Good Morning, Miss Undercover Chapter 2.2

I grasped firmly my railing, carelessly waved my hand and loudly said, „There is no need. I also have the habit of molesting only strangers. If I got familiar then it would be difficult to handle.“

The handsome slightly annoyed, suddenly, pushed me away. He spoke in a low voice, „It´s me who is mad.“

He turned around  and immediately  went away.

„Hey, the person can walk away but the suit must stay.“ I, who lost support, almost fell with one stumble.

He ignored me and continued striding.

„Hey.“

„Hey!“

He was still ignoring me.

„……..if you give me the suit I will tell you my name.“  Facing a beauty I, amazingly, betrayed myself.

His back side paused then continued walking forward. It looked as if he didn´t intend to stop even a bit.

Bored, I stroked my nose. All right, he absolutely didn´t take me seriously.

Tonight it was the second time being disliked by someone.  One was the old fool and the other was the young fool.  My usual respecting the old and cherishing the young was all in vain.

I unsteadily leaned against the wall, in heart flatly spurned by a few meters away´s beautiful man. …. I lifted my hands and rubbed my bare arms and talked to myself, „I´m going to freeze….amazing, ge (sound of burp), laoniang will go look for someone else to borrow.“

I dizzily turned my body, preparing to go find Ai Dong. This fellow had just recently graduated from the police academy. He was naively young and tender. What´s more his mouth was very sweet[1], always a mouthful „senior sister apprentice “. Lao Tan specially a.s.signed him to come here to act as waiter providing me a support. To say a little pleasant is to aid me with my job, to say a little unpleasant is that he is just afraid I would get drunk and cause him troubles.

My head ached. I had been drunk only twice in my life – once I beat a person to the hospital and once molested someone, which resulted getting myself in the police station.

Alas, it was truly not my fault. One was too ugly and vulgar and the other one was too beautiful and gentle.

In the end I, Fang Liangliang,  am nothing more than a pitiful person who pursue beauty.

Dear me, the day when I am disliked.

I staggeringly walked two steps, sensing sound of steady leather shoes behind my back. When I recovered from my bafflement, a suit carrying a body temperature a.s.sailed.  I instinctively caught it and afterwards watched the arriving one in a trance.

He stood in front of me – in shirt and tie, properly attired aloofly, yet could not cover up his seductive maturity and rakishness.

I measured him up.  Unexpectedly he didn´t have a pair of annoying evildoer peach blossom eyes[2]. His gaze was very cold and reserved.

He gloomily looked at me, slightly showing a trace of irritation, „Listen, you better tell me who you are? Surname as well as name.“

In the chilly night of spring,  I shivered a little. Geniuses adapt themselves to circ.u.mstances.  I put on myself the handsome´s suit. When I glimpsed logo on his collar, which represented extravagance I sighed in my heart.  A good stuff placing in my, Fang Liangliang´s, hands was a waste.

The me that put on the suit, mood clearly improved. Facing the beautiful man with wrinkled eyebrows I smiled sweetly, „My surname is Hu, name Youni, You as outstanding, Ni (妮)as buddhist nun just adding a female letter character (尼姑)[3]. Everyone likes to call me Youni[4].“

Hu Youni (胡优妮)，Hu Youni (忽悠你 I´m fooling you).

I flirtatiously poked my wig, „Mister, what´s your name.“

He said deadpan, „Kang. Kang Zixian.“

„Kang,“ I, minding my own business, pondered over the name of this man, „It´s a pleasure to meet you mister Kang, but can I ask you a question?“

He looked at me impatiently, but maintained his gentleman´s demeanor, „Miss Hu, please speak.“

„It´s like that…..what kind of nickname did your family picked for you? Kangkang[5] or Kangzi? Oh, no no. It´s Xiao Kangkang or Kangzi? Oh, no no no. If you were called Xiao Kangzi you would be too pitiful. It´s an eunuch´s name[6].“

After finishing babbling nonsense, this handsome Kang Zixian man was practically staring at me with twisted eyebrows. It was like he was brewing an episode of rainstorms and flurries. Presumably, he, once again, took me as a person from planet Pandora.

What a poor man, he surely must wish to send me back to my planet.

I heard a benevolent voice in my heart say:  Let go of this poor man. You should also return to s.p.a.ceship to rest a little. Today´s blow was too big.“

I am, after all, benevolent. Who let my name to be the same as Mother Mary[7]. As a result I let him off. I fished in his suit pocket. Empty. Hence said, „Firstly, lend me it for a night to wear. Don´t worry, I will definitely return it to you. If you don´t believe…..“

I dind´t think too much, I bluntly tore down the wig on my head and almost rudely stuffed it firmly into his hands. Looking at him dumbstrucked, with a boldness and confidence I said, „Take this and let it be a mortgage so as to avoid you saying I am bullying you. Let´s meet tomorrow, at this time, in this place, with this as an exchange item. Bu jian bu san[8]. Ok, let it be like this.“

The handsome,  didn´t know whether to laugh or cry, held my wig. He, like a statue, coldly watched me.  Before I left I, nevertheless, sincerely and with earnest wishes patted his shoulder and said, „Young man, in the future if you have nothing to do, don´t be so beautiful. It would be dangerous going out.“

Then I patted my own chest, burped. The strong smell of alcohol had his eyebrows wrinkled even deeper, „Not everyone is like me, Hu….Youni.  I, both, don´t rob money and also don´t s.e.xually hara.s.s.“

„I will remember you.“  Kang Zixian with eyes deep like sea, threw these fierce words my way while looking at me.

Eh, an empty threat.

However, he certainly didn´t know that I, Fang Liangliang, was actually the best spokesperson of these words. It was because I often liked to use these words on people I wanted to beat up – even though the majority of them I still haven´t  beaten.  At least it could intimidate. It´s well-tried. Apparently there is no lack od kindred spirits.

It´s just that I, young lady, wasn´t brought up by scare, just like that little girl singing in that song, not afraid not afraid[9].

I heartlessly smiled, „I will also remember the stunner like you.“

He stared at me, probably hating me till teeth tickling. I satisfyingly brushed past him, then suddenly remembered something. I turned my head and reminded, „Oh, sorry to trouble you but help me to wash the wig. It stinks so much. If I had known earlier I wouldn´t buy cheep goods.“

His face turned black, so black it terrified people.

I unrestrained left, pretending that I didn´t hear the sound of  gnashing teeth  behind my back.

I must admit, that after hearing this sound my terrible mood miraculously turned better.

I actually wanted to whistle.

[1] good at flattering people

[2] The shape of the eyes resemble peach blossom. The person who possesses these eyes has long eyelashes and the outer corner of this person´s eyes are slightly curved. The black and white of his/her eyes aren´t distictive. His/her  gaze can bewilder and astonish people.

[3] 女 –this is that character

[4] if we change pinyin (official phonetic system for transcribing the Mandarin)  in her name then her name would mean literally „I am fooling you“

[5] The most common ways to nickname in China: repeat a syllable of the given name, adding modifiers to a person’s given name such as lao (old), xiao (little) or zi (child)

[6] In the dramas many eunuch´s names begin with xiao and end with zi

[7] Her name in this nightclub is Ma Li, in chinese Mary is spell as Ma Li

[8]  An idiom lit. meaning “don’t see, don’t scatter.“ It means people have promised that they must not leave unless they see each other. It is often used when have an appointment.

[9] The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91yxk9m4IPw