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The messenger said, that the emir of that district had threatened to send him to Bteddeen, to be imprisoned. Asaad replied, that he was ready to go to prison and to death. He was engaged in daily disputations with the patriarch and others. His countenance wore a shade of melancholy, and his eyes were red with weeping.
When it was proposed by the messenger to interfere with English authority for his rescue, he said such a course might exasperate his enemies, and cost him his life: it would be better to wait a while, and leave it for Providence to open a way for his escape.
This a.s.surance of his steadfastness was like a cordial to our spirits, and was not without a good influence on some that are about us. By the grace of G.o.d, he will witness a good confession before the dignitaries both of church and state, and by the same grace, he may open the eyes of some of them to the truth as it is in Jesus. To him that was with Daniel and with the three children in their dangers, we commend him.
24. Called on the consul to inquire what could be done for the protection or relief of Asaad. He recommended a course of moderation and forbearance, and said it was not customary to extend English protection to natives, when abroad on their own business.
26. Two young emirs from Hadet called. I asked one of them "Where is Asaad Shidiak at present?"
He replied, "He is with the patriarch."
"And is he contented there?"
"Not very well contented. But what should he do, poor fellow, necessity is laid upon him."
This remark proves to us, that it is not a secret among the priests and emirs, that Asaad is detained against his will.
_March 1._ A youth called this morning, and said Asaad Shidiak sent me salutation. He showed me a line he had received from Asaad the day before, saying, "If you will pa.s.s this way about midnight, I will go with you to Beyroot." Owing to some circ.u.mstance, the young man did not go to the convent, and now he proposed to take a horse, by which Asaad may escape to-night.
As we had not perfect confidence in the youth, we did nothing, but having ascertained his plan, left him to go on as he chose. In the evening, we had a season of prayer, particularly on his account.
_Escapes and returns to Beyroot._
2. Rose early, and repaired to the room, where Asaad would have been, had he come; but there were no tidings from him. Little expectation remained of his coming to-day, and we were not without our fears that the attempt had miscarried. It was not long, however, before it was announced, that Asaad was at the door.
The meeting was one of great joy and thanksgiving to us all.--After a little rest and refreshment, he gave us a brief account of his escape.
He had not seen the youth, who had undertaken to befriend him, but finding he did not call the night before, as he expected, he resolved not to wait another day. Therefore, at about twelve o'clock last night, having written a paper and left it on his bed, with the quotation, "Come out of her my people," &c. he set off on foot, committing himself to G.o.d for strength and protection. The darkness was such, that he often found himself out of his road, sometimes miring in mud, and sometimes wading in rivers. After some hours of weariness and anxiety, he came to the sh.o.r.e of the sea, where he found a large boat thrown up, under which he cast himself, and obtained a little rest. After this, he continued his walk without interruption, till he reached Beyroot.
In the course of the forenoon, a messenger came from the neighbouring shekh, or sheriff, requesting Asaad to come and see him; adding, that if he did not come, he would watch an opportunity to take his life. The messenger came a second time, and returned without accomplishing his object. We afterwards wrote a line to the shekh to say, that if he would favour us with a call in person and take a cup of coffee, he could have the privilege of an interview with Asaad. Just as the note was sent, the consul providentially came in, and the shekh found him ready to give him a seasonable reprimand for presuming to threaten a person under English protection. The shekh declared, that he had never sent such a message; that the man who brought it was but an a.s.s, and said it from his own brain; that having heard of Asaad's arrival, he merely wished to see whether the reports respecting his insanity were true or false; that Asaad was his bosom friend, his own son, and that whatever he had was his; and that as for church, and priests, and patriarch, he cared for none of them.
Towards evening, the youth already mentioned entered the house, ready to faint with excessive fear and fatigue. He had fled from the mountains in all haste, under the absurd apprehension, that he should be suspected and taken up as an accomplice with Asaad. Having thrown himself upon a seat, and taken a little breath, he began to relate what had happened.
He was at the convent, when it was first discovered that Asaad had fled.
