Godolphin Part 29

"Oh, that I were a man!" said she, fervently.

"And why?" asked G.o.dolphin, smilingly.

"Why! look out on this broad theatre of universal ambition, and read the why. What a proud and various career lies open in this free city to every citizen! Look, look yonder--the old hereditary senate, still eloquent with high memories."

"And close by it," said G.o.dolphin, sneering, "behold the tomb!"

"Yes, but the tomb of great men!" said Constance, eagerly.

"The victims of their greatness."

There was a pause; Constance would not reply, she would scarcely listen.

"And do you feel no excitement, Percy, in the hum and bustle--the lights, the pomp of your native city?"

"Yes; I am in the mart where all enjoyment may be purchased."

"Ah, fie!"

G.o.dolphin drew his cloak round him, and put up the window.

"These cursed east winds!"

Very true--they are the curse of the country!

The carriage stopped at the stately portico of Erpingham House.

G.o.dolphin felt a little humiliated at being indebted to another--to a woman, for so splendid a tenement; but Constance, not penetrating into this sentiment, hastened up the broad stairs, and said, pointing to a door that led to her boudoir,

"In that room cabinets have been formed and shaken."

G.o.dolphin laughed; he was alive only to the vanity of the boast, because he shared not the enthusiasm; this was Constance's weak point: her dark eye flashed fire.

There's nothing bores a man more than the sort of uneasy quiet that follows a day's journey. G.o.dolphin took his hat, and yawningly stretching himself, nodded to Constance, and moved to the door; they were in her dressing-room at the time.

"Why, what, Percy, you cannot be going out now?"

"Indeed I am, my love."

"Where, in Heaven's name?"

"To White's, to learn the news of the Opera, and the strength of the Ballet."

"I had just rung for lights to show you the house!" said Constance, disappointed, and half-reproachfully.

"Mercy, Constance! damp rooms and east winds together are too much. House, indeed! what can there be worth seeing in your English drawing-rooms after the marble palaces of Italy? Any commands?"

"None!" said Constance, sinking back into her chair, with the tears in her eyes. G.o.dolphin did not perceive them; he was only displeased by the cold tone of her answer, and he shut the door, muttering to himself--"Was there ever such indelicate ostentation!"

"And thus," said Constance, bitterly, "I return to England; friendless, unloved, solitary in my schemes and my heart as I was before. Awake, my soul! thou art my sole strength, my sole support. Weak, weak that I was, to love this man in spite of--Well, well, I am not sunk so low as to regret."

So saying, she wiped away a few tears, and turning with a strong effort from softer thoughts, leaned her cheek on her hand, and gazing on the fire, surrendered herself to the sterner and more plotting meditations which her return to the circle of her old ambition had at first called forth.

Meanwhile G.o.dolphin sauntered into the then arch-club of St. James's, that reservoir of idle exquisites and kid-gloved politicians. There are two cla.s.ses of popular men in London; the sprightly, joyous, good-humoured set; the quiet, gentle, sarcastic herd. The one are fellows called devilish good--the other, fellows called devilish gentleman like. To the latter cla.s.s belonged G.o.dolphin. As he had never written a book, nor set up for a genius, his cleverness was tacitly allowed to be no impediment to his good qualities. Nothing atones for the sin, in the eyes of those young gentlemen who create for their contemporaries reputation, of having in any way distinguished oneself.

"He's such a d--d bore, that man with his books and poetry," said an arch-dandy of Byron, just after Childe Harold had turned the heads of the women. There happened to be a knot a.s.sembled at White's when G.o.dolphin entered; they welcomed him affectionately.

"Wish you joy, old fellow," said one. "Bless me, G.o.dolphin! well, I am delighted to see you," cried another. "So, you have monopolised Lady Erpingham!--lucky dog!" whispered a third.

G.o.dolphin, his vanity soothed by the reception he met with, spent his evening at the Club. The habit begun, became easy--G.o.dolphin spent many evenings at his club. Constance, running the round of her acquaintance, was too proud to complain. Perhaps complaint would not have mended the matter: but one word of delicate tenderness, or one look that asked for his society, and White's would have been forsaken! G.o.dolphin secretly resented the very evenness of temper he had once almost overprized.

"Oh, G.o.dolphin," one evening whispered a young lord, "we sup at the little actress's,--the Millinger; you remember the Millinger? You must come; you are an old favourite, you know: she'll be so glad to see you,--all innocent, by the way: Lady Erpingham need not be jealous--(jealous! Constance jealous of f.a.n.n.y Millinger!) all innocent.

Come, I'll drive you there; my cab is at the door."

"Anything better than a lecture on ambition," thought G.o.dolphin; and he consented. G.o.dolphin's friend was a lively young n.o.bleman, of that good-natured, easy, uncaptious temper, which a clever, susceptible, indolent man often likes better than comrades more intellectual, because he has not to put himself out of his way in the comradeship. Lord Falconer rattled on, as they drove along the brilliant streets, through a thousand topics, of which G.o.dolphin heard as much as he pleased; and Falconer was of that age and those spirits when a listener may be easily dispensed with.

They arrived at a little villa at Brompton: there was a little garden round it, and a little bower in one corner, all kept excessively neat; and the outside of the house had just been painted white from top to bottom; and there was a veranda to the house; and the windows were plate-gla.s.s, with mahogany sashes--only, here and there, a Gothic cas.e.m.e.nt was stuck in by way of looking "tasty;" and through one window on the ground-floor, the lights shining within, showed crimson silk and gilded chairs, and all sorts of finery--Louis Quatorze in a nutsh.e.l.l!

The reader knows the sort of house as well as if he had lived in it.

Ladies of f.a.n.n.y Millinger's turn of mind always choose the same kind of habitation. It is astonishing what a unanimity of taste they have; and young men about town call it "taste" too, and imitate the fashion in their own little tusculums in Chapel street.

After having threaded a Gothic hall four feet by eight and an oval conservatory with a river-G.o.d in the middle, the two visitors found themselves in the presence of f.a.n.n.y Millinger.

G.o.dolphin had certainly felt no small curiosity to see again the frank, fair, laughing face which had shone on his boyhood, and his mind ran busily back to that summer evening when, with a pulse how different from its present languid tenor, and a heart burning with ardour and the pride of novel independence, the young adventurer first sallied on the world.

He drew back involuntarily as he now gazed on the actress: she had kept the promise of her youth, and grown round and full in her proportions.

She was extravagantly dressed, but not with an ungraceful, although a theatrical choice: her fair hands and arms were covered with jewels, and that indescribable air which betrays the stage was far more visibly marked in her deportment than when G.o.dolphin first knew her; yet still there was the same freedom as of old, the same joyousness, and good-humoured carelessness in her manner, and in the silver ring of her voice as she greeted Falconer, and turned to question him as to his friend. G.o.dolphin dropped his cloak, and the next moment, with a pretty scream, quite stage-effect, and yet quite natural, the actress had thrown herself into his arms.

"Oh! but I forgot," said she presently, with a mock salutation of respect, "you are married now; there will be no more cakes and ale.

Ah! what long years since we met; yet I have never quite forgotten you, although the stage requires all one's memory for one's new parts. Alas!

your hair--it was so beautiful, it has lost half its curl, and grown thin. Very rude in me to say so, but I always speak the truth, and my heart warms to see you, so all its thoughts thaw out."

"Well," said Lord Falconer, who had been playing with a little m.u.f.fy sort of dog, "you'll recollect me presently."

"You! Oh! one never thinks of you, except when you speak, and then one recollects you--to look at the clock."

"Very good, f.a.n.n.y--very good, Fan: and when do you expect Windsor?--He ought to be here soon. Tell me, do you like him really?"

"Like him!--yes, excessively; just the word for him--for you all. If love were thrown into the stream of life, my little sail would be upset in an instant. But in truth, what with dressing, and playing, and all the grave business of life, I am not idle enough to love. And oh, G.o.dolphin, I'm so improved! Ask Lord Falconer, if I don't sing like an angel, although my voice is hardly strong enough to go round a loo-table; but on the stage, one learns to dispense with all qualities.

It is a curious thing, that fict.i.tious existence, side by side with the real one! We live in enchantment, Percy, and enjoy what the poets pretend to."

The dreaming G.o.dolphin was struck by the remark. He was surprised, also, to see how much f.a.n.n.y remained the same. A life of gaiety had not debased her.

Tom Windsor came next, an Irishman of five-and-forty, not like his countrymen in aught save wit. Thin, small, shrivelled, but up to his ears in knowledge of the world, and with a jest for ever on his tongue: rich and gay,--he was always popular, and he made the most of his little life without being an absolute rascal. Next dropped in the handsome Frenchman De Damville; next, the young gambler, St. John; next two ladies, both actresses; and the party was complete.

The supper was in keeping with the house; the best wines, excellent viands--the actress had grown rich. Wit, noise, good-humour, anecdote, flashed round with the champagne; and G.o.dolphin, exhilarated into a second youth, fancied himself once more the votary of pleasure.

CHAPTER L.