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'Every conversation of the cottagers now opened new wonders to me. While I listened to the instructions which Felix bestowed upon the Arabian, the strange system of human society was explained to me. I heard of the division of property, of immense wealth and squalid poverty, of rank, descent, and n.o.ble blood.
'Te words induced me to turn towards myself. I learned that the possessions most esteemed by your fellow creatures were high and unsullied descent united with riches. A man might be respected with only one of these advantages, but without either he was considered, except in very rare instances, as a vagabond and a slave, doomed to waste his powers for the profts of the chosen few! And what was I?
Of my creation and creator I was absolutely ignorant, but I knew that I possessed no money, no friends, no kind of property. I was, besides, endued with a fgure hideously deformed and loathsome; I was not even of the same nature as man. I was more agile than they and could subsist upon coa.r.s.er diet; I bore the extremes of heat and cold with less injury to my frame; my stature far exceeded theirs. When I looked around I saw and heard of none like me. Was I, then, a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fed and whom all men disowned?
'I cannot describe to you the agony that these refections inficted upon me; I tried to dispel them, but sorrow only increased with knowledge. Oh, that I had forever remained in my native wood, nor known nor felt beyond the sensations of hunger, thirst, and heat!
'Of what a strange nature is knowledge! It clings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on the rock.
I wished sometimes to shake of all thought and feeling, but I learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death-a state which I feared yet did not understand. I admired virtue and good feelings and loved the gentle manners and amiable qualities of my cottagers, but I was shut out from intercourse with them, except through means which I obtained by stealth, when I was unseen and unknown, and which rather increased than satisfed the desire I had of becoming one among my fellows.
Te gentle words of Agatha and the animated smiles of the charming Arabian were not for me. Te mild exhortations of the old man and the lively conversation of the loved Felix were not for me. Miserable, unhappy wretch!
'Other lessons were impressed upon me even more deeply.
I heard of the diference of s.e.xes, and the birth and growth of children, how the father doted on the smiles of the infant, and the lively sallies of the older child, how all the life and cares of the mother were wrapped up in the precious charge, how the mind of youth expanded and gained knowledge, of brother, sister, and all the various relationships which bind one human being to another in mutual bonds.
'But where were my friends and relations? No father had watched my infant days, no mother had blessed me with smiles and caresses; or if they had, all my past life was now a blot, a blind vacancy in which I distinguished nothing.
From my earliest remembrance I had been as I then was in height and proportion. I had never yet seen a being resembling me or who claimed any intercourse with me. What was I? Te question again recurred, to be answered only with groans.
'I will soon explain to what these feelings tended, but allow me now to return to the cottagers, whose story excited in me such various feelings of indignation, delight, and wonder, but which all terminated in additional love and reverence for my protectors (for so I loved, in an innocent, half-painful self-deceit, to call them).'
Chapter 14.
'Some time elapsed before I learned the history of my friends. It was one which could not fail to impress itself deeply on my mind, unfolding as it did a number of circ.u.mstances, each interesting and wonderful to one so utterly inexperienced as I was.
'Te name of the old man was De Lacey. He was descended from a good family in France, where he had lived for many years in afuence, respected by his superiors and beloved by his equals. His son was bred in the service of his country, and Agatha had ranked with ladies of the highest distinction. A few months before my arrival they had lived in a large and luxurious city called Paris, surrounded by friends and possessed of every enjoyment which virtue, refnement of intellect, or taste, accompanied by a moderate fortune, could aford.
'Te father of Safe had been the cause of their ruin. He was a Turkish merchant and had inhabited Paris for many years, when, for some reason which I could not learn, he became obnoxious to the government. He was seized and cast into prison the very day that Safe arrived from Constantinople to join him. He was tried and condemned to death. Te injustice of his sentence was very f.a.grant; all Paris was indignant; and it was judged that his religion and wealth rather than the crime alleged against him had been the cause of his condemnation.
'Felix had accidentally been present at the trial; his horror and indignation were uncontrollable when he heard the decision of the court. He made, at that moment, a solemn vow to deliver him and then looked around for the means. Afer many fruitless attempts to gain admittance to the prison, he found a strongly grated window in an unguarded part of the building, which lighted the dungeon of the unfortunate Muhammadan, who, loaded with chains, waited in despair the execution of the barbarous sentence. Felix visited the grate at night and made known to the prisoner his intentions in his favour. Te Turk, amazed and delighted, endeavoured to kindle the zeal of his deliverer by promises of reward and wealth. Felix rejected his ofers with contempt, yet when he saw the lovely Safe, who was allowed to visit her father and who by her gestures expressed her lively grat.i.tude, the youth could not help owning to his own mind that the captive possessed a treasure which would fully reward his toil and hazard.