The patriarch and his train were occupied in the religious services of the morning, so that no great sensation was at first apparent among them. One individual spoke boldly in favour of Asaad, saying, "Why should he not leave you? What inducement had he to remain here? What had he here to do? What had he to enjoy? Books he had none; friendly society none; conversation against religion abundant; insults upon his opinions and his feelings abundant. Why should he not leave you?"
Others, especially the great ones, pitied the poor maniac, (as they called him,) and sent in quest of him to every direction, lest peradventure, he might be found starving in some cavern, or floating in the sea, or dashed in pieces at the bottom of a precipice.
On learning of Asaad all that had pa.s.sed during his absence, we requested him to write a statement of the facts somewhat in the form of a journal. We wished this not only for our own information, but to produce it to those who shall inquire on the subject of Asaad's lunacy hereafter.
_Public Statement of Asaad Shidiak._
_Beyroot, March 1826._
Respected Brethren and Friends,--Since many have heard a report, that I have become insane; and others, that I have become a heretic; I have wished to write an account of myself in few words, and then let every reflecting man judge for himself, whether I am mad, or am slandered; whether following after heresy, or after the truth of the orthodox faith. Every serious man of understanding will concede, that true religion is not that of compulsion, nor that which may be bought and sold; but that which proceeds from attending to the word of G.o.d, believing it, and endeavouring to walk according to it to the glory of G.o.d, and that every one, whose object is solely contention, and who does not obey the truth, but follows after unrighteousness, is far distant from the true religion. This is the standard, by which I would be judged by every one who reads this narrative.
About eight or nine months ago, I was employed, by an American by the name of J. King, in teaching him the Syriac language. At that time, I was very fond of engaging with him in disputatious conversations, to prove him to be in error; but with none but worldly motives, to display my talents and knowledge, and acquire the praise of men. After this, I applied myself to reading of the word of G.o.d with intense interest. Now this person wrote a farewell letter to his friends, in which he excuses himself from uniting himself with the Roman Catholic church. After reading this letter, I found, in the Holy scriptures, many pa.s.sages, which made against the opinions of the writer. These pa.s.sages I selected, and from them and other evidences, composed a reply to him.
But when I was copying the first rough draught of the same, and had arrived to the answer to the last of the objections, which he said prevented his becoming a member of the Roman Catholic church, viz: that the Roman Catholic church teaches, that it is wrong for the common people to possess or read the word of G.o.d but that they ought to learn from the popes and councils, I observed the writer brings a proof against the doctrine from the prophet Isaiah, viz: "To the law and to the testimony, if they speak not according to my word, it is because there is no light in them."
While I was endeavouring to explain this pa.s.sage also, according to the views of the Roman Catholic church, with no other object than the praise of men, and other worldly motives, I chanced to read the 29th chapter of Isaiah, from the 15th verse to the end. I read, and was afraid. I meditated upon the chapter a long while, and feared that I was doing what I did, with a motive far different from the only proper one, viz.
the glory and the pleasure of G.o.d. I therefore threw by my paper without finishing the copy, and applied myself diligently to the reading of the prophecy of Isaiah. I had wished to find, in the prophets, plain proofs, by which to establish, beyond contradiction, that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, so long expected from ancient days; proofs that might be made use of in answer to Moslems and Jews. While I was thus searching, I found various pa.s.sages, that would _bear_ an explanation according to my views, but did not find them sufficient to enforce conviction on others, until I finally came to the 52d chapter 14th verse, and onward to the end of the next chapter.
