Good Morning, Miss Undercover Chapter 3.2

Tiding up the room, I aimed at black suit on the sofa, I frowned and by a curious coincidence took it and moved it close to the tip of my nose and sniffed it.

It didn´t have any odor. On the contrary a faint nameless cologne floated in. Lingering on tip of the nose.  It actually smelled somehow good.

The man, who uses cologne.

How peac.o.c.kish.

Thinking of this, I threw this suit away as if  avoiding a G.o.d of plague. Sulking, I clapped my hands, shouted loundly three times and began cleaning room.

However, going back and forth, entering or exiting several times, every single time my line of sight would nonchalantly fall onto that eye-sore black suit on the sofa.  In heart, unexpectedly, a rare  distraught rose. I severely reprimanded myself for last night´s unreasonable scene. I was really looking for troubles. Thereupon I made a call to Dongzi.

„Dongzi, tonight before going to work, come to my house to do me a small favour.“

Dongzi took away the suit. I told him to return it to Kang guy if he saw him. If Kang guy began asking, he had to only say an unfamiliar female customer hurriedly gave it to him. And also gave him some tips. He was merely doing it on behalf of other people.

In addition, these two days Deng Long has been continuously receiving visitors inside his exclusive box.  Very secretive. Even mama-san wasn´t able to get in. I had Dongzi to look for opportunities to go in exploring. To find out which  divinity he was meeting. This way it also made it easier for us instead of making a painstaking investigation to find a breakthrough to begin.

I continued sleeping in afternoon, for dinner as usual ate take out food. I ordered sweet and spicy shredded pork, improvising it together with flavored roasted seaweed and pickled cabbage to fill my stomach.

I can´t cook. In my youth, in order to get Fu Chen, I have once wanted to wash my hands and make a soup to prove that I was also able to become a warm and virtuous house woman.

But the fact is that the things I made can only be used to poison people. Feige[1]has once said that even animal like a pig, who possesses strong digestive system also must have closed eyes when it wanted to eat food I made. When it opened it´s eyes it´s cheeks were surely  covered with tears, believing that people fed itself with DDVP[2].

This comparison was very vicious. And after Feige´s speech was over, someone reacted by raising hand and said the pig, that has eaten Fang Liangliang´s food, was presumably contaminated. This pork absolutely musn´t get into shopping basket of the ma.s.ses. Nevertheless it should be hurriedly buried.

Once I have wanted to deny it but reality surpa.s.sed all denials. Reality is that I´m still that sloppy and ignoring advices´ Fang Liangliang. And the good man Fu Chen has already sought his happiness elsewhere. His new happiness is already new, who would still remember this sad reminder of the past´s me.

My small kitchen has long become overgrown gra.s.s. Has really grown gra.s.ses. Hems and breaches of cupboard and kitchen door have sprouted an ugly white mushroom appearance because of moist. Everytime I go through that kitchen full of dust, looking at that thriving tiny mushrooms on the kitchen door I would repeatedly smile bitterly.

I would mock myself. There´s no such a woman who would make no advancement like Fang Liangliang. My home was becoming like a mushroom.

Fu Cheng hated this point on me. Because I wasn´t obedient. I did what I wanted. He was very disappointed in me.

I am dispirited when I think about Fu Cheng. This man with mono eyelid is both the biggest pride and failure in my life. But we have already broken up. Even with a toe I am able to guess, as time flies I would be little by little erased from his heart. After some years, as he will have senile dementia when  others mention me, maybe he would believe I was thief who stole his wallet during that time.

He has once really called me a thief. That was our first Valentine´s day together.  Under Ferris wheel he laughed I was female thief who stole hearts.

Time pa.s.sed, I am a kind thief. I honestly returned him back his heart. Handing (it) over to let my beloved cousin to steal.

Past events are like smoke.

But fortunately my friendship with Feige would endure while the world lasts. Feige is my best friend. A woman. Full name – Jiang Gefei. She has hated this extremely awkward-sounding name from childhood till now. Feige is her nickname and my nickname is Liangge.

We two are precisely the legendary tomboy duo. However Feige was more pitiful than me. I had at least first love. Feige´s first love hasn´t yet got to the market, no one wanted. It sold poorly.

She is a volleyball player with a little reputation. She is tall and strong. She is extremely envious of my young girl like little face as well as my still could be regarded as curvaceous figure.

When I go out with her, absolute majority of time we are crazily looking for clothes, shoes and pants in her size that would fit her.  For this reason I have specially given her as a present for her birthday a collection of fine porcelain cups to express my mourning for her giant stature.

For this reason, she went to Taobao[3] maniacally looking for top poison Hedinghong to bestow me. In the end a shop owner quite regretfully told her – the prescription of this stuff has been already missing for a millennium. Miss if you want to effectively murder someone, you might as well purchase Three deer[4]milk powder. I guarantee it´s milk what you drink, but what you grow is stone.

Feige truly placed an order and wanted to purchase. I suppose she was probably the last Chinese person on this earth to find out about Three deer poisoned milk powder accident. It´s no wonder, she has been confining herself to train for a long time. Apart from compet.i.tions there are only trainings. There´s no wonder she is all brawn and no brains.

In the evening I received a long-distance phone call from the USA. My mum was rumbling, mixing Chinese with English, opening wide her foul mouth, telling me to not torment her so much. In this lifetime my fate was receiving  her corpse and not vice versa.  I knew she had sharp tongue but heart of tofu. Even when dreaming she was afraid I would, like my dad, kick the bucket. Therefore I obediently complied.

Following that uncle Alan using his lousy Chinese briefly expressed sympathy to me who failed in love. I laughed aloud saying I was fine, I was „a toad that wanted swan flesh“[5] doomed to be forever a female toad in the gutter. Uncle Alan right away exploded. He said, „Sweetheart, even I, the US toad managed to marry this east old swan, your mother. Visibly nowadays swans like to find toads as partners. G.o.d bless you.“

Although the old fellow doesn´t understand the situation but my heart-felt warm inside. I put down the phone and went to sleep. As a result I didn´t know I  groggily slept to what time. The ringing of mobile I used as an undercover agent  thoroughly woke me up.

It was an unfamiliar number and in addition persistent. I drowsily picked it up.

„h.e.l.lo?“

„Is it Fang Liangliang?“

„Yes. Who are you?“

„I have received the clothes. See you soon.“

I rubbed my eyes, yawned, „What clothes? Who are you?“

The man on the other side seemed familiar, he sounded very resonant.

„The man who was fooled by you.“

And then he, with bang, hanged the phone.

Listening to sudden beep sound on the other side, holding the phone I was thinking for ten seconds and finally remembered who he was.

Maybe it was woman´s intuition but when I blinked my drowsy eyes it was as if I saw a set of glowing cups added on my desk. Inside the cups was piping hot bitter water waiting for me to obediently drink it.

[1] it should be brother Fei but I like it more Feige (ge-means brother)

[2] DDVP (dimethyl dichloro-vinyl phosphate) – organic phosphate used as insecticide

[3] chinese website for online shopping similar to eBay and Amazon

[4] refers to 2008 PRC scandal involving milk powder adulterated with melamine

[5] refering to a person with no self-knowledge, thinking only about obtaining things that were impossible to obtain