George Washington's Rules of Civility Part 4

In meeting those to whom you should shew respect beyond the salutations which are their due, you should stop a little, or retreat to a threshold, or to the corner of the street, so as to make way for them.

30th. In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the middle Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.

Chapter iii. 7. S'il arriue que vous faciez la promenade auec eux, vous leur laisserez tousiours la place honorable, qui est celle qui sera marquee par l'vsage. A parler generalement, il semble que plusieurs Nations ont pa.s.se en coustume que la droite soit tenue pour vne marque de reuerence, de telle soit, que quand quelq'vn veut deferer a un autre, il le mette a sa droicte, en prenant sa gauche. Lors que trois hommes se promenent ensemble, le plus qualifie a tousiours le milieu: Celuy qui tient la droite, a le second lieu, & l'autre qui reste a la gauche, n'a que le troisieme.

Mais en France, quand l'on se promene au long d'vn mur; par ce que ce lieu est presque toujours plus eleue & plus net a cause de sa pente, la coutume porte presque par tout qu'elle soit laissee au plus qualifie, & particulierement quand deux personnes marchent ensemble.

If you happen to take a walk with them, always give them the place of honour, which is that pointed out by usage. To speak generally, it appears that several nations have made it a custom that the right should always be held as a mark of esteem, so that, when any one wishes to honour another, he will put him on his right, himself taking the left. When three are walking together, he of the highest quality always has the middle: he who takes the right has the second place, and the other who remains on the left has the third.

But in France, when walking by the side of a wall, that place being almost always higher and cleaner because of the slope, the custom almost always is that it be yielded to the man of the highest quality, and particularly when two are walking together.

31st. If any one far Surpa.s.ses others, either in age Estate, or Merit [yet, in any particular instance,] would give Place to a meaner than himself [in his own house or elsewhere] the one ought not to except it, So [the other, for fear of making him appear uncivil, ought not to press] it above once or twice.

Chapter iii. 9. Si celuy qui se trouuera beaucoup plus avance en age, ou auantage en dignite, soit en sa maison ou en quelqu'autre lieu, veut honorer son inferieur, comme il n'est pas a propos que cet inferieur s'en estime digne, de mesme aussi ne faut-il pas que celuy qui est superieur, l'en presse auec trop de soin, ou luy temoigne sa deference plus d'vne ou deux fois, de crainte que l'a.s.siduite de sa supplication reteree ne rabatte quelque chose de la bonne opinion que celuy qui le refuse, avoit conceu de son addresse & de sa courtoisie, ou qu'il luy fa.s.se commettre enfin une inciuilite.

If he who is much the older, or has the advantage of rank, wishes, in his house or elsewhere, to honour his inferior, as it is not fitting that such inferior should think himself worthy, so also the superior must not press him too much or show such deference more than once or twice, lest the a.s.siduity of his reiterated requests lower somewhat the good opinion which he who refuses, had conceived of his tact and courtesy, or lest, at last, it cause him to be guilty of some incivility.

32d. To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the chief Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness

Chapter iii. 10. Mais entre les egaux, il est bien a propos en receuant quelqu'vn dans sa maison, de luy donner la place la plus honnorable. Et celuy a qui l'on fait un s bon accueil, en doit faire quelque refus d'abord, mais a la seconde instance de son amy, il luy doit obeyr.

[Sidenote: Maxim iii. 8, which says that acceptance of a first place should be accompanied by an acknowledgement of unworthiness, is represented in the last words of Rule 32.]

But amongst equals, it is quite right, in receiving any one into one's house, to give him the most honourable place; and the person to whom one accords such a good reception ought at first rather to refuse it, but, when his friend insists a second time, he ought to obey him.

33d. They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.

Chapter iii. 12. A ceux qui out le cmandement, & qui sont dans le pouuoir, ou qui exercent les Charges de Judicature, l'on donne tousiours les premieres places en toute sorte de compagnie. Mais qu'ils scachent eux-mesmes que s'ils sont jeunes, ils sont obligez de respecter ceux qui sont d'aussi n.o.ble maison qu'eux, on qui les deuancent de beaucoup en age, & sont honorez du degre de Doctorat; quoy qu'ils n'exercent aucune charge publique; Et bien plus, ils leur doiuent d'abord remettre la premiere place qu'il leur auoient defere, & en suitte auec modestie, receuoir cest honneur comme une grace.

[Sidenote: The second clause is not in the French Maxims.]

In every company the first place is always given to those in command, or in power, or who exercise judicial charges. But these, if young, should realise that they ought to respect those who belong to houses as n.o.ble as their own, or who are much older, and those honoured with the degree of Doctor, though not exercising any public function; and moreover they ought, at first, to return an offer of the highest place, and afterwards receive that honour modestly, as a favour.

