Frost's Laws and By-Laws of American Society Part 7

The answer accepting the invitation should run as follows:

"Mr. and Mrs. L--- have much pleasure in accepting Mr. and Mrs. G- --'s kind invitation to dinner on the 8th of January."

If declined, the following form must be used:

"Mr. and Mrs. L--- regret that a prior engagement (or other reason stated) will prevent their accepting Mr. and Mrs. G---'s kind invitation to dinner on the 8th of January."

Should the invitation be declined, some reason for the refusal must be given, and, unless an excuse (which always savors more or less of the untruthful) be wanted, it is the truest politeness to a.s.sign the cause which actually is the preventive. Whatever the cause--sickness, domestic trouble, business or any other--it should be stated as concisely as possible in the answer, which in any case should be dispatched as soon as possible (certainly the next day) after the receipt of the invitation, that the hostess may have time to summon other guests in the stead of those declining her first invitations.

After an invitation is once accepted, it should be scrupulously observed. Nothing but the most absolute necessity should prevent you from going, and when such necessity arises, it should be communicated directly, with a full explanation of the preventing cause even if it is within half an hour of the appointed dinner time. If earlier, send the explanation as soon as possible.

Invitations to dinner and the answers must be sent by a special messenger. The post is proverbially uncertain, and the non-arrival of an expected invitation or its answer, may cause lasting offence.

It is a breach of etiquette, to say nothing of practical inconvenience, to bring an una.s.sorted company together at dinner.

Great people, public characters, literary celebrities or distinguished guests from any cause should not be invited merely because they are such. They will be uncomfortable if the guests summoned to meet them are not congenial, and the remainder of your company equally so. No one guest should be too conspicuous. A harmonious blending of tastes and qualities should be the object in view. Persons moving in one circle of society should not, as a general rule, be invited to meet those who move in another circle.

A man of strong political bias in one direction, should not be invited to meet a party opposed to his views; persons of known and marked differences in religious matters should not be invited to meet each other, and above all, avoid the social collision of those whom you know to be personal enemies. The best guide in such matters is common sense, coupled with a little judicious forethought.

Invitations to large b.a.l.l.s should be sent out at least a fortnight before the time appointed, and are worded thus:

"Mrs. L---'s compliments to Miss G---, and requests the pleasure of her company at a ball, on Wednesday, the 7th of March, at 9 o'clock."

The answer is as follows:

"Miss G---'s compliments to Mrs. L---, and accepts with pleasure her kind invitation for Wednesday, March 7th."

Or,

"Miss G--- regrets a recent death in her family will prevent her accepting Mrs. L---'s kind invitation for March 7th."

An invitation to an evening party is worded:

"Mrs. S--- compliments to Mr. and Mrs. T---, and requests the pleasure of their company on March 9th, at 8 o'clock."

Such an invitation calls for full evening dress. The answer is the same as for a ball invitation.

Invitations to pic-nics, private theatricals, concerts, tea parties and other entertainments, generally state the nature of such entertainment, and are a little less formal than those already given.

For a musical party:

"Mrs. R-- requests the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. P---'s company, on Thursday evening, Feb. 10th, at 8 o'clock, to meet the members of the Harmonia Musical Society."

And if you have a programme of the concert, enclose it.

Or,

"Mrs. F--- expects a few friends on Monday evening next, at 8 o'clock, to take part in some dramatic readings, and would be happy to have Miss B--- join the party."

Or,

"Mrs. S---'s compliments to Miss P---, and would be pleased to have her join a pic-nic party to Pine Grove, on Wednesday, June 14th. Carriages start from Mrs. S---'s at 9 o'clock, and a place will be reserved for Miss P---."

Notes of invitation must always be dated, and your address in full written in one corner, thus:

"Feb. 6th, 18--.

"Miss M---. requests the pleasure of Miss N---'s company to a small evening party, on Friday evening next, at 8 o'clock.

"No. 762 R--- Street."

The body of the invitation must be in the middle of the sheet, and date a little above to the right, the address a little below to the left.

The envelopes containing invitations must be directed always to the private residence of the person invited, never to a place of business or office.

When the officers of a regiment or a ship are invited to an entertainment, and it is not possible to invite them all, it is customary to send an invitation to the Colonel or Commander, accompanied by a certain number of blank tickets, if it be a public ball, or by an intimation that the host would be glad to see Colonel or Captain --- and so many of the officers of the regiment or ship.

Invitations by a regiment to a ball, to be given by the officers, are worded as follows:

"Col. and the officers of the --- Regiment, U. S. A. (or other branch of the service), request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. C--- 's company on the 7th of December, at 9 o'clock.

"R--- Barracks, corner of --- and --- Streets."

Answers should be addressed to the Colonel of the regiment, and worded thus:

"Mr. and Mrs. C's compliments to Colonel -- and the officers of the - Regiment, U. S. A., and accept with pleasure their polite invitation for the 7th of December."

In case an officer desires to invite his personal friends, he encloses his own card in the invitation, but these must all be issued in the form already given, the card explaining to which officer the compliment is to be attributed.

Invitations to a Naval ball are issued in the name of the "Captain and officers of the U. S. Ship ---," or simply in the name of "The Officers of the U. S. Ship ---."

On the corner of the card the name of the officer to whom the answers are to be sent, should be written.

An officer of higher rank, or a public official of high position, will signify on his card what aide-de-camp or clerk is to receive the answers to his invitations, and will issue them in the joint name of himself and wife, thus:

"General and Mrs. E--- request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. D---'s company, on Thursday, the 6th of November, at 8 o'clock.

"Direct answers to Capt. E. C---."

Verbal invitations are given only when the occasion is a very informal one, and imply plain dress, early hours and a small company.

Invitations to concerts, theatre or opera, should be sent in time to secure good seats, if accepted, The usual style is:

"Mr. G would be much pleased to have Mrs. and Miss Hunt's company at the opera, on Wednesday evening, when La Trovatore will be performed by the Italian troupe at the Academy of Music."

Such an invitation calls for an immediate answer from the elder lady, and should be as follows:

"Mrs. and Miss Hunt accept with pleasure Mr. G---'s polite invitation to listen to a favorite opera on Wednesday evening."

Or if declined:

"Mrs. Hunt regrets that a prior engagement will prevent her own and Miss Hunt's acceptance of Mr. G---'s polite invitation for Wednesday evening."

For a general reception, invitations are printed upon cards, thus: