Friends Or Lovers Part 28

She glanced at me and we laughed at the thought.

"Men use their power when it suits them. We shouldnt be embarra.s.sed about using ours," she answered.

I nodded and she carried on.

"Dont know about you love, but I dont have millions stashed away to bring in the punters. But I do have a lovely pair of legs, great b.o.o.bs and a sharp brain."

"Killer combination," I quipped. "Just ask Erin Brockovich."

"You better believe it!"

And with our sights set on the shops, lunch, coffee and chocolate cake, she gave out a loud "Yee-haw!" and put her foot down on the accelerator as if she was about to drive off the cliff in Thelma & Louise. Her Porsche 911 accelerated quickly and my body pressed back into the seat, flushed with shock and excitement. After a few seconds, she took her foot off the gas and cruised into Birmingham at 90mph.

I found a lovely black dress, elegant with a cut that was suggestive without being too daring. It hung at the knee and had a waist that was gathered with a belt that was covered in ethnic beads. A matching necklace and earrings completed the vision.

After shopping, we retired for coffee and cake.

"Chocolate delight! They werent kidding were they?" I said as I tucked away another slice and sipped on my cafe latte.

"If only men tasted as good!" said Elaine.

"Some of them do," I quipped.

"Youll have to introduce me," she replied.

She was irrepressible, irresponsible and exuded a freedom than Id never witnessed at close quarters. She reminded me of John. I could see why they had become friends and I secretly wondered if perhaps she was the 'other woman to whom he had once 'given in. My new circle of friends gradually brought me out of my sh.e.l.l. I talked more about my thoughts and feelings to Mike, Elaine and John than to everyone else in the whole of my life. My sense of well-being grew. I found an emotional security that reminded me of my early childhood.

We said our farewells and departed to attend to our respective tasks. The CIPD event went off well. After an opening key speech, we were split into workgroups for role-play exercises that covered recent legislative changes. Of particular concern were provisions regarding temporary and part-time staff. Their employment rights had been strengthened, but many organisations still did not grasp the full impact. Various scenarios were introduced on video, then pairs of people acted out one-to-one meetings between an employee and personnel officer. Others made notes and gave feedback on the legality (or otherwise) of their intended actions.

I sat with Dave during the keynote speech but we were separated for the group sessions. After a question and answer panel, and closing comments, we adjourned and were asked to come back at around 7.30pm for the dinner. Dave and I checked into the hotel and agreed to meet in the bar about 6.30pm. As I retired to my room I began to realise that for the first time I found myself struggling to find things to say to him. Nagging at the back of my mind was the possibility that he might be harbouring feelings for me. I showered, pampered myself with goodies from my overnight bag, then sat in front of the mirror applying my face.

At 6.30 I made my way down to the bar. Dave was chatting and laughing with the barman.

"Here she is!" he said. "Doesnt she look fabulous?"

A compliment is almost obligatory when a woman presents herself in a new frock so I acknowledged and dismissed the remark. Perhaps I should have complimented him too but I didnt.

"What would you like?" asked Dave.

"Thanks, Dave. Ill have a rum and black."

He duly ordered and the barman said he would bring it to our table. Given the occasion, and the prospect of spending the whole evening together, I felt I should broach the subject of his wife.

"How are things at home?" I asked.

"Shes stable," he responded.

I expected more than this, but nothing was forthcoming. He smiled gently at me but it only increased my nervousness.

"Here you are maam," said the barman as he delivered the drink. He presented the till slip for Dave to sign.

"I dont suppose it matters who signs it," he said looking at me.

The barman looked surprised but took the hint and gave me the bill. I signed it and gave it back to him.

"Thank you, maam!" he said with appropriate emphasis.

"Barman?" I said boldly. He turned to face me again. "You can call me, Penny! Im not the queen."

"Thank you, Penny!" he said and we both smiled.

Dave looked slightly fl.u.s.tered.

"That was a bit 'familiar, wasnt it? Do you know him?"

"No. I was just being polite."

I wondered if we were in for a bad tempered night.

"You shouldnt be too familiar with bar staff, Penny."

"You were," I answered, immediately recalling that Dave was laughing with the barman when I entered.

"Just dont, Penny," he said defensively.

"Oh lighten up, Dave," I said dismissively.

"Dont use that tone with me," he said.

"Dave," I started, "I dont want to fall out with you. But please dont tell me how to behave towards people when Im not at work."

"You are at work, Penny. Youre representing the company here."

"And I was doing it splendidly, being polite to the hotel staff," I said.