'Te Turk quickly perceived the impression that his daughter had made on the heart of Felix and endeavoured to secure him more entirely in his interests by the promise of her hand in marriage so soon as he should be conveyed to a place of safety. Felix was too delicate to accept this ofer, yet he looked forward to the probability of the event as to the consummation of his happiness.
'During the ensuing days, while the preparations were going forward for the escape of the merchant, the zeal of Felix was warmed by several letters that he received from this lovely girl, who found means to express her thoughts in the language of her lover by the aid of an old man, a servant of her father who understood French. She thanked him in the most ardent terms for his intended services towards her parent, and at the same time she gently deplored her own fate.
'I have copies of these letters, for I found means, during my residence in the hovel, to procure the implements of writing; and the letters were ofen in the hands of Felix or Agatha. Before I depart I will give them to you; they will prove the truth of my tale; but at present, as the sun is already far declined, I shall only have time to repeat the substance of them to you.
'Safe related that her mother was a Christian Arab, seized and made a slave by the Turks; recommended by her beauty, she had won the heart of the father of Safe, who married her. Te young girl spoke in high and enthusiastic terms of her mother, who, born in freedom, spurned the bondage to which she was now reduced. She instructed her daughter in the tenets of her religion and taught her to aspire to higher powers of intellect and an independence of spirit forbidden to the female followers of Muhammad. Tis lady died, but her lessons were indelibly impressed on the mind of Safe, who sickened at the prospect of again returning to Asia and being immured within the walls of a harem, allowed only to occupy herself with infantile amus.e.m.e.nts, ill-suited to the temper of her soul, now accustomed to grand ideas and a n.o.ble emulation for virtue. Te prospect of marrying a Christian and remaining in a country where women were allowed to take a rank in society was enchanting to her.
'Te day for the execution of the Turk was fxed, but on the night previous to it he quitted his prison and before morning was distant many leagues from Paris. Felix had procured pa.s.sports in the name of his father, sister, and himself. He had previously communicated his plan to the former, who aided the deceit by quitting his house, under the pretence of a journey and concealed himself, with his daughter, in an obscure part of Paris.
'Felix conducted the fugitives through France to Lyons and across Mont Cenis to Leghorn, where the merchant had decided to wait a favourable opportunity of pa.s.sing into some part of the Turkish dominions.
'Safe resolved to remain with her father until the moment of his departure, before which time the Turk renewed his promise that she should be united to his deliverer; and Felix remained with them in expectation of that event; and in the meantime he enjoyed the society of the Arabian, who exhibited towards him the simplest and tenderest afection.
Tey conversed with one another through the means of an interpreter, and sometimes with the interpretation of looks; and Safe sang to him the divine airs of her native country.
'Te Turk allowed this intimacy to take place and encouraged the hopes of the youthful lovers, while in his heart he had formed far other plans. He loathed the idea that his daughter should be united to a Christian, but he feared the resentment of Felix if he should appear lukewarm, for he knew that he was still in the power of his deliverer if he should choose to betray him to the Italian state which they inhabited. He revolved a thousand plans by which he should be enabled to prolong the deceit until it might be no longer necessary, and secretly to take his daughter with him when he departed. His plans were facilitated by the news which arrived from Paris.
'Te government of France were greatly enraged at the escape of their victim and spared no pains to detect and punish his deliverer. Te plot of Felix was quickly discovered, and DeLacey and Agatha were thrown into prison.
Te news reached Felix and roused him from his dream of pleasure. His blind and aged father and his gentle sister lay in a noisome dungeon while he enjoyed the free air and the society of her whom he loved. Tis idea was torture to him.
He quickly arranged with the Turk that if the latter should fnd a favourable opportunity for escape before Felix could return to Italy, Safe should remain as a boarder at a convent at Leghorn; and then, quitting the lovely Arabian, he hastened to Paris and delivered himself up to the vengeance of the law, hoping to free De Lacey and Agatha by this proceeding.
'He did not succeed. Tey remained confned for fve months before the trial took place, the result of which deprived them of their fortune and condemned them to a perpetual exile from their native country.
'Tey found a miserable asylum in the cottage in Germany, where I discovered them. Felix soon learned that the treacherous Turk, for whom he and his family endured such unheard-of oppression, on discovering that his deliverer was thus reduced to poverty and ruin, became a traitor to good feeling and honour and had quitted Italy with his daughter, insultingly sending Felix a pittance of money to aid him, as he said, in some plan of future maintenance.
'Such were the events that preyed on the heart of Felix and rendered him, when I frst saw him, the most misera- ble of his family. He could have endured poverty, and while this distress had been the meed of his virtue, he gloried in it; but the ingrat.i.tude of the Turk and the loss of his beloved Safe were misfortunes more bitter and irreparable. Te arrival of the Arabian now infused new life into his soul.
'When the news reached Leghorn that Felix was deprived of his wealth and rank, the merchant commanded his daughter to think no more of her lover, but to prepare to return to her native country. Te generous nature of Safe was outraged by this command; she attempted to expostulate with her father, but he lef her angrily, reiterating his tyrannical mandate.
'A few days afer, the Turk entered his daughter's apartment and told her hastily that he had reason to believe that his residence at Leghorn had been divulged and that he should speedily be delivered up to the French government; he had consequently hired a vessel to convey him to Constantinople, for which city he should sail in a few hours. He intended to leave his daughter under the care of a confdential servant, to follow at her leisure with the greater part of his property, which had not yet arrived at Leghorn.
'When alone, Safe resolved in her own mind the plan of conduct that it would become her to pursue in this emergency. A residence in Turkey was abhorrent to her; her religion and her feelings were alike averse to it. By some papers of her father which fell into her hands she heard of the exile of her lover and learnt the name of the spot where he then resided. She hesitated some time, but at length she formed her determination. Taking with her some jewels that belonged to her and a sum of money, she quitted Italy with an attendant, a native of Leghorn, but who understood the common language of Turkey, and departed for Germany.
'She arrived in safety at a town about twenty leagues from the cottage of De Lacey, when her attendant fell dangerously ill. Safe nursed her with the most devoted afection, but the poor girl died, and the Arabian was lef alone, unacquainted with the language of the country and utterly ignorant of the customs of the world. She fell, however, into good hands.
Te Italian had mentioned the name of the spot for which they were bound, and afer her death the woman of the house in which they had lived took care that Safe should arrive in safety at the cottage of her lover.'
Chapter 15.
'Such was the history of my beloved cottagers. It impressed me deeply. I learned, from the views of social life which it developed, to admire their virtues and to deprecate the vices of mankind.
'As yet I looked upon crime as a distant evil, benevolence and generosity were ever present before me, inciting within me a desire to become an actor in the busy scene where so many admirable qualities were called forth and displayed.
But in giving an account of the progress of my intellect, I must not omit a circ.u.mstance which occurred in the beginning of the month of August of the same year.
'One night during my accustomed visit to the neighbouring wood where I collected my own food and brought home fring for my protectors, I found on the ground a leathern portmanteau containing several articles of dress and some books. I eagerly seized the prize and returned with it to my hovel. Fortunately the books were written in the language, the elements of which I had acquired at the cottage; they consisted of Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch's Lives, and the Sorrows of Werter. Te possession of these treasures gave me extreme delight; I now continually studied and exercised my mind upon these histories, whilst my friends were employed in their ordinary occupations.
'I can hardly describe to you the efect of these books.
Tey produced in me an infnity of new images and feelings, that sometimes raised me to ecstasy, but more frequently sunk me into the lowest dejection. In the Sorrows of Werter, besides the interest of its simple and afecting story, so many opinions are canva.s.sed and so many lights thrown upon what had hitherto been to me obscure subjects that I found in it a never-ending source of speculation and astonishment. Te gentle and domestic manners it described, combined with lofy sentiments and feelings, which had for their object something out of self, accorded well with my experience among my protectors and with the wants which were forever alive in my own bosom. But I thought Werter himself a more divine being than I had ever beheld or imagined; his character contained no pretension, but it sank deep. Te disquisitions upon death and suicide were calculated to fll me with wonder. I did not pretend to enter into the merits of the case, yet I inclined towards the opinions of the hero, whose extinction I wept, without precisely understanding it.
'As I read, however, I applied much personally to my own feelings and condition. I found myself similar yet at the same time strangely unlike to the beings concerning whom I read and to whose conversation I was a listener. I sympathized with and partly understood them, but I was unformed in mind; I was dependent on none and related to none. 'Te path of my departure was free,' and there was none to lament my annihilation. My person was hideous and my stature gigantic. What did this mean? Who was I?
