Funny Little Socks Part 5

MISS MORRIS. Oh, my eye! my eye! it's _sich_ a pain!

MR. MONTAGUE. Toby, bring some water this minute.

TOBY. (_Minnie brings him in with a pitcher._) Here, ma.s.sa, here de water. My! see de ole woman wid her eye out! ha! ha!

MRS. M. Toby, put down that water, and go 'way.

Minnie accordingly made believe that Toby was pouring water right on the floor; then she turned the pitcher upside down in his hand, and spoke for him.

TOBY. Dere de water, missis.

MRS. M. Oh! it's all over the carpet! How dare you, Toby?

TOBY. Why, missis, you _told_ me to put down de _water_!

MRS. M. Oh, I shall go distracted!

MR. MORRIS. Come, sister, I 'spect you'd better go home and send for Doctor b.u.mpstead! Maybe he can fish up your eyes again, and stick them in right side out. A--h! good-by, Miss Isabella, good-by, Mrs. Montague!

ALL THE DOLLS IN CHORUS. Good-by, a--h!

"Oh! did ever anybody have such a funny play before!" cried Lina, fairly dropping Miss Morris, and clapping her hands with delight. "I mean always to play in this way."

"Yes, it is so nice!" said Minnie. "But, come, Lina, how shall we dress Miss Isabella to get married?"

"Oh, she has a wedding-dress all ready," replied Lina; "white silk with lace over."

"Splendid!" cried both the sisters.

"Now, if Mr. Morris could only have a plain suit, he would look so much more like a bridegroom."

"Well, perhaps sister will make him one," said Lina; "but what shall we do with poor Miss Morris?"

The recollection of Miss Morris's mishap set them off again laughing; and finally they decided that she might come to the wedding, but must keep her handkerchief to her eyes all the time, as if she were quite overcome by having her brother married; as well she might be, for how would her two holes instead of eyes compare with Miss Isabella Belmont Montague's charms?

This point settled, Lina and her little visitors were just beginning to review the other dolls, to see who would look best at the wedding, when a knock came at the door, and in walked Mary, Lina's nurse, to say that Minnie and Maggie were sent for!

"Oh, what a pity!" cried Lina. "I wish you could stay all day, and all night, and all the rest of the time. It's too bad!"

"Oh, that the afternoons were forty-'leven times as long!" said Maggie.

"Well, we must go, I suppose. Good-by, Lina; we'll come Monday afternoon, if mamma will let us; and finish the play."

So the children kissed each other, and Minnie and Maggie were bundled up in their warm coats and hoods, and went home. As soon as they were gone, Lina ran to her sister Alice with Mr. Morris, and begged her to make him a suit of black to get married in, as Miss Isabella had expressed her preference for that style of dress. Alice kindly promised she would, and that very evening she hunted up some black cloth that was left from a cloak of her mother's, and in a few hours Mr. Morris was rigged out in the last style of fashion. Here is his carte de visite, taken in his wedding clothes. You see, the photograph man left his own hat on the table by mistake; doesn't it look funny?

[Ill.u.s.tration: Portrait of Mr. Morris.]

It was past Lina's bedtime before Mr. Morris was completely dressed; but she was allowed to sit up "just this once," and when he was finished, she kissed Alice a great many times, carried him off in triumph, and shut him up tight in a box, for fear his clothes should get tumbled.

Monday afternoon, Minnie and Maggie came again, bringing with them a dear little wax doll of Minnie's, and a great paper of sugar-plums, to "play party" with. When Mr. Morris had been sufficiently admired in his new clothes, the children collected the other dolls, and put the Montague family in their house again. Mr. Montague was left all alone in the parlor to receive the company, and the ladies were up stairs in the front bed room. Miss Isabella's wedding dress was spread out on the elegant French bed, all ready for her to wear; and as it is a well-known fact that a fashionable lady cannot possibly get dressed in less than three hours, the time was put at nine o'clock, as the wedding would take place at twelve.

Lina then began the play:

MRS. MONTAGUE. Come, my dear, it is time for you to dress; you've only got three hours to get all ready in.