"You were flirting with the barman," he said sternly.

A bubble of rage formed in the pit of my stomach but I managed to contain it.

"Dave?" I said.

"Yes, Penny?"

"Up yours!" I said, holding my drink aloft.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I felt so awkward that I got up and went back to my room. I began to panic. That was a really dumb thing to do with my appraisal only a few weeks away so I phoned Mike on my mobile. At first he laughed, which made me all the more cantankerous, but he managed to calm me down. At the end of the conversation, however, I was none the wiser whether I should apologise or not. I decided that it would be stupid not to. First, however, I decided to see if table places had been set.

In the dining room I met Jules, the conference manager, who showed me to a private bar and the seating plan for the evening. It had been turned into a charity event so the 50 partic.i.p.ants were swelled with another 200 people for the dinner. Husbands and wives joined the delegates and professional bodies had been invited for the evening speakers and networking opportunities. I had been allocated a place next to Dave so I asked Jules if I could sit elsewhere. Using her mobile she called reception and about ten minutes later a man came through with an amended seating plan.

"Thank you," I said, "I really appreciate this."

"Not too keen on your boss, I take it?" she asked.

"Not at the moment, no," I answered.

"Glad to help," she said with a warm smile.

I thanked Jules then went to the private bar to order another rum and black. With the prospect of a stressful evening receding, I returned to the main bar.

"Dave?" I asked.

He turned around and acknowledged me, but there was no smile.

"Im sorry for earlier. That was rude of me."

"Forget it," he said.

I waited for him to give me an apology in return, but none was forthcoming. This time I went back to the private bar without making a show of my feelings. The sea change in our relationship worried me.

The food was well presented but not especially delicious. The service and company, however, were excellent. Waiters and waitresses plied us at regular intervals with wine and aided the socialisation over dinner. My table included a CEO and his wife, a female entrepreneur and her husband, and three other human resource professionals (two men and a woman). With four men and women around the table, the conversation was mixed and lively.

The woman entrepreneur started to talk about one of the speakers. She heard him once in Scotland. Later they contracted him to a.s.sist in the investigation of a s.e.xual hara.s.sment case. She described him as humorous and charming, but with a mind and att.i.tude so sharp that you could cut yourself on it. She found him difficult to work with but praised the way he helped staff reconcile their differences.

Desserts came and went, coffees were served, and the chatter was eventually interrupted by a clink of gla.s.ses as the Chair introduced the fundraiser. It was a typical appeal to emotional sympathies. I felt sickened by the scene of an earnest charity worker begging for crumbs at the tables of the rich. I wrote a cheque for 30 unsure what would be considered an appropriate amount but as I was getting dinner for free I contributed the cost of the meal to the charity. Even as I did it, I felt no virtue. There must be better ways to help the less fortunate than this.

The first speaker was reasonable. The subject matter was more in Daves line, but I did see the pros and cons of entrepreneurial behaviour amongst employees. While she talked about side-stepping rules and procedures, the CEO at my table joked that if anybody tried that in his place, theyd be out. Controls were there for a reason, he said, and had to be followed. I wondered whether he had ever been an accountant.

Our table was a long way from the platform. When the second speaker stood up, I did not recognise him but there was a touch of familiarity in his voice. I thought he must be a celebrity off the TV but annoyingly one of my dinner companions kept distracting me. The speaker continued.

"Thank you. Thank you very much," he said. "I hardly recognise myself in those kind words."

I asked my dinner companion if we could continue our conversation later because I was particularly keen to hear this speaker. He looked offended, but at last I was able to focus on the speakers words.

"Ive been asked to talk about a subject that most of us think about daily, some of us talk about regularly, but which is rarely talked about publicly. It is a subject hardly ever discussed in business books. In my view, it exerts more influence over the workplace than any other single thing and is the bedrock of social organisation both at home and at work. Im talking, of course, about s.e.xual attraction and intimacy. Now if you think Ive come here to talk about bonking in the broom cupboard......"

With most of the audience tipsy, the speaker expected a few giggles and paused. A few people obliged. Everyone else stopped chatting and started to listen.

".....or kissing in the canteen, then you are going to be disappointed. If youve come here to understand how private lives impact on work then you are in the right place."

I noticed that more and more people were sitting up and taking notice. On the top table was a jug of water. The speaker paused for a moment and poured himself a gla.s.s.

"Always good when they give you a large jug of gin to drink always makes the talk more interesting," he quipped. "If you see them bringing a second jug, then the chances of me telling you a story about bonking in the broom cupboard rises considerably!"