On finding this testimony, my heart rejoiced, and was exceeding glad, for it removed many dark doubts from my _own_ mind also. From that time, my desire to read the New Testament, that I might discover the best means of acting according to the doctrines of Jesus, was greatly increased. I endeavoured to divest myself of all selfish bias, and loved more and more to inquire into religious subjects. I saw, and continue to see, many of the doctrines of the Roman Catholic church, which I could not believe, and which I found opposed to the truths of the Gospel; and I wished much to find some of her best teachers to explain them to me, that I might see how they proved them from the Holy scriptures. As I was reading an appendix to a copy of the sacred scriptures, printed at Rome by the Propaganda, and searching out the pa.s.sages referred to, for proving the duty of worshipping saints, and other similar doctrines, I found that these proofs failed altogether of establishing the points in question, and that to infer such doctrines from such premises, was even worthy of ridicule. Among other things, in this appendix, I found the very horrible _Neronian_ doctrines, _that it is our duty to destroy heretics_. Now every one knows, that whoever does not believe that the pope is infallible, is a heretic in his opinions.
This doctrine is not merely that it is _allowable_ to kill heretics, but that we are _bound_ to do it. From this I was the more established in my convictions against the doctrines of the pope, and saw that they were the doctrines of the ravenous beast, and not of the gentle lamb. After I had read this, I asked one of the priests in Beyroot respecting this doctrine, and he a.s.sured me, that it was even so as I had read. I then wished to go to some place, though it might be a distant country, that I might find some man of the Roman Catholic church sufficiently learned to prove the doctrine above alluded to.
After this, as I was at Beyroot teaching a few Greek youths the Arabic grammar, I received a letter from his holiness the Maronite patriarch, saying, that if I did not cease from all a.s.sistance whatever to the English, and that if I did not leave them within one day, I should, _ipso facto_, fall under the heaviest excommunication.
Thinking, as I did, that obeying my superiors, in all things not sinful, was well and good, I did not delay to leave, and so went to my friends at Hadet; but still thinking very much on the subject of religion, so that some people thought me melancholy. I loved exceedingly to converse on religious subjects, indeed I took no pleasure in any worldly concerns, and found all worldly possessions vain. After this, I received a second letter from his holiness the patriarch, in which he said thus: "After we had written you the first letter, we wrote you a second; see that you act according to it. And if you fulfil all that was commanded in it, and come up to us when we come to Kesran, we will provide you a situation." But I saw that nothing, in which I was accustomed to take delight, pleased me any longer. I returned again, after some time, to Beyroot; and after I had been there no long time, Hoory Nicolas arrived, brother to his holiness the rev. patriarch, with a request from the latter, to come and see him, which I hastened to do.
Hoory Nicolas then began to converse with me, in the way of reprimand, for being in connexion with the English. I replied that, as we ought not to deny the unity of G.o.d, because the Musselmans believe it, so we ought not to hate the gospel because the English love it. He then began to tell me of the wish of his holiness, the rev. patriarch, that I should come out to him, and of his great love to me; and said that he (the patriarch) had heard, that I had received thirty or forty purses of money from the English; and he a.s.sured me of their readiness not to suffer this to be any hindrance to my coming out from them.
Now if my object were money, as some seemed to think, I had then a fair opportunity to tell him a falsehood, and say, "I indeed received from the English that sum, but I have expended so and so, and cannot leave them unless I restore the whole." In this way I might have contrived to take what I wished. Yet I did not so answer him, but declared to him the truth, how much wages I had received, and which was nothing extraordinary.
He then gave me a paper from his holiness the patriarch, in which he says, "You will have received from us an answer, requesting that when we come to Alma, you will come up and see us. We expect your presence, and, if G.o.d please, we will provide you some proper situation, with an income that shall be sufficient for your sustenance. Delay not your coming, lest the present happy opportunity should pa.s.s by." Knowing, as I did, that many people supposed my object, in continuing with the English, to be gain, I did not delay fulfilling the request of his reverence, hoping to remove this suspicion, and to enjoy an opportunity of speaking the truth without being hired to do it.