What was I? Whence did I come? What was my destination?
Tese questions continually recurred, but I was unable to solve them.
'Te volume of Plutarch's Lives which I possessed contained the histories of the frst founders of the ancient republics. Tis book had a far diferent efect upon me from the Sorrows of Werter. I learned from Werter's imaginations despondency and gloom, but Plutarch taught me high thoughts; he elevated me above the wretched sphere of my own refections, to admire and love the heroes of past ages.
Many things I read surpa.s.sed my understanding and experience. I had a very confused knowledge of kingdoms, wide extents of country, mighty rivers, and boundless seas. But I was perfectly unacquainted with towns and large a.s.semblages of men. Te cottage of my protectors had been the only school in which I had studied human nature, but this book developed new and mightier scenes of action. I read of men concerned in public afairs, governing or ma.s.sacring their species. I felt the greatest ardour for virtue rise within me, and abhorrence for vice, as far as I understood the signifcation of those terms, relative as they were, as I applied them, to pleasure and pain alone. Induced by these feelings, I was of course led to admire peaceable lawgivers, Numa, Solon, and Lycurgus, in preference to Romulus and Teseus. Te patriarchal lives of my protectors caused these impressions to take a frm hold on my mind; perhaps, if my frst introduction to humanity had been made by a young soldier, burning for glory and slaughter, I should have been imbued with diferent sensations.
'But Paradise Lost excited diferent and far deeper emotions. I read it, as I had read the other volumes which had fallen into my hands, as a true history. It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent G.o.d warring with his creatures was capable of exciting. I often referred the several situations, as their similarity struck me, to my own. Like Adam, I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence; but his state was far different from mine in every other respect. He had come forth from the hands of G.o.d a perfect creature, happy and prosperous, guarded by the especial care of his Creator; he was allowed to converse with and acquire knowledge from beings of a superior nature, but I was wretched, helpless, and alone. Many times I considered Satan as the ftter emblem of my condition, for ofen, like him, when I viewed the bliss of my protectors, the bitter gall of envy rose within me.
'Another circ.u.mstance strengthened and confrmed these feelings. Soon afer my arrival in the hovel I discovered some papers in the pocket of the dress which I had taken from your laboratory. At frst I had neglected them, but now that I was able to decipher the characters in which they were written, I began to study them with diligence. It was your journal of the four months that preceded my creation. You minutely described in these papers every step you took in the progress of your work; this history was mingled with accounts of domestic occurrences. You doubtless recollect these papers. Here they are. Everything is related in them which bears reference to my accursed origin; the whole detail of that series of disgusting circ.u.mstances which produced it is set in view; the minutest description of my odious and loathsome person is given, in language which painted your own horrors and rendered mine indelible. I sickened as I read. 'Hateful day when I received life!'
I exclaimed in agony. 'Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? G.o.d, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, afer his own image; but my form is a flthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow devils, to admire and encourage him, but I am solitary and abhorred.'
'Tese were the refections of my hours of despondency and solitude; but when I contemplated the virtues of the cottagers, their amiable and benevolent dispositions, I persuaded myself that when they should become acquainted with my admiration of their virtues they would compa.s.sionate me and overlook my personal deformity. Could they turn from their door one, however monstrous, who solicited their compa.s.sion and friendship? I resolved, at least, not to despair, but in every way to ft myself for an interview with them which would decide my fate. I postponed this attempt for some months longer, for the importance attached to its success inspired me with a dread lest I should fail. Besides, I found that my understanding improved so much with every day's experience that I was unwilling to commence this undertaking until a few more months should have added to my sagacity.
'Several changes, in the meantime, took place in the cottage. Te presence of Safe difused happiness among its inhabitants, and I also found that a greater degree of plenty reigned there. Felix and Agatha spent more time in amus.e.m.e.nt and conversation, and were a.s.sisted in their labours by servants. Tey did not appear rich, but they were contented and happy; their feelings were serene and peaceful, while mine became every day more tumultuous. Increase of knowledge only discovered to me more clearly what a wretched outcast I was. I cherished hope, it is true, but it vanished when I beheld my person refected in water or my shadow in the moonshine, even as that frail image and that inconstant shade.
