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Snowflakes flew across the skies. Beneath the immense roar of the river, she struggled to stop herself from sinking. She hoped to latch on to something, anything. She needed to be able to breath freely again. Unfortunately, all she felt was the piercing cold of the water. The water felt like ice cold needles attacking her, piercing her heart. The pain was overwhelming. So painful, the pain could've killed her. Lam Can Dung laughed as she sank further.
It didn't matter how hard she tried, it was destined. But she should not have died. Le Chi also didn't deserve to die. If not for that ungrateful person abandoning her, if not for that person leaving without turning back, she would not have ended up here, not being able to handle the humiliation and jumping into the river to commit suicide. She does not understand how the sincerity and care she showed towards those people only caused her to be thrown away?
A flower petal falls in front of her. Her vision was completely black. She was too lazy to move her fingers. In her fright, she heard someone call her name. Even so, she was still too lazy to open her eyes to see. Who would be there? It was just an illusion. Even that person would ignore her, who else would care if she were alive or dead?
Lam Can Dung awakened from a nightmare. Cold sweat flowed, soaking her clothes. She desperately hugged herself, shielding her body from the cold. As if she wanted to retrieve all the air she had lost from earlier, she took one deep breath after another. She took more than 10 deep breathes. It was then that she realized that she was still laying on a bed carved with flowers at her mother's house. It was all just a nightmare. She is still alive. She collapsed on the bed, holding her chest and feeling the strong heart beat there.
…Her heart never stopped. She reminded herself: She is still alive. She woke up at an earlier age; the events haven't happened. She still had a chance.
"Young Miss, you had another nightmare?" Nurse Que mama consciously placed the lamp in her hands on the table. Using the light of the moon as a guide, she carefully ignited the candle. Then, she looked at Lam Can Dung.
Within the darkness, Lam Can Dung's eyes twinkled as it reflected the light. Her face still held traces of panic. Cold sweat still dotted her forehead. The black hair glued to her face with sweat highlighted the fairness of her face, making it seem even more white.
Even though Que mama didn't hear a reply, she knew that her young lady just had a nightmare. She gave a long sigh, took her sleeve to wipe the young miss's forehead, and habitually went to get the young miss a change of clothes.
She told the maid dazed outside: "Le Chi start a fire, heat some water, and bring it here so that the young miss can get cleaned up. Her entire body is wet."
The servant girl Le Chi immediately followed the orders. Some time later, she brought in warm water and filled a copper basin. She brought a towel to help Que mama wipe down Lam Can Dung and change clothes.
Lam Can Dung sat up and allowed the two to wash her body. The towel was warm to the touch, extremely comfortable. She felt much more refreshed. Gradually, she stopped trembling and her erratic heart beat stabilized.
One the one hand, Que mama helped the young miss clean up the sweat. On the other, she worriedly asked: "Young Miss, what did you dream of just now? Letting it scare you to such a degree, so pitiful."
Lam Can Dung's lips flushed with a bit of color. It was more than half a day before she whispered: "Tonight don't talk about nightmares anymore."
Le Chi and Que mama exchange a look and saw the reluctance and desperation in each other's eyes. Le Chi lowered her head and helped Lam Can Dung tie the sash for her under clothes.
She giggled and said: "Young Miss let Que mama tell you stories of the past."
She was scared that Lam Can Dung was scared, having just had a nightmare. She wanted Que mama to conveniently stay the night and sleep with the young miss.
Unfortunately, Lam Can Dung paid a lot of attention to face. The family rules of the Lam Family is very strict. Since she was four years old, her wet nurse hadn't been allowed to sleep with her. That was why the servant had to make her suggestion in such a round about way.
Lam Can Dung looked at Le Chi with a complicated expression. Le Chi was older than her by two years, dressed in a restrained way, elegant and attentive, and very beautiful. Lam Can Dung remembered that Le Chi was with her since the beginning. The servant girl was a not only a servant, but also a friend. Later, everyone left her. Only Le Chi stayed with until her death. If not for Le Chi, she wouldn't even get the chance to commit suicide to escape from the humiliation.
Le Chi giggled as she saw Lam Can Dung stare at her with such intensity. She touched her cheeks and then waved a hand in front of Lam Can Dung. She said: "Fourth Young Miss, what are you looking at? Are you still dreaming? You don't recognize this servant girl?"
The girls of the Lam family are counted based on the entire family as a whole. Lam Can Dung was a daughter of the Third Household of the Lam family, but since she was the fourth born overall, based on order, she is called Fourth Young Miss.
How did Lam Can Dung not realize? She remembered very clearly. Le Chi, Lam Can Dung will treat you well. In this life, she won't let you suffer like that again. Lam Can Dung retrieved her gaze, a lazy smile curving her lips. She laid back down on the bed, hair scattered across her pillow. Softly, she said: "Tomorrow is grandmother's birthday. Everyone has a job. Don't be careless. Go to sleep. Just leave me a light. That is enough."
Que mama and Le Chi were both worried. They exchanged a look. Que mama said: "Young Miss, you…" After Fourth Young Miss got sick half a month ago, at night she always got nightmares that tore screams from her. The only solution was light. Que mama thought she would slowly get better. That was why Third Madame had all the lights put out before bedtime. But now, the young miss immediately had a nightmare.