So, about the 7th of January, I left Beyroot, with Hoory Nicolas, and arrived at Der Alma the same night. His holiness, the patriarch, was not there. On the next day, when he came, I met him, and saluted him in the road. In the evening he called me into his chamber, and began to ask me questions, that he might discover what I was; and I answered him telling him the whole truth, although this course was opposed to my personal convenience. At this he seemed surprised, for he must have perceived it was contrary to what he had been accustomed to see in me. Afterwards, when I declared to him, that I never had before been a believer, according to the true living faith, he was probably still more astonished. He then asked me if I believed as the Romish church believed. I again told him the truth, that I did not. He asked then what was my faith, and I answered to the following purport, "True and living faith must be divine, connected with hope, love and repentance, and that all these virtues are the gift of G.o.d &c.; that I believed the truth as G.o.d had inspired it; and that it would be but a lie, if I should say that I believed as the Romish church does, while in fact I do not. I must have proofs."
After some conversation like this, he told me that this doctrine of mine was heretical, and that as long as I remained in this state of opinion, he would suffer no one to have intercourse with me in buying and selling, &c. This prohibition of his brought to my mind the words in the Revelation, xiii, 17.[G] Then he gave me to understand, that if, after three days, I did not get back out of this state, I must no more enter the church. At other times, he wished me to swear by the eucharist and by the gospel, that my faith was like the faith of the Roman catholic church. He asked me if I was a Bible man; I replied, "I do not follow the opinions of the Bible men; but if you think me a Bible man on account of the opinions I have advanced, very well."
The sum of what I said was, that without evidence I could not believe what the Romish church believes. From that time, after three days, I did not enter the church for a s.p.a.ce. Some time pa.s.sed again, and the patriarch inquired of me my faith. I then explained to him what I believed respecting the unity and trinity of G.o.d, and that the Messiah was one person with two natures, and that the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and Son. Then arose a disputation about, who is the Vicar that Christ has appointed to explain his law. I answered in substance as I afterwards did in writing, that by reason, and learning, and prayer to G.o.d, with purity of motive, we may know, from the holy scriptures, every thing necessary to our salvation. This was the purport of my reply, which perhaps was not expressed with sufficient clearness, or perhaps I was not able to say it in the manner that was appropriate, for such a tumult and storm were excited in the company that they seemed to me to be intent on overcoming me by dint of vociferation, rather than by argument, and to drown my voice, rather than to understand my opinions.
When, after some days, came bishop Abdalla Blabul and Padre Bernardus of Gzir, the patriarch one day called me to them in his chamber, and asked me what I wished, whether money or office, or whatever it might be, promising to gratify me, speaking of his love to me and of his great interest in my welfare. These professions I know to be sincere, but they are according to the world, and not according to the Gospel. I a.s.sured him that I wanted nothing of the things he had mentioned; that I was submissive and obedient to him; and that if he thought of me, that I had taken money of the English, he was welcome to shut me up in my chamber as to a prison, and take from me every thing that I possessed; that I wished from them merely my necessary food and clothing, and that I would give them this a.s.surance in writing. The bishop and priest then begged me, in presence of the patriarch, to say that my faith was like that of the Romish church. I replied, that I feared to tell a falsehood by saying a thing, while actually, in my reason, I did not believe it.
"But," said they, "the patriarch here will absolve you from the sin of the falsehood." I turned to the Patriarch and put the question whether he would so absolve me. He answered, that he would. I said, "What the law of nature itself condemns, it is out of the power of any man to make lawful." He then again asked me what I wished to do. I said, I wish to go and see the Armenian patriarch Gregory, and inquire of him what I ought to do. He consented, and requested me, when I had done this, to return to him, to which I agreed. I was accompanied by a priest from the station of the patriarch to the College of Ain Warka, where I found Hoory Joseph Shaheen, with whom I conversed a considerable time, and with great pleasure; for I found that for himself, he did not believe that the pope was infallible in matters of faith, that is to say, unless in concert with the congregated church. I then began to confess to him: but when I saw that he held steadfastly some opinions for no other reason than that the church so believed, and without bringing any proper evidence of the fact, viz. from councils or from the fathers, and burst out upon me with exceeding bitter words, saying, "Know that the church neither deceives, nor is deceived, and be quiet;" and when I wished him to instruct me according to the word of G.o.d, with the simple object of glorifying G.o.d and fulfilling his will, I saw that he was not disposed to support any opinion because it was according to the word of G.o.d, but because so thought the church; and I saw him also ready to retain these opinions, although I should bring the strongest evidences against them from the holy Scriptures. He told me that it was impossible for him to teach any thing contrary to the council of Trent. So I found I could not receive his system, because, though you should shew him that it was wrong, he would not give it up, lest with it he should be obliged to give up his office. I therefore told him, you are bound, i. e. shut up as between walls, by the doctrines of the pope and the council of Trent.
