Green Stockings Part 21

(CELIA _comes down_ R. _of sofa_.)

STEELE. I am sure that must be very affecting, but it will be extremely bad for the cause if Miss Faraday stays at home to-night, and this is a time when it doesn't do for any of us to be selfish.

You'll come, won't you, Miss Faraday?

FARADAY, (C.) Certainly not.

SMITH. (R.C.) It would really be almost indecent to press Miss Faraday to go. (SMITH _and_ FARADAY _turn up stage_.)

STEELE. (_Slightly piqued_) Oh, very well. Then as I can't do anything for anyone, I suppose I had better be getting along. (_Exits_ L.IE.

_and leaves door open_.)

RALEIGH. How that fellow Steele does give himself away. Silly a.s.s!

(_Goes_ R. _to_ CELIA.) I must say, Miss Faraday, that I think you are absolutely right to stay away from the Admiral's. The way that old man dogs your footsteps is positively revolting, but--(_With insinuating smile, kneeling on stool below sofa. Fatuously_)--but you might come on to the Philharmonic Concert afterwards. Don't you think so?

(_Laughs idiotically_.) Don't you think so?

CELIA. (_Shaking her head sadly_) Not to-night, Mr. Raleigh. Not to-night. (_Exits_ R.IE.)

RALEIGH. Oh, very well. It's about time for me to be getting along.

(_Crosses quickly to door_ L.) I shall see you all at the Admiral's, (_Exits quickly, closing door_.)

FARADAY. G.o.d bless my soul! I thought he came to give some of us a lift.

MADGE _and_ EVELYN. Why, yes.

(AUNT IDA _enters quickly through morning room and comes down_ R.C., _looking about her_.)

AUNT IDA. (_Gayly_) Hope I am not last.

FARADAY. Well, you are.

(PHYLLIS _and_ TARVER _enter_, TARVER _in evening dress with his hat and overcoat and atlas_. PHYLLIS _with her wraps_. TARVER _goes to head of table_ R. _and studies his atlas_. PHYLLIS _sits on fender_.)

AUNT IDA. (_Looking about and fastening her gloves_) Well, Celia is not down yet.

MADGE. Celia isn't coming.

AUNT IDA. What!

(SMITH _comes down stage to_ L. _of_ AUNT IDA.)

FARADAY. (_Coming down_ L.C. _with_ SMITH) Ida, this is Colonel Vavasour. My sister-in-law, Mrs. Chisholm Faraday. (_To_ SMITH) Who has been, I may say, more than a mother to our poor Celia through all this, more than a mother.

SMITH. I am delighted to make your acquaintance. (_Shakes her warmly by the hand_.) Friends of Miss Faraday have a claim upon me which can never be obliterated from my mind.

AUNT IDA. (_Briskly_) I am sure it is very pleasant to know that. But why?

(SMITH C., AUNT IDA _to his right_.)

FARADAY. Colonel Vavasour has just returned from Somaliland.

AUNT IDA. (_In horror_) What!!

MADGE. From Somaliland.

AUNT IDA. (_Involuntarily_) But why did he do that?

(SMITH _looks at_ FARADAY.)

FARADAY. Eh?--I don't think you understand, Ida. Colonel Vavasour is here--I may say--on an errand of mercy. He brings us news of our poor--gallant--lost friend--Smith.

AUNT IDA. S-S-Smith--?

FARADAY. Colonel Smith.

MADGE. Celia's Colonel Smith.

TARVER. (_Coming_ C. _at back with atlas, beckoning to_ FARADAY, _who joins him, and together they look over the atlas_, FARADAY _explaining something to_ TARVER) Colonel Vavasour knew him quite well.

AUNT IDA. (_In awestruck voice_) You--knew--the--Co--Co--Colonel?

SMITH. My dearest friend. I bring to Miss Faraday a few trinkets he habitually wore and his last dying message.

AUNT IDA. (_Wildly. Stands rigidly, staring at_ SMITH) Trinkets!! A message!! (_During the following speech_, AUNT IDA _gradually becomes more and more hysterical, culminating in a series of wild shrieks of hysterical laughter and grotesque movements of her arms and body_.)

SMITH. A long message. He used to lie in his sickbed, gazing across the thatched roofs of Berbera to the Arab dhows, riding at their anchors in the sea, and----

(AUNT IDA, _by now, is shrieking wildly and waving her arms above_.

MADGE _runs frightened across the_ L. _of_ AUNT IDA _and_ PHYLLIS _runs down from fender to_ R. _of_ AUNT IDA, _and together they help her into chair to_ L. _of table_ R. TARVER _and_ FARADAY _look up suddenly, startled_. SMITH _goes up_ L.C., _concealing laughter_.

PHYLLIS _stands_ R. _of chair below sofa, trying to hold_ AUNT IDA'S _hand_. EVELYN _runs excitedly and aimlessly about, looking for smelling salts_. FARADAY _runs up and down extreme_ L., _waving his arms_. MADGE _above chair, fanning_ AUNT IDA. TARVER C., _fanning_ AUNT IDA _with atlas. He kneels and fans her more vigorously. They all talk excitedly to each other, such as, "What has happened to your Aunt Ida?" "G.o.d bless my soul, can't you do something for your aunt?" "She is having a fit," "Go for a doctor," "Fan her, fan her," "Get some water," etc., etc. During all this_, AUNT IDA _is still shrieking_.)

PHYLLIS. (_At a signal from_ AUNT IDA) The shock has been too much for her.

MADGE. She's so devoted to Celia.

(AUNT IDA _whoops_.)