Green Stockings Part 30

(_Enter_ CELIA _with box supposed to contain love letters and small box supposed to contain watch and pin. She closes the door and deliberately disregards open doors at back_.)

CELIA. (_Keeping her eyes fixed on her box of letters, crosses_ C.

_below table_) I'm back, Aunty dear. I wasn't very long, was I? I've got my box of love letters. (_Holds out box and looks at it ruefully_) Well, they will go into the furnace with my own hands. (_Places box right of her on table_.) And his watch and his pin, infamous things, he'll have those back and a letter with them, that I hope will burn without going into the furnace. (CELIA _goes to desk and takes up a piece of paper as if to write_) Tell me, dear. Did Wilson telephone?

SMITH. (_Who has appeared at back from_ R.) Yes, Miss Faraday, he did.

(CELIA _drops the paper from her hand, turns slowly around, sees open doors, walks deliberately to screen and looks over it, her back to the audience. She turns around, her face expressing chagrin and annoyance at_ AUNT IDA'S _failing her_.) Mayn't I come into the room and speak to you?

CELIA. Certainly not. (_Goes and viciously seizes her coat from chair and begins to put it on_.)

SMITH. (_Coming into the room just the same and coming down above her on the_ R.) You told me, I know, there was nothing more to say but good-bye and I'll say that too, if I must. But first, there is something else to say and I'd much rather _say_ it than write it.

CELIA. Mo, whatever you do, don't write--don't write me anything. I dislike letters intensely and just at present they seem to be a drug on the market. (_Picks up her bag and veil_.)

SMITH. But there is something I _must_ say to you before you go.

CELIA. How do you know I'm going anywhere?

SMITH. (_Looks down at her bag and smiles_) Well? (CELIA _swings bag to other side of her_.) Besides, I overheard Wilson's message.

CELIA. Oh, you did. Well, then perhaps you will be good enough to realize that I'm in something of a hurry. You will find your jewelry there on the desk.

SMITH. Won't you sit down for five minutes?

(_READY Horn_.)

CELIA. Certainly not.

SMITH. Just five!

CELIA. No.

SMITH. If you don't, upon my word, I shall begin to believe that you are afraid of me.

CELIA. (_Sits quickly with her back to the audience_ L. _of table_) Indeed! That wouldn't be your _first_ mistake, you know.

SMITH. I know it was a foolish trick. I had no right to come here as I did.

CELIA. It was a cruel joke.

SMITH. (_Simply and feelingly_) Yes, but a joke that is more on me now than it ever was on you. (_Motor horn toots three times_. CELIA _turns her head in the direction of the conservatory_.) I want you to know that my name really is Vavasour.

CELIA. You astonish me. Isn't it anything else too?

SMITH. Yes, it's really J. N. Smith, too.

CELIA. Oh! Is that all?

SMITH. No, more. Now that I have come in to my Uncle Vavasour's old Abbey, I have to take his name legally, Smith-Vavasour, don't you see?

CELIA. I see. What a delightful combination of cla.s.s and ma.s.s! This may be all very interesting to anyone interested, but really I haven't time now to split hairs over a middle name. Your intention was to deceive me, and you almost succeeded. Failure alone, I take it, accounts for your present humility. Now, if you will be good enough to get your watch on the desk, you will see that the five minutes you asked for are up and, since you insist on saying good-bye to me, will you say it as quickly as possible, please, and let me go? (_Makes no attempt to move_.)

SMITH. No. Not until we've decided what's to be done about your other letters. (_Hand unconsciously rests on the box of letters without his knowing it_.)

CELIA. (_Glances at this and tries to appear unconcerned_) What other letters?

SMITH. I have that first one here. (_Pressing his hand over his heart_.) But--all the others. Good G.o.d! (_Moving well down_ R.) When I think of love letters of yours wandering loose about Somaliland---- (CELIA _places her bag quickly on table, steals her arm across, seizes the box of letters while_ SMITH _is not looking, and on the word Somaliland, swings away from him, hiding the box awkwardly under her cloak_.) There's one thing I can do to show you what I feel about it.

Give me some clue to the mistaken addresses you must have put upon them and I'll start back to-morrow and fetch them. (_Comes_ L.C., _quite close to_ CELIA.)

CELIA. From Somaliland?

SMITH. From _h.e.l.l_, if necessary.

CELIA. Fortunately, such a journey would be superfluous.

SMITH. What do you mean?

CELIA. I mean that all of those hundreds and hundreds of letters that I was fool enough to write to an imaginary hero are all here in this box. And now they're going into the furnace with my own hands.

(_Starts for door, swinging the box in her right hand_.)

SMITH. (_Following her and playfully taking the box from her_) Won't you give them to me instead?

CELIA. (_Turns back and they both hold on to box_) Certainly not. It's an additional insult that you should even suggest such a thing. Do you suppose I ever want to see you or hear your name again--a man who has dared to hold me up to ridicule as you have done--to wickedly and cruelly amuse himself at my expense---- (SMITH _gives a low laugh_.) Oh, don't you suppose I know how funny I must have seemed to you? Ha!

Ha! (_Imitates_ SMITH'S _laugh_.) Silly idiot of a girl, tired of having no notice taken of her, tired of being kept on the shelf, just dying to show people how attractive she could be--only give her the chance. And to think because of that I made such an everlasting fool of myself before a man, a man who is capable of----

SMITH. Capable of telling you a lie, Miss Faraday? (_Puts box of letters on table_.)

(_READY Motor Horn_.)

CELIA. Well, you did. You know you did. You did everything you could think of to deceive me.

SMITH. I can't deny it.

CELIA. And do you believe that a man or a woman could ever bring himself or herself to respect or have anything to do with a man or a woman who--who deceived?

SMITH. I do believe it. And judging by my own case, I may say I know it.

CELIA. I don't think it is very generous of you to allude to me in that manner.

SMITH. Me. We are discussing me, Miss Faraday. What can I say to induce you to forgive me?

CELIA. Nothing. (SMITH _turns away. She glances at him. In an indifferent tone_) But, of course, you may say it if you wish.

SMITH. (_Turns and comes to her. Tenderly_) I _did_ lie to you elaborately, and I'm going to be jolly glad that I had the chance of lying to you, and I want all the rest of my life the chance of telling you the truth. These few hours with you have made me want so very much for more like them, made me want a chance to seem less odious in your eyes, at least to be on a fair footing, so that I may take my chances with the rest.

CELIA. (_Looking straight into his eyes_) But they haven't any chance at all.