In conversation on the images, he would have proved their propriety from Baronius' church history. We found this author quoting the sacred scriptures to prove that our Saviour sent a picture of himself to the king of Abgar. I declared that it was false, in so far as he stated that the _Gospel_ made any such statement, and on that account I could not believe the story. To this he gave me no answer. After this, as we were reading the book, and found a statement respecting the bishops collected in Constantinople, to the number of 313; that they decreed the abolition of the use of images, because it was idolatrous, and that in the clearest terms,--I asked him the question, "If an a.s.sembly composed of the bishops of the church were infallible, how is it that this council is said to have committed an error?"
About this time, I heard that a certain individual wished to converse with me on the subject of religion, which rejoiced me exceedingly, and I was impatient for an interview. He came on a Sabbath day to Ain Warka, for the study of the Arabic grammar, according to his custom, and we had a short conversation together on works unlawful on the Sabbath day, and other subjects. He then excused himself from further conversation for want of time; but promised that when we should meet again, he hoped to have a sufficient opportunity to dwell on these subjects at large. I continued at Ain Warka the whole week, reading with the rest at prayers and confessing to Hoory Joseph above mentioned; and on the next Lord's day, the Armenian priest aforesaid came again, and I fully expected to have time and opportunity to ascertain his opinions; but I was disappointed again; for he wished to have the dispute carried on in writing, and to have an a.s.sistant with him, with other conditions.
In these circ.u.mstances I failed of my object; but was on the whole more inclined than before to receive the doctrines of the Romish church; since the priest had promised to bring his evidence, on all points, from the word of G.o.d, that they (the papists) were walking in light and not in darkness.
At this time one informed me that his holiness, bishop Jacob, superior of the convent of Bzumar, wished to see me. And because Hoory Joseph, at first told me that this state in which I had fallen was a temptation of Satan, and at one time shewed me that it was usual for people, when they came to the age of manhood, to be tempted on the subject of their religion, and at another, a.s.sured me, that this was a state of delirium:--and again, because I had heard formerly that this bishop Jacob had himself been delirious, and that he was a man of information, I wished very much to see him; and on the same day I went to Hoory Joseph and declared to him plainly my opinions, and shewed him that the beast mentioned in the Revelation was a figure, as the lamb evidently was, and how dreadful must be the torments of those who worship the image of the beast. I then disclosed to him my intention of going up to the convent of Bzumar, where were the patriarch Gregory, bishop Jacob, and the Armenian priest already mentioned.
I set off the same day, and on my arrival saluted the patriarch, and on the same night reasoned on the subjects of faith, hope and love. It appeared that the patriarch's opinion was, that a man may be possessed of living faith, faith unto salvation, although he should feel nothing in his heart. I answered him with a quotation from St. Paul, "With the heart man believeth unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." But this did not convince him. He explained the _heart_ to mean the _will_. It then appeared to me that he was not a true believer, and from that time forward I could not believe him, as I would believe a real Christian, but I wished to hear his worldly arguments. On the following day, I asked him how it can he said, that the pope was infallible if there were no proofs of the fact to be brought. I asked him if this pretension of the pope was that of an apostle, or a prophet? if an apostle, or a prophet, he could not be believed without miracles, and that we christians were not to believe any one, though he were to bring down fire from Heaven.[H] His replies to me were weak; and after considerable conversation on what is the church of Christ, on the ignorance that is pardonable, &c. he began to prove that if the pope is not infallible, then there is _no religion_, _no gospel_, and even _no G.o.d_. But I observed all his proofs so weak, that I could not be convinced, and I fell into deep perplexity as to what I should do. For sometimes I greatly endeavoured to submit my judgment to his rules and opinions, and made these efforts until my very head would ache. The next day I asked him what was that _great city_, ruling over the kings of the earth, mentioned in the Rev. xvii, 18?