MISS ISABELLA. Yes, mamma, I am putting on my shoes now. (That is, Maggie was putting them on.) Oh, dear! they are a great deal too tight!

they hurt me _dreadfully_. Please let me take them off.

MRS. M. No, they are not; they are a beautiful fit; don't be silly, Isabella.

ISABELLA. I think you are real mean! There, they are on; now I must put on my dress.

Here Maggie made her stand up, and Lina put on her dress and fastened it.

ISABELLA. Oh, my! what a beautiful dress! Can't I keep it on all the time, mamma?

MRS. M. Why, no; of course not! This is your wedding dress.

ISABELLA. Well, then, I mean to get married over again next year, so I can wear it some more.

MRS. M. Now I must put on your veil, my dear, and then you will be all ready.

Here Maggie clapped her hands to express Miss Isabella's joy, while Lina put on the veil.

ISABELLA. Oh, how pretty I look!

MRS. M. Don't be vain, Isabella. There, you are dressed; sit down now, while I get ready.

So Miss Isabella sat down with her new frock sticking out all around her, like a perfect balloon, a most magnificent creature to behold! Her dress was made of white silk, trimmed all round the bottom with deep blonde lace, which was finished at the top with narrow silver cord. It was looped up on one side with a bouquet of white flowers, with silver leaves, and her waist was covered with a blonde lace bertha, and had a bouquet of the same flowers on the front, called a _corsage_. She wore a lace veil and a wreath of orange blossoms, and in her hand, tied fast there, was another large bouquet, and a lace-bordered pocket handkerchief. As to Mrs. Montague, she was hardly less splendidly attired, in a mauve silk with eleven flounces, a lace collar and sleeves, and a superb diamond breastpin--made of gla.s.s.

Well, dear me, I don't know how I can find room enough to describe all the splendid ladies that came to the wedding. They were none of them quite as elegant as Miss Isabella Belmont Montague, but they all had on their Sunday-go-to-meeting, Fourth-of-July, Christmas-and-New-Year's best clothes, and looked as fine as fiddles. Poor Miss Morris came, with her handkerchief up to her eyes, and stayed so all the time, crying as if her heart would break, I presume. She was so dismal, in her old green barege, that Minnie kindly dressed her in Mrs. Montague's purple silk, which fitted her quite well; so she didn't look so _very_ bad, after all. Aren't you glad? I am.

Pretty soon in came the minister, who was no other than Angelina! as her black nun's robe was the most like a gown that could be found; and when she was set up with her back against the centre table, the parlor door opened, and in marched the bride and bridegroom. Minnie and Maggie held them in their proper places, and the minister married them in rhyme; which, it strikes me, was a new style. This was what he said:

"Now you're married, you must obey; You must be true to all you say, And live together all your life; And I p.r.o.nounce you man and wife!"

When the marriage ceremony was over, the children set Mr. and Mrs.

Morris down side by side on the sofa, and leaving them to entertain the company, and talk for themselves if they could, got the supper ready.

It was such a grand supper that they were obliged to have a table from up stairs besides the dining table. Everything in the box of eatables was brought out, even the roast beef and b.u.t.tered toast, two dishes not ordinarily seen at suppers. The sugar-plums were disposed around wherever room could be found, and when everything was ready, Minnie took Toby to the parlor door and made him say:

TOBY.

Ladies and gentlemens, please to come to supper, Plum cake, and cream cake, and white bread and b.u.t.ter.

Up jumped Mr. Morris in such a violent hurry that he nearly tumbled over, and offered his arm to his bride; which Minnie made him do by bending it round, and pinning his kid hand fast to his waistcoat.

Maggie and Lina made the rest of the company walk after them in procession, as fast as they could lift them up; and they all pranced and paraded round by the back of the house into the dining room. Only poor Miss Morris was left out, and she had tumbled off her chair, and was lying behind the piano, on the top of her head, with one leg sticking straight up in the air like an awning post, and the other foot apparently boxing her ears, as it was turned back in a most extraordinary manner, till it touched her head.

Meanwhile, there were fine times going on in the dining room. Mr.

Montague took the foot of the table, and the bride and groom the head.

As soon as they were all seated, Mr. Montague said: