Gleanings in Graveyards Part 45

On a Dustman.

Beneath yon humble clod, at rest Lies Andrew, who, if not the best, Was not the very worst man; A little rakish, apt to roam; But not so now, he's quite at home, For Andrew was a _Dustman_.

Here lies the body of John Cole, His master loved him like his soul; He could rake hay-none could rake faster, Except that raking dog, his master.

Mr. Langford, Auctioneer.

So, so, Master Langford, the hammer of Death Hath knock'd out your brains, and deprived you of breath; 'Tis but t.i.t for tat, he who puts up the town, By Devil or Death must at last be knock'd down.

On a man named Stone.

Jerusalem's curse was not fulfilled in me, For here a stone upon a Stone you see.

On Thomas Day.

Here lies Thomas Day, Lately removed from over the way.

Epitaph by Burns.

(On a man choked by a piece of bread!)

Here I lie, killed by a crumb, That wouldn't go down, nor wouldn't up come.

On John Treffry, Esq.

Here in this Chancel do I lye, Known by the name of John Treffry.

Being born & made for to die; So must thou, friend, as well as I.

Therefore good works be sure to try, But chiefly love & Charity; And still on them with faith rely, To be happy eternally.

This was put up during his life, who was a whimsical man. He had his grave dug, & lay down and swore in it, to show the s.e.xton a novelty, _i.e._, a man swearing in his grave.

On -- Hatt.

By Death's impartial scythe was mown Poor Hatt-he lies beneath this stone; On him misfortune oft did frown, Yet Hatt ne'er wanted for a crown; When many years of constant wear Had made his beaver somewhat bare, Death saw, and pitying his mishap, Has given him here a good long nap.

Here I, Thomas Wharton, do lie, With Lucifer under my head, And Nelly my wife hard bye, And Nancy as cold as lead.

O, how can I speak without dread Who could my sad fortune abide?

With one devil under my head, And another laid close on each side.

On William Jones, a Bone Collector

Here lie the bones of William Jones, Who when alive collected bones, But Death, that grisly bony spectre, That most amazing bone collector, Has boned poor Jones so snug and tidy, That here he lies in bona fide.

The late Rev. John Sampson, of Kendal.

Sacrum

In memoriam viri doctissimi et clerici, Joannis Sampson, olim hujusce sacelli ministri, itemque ludi literarii apud Congalum triginta septem fere annos magistri seduli; hoc marmor ponendum quidam discipulus praeceptorem merens curavit.

Ob: An: aetatis suae LXXVII; A.D. MDCCCXLIII.

Foris juxta januam e dextra introeunti sepultum est corpus.

Problemata plurima geometrica proposuit ac solvit; ad haec accedunt versus haud pauci, latine et manu sua scripti; quorum exemplum infra insculptum est; adeo ut Christiano tum mentem, tum viri fidem cognoscere liceat.

"a?t? ?f?."

"Quandocunque sophos clarus sua dogmata profert, "Nil valet a?t? ?f?, ni doc.u.menta daret;"

"At mihi c.u.m Christus loquitur, verum, via, vita, "Tum vero fateor sufficit a?t? ?f?."

Epitaph on the Mareschal Comte de Ranzan, a Swede, who accompanied Oxenstiern to Paris, and was taken into the French service by Louis XIII.

He died of hydrophobia in 1650. He had been in innumerable battles, had lost an eye and two limbs, and his body was found to be entirely covered with scars.

Stop, pa.s.senger! this stone below Lies half the body of Ranzan: The other moiety's scattered far And wide o'er many a field of war; For to no land the hero came, On which he shed not blood and fame.

Mangled or maim'd each meaner part, One thing remain'd entire-his heart.

At Arlington, near Paris.

Here lie Two grandmothers, with their two granddaughters Two husbands with their two wives, Two fathers with their two daughters, Two mothers with their two sons, Two maidens with their two mothers, Two sisters with their two brothers.

Yet but six corps in all lie buried here, All born legitimate, & from incest clear.

The above may be thus explained:-

Two widows, that were sisters-in-law, had each a son, who married each other's mother, and by them had each a daughter. Suppose one widow's name Mary, and her son's name John, and the other widow's name Sarah, and her son's James; this answers the fourth line. Then suppose John married Sarah, and had a daughter by her, and James married Mary, and had a daughter also, these marriages answer the first, second, third, fifth, and sixth lines of the epitaph.

Sudden and unexpected was the end Of our esteemed and beloved friend.

He gave to all his friends a sudden shock By one day falling into Sunderland Dock.