Green Stockings Part 29

AUNT IDA. I'm not saying a word.

CELIA. h.e.l.lo! h.e.l.lo! Give me Sir William Raleigh's house, please. Yes, I know the family is away, but I want to speak to Mr. James Raleigh.

(_Stuffs handkerchief in telephone receiver and turns to_ AUNT IDA.) Aunt Ida, tell me, do you know, are there any Smiths _ranching_ in Chicago?

AUNT IDA. (_Slightly tipsily_) Smiths? Smiths? I don't know.

CELIA. (_Into telephone_) What? He's not in? (MARTIN _enters with wraps and bags. Crosses back of table to chair_ L. _of table_.) Well, have him ring me up directly he comes in--Miss Faraday. Yes, please.

(_Puts up telephone. Jumps up, goes to_ MARTIN, _helps him place wraps on chair, takes bag and puts it on floor, beside and to the_ L. _of chair_ R.)

(NOTE: _The wraps must be placed across_ MARTIN'S _arms in the following manner_: CELIA'S _wrap on bottom, then her veil and bonnet.

Next comes m.u.f.f and fur for_ AUNT IDA. _Then the ulster for_ AUNT IDA _and on top her bonnet. The bag is in_ MARTIN'S _hand_.)

MARTIN. (_Going_ C. _above table_) Shan't I clear the table, Miss?

CELIA. No, leave it till morning. Don't bother about anything. Go to bed, Martin, go to bed. Good-night.

MARTIN. Thank you, Miss. Good-night. (_Goes_ L. _and exits_.)

AUNT IDA. You have forgotten the whiskey and soda.

CELIA. (_Seizes_ AUNT IDA'S _bonnet from pile of wraps and crosses to her above table_) Of course I have. You don't suppose I'm going to have those two men back here until we're out of the way. (_Placing bonnet on_ AUNT IDA'S _head from back_) I don't want to hurry you, dear, but we must be ready the minute Mr. Raleigh gets here. (CELIA _is so excited that she gets_ AUNT IDA'S _bonnet on quite to one side, ties a rampant bow under her right ear, then flies up stage and peeps through curtain on door to see if the men are returning_. AUNT IDA _during this is showing serious signs of the effect of the brandy by grotesque gestures and movements of her head_. CELIA _returns_ R. _of_ AUNT IDA.) How do you feel now, Aunt Ida, how do you feel now?

AUNT IDA. (_Quite tipsily_) I never felt like this before in all my life. I think I've got a chill.

CELIA. A chill? Do you want a little more brandy? (_Goes for decanter_.)

AUNT IDA. No--no--no--no.

CELIA. (_Seizing ulster and going back to her_) Then get into this. It will keep you warm while you are waiting. (_She helps_ AUNT IDA, _who is still seated, into the ulster, her right arm first. She then rushes back to chair for fur and m.u.f.f_.)

AUNT IDA. (_Flopping on table_) Oh, Celia! Why do we have to go on this dreadful journey?

CELIA. (_Handing her m.u.f.f over her shoulder, which_ AUNT IDA _clutches and hugs like a child_) To get to Chicago, dear, to get to Chicago!

(_Placing stole around her neck_) And we'll be there almost before you realize it. (_Telephone bell rings_. CELIA _throws stole quickly around_ AUNT IDA'S _face, almost smothering her, and rushes to telephone_.) h.e.l.lo!--h.e.l.lo!--What?--Yes, Mr. Raleigh. I did--Mr.

Raleigh, Aunt Ida has just had a cable from Chicago with some very bad news.

AUNT IDA. Oh! Oh!

CELIA. (_To_ AUNT IDA) Hush! (_Into telephone_) And she has got to get away to-night on the midnight train. I want to go a little way with her. Won't you come and drive us to the station in your motor?--What?

You will? Oh, that's very kind of you, but don't drive up to the door.

(AUNT IDA _rises, supporting herself on table_.) No, stay down by the gate and we'll walk down. (AUNT IDA _has moved cautiously around and walks over to the conservatory window_.) Just blow your horn gently when you get here, so we'll know that you've arrived. We'll go down as quickly as we can. Yes.--Thanks.--Yes, yes. (_Hangs up receiver and goes for her bonnet. Crosses below table to door_ R.) How do you feel now, Aunt Ida? How do you feel now?

AUNT IDA. I'm afraid it's a fever, or else I'm dreadfully over-heated.

(_Sits on stool_.)

CELIA. (_Going to her_) You'll be all right, once you're in the fresh air. But I've got to leave you for a few moments while I run upstairs and get my box of love letters. I can't go away and leave those things behind me. There are about two hundred and fifty of them by this time.

(_Going_ R.) I've been writing to that man every day for eight months.

AUNT IDA. Celia! (CELIA _stops. Beckons to her tipsily_. CELIA _goes to her_.) Do you know something, Celia. I believe you're half in love with Smith.

CELIA. (_Going back_ R.) You dear old goose, you don't know what you're talking about. I half in love with that man? Half in love with a man who has treated me as that man has done? Well--(_Going further_ R.)--I hope I'm not quite such a fool as that, Aunt Ida.

AUNT IDA. Oh, oh, oh, oh!