'I endeavoured to crush these fears and to fortify myself for the trial which in a few months I resolved to undergo; and sometimes I allowed my thoughts, unchecked by reason, to ramble in the felds of Paradise, and dared to fancy amiable and lovely creatures sympathizing with my feelings and cheering my gloom; their angelic countenances breathed smiles of consolation. But it was all a dream; no Eve soothed my sorrows nor shared my thoughts; I was alone. I remembered Adam's supplication to his Creator.
But where was mine? He had abandoned me, and in the bitterness of my heart I cursed him.
'Autumn pa.s.sed thus. I saw, with surprise and grief, the leaves decay and fall, and nature again a.s.sume the barren and bleak appearance it had worn when I frst beheld the woods and the lovely moon. Yet I did not heed the bleakness of the weather; I was better ftted by my conformation for the endurance of cold than heat. But my chief delights were the sight of the fowers, the birds, and all the gay apparel of summer; when those deserted me, I turned with more attention towards the cottagers. Teir happiness was not decreased by the absence of summer. Tey loved and sympathized with one another; and their joys, depending on each other, were not interrupted by the casualties that took place around them. Te more I saw of them, the greater became my desire to claim their protection and kindness; my heart yearned to be known and loved by these amiable creatures; to see their sweet looks directed towards me with afection was the utmost limit of my ambition. I dared not think that they would turn them from me with disdain and horror. Te poor that stopped at their door were never driven away. I asked, it is true, for greater treasures than a little food or rest: I required kindness and sympathy; but I did not believe myself utterly unworthy of it.
'Te winter advanced, and an entire revolution of the seasons had taken place since I awoke into life. My attention at this time was solely directed towards my plan of introducing myself into the cottage of my protectors. I revolved many projects, but that on which I fnally fxed was to enter the dwelling when the blind old man should be alone. I had sagacity enough to discover that the unnatural hideousness of my person was the chief object of horror with those who had formerly beheld me. My voice, although harsh, had nothing terrible in it; I thought, therefore, that if in the absence of his children I could gain the good will and mediation of the old De Lacey, I might by his means be tolerated by my younger protectors.
'One day, when the sun shone on the red leaves that strewed the ground and difused cheerfulness, although it denied warmth, Safe, Agatha, and Felix departed on a long country walk, and the old man, at his own desire, was lef alone in the cottage. When his children had departed, he took up his guitar and played several mournful but sweet airs, more sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before. At frst his countenance was illuminated with pleasure, but as he continued, thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded; at length, laying aside the instrument, he sat absorbed in refection.
'My heart beat quick; this was the hour and moment of trial, which would decide my hopes or realize my fears. Te servants were gone to a neighbouring fair. All was silent in and around the cottage; it was an excellent opportunity; yet, when I proceeded to execute my plan, my limbs failed me and I sank to the ground. Again I rose, and exerting all the frmness of which I was master, removed the planks which I had placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat. Te fresh air revived me, and with renewed determination I approached the door of their cottage.
'I knocked. 'Who is there?' said the old man. 'Come in.'
'I entered. 'Pardon this intrusion,' said I; 'I am a traveller in want of a little rest; you would greatly oblige me if you would allow me to remain a few minutes before the fre.'
"Enter,' said De Lacey, 'and I will try in what manner I can to relieve your wants; but, unfortunately, my children are from home, and as I am blind, I am afraid I shall fnd it difcult to procure food for you.'
"Do not trouble yourself, my kind host; I have food; it is warmth and rest only that I need.'
'I sat down, and a silence ensued. I knew that every minute was precious to me, yet I remained irresolute in what manner to commence the interview, when the old man addressed me. 'By your language, stranger, I suppose you are my countryman; are you French?'
"No; but I was educated by a French family and understand that language only. I am now going to claim the protection of some friends, whom I sincerely love, and of whose favour I have some hopes.'
"Are they Germans?'
"No, they are French. But let us change the subject. I am an unfortunate and deserted creature, I look around and I have no relation or friend upon earth. Tese amiable people to whom I go have never seen me and know little of me. I am full of fears, for if I fail there, I am an outcast in the world forever.'
"Do not despair. To be friendless is indeed to be unfortunate, but the hearts of men, when unprejudiced by any obvious self-interest, are full of brotherly love and charity.
Rely, therefore, on your hopes; and if these friends are good and amiable, do not despair.'
"Tey are kind-they are the most excellent creatures in the world; but, unfortunately, they are prejudiced against me. I have good dispositions; my life has been hitherto harmless and in some degree benefcial; but a fatal prejudice clouds their eyes, and where they ought to see a feeling and kind friend, they behold only a detestable monster.'
