Get Shorty Part 6

"What happened?"

"Nothing. He shot the guy and left."

Now Harry paused. Chili Palmer had been sent to him from heaven, no question about it.

"You were running a club?"

"Belonged to Momo. We had entertainment, different groups'd come in; catering mostly to the younger crowd."

Harry had the next question ready.

"You pack a gun?"

Chili hesitated. "Not really."

"What does that mean?"

"Not ordinarily. Maybe a few times I have."

"You ever been arrested?"

"I've been picked up a few times. They'd try to get me on loan-sharking or a RICO violation-you know what I mean? Being in what they call a racketeering kind of activity, but I was never convicted, I'm clean."

"Racketeering, that covers a lot of ground, doesn't it?"

"What do you want to know?"

Harry hesitated. He wasn't sure.

"Why don't you get to the point, Harry? You want me to do something for you, right?"

8.

Here was a man had made forty-nine movies and named a bunch of them earlier, when he was making coffee. Chili remembered having seen quite a few. The one about the roaches-guy turns on the kitchen light, Christ, there's a f.u.c.kin roach in there as big as he is. He had seen some of theGrotesque movies, about the escaped wacko who'd been in a fire and was p.i.s.sed off about it. The one about the giant ticks trying to take over the earth. The one about all the people in this town getting scalped by an Indian who'd been dead over a hundred years, movies, about the escaped wacko who'd been in a fire and was p.i.s.sed off about it. The one about the giant ticks trying to take over the earth. The one about all the people in this town getting scalped by an Indian who'd been dead over a hundred years,Hairraiser ... Forty-nine movies and he looked more like a guy drove a delivery truck or came to fix your air-conditioning when it quit, a guy with a tool kit. When he'd gone over to the range to get the coffee in his shirt and underwear showing his white legs, skinny for a fat guy, he looked like he should be in detox at a booze treatment center. Chili had seen loan customers in this shape, ones that had given up. Harry's mind seemed to be working okay, except all of a sudden he wasn't as talkative as before. ... Forty-nine movies and he looked more like a guy drove a delivery truck or came to fix your air-conditioning when it quit, a guy with a tool kit. When he'd gone over to the range to get the coffee in his shirt and underwear showing his white legs, skinny for a fat guy, he looked like he should be in detox at a booze treatment center. Chili had seen loan customers in this shape, ones that had given up. Harry's mind seemed to be working okay, except all of a sudden he wasn't as talkative as before.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Harry."

Maybe he didn't know how to say it without sounding like a dummy.

"Okay, you want me to help you out in some way," Chili said. "How do I know-outside of your asking me questions here like it's a job interview. I happened to mention-we were in the other room-I said when I came out here I talked to some people and you kept saying 'What people?' having a fit. You remember that? Well, they were a couple lawyers I was put in touch with. I told you I talked to Tommy Carlo ..."

Harry was listening but making a face, trying to understand everything at once.

"What's he got to do with it?"

"I go to your apartment, your office on Sunset, ZigZag Productions, you're not either place and n.o.body knows where you are. So I call Tommy, now in tight with Jimmy Cap, and ask him, see if he can get me a name out here, somebody that knows somebody in the movie business. Tommy calls back, says, 'Frank DePhillips, you're all set.' You ever hear of him?"

Harry shook his head.

"Don't go to sleep on me, okay?"

"I got a headache, that's all. Who's Frank DePhillips?"

"He's to some part of L.A. what Jimmy Cap is to South Miami. But I don't meet with him, he's on a level only talks to certain people. I meet with one of his lawyers down at the courts, criminal division. Young guy, he comes running out of a courtroom loaded down with papers and s.h.i.t, looks at me, says, 'What do you want?' f.u.c.kin lawyers, they're always rushing around the last minute. I remind him Mr. DePhillips set this up, also I happen to represent one of the biggest casinos in Vegas. That gets me about two minutes of his time. He says, 'I'll see what I can do. Gimme a phone number.' I tell him I'll call him, otherwise I'd never hear. Also I don't want him to know I'm staying at this dump on Ventura. Two days later I meet him and another lawyer in a restaurant in a hotel that's j.a.panese. I mean the entire hotel, not just the restaurant, a j.a.panese hotel right in the middle of downtown L.A."

