George Washington's Rules of Civility Part 5

43d. Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Pa.s.sion will aggravate his Misery

Hawkins ii. 23. Do not thou expresse joy before one sick, or in paine; for that contrary pa.s.sion, will aggravate his misery. But do thou rather sympathize his infirmityes, for that will afford a gratefull eas.e.m.e.nt, by a seeming partic.i.p.ation.

44th. When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

Chapter iv. 3. Celui qui fait tout ce qui luy est possible, pour auancer vostre affaire, quoy qu'il ne la meine pas, & n'en puisse auoir le succez cme vous l'esperez, ne doit point entendre de reprimde; puis qu'il est plus digne de louange que de blame.

The man who does all he can to advance your business, even though he should not bring it about, and may not be able to obtain the success you hoped for, ought not to hear reproaches, since he is more worthy of praise than of blame.

[Sidenote: Hawkins has only 'sweetness,' Washington being here closer to the French.]

45th. Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no signs of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness

Chapter iv. 4. Si vous auez a exhorter ou reprendre quelqu'vn, prenez bien garde, s'il est plus a propos de le faire en particulier ou en public, en ce temps ou en vn autre, bien plus, quelles paroles vous y deuez employer: Et particulierement lors que quelqu'vn ayt este desia reprimde d'autres fois, ne se corrige point des fautes pa.s.sees, & ne promet point d'amandement. Et soit que vous donniez quelques auis, ou que vous fa.s.siez quelque reprimande, donnez-vous de garde de vous mettre en cholere, au contraire pratiquez ces actions auec moderation & douceur.

If you have to exhort or to reproach any one, consider whether it be better to do so in private or in public; at this time or another and, above all, what words you should use: and particularly when some one having been already reprimanded at other times does not correct himself of his past faults, and does not promise any amendment. And if you give any advice, or impart any reprimand, carefully avoid anger; on the contrary, do such acts with moderation and sweetness.

46th. Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time or Place Convenient to let him know it that gave them.

Chapter iv. 5. Aussi quiconque se donnera la peine de vous remonstrer de quelque fac, en quelque lieu, & en quelque temps qu'il le fa.s.se, qu'il soit ecoute de vostre part auec beaucoup de ressentiment de bienueillance & de reconnoissance. Et apres cela, si vous vous sentez innocent, & qu'il vous semble a propos de vous prouuer tel, il vous sera bien permis de le faire; mais auec ce soin de predre bien vostre temps, & pl.u.s.tost pour luy en faire voir la verite, & le tirer de peine, & plus si vous estes en sa charge, ou si vous releuez de son pouuoir, que pour vous appuyer de quelque excuse.

Also when any one takes the trouble to rebuke you, no matter how, where, or when he does it, hear him for your part with much feeling of goodwill and acknowledgment. And after that, if innocent, and it seems right to prove yourself so, you will be quite at liberty to do so; being careful, however, to choose a proper time, and rather to make him see the truth, and relieve him from anxiety,--the more if you are in his charge or depend on his authority--than to defend yourself with some excuse.

[4]7th. Mock not nor Jest at anything of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting, and if you Deliver anything witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.

Chapter iv. 7. Ne vous amusez point aux equiuoques ny en matiere importante, ny en choses honteuses. Si vous trouuez bon de railler, gardez vous bien de mordre, & bien plus de dechirer comme un chien.

Que les bons-mots & les rencontres soient tirees du suiet, que les vns & les autres ayent leur gentillesse & leur pointe, sans attirer l'indignation de personne. Que les plaisanteries ne soient point comme celles des bouffons, qui font rire par des representations extrauagantes, & des actions deshonnestes: si vous rencontrez ioliment, si vous donnez quelque bon-mot, en faisant rire les autres, empeschez-vous-en, le plus qu'il vous sera possible.

Do not divert yourself with _equivoques_, either in important or in mean matters. If you find good occasion for a joke, be careful not to bite, still less to tear, like a dog. Witticisms and repartee should be to the point, and should have elegance and appropriateness without exciting the indignation of any. Do not let your pleasantries degenerate into those of buffoons, who raise laughter by extravagant representations and indecent action. If you are clever in repartee, if you say a good thing, manage if possible, in making others laugh, to abstain from it yourself.

48th. Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is is more prevalent than Precepts

Hawkins iii. 8. Be sure thy conversation be in that poynt vertuous, wherein thou art desirous to retaine another, least thy Actions render thy advice unprofitable. Since the ratification of any advice is the serious prosecution of that vertue. For example hath ever been more prevalent than precept.

49th. Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile

Hawkins iii. 11. Use no reproachfull language against any man, nor Curse, or Revile. For improperations and imprecations will rather betray thy affections than in any manner, hurt him against whom thou utters them.

[5]0th. Be not hasty to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of any

Hawkins iii. 10. Thou oughtest not too suddenly to believe a flying Rumour of a friend, or any other. But let charity guid thy judgment, untill more certainty: for by this meanes thou securest his Reputation, and frees thy self of rashness.

51st. Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleanness

Chapter v. 4. Que vos habits ne demeurent point sales, dechirez, couuerts de poussiere, ou pelez. Qu'ils soient tous les iours du moins vne fois nettoyez auec les epoussettes. Et prenez bien garde aussi en quel lieu vous vous a.s.soirez, ou vous vous mettrez a genoux, ou vous vous accouderez, que le lieu ne soit point malpropre, ny reply d'immondices. Ne portez point le manteau sur le bras, a l'imitation des Fanfarons. Et mettant bas ou vostre robbe, ou votre mteau, pliez les bien proprement & adroitement, & prenez bien garde ou vous les posez.

