Friends I Have Made Part 8

My next glance was at Uncle Bill, who was bending over his work with set teeth, and the sweat standing in drops upon his grimy forehead.

"There, don't speak to me," he said, huskily. "I'm a bit put out now; hook it, and see me agen some other time, please."

I could hear the birds twittering as I went down from landing to landing, meeting no unkindly looks; but, like Uncle Bill, one could not help feeling "a bit put out" concerning the future of the little bird I saw in its cage.

CHAPTER SEVEN.

A GREAT TROUBLE.

In my strange, reticent way I had a great objection to making friends unless they were people who needed my aid; then I seemed drawn to them, and an intimacy was sure to follow. There was one family, though, whom I came to know through Ruth Smith and her husband Luke, and from the very first they interested me--more, though, from the troubles through which they had pa.s.sed than anything else.

Mr Hendrick was a clerk in some great firm, and as our intimacy increased, and he saw the interest I took in his daughters, each of whom was a well educated young girl, just of an impressionable age, he used to speak very plainly of their future.

"I shall not be sorry," he said, "to see them the wives of good earnest men, I don't want them to make wealthy matches; but money is useful, of course."

"They have never been from home?" I said.

"Oh, yes, both of them. But governesses, poor children, have not a happy time. Of course there are houses where there is a good sensible woman at the head, and the governess finds a home; but in too many cases she does not fare any too well."

"Yours have had some unpleasant experiences, then?"

"Oh, yes," he said, smiling. "Ah, that was a hard time." It was just after my long illness, when I was laid by for six months.

"Of course, it was not reasonable to expect different treatment from the great firm with whom I had been for so many years; but it came like a sharp pang when one morning at breakfast, just as I had made up my mind to go up to town and try again, the postman left a letter.

"It was very kindly written, and enclosed a cheque for fifty pounds; but that did not seem to balance the intimation that the heads of the City place had filled up my post by promoting one of their employes; for they said that it was quite evident I should not be in a condition to do active business for some months to come, and they advocated perfect rest and a sojourn at the sea side.

"I could not complain, for twice over I had been back, telling myself I was strong enough to go on, but each time I had broken down, and on the last occasion had to be sent home in a fly.

"The disease, you see, had left me so dreadfully nervous; and directly I had attempted to think and direct, and plunge generally into the regular bustle of business, I had become confused and flurried, ending by sitting down miserably helpless, and obliged to confess myself beaten.

"`This is the worst cut of all,' I said with a groan, as I let the envelope and its enclosures fall to the ground; `G.o.d help us! what is to become of us?'

"`Oh, come, come!' exclaimed my wife--bless her for a dear little woman who always thinks a looking-gla.s.s has two bright sides!--`come, come! we shall manage right enough, dear, only wait and grow strong.'

"`Seven of us, and no income--nothing to look forward to in this weary, weary world,' I groaned; and I sank back and covered my face with my hands.

"`And as I did so I felt my little woman rest her forehead on my hands, and in a whisper she repeated those lines of Longfellow's--'

"`Be still, sad heart! and cease repining; Behind the clouds is the sun still shining; Thy fate is the common fate of all: Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary.'

"I knew the truth of the words--very favourite ones of mine, which I had often quoted about other people's sorrows--but now I could only moan in my weakness, and think of the future as a cloudy, rainy time, which no sunshine could ever pierce.

"What was to become of our two girls, Hetty and Marie, of whom we had been so proud, and whom we had educated and trained with such care that while domestic in every way, they were ladies in the truest sense of the word--girls of eighteen and twenty? What was to become of the little ones?

"For with my large family I had never been able to put much aside, but had trusted to insurance. What little I had saved had been swept away by the expenses of my long illness; and now I had fifty pounds, a few debts, the insurance-money to keep up, my health was shattered, and no prospective income.

"I can scarcely think about it all now without a strange swelling coming in my throat, for events followed one another pretty quickly then. Of course, I know that I had no business to repine; but I was in so weak and helpless a state that I did and said things very different to the thoughts and acts of a man in robust health.