Harry said, "Yeah, the Otani."

"Right by the city hall. These two lawyers eat there all the time. I watch 'em dig into the raw fish, suck up bowls of noodles ... The noodles weren't bad. So this other lawyer gives me addresses and phone numbers, yours and anybody you ever been intimate with on a single sheet of paper. He says, 'You're not the only one looking for old Harry Zimm,' and mentions your investors have been trying to find you for two months. I said, 'Oh, what's the problem?' Guy says, 'It looks like Harry skipped with two hunnerd thousand they put in one of his movies.' "

Harry was shaking his head. He looked worn out.

"That doesn't surprise me. This town loves rumors, everybody knows everything, just ask them. My investors have been trying to find me for two months? I spoke to them, it wasn't more than two weeks ago."

Chili said, "You mention the PistonLakers game?"

Harry said, "Look, these guys came to me originally, I mean before. They already put money in two of my pictures and did okay, they're happy. Which you can't say about most film investors, the ones that want to be in show biz, get to meet movie stars and they find out, Christ, it's a high-risk business."

Harry was easing into it, watching his step.

Chili said, "Yeah? ..."

"These guys already know movie stars, celebrities; they run a limo service. So they come in on another partic.i.p.ation deal-this was back a few months ago when I was planning what would be my next picture. About a band of killer circus freaks that travel around the country leaving bodies in their wake. The characters, there's a seven-hundred-pound fat lady who wouldn't fit through that door, has a way of seducing guys, gets them in her trailer-"

Chili said, "Harry, look at me," and waited to see his watery eyes in the kitchen light, fizzed hair standing up. "You're trying to tell me how you f.u.c.ked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do. Let's get to where you're at, okay? You blew their two hunnerd grand on a basketball game and you haven't told 'em about it. Why not?"

"Because they're not the type of guys," Harry said, "would take it with any degree of understanding or restraint."

"They scare you."

"What'd I just say?"

"I'm not sure. You want to say something to me, Harry, say it, don't beat around the bush."

"Okay, they scare me. I keep thinking the first thing they'd do is break my legs."

"You got that on the brain. What's the second thing?"

"Or they'd have it done-you don't know these guys. They're not exactly financial types."

"Harry, I prob'ly know 'em better than you do. What you're telling me," Chili said, "they got more out on the street than limos. They're dealing, huh? Selling dope to movie stars and using you to launder their dough. Put it in a Harry Zimm production, take it out cleaned and pressed."

Chili waited.

Harry eased back. The chair creaked and that was the only sound.

"You don't know or you don't want to or you're not saying," Chili said. "But from what you tell me, that's what it sounds like."

He smiled, wanting Harry to relax.

"You have my interest aroused. I wouldn't mind knowing more about these guys, if they're real hard-ons or they're giving you a buncha s.h.i.t. Or what their connections are, if they have any. But what I want to know first," Chili said, "is why you took their two hunnerd grand to Vegas, put yourself in that kind of a spot. I mean if you're scared of these guys to begin with ..."

"I had to," Harry said, sounding pretty definite about it. "I've got a chance to put together a deal that'll change my life, make me an overnight success after thirty years in the business. ... But I need a half a million to get it started."

"A movie," Chili said, wanting to be sure.

"A blockbuster of a movie."

"You don't want to ask your limo guys?"