Lam Can Dung was tired and closed her eyes. "I am no longer young. I know how to take care of myself."
Though she was only 12 years old, but she was no longer a maiden. Que mama, with no other choice, left her a light and released the curtains of the bed. With delicate and careful movements. Que mama and Le Chi left the room.
Once the door is closed, Que mama softly said: "Just leaving like this isn't a solution. Her nightmares are getting worst. She doesn't have any energy. I think she is too scared. We need to report to Third Madame. There has to be another way." Finished, she sighed and dejectedly added: "Second Madame is really too much. She did something so immoral and doesn't even know to be a bit more discreet, making our young miss scared."
Lam Can Dung's eyelids twitched.
Que mama was talking about the Fourth Young Lord of the Second Household. Her fourth older cousin impregnated the Second Madame's head servant girl. Second Madame interned to use a bowl of medicine to erase the baby. When everything was being cleaned up, Lam Can Dung coincidently saw everything. They threatened her, making sure she wouldn't spread what she saw out. Because of this, she was scared for almost a month. At this time, she had recovered a bit. But at this moment, how could she be afraid because of this sort of thing? This sort of thing, in comparison to what she experience later, is not much at all. She had seen first hand what is meant to treat a person's life like gra.s.s and garbage.
Le Chi sighed: "Madame is also having a hard time. Third Lord doesn't care."
Lam Can Dung's father is the third son of the Lam family, Tan Tien. Fourth Young Miss was frightened to this level, but he merely visited her out of obligation twice. Third Madame, Dao thi, has a stubborn and unbendable personality. She didn't understand to bend her head and persevere; there are things that which she did not understand needed a softer hand. The two spouses are always at odds. Up until now, when the two was in the same room, they would merely speak 10 or so words with each other. Because of this particular problem, the couple have argued and struggled against each other for half a month without actually using words.
Que mama let out a heavy sigh. After a pause, her spirits slightly lifted. She spoke to Le Chi: "I heard that Co Madame will also return tomorrow." Her tone carried a hint of schadenfreude. "You say, a lot of years have pa.s.sed. Who knows how that boy she adopted has turned out? When he was adopted, he was already a bit too old."
"Even if he was too old, he is still a young master. They had already been gone for 6 to 7 years. As long as Co Madame is good to him, he will naturally understand her sincerity and there shouldn't be anything unexpected happening." Le Chi replied.
"No, Luc Giam will never forget. In his heart, there is only his birth parents and himself. There is no room for outsiders." Lam Can Dung, who had been silent up until now, spoke.
Just thinking about Luc Giam caused an unpleasant feeling to emerge within Lam Can Dung's heart. She tried her hardet to think of something else; she didn't want to think of him. She peered through the fire across the way; the candle sat in a green enamel saucer on the table, half new and half old. Trying her hardest to think, she sometimes thought of the the more elaborate lamps used in the old house: bronze lamps, red candles. It was when the patriarch had made a name for himself. But her own father was never famous. Though he did rank in the imperial exam, he was not first (tien si). Even more, he didn't know how to do business. The only thing he knew was to be carefree and unrestrained. The type to feel the breeze and admire the moon. In the house, things only left with nothing trickling in. He had a lot of siblings, but none had talent. After a few generations, with the exception of the Old Master and Old Madame, everyone could just use this type of green enamel saucer. It was only worth half of the bronze lamps.
She sighed: the later generations is not as good as the previous generations. So at that time, when she received that marriage, all of the sisters and cousins were envious. Her eyes bright; she had thought it was a good marriage. Predestined marriage… Why was she thinking about this? She laughed at herself. Without being self-conscious, she shook her head back and forth. If she didn't remember incorrectly, tomorrow Luc Giam will also arrive. It was the first time they met after they grew up. Tomorrow…Suddenly, Lam Can Dung's heart felt a bit uncomfortable, biting her lips until she felt a bit of pain.
Though she was filled with a lot of concern, she was exhausted. As she stared at the flame, it became blurry and indistinct. The flame drifted further and further away. Gradually, she was dragged under, into the realm of dreams. At this point, her sleep was deep and tranquil.
The sun rose halfway across the sky. Someone, gently and softly, pushed open the wooden door carved with flowers. The person filled a bronze tub next to the window with hot water. Next, the person came before the bed, lifted the curtain, and lightly touched the rosy face of Lam Can Dung, still intoxicated with sleep.
Lam Can Dung startled awake and eyed the mischievous face of the person before her. A trace of impatience and sarcasm flashed in the depths of her eyes. Her lips curved up into a beautiful smile: "Que Vien."
The servant girl Que Vien was Que mama's daughter. Lam Can Dung and this servant girl was both raised up by Que mama. They had been friends since childhood. Their relationship was much closer than the one Lam Can Dung had with Le Chi. That was why the att.i.tude Que Vien showed Lam Can Dung was extremely intimate, more than a normal servant and master relationship. She had always thought about Que Vien's future, but this led to this servant girl turning greedy and ungrateful.