Do not let your clothes be dirty, torn, covered with dust or threadbare. Have them brushed at least once a day. And take care also in what place you sit down, or kneel, or rest your elbows, that it be not unfit or filthy. Do not carry your cloak over your arm after the manner of swaggerers. And when you take off your coat or cloak, fold them neatly and carefully, and take care where you put them.

[Sidenote: 'Accomodate nature' is a phrase from a precept in Hawkins concerning apparel.]

52nd. In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places

Chapter v. 5. Choisissez tousiours des habits semblables a ceux de vos compagnons qui pa.s.sent pour les plus honnestes & moderez, en considerant les lieux & les temps auec discretion: & outre cela, faites qu'en ce poinct vous paroissiez souhaitter d'estre vestu le plus simplement & modestement de tous vos egaux, bien pl.u.s.tost que d'affecter les plus beaux vestements.

Always choose clothes like those of your companions who pa.s.s for the most genteel and moderate, in discreet consideration of time and place: and more, make it a point to be the most simply and modestly dressed of all your equals, rather than to affect the finest raiment.

53d. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking y'r Arms [stamping, or shuffling; nor pull up your stockings in the street. Walk] not upon the toes, nor in a Dancing [or skipping manner, nor yet with measured steps. Strike not the heels together, nor stoop when there is no occasion]

Chapter vi. 1. Faites en sorte quand vous marchez, de ne pas faire des demarches precipitees, d'auoir la bouche ouuerte & comme beante, & de ne vous trop demener le corps, ou le pancher, ou laisser vos mains pendantes, ou remuer & secouer les bras; sans frapper trop rudement la terre, ou letter a vos pieds de part & d'autre. Cette sorte d'action demande encore ces conditions, que l'on ne s'arreste pas a retirer ses chausses en haut, dans le chemin, que l'on ne marche sur les extremitez des pieds, ny en sautillant ou s'eleuant, comme il se pratique en la dance, que l'on ne courbe point le corps, que l'on ne baisse point la teste, qne l'on n'auance point a pas cptez, que l'on ne se choque point les talons l'un contre l'autre en entrant dans l'Eglise, que l'on ne reste point teste nue a la sortie. Si la deuotion n'y oblige, comme lors qu'il est question d'accompagner le Tres-sainct Sacrement.

In walking guard against hurried steps, or having your mouth open and gaping; and do not move your body too much, or stoop, or let your hands hang down, or move and shake your arms; walk without striking the ground too hard or throwing your feet this way and that. That sort of action also demands these conditions,--not to stop to pull up one's stockings in the street, not to walk on the toes, or in a skipping rising as in dancing; do not stoop, nor bend the head; do not advance with measured steps; do not strike the heels against each other on entering church, nor leave it bareheaded, unless devotion requires it, as in accompanying the Holy Sacrament.

54th. Play not the Peac.o.c.k, looking everywhere about you, to See if you be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings Sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

Chapter vi. 2. Ne vous amusez pas a vous quarer comme vn Paon, & regarder superbement autour de vous, si vous estes bien mis, & bien chausse, si vos hauts-dechausses & vos autres habits vous sont bienfaits. Ne sortez point de vostre chbre, portant vostre plume a vostre bouche, ou sur vostre aureille. Ne vous amusez pas a mettre des fleurs a vos aureilles, a vostre bonnet, ou a vostre chappeau.

Ne tenez point vostre mouchoir a la main, ou pendu a vostre bouche, ny a vostre ceinture, ny sous vostre aiselle, ny sur vostre espaule, ou cache sous vostre robbe. Mettez-le en lieu d'ou il ne puisse etre veu, & il puisse estre toutesfois cmodement tire, dez qu'il en sera besoin. Ne le presentez iamais a personne, s'il n'est tout blanc, ou presque pas deploye.

Do not delight in strutting like a peac.o.c.k, or look proudly around to see if you are well decked, if your breeches and other clothes fit well. Do not leave your room carrying your pen in your mouth or behind your ear. Do not indulge yourself by putting flowers in your ears, cap, or hat. Do not hold your pocket-handkerchief in your hand, hanging from your mouth, at your girdle, under your armpit, on your shoulder, or stuffed under your coat. Put it in some place where it cannot be seen, but from whence you may easily draw it when you want it. Never offer it to anybody unless it be quite clean, or hardly unfolded.

55th. Eat not in the Streets, nor in ye House, out of Season.

Chapter vi. 3. Ne marchez jamais par les chemins, en mangeant, soil seul ou en compagnie, & particulierement parmy la foule de la ville. Ne vous mettez pas mesme a manger en la maison hors de temps du repas, & du moins abstenez vous en, quand il s'y rencontrera quelqu'vn.

Never walk on the roads eating, whether alone or in company, especially amid the crowd in a town. Do not set to eating even in the house out of meal-times; at least abstain from it in the presence of others.

56th. a.s.sociate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.

Chapter vi. 5. Et si, vous voulez pa.s.ser pour honneste, accostez vous tousiours des Gents-de-bien, si vous n'en trouuez pas la commodite, ou par ce que vous n'en connoissez point, ou pour quelqu'autre raison, il vaut tousiours mieux que vous alliez seul, qu'en mauuaise compagnie.

If you wish to pa.s.s as genteel, always go with well-bred people; if you cannot get the chance,--from not knowing any, or any other reason,--it is always better to go alone than in bad company.

57th. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, it he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Jowl but Somewhat behind him; but yet in such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

[Sidenote: The repet.i.tion of the feminine "Elle" refers to 'vne personne,' in the first line, although the masculine ('qu'il' and 's'il') has twice followed it. There is no allusion to the female s.e.x in the French Maxims.]