After he had brought his book of commentaries, he answered that it was Rome, which is also called spiritual Babylon, or Babel, and after wishing me to yield to his opinion or that of the book, he said nothing more. From this time I was with the patriarch every day for three or four hours, and his best advice to me was, to pray to St. Antony of Padua, together with one repet.i.tion of the Lord's prayer, and one of Hail Mary, &c. every day for three days. When I was thus in doubt from the weakness of their proofs, one of the monks said to me, "If you wish to know _good tobacco_, ask the patriarch." I hoped that this priest would explain to me those doctrines of the Romish church, which I could not believe; so I went into his chamber and questioned him very particularly on all points. He expressed his wish that we might discuss together all the points one by one, but on condition that the patriarch Joseph should appoint him to do so. He told me he had in his possession a book refuting the opinions of Luther and Calvin. I begged permission to read it; but he refused, telling me that the doctrines of the church all remained unrefuted. He wished me to go down to the patriarch Joseph on this business. So after a stay of four days from my arrival, I departed for Ain Warka according to my promise to Hoory Joseph.
Here I found one of my friends of whom I had heard that he had been very much astonished at my connexion with the Bible men. After I had seen him, and had conversed with him a little on some points, he would no longer hear me, fearing among other things lest he should be crazed.
When we touched on the subject of the great city above mentioned, he told me that he had seen a book of commentaries on the Revelation, which made the city clearly to be Rome. At this I wondered greatly, since the meaning was so clear that not even the teachers of the Romish church herself could deny it. I then finished my confession to Hoory Joseph Shaheen, and about sunset the same day, went down to the patriarch to the convent Alma. He requested me again to write a paper stating that my faith was according to the faith of the Romish church. From this I excused myself, begging that such a thing might not be required of me, for the council of Trent had added nothing to the rule of faith, which was established by that of Nice, which begins, "I believe in one G.o.d,"
&c. A short s.p.a.ce after, I gave him my advice, with modest arguments, and mild suggestions, on his duty to cause the gospel to be preached in the church among the Maronite people; and offered him the opinion that this should be done by the priests in the vulgar language, every Sabbath day, for the s.p.a.ce of one or two hours; and if this should appear too burthensome to the people, to take off from them some of the feast days.
After this, I remained silent in my chamber near to his own; and as there came to me a few of the deacons of the patriarch, and others, I read to them at their request in the New Testament printed in Rome. But in a little time after, I entered my room, and found in it none of all the books that had been there, neither New Testament nor any other, and I knew that the patriarch had given the order for this purpose, for he reproved me for reading the gospel to them, but he could accuse me of no false or erroneous explanations, or that I taught them any thing heretical.
One day after this, he called me to his presence and began to threaten me in a most unusual manner. I said, "What do you wish of me, your reverence? What have I done, and what would you have me do? What is my sin, except that I conversed with some individuals, shewing them the errors of the church of Rome?" Then he requested me again, to say, that I believed as did that church, and said, grasping me firmly by the chin, "see how I will take you if you do not repent." I begged him to appoint some one to shew me the truth, by way of discussion, but he would not, and continued expressing his own sentiment, that we are bound to hold fast to the church, even to such a length, that if she should even reject the gospel, we should reject it too.
And here I wish to say a word to every reader that regards and loves the truth; how does such doctrine appear to you? and how could I believe in all which the Romish church holds, without _knowing_ all of it? and how could I say, without a lie, that I believe, when I do not believe?
When I saw the patriarch breaking out with an exceeding loud and unusual voice, I was afraid that I should be found among "_the fearful_," (Rev.
xxi. 8.) and rose to depart. When I reached the door, I turned and said to him, "I will hold fast the religion of Jesus Christ, and I am ready for the sake of it to shed my blood; and though you should all become infidels, yet will not I;" and so left the room.