life, hated the smell of the stuff but somehow it didn't seem right to refuse it.

Eli started to speak, cleared his throat and tried again, holding his gla.s.s up. "Um...to Marco. Our brother."

We all held our gla.s.ses up and then drank them down together. Again, that hideous silence. It was a surprise to me when it was Luca who broke it.

"Hey, Eli...remember that time we got the call that Marco was drunk in charge of a pedalo? The coastguard had to fish him out of the sea, Nic let rip at him."

We all sort of half smiled at that, and Eli smirked. "Yeah. He said he was trying to get home, and the police officer who brought him home asked him if he lived in Holland. He's never been able to handle his drink, though he's not such a lightweight as Micah."

Mari scoffed. "I'll say...too many times to list them all. Uh...when he threw up on the trampoline after deciding to have a bounce on the way in from clubbing at four in the morning...falling through Nic's twelve foot Christmas tree on New Year's Eve..." we all laughed a little at that.

"And..." Luca said, "you remember the time you brought him home wearing just his underpants?"