"Tat is indeed unfortunate; but if you are really blameless, cannot you undeceive them?'
"I am about to undertake that task; and it is on that account that I feel so many overwhelming terrors. I tenderly love these friends; I have, unknown to them, been for many months in the habits of daily kindness towards them; but they believe that I wish to injure them, and it is that prejudice which I wish to overcome.'
"Where do these friends reside?'
"Near this spot.'
'Te old man paused and then continued, 'If you will unreservedly confde to me the particulars of your tale, I perhaps may be of use in undeceiving them. I am blind and cannot judge of your countenance, but there is something in your words which persuades me that you are sincere. I am poor and an exile, but it will aford me true pleasure to be in any way serviceable to a human creature.'
"Excellent man! I thank you and accept your generous ofer. You raise me from the dust by this kindness; and I trust that, by your aid, I shall not be driven from the society and sympathy of your fellow creatures.'
"Heaven forbid! Even if you were really criminal, for that can only drive you to desperation, and not instigate you to virtue. I also am unfortunate; I and my family have been condemned, although innocent; judge, therefore, if I do not feel for your misfortunes.'
"How can I thank you, my best and only benefactor?
From your lips frst have I heard the voice of kindness directed towards me; I shall be forever grateful; and your present humanity a.s.sures me of success with those friends whom I am on the point of meeting.'
"May I know the names and residence of those friends?' 'I paused. Tis, I thought, was the moment of decision, which was to rob me of or bestow happiness on me forever. I struggled vainly for frmness sufcient to answer him, but the efort destroyed all my remaining strength; I sank on the chair and sobbed aloud. At that moment I heard the steps of my younger protectors. I had not a moment to lose, but seizing the hand of the old man, I cried, 'Now is the time! Save and protect me! You and your family are the friends whom I seek. Do not you desert me in the hour of trial!'
"Great G.o.d!' exclaimed the old man. 'Who are you?'
'At that instant the cottage door was opened, and Felix, Safe, and Agatha entered. Who can describe their horror and consternation on beholding me? Agatha fainted, and Safe, unable to attend to her friend, rushed out of the cottage. Felix darted forward, and with supernatural force tore me from his father, to whose knees I clung, in a transport of fury, he dashed me to the ground and struck me violently with a stick. I could have torn him limb from limb, as the lion rends the antelope. But my heart sank within me as with bitter sickness, and I refrained. I saw him on the point of repeating his blow, when, overcome by pain and anguish, I quitted the cottage, and in the general tumult escaped unperceived to my hovel.'
Chapter 16.
'Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge. I could with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its inhabitants and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery.
'When night came I quitted my retreat and wandered in the wood; and now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings.
I was like a wild beast that had broken the toils, destroying the objects that obstructed me and ranging through the wood with a staglike swifness. Oh! What a miserable night I pa.s.sed! Te cold stars shone in mockery, and the bare trees waved their branches above me; now and then the sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst the universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest or in enjoyment; I, like the arch-fend, bore a h.e.l.l within me, and fnding myself unsympathized with, wished to tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed the ruin.
'But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became fatigued with excess of bodily exertion and sank on the damp gra.s.s in the sick impotence of despair.
Tere was none among the myriads of men that existed who would pity or a.s.sist me; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No; from that moment I declared everlasting war against the species, and more than all, against him who had formed me and sent me forth to this insupportable misery.
'Te sun rose; I heard the voices of men and knew that it was impossible to return to my retreat during that day.
Accordingly I hid myself in some thick underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours to refection on my situation.
'Te pleasant sunshine and the pure air of day restored me to some degree of tranquillity; and when I considered what had pa.s.sed at the cottage, I could not help believing that I had been too hasty in my conclusions. I had certainly acted imprudently. It was apparent that my conversation had interested the father in my behalf, and I was a fool in having exposed my person to the horror of his children. I ought to have familiarized the old De Lacey to me, and by degrees to have discovered myself to the rest of his family, when they should have been prepared for my approach.
But I did not believe my errors to be irretrievable, and after much consideration I resolved to return to the cottage, seek the old man, and by my representations win him to my party.
'Tese thoughts calmed me, and in the afernoon I sank into a profound sleep; but the fever of my blood did not allow me to be visited by peaceful dreams. Te horrible scene of the preceding day was forever acting before my eyes; the females were fying and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father's feet. I awoke exhausted, and fnding that it was already night, I crept forth from my hiding-place, and went in search of food.