A slightly larger group laughed at this remark, but one of my dinner companions just raised their eyebrows and gave a disapproving look.

"Talking of stories," he continued, "I have a couple for you that I hope will prompt interesting discussion in the bars."

Everybody in the room was now paying attention. He came across as an above average public speaker.

"Not so long ago I was sitting in an airport lounge and an attractive woman called Patsy glanced in my direction. When they called the flight, Patsy joined the queue and edged her way in front of me."

I laughed out loud as I recalled the way John and I had met. A few people on adjacent tables turned their heads to look at me. I thought it was uncanny the speaker had such a similar experience.

"Then Patsy did something that most people here will probably think is a bit bizarre, but which to me was not bizarre at all. She bent down to tie her shoelace......"

My laughter subsided and I began to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Nothing strange in that, you might think? Well, it would not have been strange except for one small detail. Patsy was wearing shoes that had no shoelaces......"

A ripple of laughter went around the room and the speaker paused to let the import of the joke linger. As for me, my heart was pounding as I realised that the speaker was John and that he was talking about our first meeting.

"What is significant about this story is that Patsys willingness to give me a birds eye view of her b.u.t.t was one of several reasons I decided to sit next to her. Very bold behaviour, I felt, and not something I was likely to come across every day. We fell into conversation, swapped e-mail addresses and later met for lunch. Now we take walks together. She became a close friend and is now also a professional colleague."

He paused again.

"Shes also dating one of my best friends!" he said loudly with gusto.

His comic timing was excellent and there was a further smattering of laughter.

"Now whats the relevance? s.e.xual attraction is often the reason we choose to take an interest in someone. As we work out the tensions many long and durable friendships are formed. I was lucky. Patsy liked and welcomed my response, but not immediately and not without a lot of soul searching about my intentions towards her. If she had taken offence, she might have withdrawn, confronted me, argued with me, perhaps even accused me of s.e.xually hara.s.sing her."

"We are still, even in this modern age, overwhelmingly social beings. Yes, we come to dinners like this to talk about how to make more - or lose less - money. We come for the networking opportunities, the social opening that will start a new business venture. But I want to suggest to you that there is something more than that, something deeper, more important."

He paused and took a sip of his water before continuing.

"Once, a business mentor of mine said to me that money was not the most important thing to him. To him, the money was a means and not an end. The money enabled him to feed his family, to open doors to social networks he wanted to belong to, to attract and be in the company of many beautiful women. In short, he was in business to have fun. 'If youre not having fun he would say, 'sell the business. To him, business was entertainment."

"So whats the key thing here?" asked John. "For him, being in business meant an emotionally fulfilling life. He did it for the buzz. For the challenge. For the company. And yes, lets admit it, for the s.e.x. He was, in a way, one of the business worlds rock stars, although he liked to avoid the press."

"Of course, there are many out there....and perhaps even in here...who will take a dim view of this. Business is about profit-maximising, about efficiency, about effectiveness and all those terms that are popular in business schools and board rooms. There are a few strange people who actually get off on this. Picture them in your mind: Laddie Lawyer...... Amy Accountant...... Adam Auditor."

There was substantial laughter as he recounted these names. He knew his audience. Human resource staff often battled legal and financial staff for influence and John cleverly used his knowledge of workplace tensions to win them over.

"Now, I imagine that youre sitting there thinking 'not me. Im rational, everybody else is emotional. I always do my best for my boss. Im a complete professional never let myself get distracted by this stuff. So Im going to ask for a bit of audience partic.i.p.ation. Can I have a show of hands, please? How many of you met your most recent wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend in an organisation? Dont just think of your own place of work. Did you meet in theirs? Was he or she your client? Were you students together?"

The hands started to rise, at first tentatively. The murmurs grew as spouses and partners reminded each other of their first meeting, with the result that more and more hands were raised until at least three-quarters held them aloft.

"More than usual," he commented. "We have a h.o.r.n.y bunch in tonight!"

The room rumbled with chatter and laughter as people started to absorb what had just been ill.u.s.trated. As the noise died down, so John continued.

"So let me make one or two comments before I tell you my second story. Firstly, how is it that most human resource professionals here tonight met their partner or spouse in a workplace and yet the profession is being persuaded to support zero-tolerance policies towards s.e.xual behaviour at work?"

There was less laughter now and he paused to have another drink. The women entrepreneur opposite looked irritated.

"See what I mean?" she said.

I nodded, but privately I thought John had a point.