"The next morning my eldest boy, a lad of fourteen then, sat perfectly still after breakfast, and looked preternaturally solemn. I did not see it then, but there was evidently a conspiracy afloat.

"`Time you had gone to school, my boy,' I said.

"`Not going to-day, father,' was the answer; and then it came out that the schoolmaster's brother had undertaken to receive the boy into his office, without premium--he was a land agent and surveyor, and the boy was to reside with him.

"I was stunned almost. I knew it was a blessing in disguise--one hearty boy well provided for--but I was too full of repining to see it then.

"d.i.c.k went the next day; and this seemed a new trouble.

"Four days later Marie came to tell me that she was going to be nursery governess at the rectory; and though she was only going to be a mile away, that was another bitter pang; and I fear that I did no little towards sending the poor girl to her new home low-spirited and dejected.

"`Our home's being broken up now, dear,' I said to my wife the evening after Marie had gone; and she gave such a sigh, and began to sob so violently, that I knew there was something being kept back, and taxed her with it.

"`Tell me this instant,' I said excitedly. `What is it?'

"`Pray, pray don't be excited,' she cried tenderly; `you know how it depresses you afterwards.'

"`Then tell me all about what has been done. Oh! it's cruel, cruel, cruel, while I am prostrate here, to be deceiving me as you all are.'

"`Harry, darling,' my poor little wife sobbed, `indeed, indeed we have been doing all for the best, and to help you in our difficulties.'

"`Yes, yes; I know, I know,' I said, laying my hand upon her head as she knelt there by my bedside; `it is I who am so pitifully mean and weak with my illness. Tell me all, dear; I can bear it now.'

"And I did try so hard; though the weak tears would come rolling from beneath my closed eyelids as she told me that Hetty, my darling, the flower of the flock, with her sweet earnest grey eyes, fair face, and golden-brown hair, had n.o.bly determined, too, to obtain a situation as governess; had, unknown even to her mother, advertised; had received an answer, and obtained an appointment in a merchant's family at a salary of eight pounds per annum.

"`Yes; and isn't it lucky, father?' exclaimed her bright, cheerful, young voice; for she had been standing at the door.

"`Oh, my darling! I can't part with you,' I groaned.

"`Only for a little while, father dear,' she said nestling to me. `And eight pounds a year; that will be two pounds for me for dress--must dress well, dear--and six for you and mamma. That will nearly half pay one quarter's rent, you know; and think! there will be three less to keep, and I do eat so heartily.'

"I tried very hard to follow in the same spirit of gaiety; but in those days I was such a wet blanket that I soon led the way, and it ended in our all sobbing together at the thought of the coming separation.

"This may sound very simple to some people; but by those who have lived in the circle of a united family, happy in their own modest way, I dare say it will be understood.

"The day of parting came so quickly, and my wife took my place, going up to town with Hetty, and seeing her safely installed, while I lay tossing feverishly on my bed, bemoaning my inability to act, and looking with envy through the open window at the labourer toiling in the hot sun with his pickaxe, mending the road.

"`It's not much I ask!' I groaned, in an agony of supplication, as I lay there, and stretched out my thin and trembling hands; `only that I may have strength--strength to work. I care not how hard, how humble it may be, only give me back my strength.'

"Perhaps it was from exhaustion, but I felt and thought differently after that; for it seemed to me then, as I lay there, that my prayer was heard, and a sweet restful sleep fell upon me, from which I awakened at last to find it was quite sunset, while, on looking round, there sat my wife watching by the bedside.

"`Back,' I said, `so soon?'

"`Soon, dear?' she said; `I have been sitting here an hour. It is seven o'clock, and they say you fell asleep before twelve. It was so sweet and sound a sleep that I would not wake you.'

"I lay there quite still for a few minutes, holding her hand in mine, and then I said quite calmly--