"I don't want them anywhere near it," Harry said. "It's not their kind of deal, it's too big." Harry was hunching over the table again. "See, what happened ... This's at the time I'm gettingFreaks ready for production. I've got a script, but it needs work, get rid of some of the more expensive special effects. So I go see my writer and we discuss revisions. Murray's good, he's been with me, he wrote all my ready for production. I've got a script, but it needs work, get rid of some of the more expensive special effects. So I go see my writer and we discuss revisions. Murray's good, he's been with me, he wrote all myGrotesque pictures, some of the others. He's done I don't know how many TV scripts, hundreds. He's done sitcoms, westerns, sci-fi, did a few pictures, some of the others. He's done I don't know how many TV scripts, hundreds. He's done sitcoms, westerns, sci-fi, did a fewTwilight Zones ... Only now he can't get any TV work 'cause he's around my age and the networks don't like to hire any writers over forty. Murray has kind of a drinking problem, too, that doesn't help. Likes the sauce, smokes four packs a day ... We're talking-get back to what I want to tell you-he happens to mention a script he wrote years ago when he was starting out and never sold. I ask him what it's about. He tells me. It sounds pretty good, so 1 take the script home and read it." Harry paused. "I read it again, just to be sure. My experience, my instinct, my ... Only now he can't get any TV work 'cause he's around my age and the networks don't like to hire any writers over forty. Murray has kind of a drinking problem, too, that doesn't help. Likes the sauce, smokes four packs a day ... We're talking-get back to what I want to tell you-he happens to mention a script he wrote years ago when he was starting out and never sold. I ask him what it's about. He tells me. It sounds pretty good, so 1 take the script home and read it." Harry paused. "I read it again, just to be sure. My experience, my instinct, mygut, tells me I have a property here, that with the right actor in the starring role, I can take to any studio in town and practically write my own deal. This one, I know, is gonna take on heat fast. The next day I call Murray, tell him I'm willing to option the script." tells me I have a property here, that with the right actor in the starring role, I can take to any studio in town and practically write my own deal. This one, I know, is gonna take on heat fast. The next day I call Murray, tell him I'm willing to option the script."

"What's that mean?"

"You pay a certain amount to own the property for a year, take it off the market. It's an option to buy. I paid Murray five hundred against twenty-five thousand if I exercise the option, then another twenty-five at the start of princ.i.p.al photography."

"That doesn't sound like much."

"It's an old script, been shopped around."

"Then why do you think you can get it made?"

"Because on the other hand it's so old it's new. The kid studio execs they have now had just come into the world when Murray wrote it."

"So you don't buy it," Chili said, "till you know you have a deal. Is that right?"

"Or raise the money independently," Harry said, "which is the way I prefer to go. You retain control. But with the actor I have in mind, I know I'm looking at a twenty-million-dollar picture, minimum, and that means going to one of the majors. Otherwise I wouldn't go in a studio to take a leak."

"You're so sure it's a winner," Chili said, "what's the problem?"

"I told you, I need a half a million to get started," Harry said. "See, the guy I want is the kind of star not only can act, he doesn't mind looking bad on the screen. Tight pants and capped teeth won't make it in this one. If I could get Gene Hackman, say, we'd be in preproduction as I speak. But Gene's got something like five pictures lined up he's committed to, I checked."

Chili thought of his all-time favorite. "What about Robert De Niro?"

"Bobby De Niro is possibly the finest actor working today, right up there with Brando. But I don't quite see him for this one."

"Tom Cruise?"

"Wonderful young actor, but that's the problem, he's too young for the part. I'll have to show you my list, the ones I've considered are at least good enough and the right age. Bill Hurt, Dreyfuss, who happens to be hot at the moment, Pacino, Nicholson, Hoffman ... Dustin I saw as a close second choice."

"Yeah? Who's your first?"

"Michael Weir, superstar."

Chili said, "Yeah?" surprised. He said, "Yeah, Michael Weir," nodding then, "he's good, all right. The thing I like about him, he can do just about anything, play a regular person, a weirdo ... He played the mob guy inThe Cyclone that turned snitch?" that turned snitch?"

"One of his best parts," Harry said.

Chili was nodding again. "They shot that in Brooklyn. Yeah, Michael Weir, I like him."

"I'm glad to hear it," Harry said.