34th. It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.

Chapter iii. 13. Il est de la derniere ciuilite de parler tousiours mieux de ceux auec qui nous avons a conuerser, que de vous mesmes: Et particulieremet qud ce sont des personnes eleuees audessus de nous, auec qui il ne faut iamais contester en aucune maniere.

[Sidenote: Compare the last clause of this Maxim with Rule 40.]

It is the height of politeness always to speak better of those with whom we have to converse than of ourselves. And particularly when they are persons of a superior rank to ourselves, with whom we ought never to dispute in any fashion.

35th. Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

Chapter iii. 15. Le temps & le lieu, l'age & la difference des personnes doivent regler tout cet vsage de compliments qui se fait parmy les plus polis, & particulierement ceux qui consistent dans les paroles. Mais l'on doit trancher court auec les personnes affairees & ne leur presenter plus aux nez toutes ses agreables fleurettes: il les faut epargner, & se faire entendre pl.u.s.tost par mines, qu'auec des paroles.

Time and place, age and the difference between persons, ought to regulate the whole custom of compliments as is done amongst the most polite, especially compliments that consist in words. But one should cut matters short with men of business, and not put one's fine flowerets under their nose; one should spare them, and make himself understood rather by looks than words.

36th. Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy

Chapter iii. 16. Comme le soin de la ciuilite la plus raffinee ne doit pas beaucoup trauailler les esprits des Artisants & de la lie du peuple enuers les Grands & les Magistrats; aussi est-il raisonnable qu'ils ayent soin de leur rendre de l'honneur: de mesme il est a propos que la n.o.blesse les traitte [_sic_] doucement & les epargne, & qu'elle euite toute sorte de superbe.

As the care for the most refined politeness ought not to trouble much the minds of artizans and of the dregs of the people, as regards n.o.bles and Magistrates, while it is reasonable that they should take care to honour such, so it is also right that the n.o.bility should treat them gently, spare them, and avoid all manner of arrogance.

37th. In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

Chapter iii. 18. En parlant aux personnes qualifiees, ne vous appuyez point le corps; ne leuez point vos yeux iusques sur leur visage; ne vous en approchez pas trop pres, & faites en sorte que ce ne soit iamais qu'a vn grd pas de distance.

In speaking to persons of quality, do not lean your body on any thing; do not raise your eyes to their face; do not go too near, and manage to keep a full step from them.

38th. In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.

Chapter iii. 19. Qud vous visiterez quelque malade, ne faites pas aussi-tost le Medicin, si vous n'estes point experimente en cette science.

When you go to see any sick person do not immediately act the physician if you are not experienced in that science.

39th. In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due t.i.tle According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

Chapter iii. 20. Lors que vous addresserez des lettres a des personnes qui seront dans l'estime publique; vous vous gouuernerez aupres d'eux, selon la coustume du pays & le degre de leur dignite.

Quand vous aurez acheue vos lettres, relisez-les, pour en oster les fautes; mettez de la poudre sur l'escriture, lors qu'il en sera besoin & ne pliez iamais vostre papier que les characteres ne soient bien desechez, de crainte qu'ils ne s'effacent.

In addressing letters to persons held in public esteem, you will be regulated by the Customs of the country and the degree of their dignity. When you have finished your letters, read them over again so as to correct mistakes; sand the writing, when necessary, and never fold your paper until the letters are quite dry, lest they be effaced.

40th. Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty

Hawkins ii. 20. Strive not with thy Superiours, in argument or discourse, but alwayes submit thy opinion to their riper judgment, with modesty; since the possibility of Erring, doth rather accompany greene than gray hairs.

41st. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it flavours of arrogancy.

Hawkins ii. 21. Doe not undertake to teach thy equal, in the Art himself professeth, for that will savour of Arrogancy, and serve for little other than to brand thy judgment with Rashnesse.

_(Nothing has been found in the French Maxims resembling Rule 41.

Walker has the following: "Cautious also must be he who discourseth even of that he understands amongst persons of that profession: an affectation that more Scholars than wise men are guilty of; I mean to discourse with every man in his own faculty; except it be by asking questions and seeming to learn" (p. 266))._

[42d. Let your ceremonies in] curtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place [with whom you converse; it is absurd to ac]t ye same with a Clown and a Prince.

Hawkins ii. 22. Let thy Seremonyes in Courtesy be proper to the dignity and place, of him with whom thou conversest. For it is absurd to honour a Clown with words courtly and of magnificence.