CELIA. (_With her back to_ AUNT IDA) Well, and if I were? Isn't it all the more reason for me to get out of this house before I make a bigger fool of myself? (_Goes to door_ R., _which she barely opens when_ AUNT IDA _stops her again_.)

AUNT IDA. Celia!!! (CELIA _turns_.) I believe--I ought to lie down.

CELIA. (_Lets the door slam to and rushes straight across the stage to_ AUNT IDA) No, Aunt Ida, dear, you can't do anything like that.

You can sleep in the motor and in the train, but you must stay here while I'm gone and listen for Wilson's telephone message and write it down.

AUNT IDA. It's no use. Just five minutes. I must lie down.

CELIA. I won't be a minute.

AUNT IDA. Now I'm getting cold. Put something around me.

CELIA. Well, here. (_Puts screen in front of her_) This will keep off the draught and you can have the fresh air at the same time, and have a little nap while you're waiting. (_Speaking over, her shoulder, she goes_ R. _to door_) No one will disturb you, dear. I've locked that door and will take the key of this one with me, and I'll hurry back as fast as I can, Aunt Ida, just as fast as---- (_Exits quickly, locking door behind her_.)

(_There is a pause. The faint toot of a motor horn is heard off_ L.

AUNT IDA'S _hands are seen to grasp the top of the outer wings of the screen, one by one. Her head appears for a moment. She looks about tipsily and then drops suddenly out of sight again. After a pause, a second toot is heard_. AUNT IDA _rises slowly and carefully and comes out_ R. _of screen. She is extremely puzzled_.)

AUNT IDA. Now what was that? (_Her eye lights on telephone and a smile breaks over her face_) The telephone. Wilson's message. Must write it down. (_Goes carefully and slowly to desk and sits heavily in chair.

Takes off receiver and places transmitter to her ear. There is a pause as she listens. A look of terror and surprise creeps over her face_.) Now! something's the matter with my ears. I can't hear a word they say. I believe I'm paralyzed. Oh, dear. (_Looks helplessly about her_.) Why doesn't Celia come back? (_She has taken a pen in her right hand to write down the message. She holds the receiver in her left hand. She looks from one to the other and cannot make up her mind which goes where. She finally decides and elaborately puts the pen in the telephone hooks with a satisfied smile. She then carefully places the receiver on the desk where the pen ought to be_.) It's not us.

This has been a dreadful day. (_Slowly and carefully rising and looking tipsily about_) If I'm to be good for anything to-night, I will have to lie down somewhere. (_Goes up to doors_) If only for five minutes. (_Unlocks and opens doors_) I'll have to lie down--I'll--have--to---- (_She exits at back to_ R., _whimpering to herself. When she is off, the telephone bell begins to ring. After it has rung for a moment_, FARADAY _is heard off stage, calling_)

FARADAY. (_Off stage_ L.) Celia! Celia! Where are you, Celia? (_He appears from the_ L. _and stands in_ C. _doorway, looking off right.

His jaw drops_.) What--is--the--matter--with--your--Aunt? (_The telephone bell continues to ring. He hurries down_.) Here! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop it! (SMITH _enters and comes down_ L. _of table above chair where_ CELIA'S _coat and bag are_. FARADAY _sees pen in telephone hooks, jerks it out and throws it on desk and picks up receiver. Bell stops ringing_.) h.e.l.lo! h.e.l.lo! Faraday Hall. Mr.

Faraday speaking.--Tell Miss Faraday what? You've made the reservation on the midnight train, change cars at Cobden?

SMITH. (_Sees_ CELIA'S _wraps and bag and starts slightly_) Miss Faraday going? (_Moves_ R. _above table, thinking_.)

FARADAY. (_Into telephone_) Nonsense, man, you mean Mrs. Faraday. At twelve noon, she's leaving, not twelve _midnight_.--What's that you say? It was Miss Celia that telephoned and said she was going herself?

Nonsense, man! Don't argue with me. I'm afraid you've been drinking, my man. (_Smells telephone_) The telephone _reeks of brandy!_ Try to be sober by morning. Remember, we need you in this election. (_As he hangs up telephone_) I've only known him to be drunk once before--decent chap and devoted to Celia.

SMITH. (R. _of table_) Every one is, sir. She's peculiarly attractive.

FARADAY. Yes, but it's taken people a long time to find it out. Now, where has Martin put that whiskey? (_He goes fussing about the room_) But the men who want to step into Smith's shoes now are legion.

(_Still looking about and fussing. Picks up brandy decanter. Smells it and puts it down_.)

SMITH. It's a legion, sir, I'd like to enlist in at once. Have I your permission?

FARADAY. Of course you have, my dear fellow, of course you have!

(_Crossing_ R.) If I can only find that d.a.m.n whiskey and soda, I will drink good luck to you. (_Rattles door down_ R. _Finds it locked_) What do you suppose that scoundrel Martin has been up to? _Has everybody been drinking to-night?_ Come, we'll have to go around through the library. (_Goes up to_ C. _door and exits_ R. SMITH _follows him. As_ SMITH _gets to door, the motor horn toots twice. He pauses and looks back, knowingly, then exits off_ R. _After his exit, horn toots twice_.)