"He's a different type than your usual movie star. I think he'd be good," Chili said, even though he didn't know how to picture Michael Weir in this movie, whatever it was about. "Have you talked to him?"

"I took a chance, sent the script to his house." Harry sat back, brushing a hand over his frizzy hair. "I find out he not only read it, he flipped, absolutely loves the part."

"You found out-he didn't tell you himself?"

"Remember my saying I need half a mil? I have to deposit that amount in Michael's name, in a special escrow account before he'll take a meeting with me. This is his f.u.c.king agent. You have to put up earnest money to show you're serious, you're not gonna waste his time."

"That's how it's done, huh? Make sure you can handle it."

"It's how this p.r.i.c.k does it, his agent. He says, 'You know Michael's price is seven million, pay or play.' That means if he signs and for any reason you don't go into production, you still have to pay him the seven mil. You make the picture, it's released, and now he gets ten percent of the gross. Not the net, like everybody else, the f.u.c.king gross. Hey, but who cares? He loves the script."

"How'd you find out?"

"From the guy who's cutting the picture Michael just finished, the film editor. We go way back. In fact, I gave him his start onSlime Creatures. He calls, says Michael was in the cutting room with the director, raving about a script he had with him, He calls, says Michael was in the cutting room with the director, raving about a script he had with him,Mr. Lovejoy, how it's the best part he's read in years. The cutter, the friend of mine, doesn't know it's my property till he notices how it's the best part he's read in years. The cutter, the friend of mine, doesn't know it's my property till he noticesZigZag Productions on the script. He calls me up: 'You're gonna do one with Michael Weir? I don't believe it.' I told him, 'Well, you better, if you want to cut the picture.' I don't know yet who I want as my director. Jewison, maybe. Lumet, Ulu Grosbard ..." on the script. He calls me up: 'You're gonna do one with Michael Weir? I don't believe it.' I told him, 'Well, you better, if you want to cut the picture.' I don't know yet who I want as my director. Jewison, maybe. Lumet, Ulu Grosbard ..."

Chili said, "What's it called,Mr. Lovejoy ?" ?"

"That's Murray's t.i.tle. It's not bad when you know what it's about."

Chili was thinking it sounded like a TV series,Mr. Lovejoy, about this f.a.ggy guy raising a bunch of kids of different nationalities and a lot of that canned laughter. He wondered if they got people to come into a studio, told them to go ahead, laugh, and they recorded it, or if they told them jokes. He remembered a TV program about how movies were made that showed people kissing their hands, the sound of it being recorded to go in a love scene the hand kissers were watching on a screen. Movies were basically fake. The sounds in a fight scene weren't anything like what you heard nailing some guy in the mouth. Like the fight scenes in the about this f.a.ggy guy raising a bunch of kids of different nationalities and a lot of that canned laughter. He wondered if they got people to come into a studio, told them to go ahead, laugh, and they recorded it, or if they told them jokes. He remembered a TV program about how movies were made that showed people kissing their hands, the sound of it being recorded to go in a love scene the hand kissers were watching on a screen. Movies were basically fake. The sounds in a fight scene weren't anything like what you heard nailing some guy in the mouth. Like the fight scenes in theRocky movies, Stallone letting some giant a.s.shole pound him, he'd be dead before the end of round one. But there were good movies too, ones that had the feeling of real life ... movies, Stallone letting some giant a.s.shole pound him, he'd be dead before the end of round one. But there were good movies too, ones that had the feeling of real life ...

Harry was saying once he had a development deal at a studio, that would satisfy Mesas, they'd quit bothering him. Harry saying now if he could get to Michael Weir through Karen he wouldn't need to raise the half a mil ...

Wait a minute. "What?"

"You knew she was married to Michael at one time."

"Karen? No ..."

"Four years, no kids. This is the house they lived in till Michael walked out on her."

"No, I didn't know that," Chili said. "So you want her to call him, set up a meeting?"

"That's all-put in a good word."

"They get along okay?"

"They never see each other. But he'd do it, I know."

"Then what's the problem? She won't ask him?"