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"The way he tells it to me is that she wants children he does not. Hes got three already and does not want any more. If theyd agreed on that then perhaps he would have let her get close to him, but because of this he would never let anything start. Apart from that, theyre like a married couple. They fight and bicker all the time! Shes been in love with him for years, but I cant see his feelings changing."
"No more kids?" I said, more as a remark to myself than a question for John.
Even as my own sister brought hers into the world, I still felt no maternal twinge. I wanted a man, not children. I looked at John again.
"Thanks for that," I said warmly.
"For what?" he asked.
"For that advice," I responded.
"What advice was that?" he said.
Whether he was being deliberately obtuse or just plain dumb, I did not care. Knowing that neither Mike nor I wanted children took away one potential conflict. John then grinned at me and I realised that he was playing. Mike and Sally came over and John announced that he too was helping with the move. I returned to my office and decided to make one more trip to Daves before packing up my things. I was looking forward to the evening.
Chapter 36.
"There you are!" I said. "Ive been looking for you all day."
"Whys that?" answered Dave.
"The flat, the contract!" I said "What contract?" answered Dave.
"Dont you remember?" I asked.
This was odd, I thought. Dave was behaving quite strangely and I was confused. I went over the talk we had the night before in the pub and he listened without making comment. When I finished, he finally said something.
"I said youd need my approval, but I didnt approve it."
"Dave! What dyou mean?"
"I wanted to discuss it with Harry first. We didnt agree anything last night you just told me what you wanted to do. I didnt agree to it."
"What do you mean? You said youd e-mail Legal this morning. You said you would go and see them to sort this out."
"Youre mistaken, Penny," he said.
His stubbornness was mirrored by the rigidity in his body. He was standing next to his desk. His fists were clenched as he spoke. My mood changed from one of confusion to concern. I couldnt understand why he was behaving this way. What was he playing at?
"Well, whatever Dave!" I said. "I just dropped by to say that Ive sorted it anyway. Mike is moving in tonight."
"What?"
Dave was acting so strangely that I felt like asking why, but I confined myself to the issue in hand.
"Hes moving in tonight," I said again.
"But we havent sorted out a contract yet. You havent given him any keys, have you?"
"Yes, I have. And Ive sorted out the contract."
He looked defensive and angry.
"How?" he said, almost shouting. "I need to sign it. You havent signed it yourself?"
"No!" I answered.
It was my turn to feel defensive.
"So how dyou sort it?" he asked with a tone bordering on aggression.
"I got someone else to sign it because I couldnt find you."
"You went around me?"
"No, I didnt 'go around you, I couldnt find you so I got Harry to sign."
Dave looked at me, clearly irritated. I wondered if something might have happened at the hospital.
"Dont do it again!" he said finally.
On another occasion I would have challenged him, but I wanted to retreat. His behaviour was strange and my evening engagement so much more inviting. He was speaking to me like a child. That was so out of character I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. He must have had a very bad day.
"Okay," I said. Without saying goodbye, I left the room.
Chapter 37.
It took us less time than expected to move Mikes stuff. As the flat was partly furnished, he needed to take only a few easily transportable things, plus his clothes, bedding, computer, hi-fi and a portable television. With four helpers and four cars, we quickly filled each of them up, drove to the new flat, unloaded and had four gla.s.ses of champagne on the table before the 7pm.
Sally raised her gla.s.s.
"To new beginnings," she announced.
We all dutifully raised our gla.s.ses and clinked them together.
"To new beginnings!"
I noticed myself glancing in Mikes direction repeatedly. Sometimes he would look back and acknowledge my interest, but at other times he would remain engaged in conversation with John and Sally. I initially felt out of place amongst such close friends, but they took care to include me in their conversation. As the evening wore on I felt more and more relaxed. By nine oclock, after we had consumed a pizza-takeaway and several bottles of wine, Sally stood up and raised her gla.s.s.
"Penny," she started. "This man here....," she lost her balance for a moment as the drink began to affect her. She quickly regrouped and continued, "....this man saved my life."
Mikes eyes looked downward as he shook his head and laughed.
"Yes he did! Yes he did! I dont mean he saved my life like he rescued me from death or anything. I mean that he rescued me in here."
She pointed to her heart with a finger and kept stabbing herself as she laughed.
Mikes eyes looked everywhere but towards me and I sensed that he wished Sally would shut up.
"Dont you look around the place like that!" she barked at Mike. "Youre one of lifes superheroes."
Mike threw up a hand to discard her remark.
"I dont think Dave would see it like that...," answered Mike. "Come on Sal, sit down love and rejoin the party."
"Sod Dave!" she said. "He and his stinking brother can rot in h.e.l.l for all I care."
This outburst and the mention of Daves name fired my curiosity but in my drunken state I was more interested in giving Sally some sisterly support.
"You leave 'er alone, you!" I said boldly. "If she wants to praise you, let 'er!"
As Sally sat down, I stood up. Her boldness had made me bold and I wanted to say my piece as well. I wobbled momentarily as I raised my gla.s.s to John.
"This man," I said looking at him.
I decided to mimic Sally so I feigned a stumble.
"This man saved my career!"
John smiled back and raised his gla.s.s to me in appreciation.
"Did he? Well, I never," responded Sally. "How dee do that?"
I was feeling liberated so I let my feelings spill out. As I spoke I looked deep into Johns eyes. I wanted him in no doubt how special he was to me.
"Well firstly, he helped me see something that I couldnt see. When he did that....(hic)...."
Everybody laughed as I struggled to articulate what I felt.
"....he stopped me causing this man..."
I quickly glanced at Mike before continuing "...any more upset and pain."
Mikes embarra.s.sed look left his face and was replaced by one of genuine surprise.
"I was about to do one of the most stupid things Id ever done, and I wouldve done so if my good friend John who I will now love forever.....," as these words spilled out my hand instinctively moved to cover my mouth.
"Ah s.h.i.t! What the h.e.l.l," I said and then continued. "This man.....this man....this man...."
As I stood there, the other three giggled away, but in my mind a whole world of understanding descended on me and I felt completely overwhelmed. Before I knew it there were tears in my eyes and I was struggling to talk. John noticed and started to get up but I put my hand up to stop him. I did not understand what was happening to me, but I knew that I had more to say so I gathered myself and started to find the words.
"....this man...," as the words formed in my head a single tear started to roll down one of my cheeks.
"Penny," said John, "you dont have to say this."
I looked at him and was overcome with such feelings of love and affection that I put my hand up again.
"John, I do. I do have to say it and I want these two to listen."
He sat down again and with a resigned look, braced himself for what he thought I was going to say.
"....this man did more than save my career."
"Penny!" John interrupted again. "You dont have to. Really you dont."
I laughed as I realised just how comfortable I suddenly felt.
"Shut up, you.....you.....a.r.s.ehole!" I said with a smile. "Youve had this coming to you for a long time so dont spoil it."
Sally and Mike were transfixed as they witnessed this intimate exchange.
"Since when did you two get so close?" asked Mike.
"You shut up too, you a.r.s.ehole, and Ill tell you!"
Sally creased up with laughter when I called Mike an a.r.s.ehole, and John gave a short chuckle and relaxed in his chair.
"You men, honestly! Never know when to shut up...."
As I spoke, I giggled at the comedy that was taking place.
"Right! This man...," and this time I paused for effect more than anything else, "taught me how to feel again."
John obviously felt that I was going to tell him again how much I loved him, so this caught him by surprise.
"For the last 10 years, Ive known a series of jerks and losers and none of them ever made me actually want to know them. You John, you changed all that. I dont know how you did it but you made me take an interest in living again. I mean really living not just have a job and exist. Ive been a bad girl, me. Im the sort of person your mother warned you about. Good as gold at work, but a vixen at night who stalks and preys on vain and needy men to satisfy her own vanity and neediness. What Ive done while at conferences would fill the pages of a Jackie Collins novel! But you, John..."
I fixed my eyes and aggressively pointed my finger at him.
"...you made me want to behave!"
Sally and Mike creased up with laughter as I fired my double barrel. John looked less worried and began to take in what I was saying. I had them all where I wanted them now, so I continued with the performance and grew in confidence. As Mikes giggles subsided, the vixen started to return and my gaze left John and fixed on Mike. Mike starred back at me and for a few seconds we were transfixed by each other.