Forgiving Hearts: For Better or Worse Part 11

Hannah cracked an egg into a large bowl. "Dinner's not until six, right?"

"Yeah, but I know my mother. She always buys this humongous turkey that she can barely lift in and out of the oven. I told her to wait until I get there so I can keep her from dropping it on the floor or worse, hurting her back again."

Another egg hit the edge of the bowl. "Are you still okay with me going Black Friday shopping in Atlanta with Mia tomorrow?"

A tiny crease formed on his brow. No, he wasn't okay with it. How could he be? Mitch.e.l.l was in Atlanta. He carried the empty bowl to the sink and rinsed it out. "I don't mind you going. I just don't understand why you want to subject yourself to the crowds and overall lunacy for the sake of a few good deals."

Hannah poured the beaten eggs in a pan. "The crowds and lunacy are part of what makes it fun. The other reason is I hardly ever get to see Mia. This is a chance for us to spend time together without worrying about our kids or our husbands."

He turned around to face her. "Then do it. Sophia and I will be fine with Mom. We're going to watch football and eat leftovers."

She scooped up the eggs and put them on a plate with a few slices of toast. "Here's your breakfast."

"Aren't you eating?"

Not looking at him, she walked over to the sink. "I'm not hungry and if you want to leave by eight, I need to get going."

Jackson watched her leave the kitchen with a frown. Something wasn't right, but he didn't have any idea what it was.

Hannah watched as Jackson let himself out the back door, a large, colorful basket dangling from his hand. After delivering a stern warning to Freya, he began placing the pastel eggs in a random pattern all over the yard. She should be out there with him, not hiding in the house avoiding him because she was afraid one look or word might have her confessing all the things she'd been doing.

She was a horrible person: an unfaithful wife and an unfeeling mother. What else could she be when she was living two lives? And how much longer could she keep this up without losing her mind?

Her parents had spent yesterday with them. She, Jackson, and Sophia were going to visit his mom in Cochran tomorrow. In between those two events was today, Easter Sunday. When she was younger, Hannah used to love Easter with its message of hope and deliverance. Now it was another day to sit in church and be glad none of those around her could see the wickedness in her heart.

Not able to stand her thoughts, she stepped outside. "Haven't you finished yet?" she called to Jackson.

"Almost," he replied as he turned around to face her. "I didn't think you could get any more beautiful, but I was wrong."

Words trembled on her lips words that would destroy Jackson's happiness forever. You're the one who's beautiful. I might be pretty on the outside, but I'm ugly where it counts. Forcing a smile, she said, "I've got the battery charging for the camera."

After disposing of the last two eggs, he took hold of her hand and swung it gently as they walked back into the house. "Is there anything else we need to do?"

"Not for Sophia, but you need to pack your suitcase."

He put the basket on the kitchen counter. "I've got to remember to put in some old clothes. Mom wants me to take a look at her car. She says the mechanic in town doesn't know what he's doing."

"I'm going to check on my cla.s.ses."

When she would have walked away, he drew her back toward him. "I'm starting to get jealous of those cla.s.ses. You spend more time on your laptop than you do with me."

Hannah pulled away from him. "That's not true, Jackson."

His fingers gently lifted her chin. "You don't have to get defensive. I was teasing."

"You didn't sound like you were teasing," she replied in a voice that sounded dangerously close to tears.

He released her and stepped back. "I'm sorry; I'll make it more obvious next time. I need to start my packing."

As she watched him walk away, the tears she'd held inside flowed down her cheeks. She couldn't keep on like this. She was living a lie, and it wasn't fair to Jackson or Sophia.

Jackson rolled over and reached for Hannah. Nothing but air and cool sheets met his outstretched hand. A wistful look entered his eyes; only in his dreams did she sleep with him. He glance went from the clock to the baby monitor. Plumping up his pillow, he lay on his back and closed his eyes. His mind drifted back to the previous day.

He'd come home early and found Hannah on her laptop while Sophia watched from her playpen. A delightful blend of sugar and cinnamon filled the air. As her eyes lifted to meet his, Jackson perceived the same curious expression in those green depths that he'd glimpsed on and off for several weeks. During the evening that followed, niggling fears teased his thoughts, leaving him awash with nameless suspicions.

There wasn't anything he could define or even ask Hannah about. Just little things that looked innocent when examined separately, but appeared troublesome when put together. Not having anything tangible to work with, it had been easy to rationalize the subtle changes he'd observed.

Moving to a new position in bed did nothing to remove his unease. A sense of impending doom continued to plague him. In spite of the coolness of the room, his face and hands were damp with perspiration. Flinging off the covers, he stalked to the door. Telling Freya to stay, he turned in the direction of Hannah's room. Just outside her door, he hesitated.

What was he planning to do? Wake her up to ask if everything was okay? Disturb her sleep so she could a.s.sure him that the heaviness in his stomach was the result of eating too many snickerdoodles? And that the tightness in his chest was attributable to the coffee he'd drunk before going to bed? She'd think he'd lost his mind.

Turning around, Jackson walked back through the dark house and stopped in the living room to pick up his Bible. He'd wasted enough time worrying about something he couldn't even explain. Not until he was in his room did he notice what was tucked inside the pages. For a moment, he stared at the pale blue envelope as his agitated brain tried to find a logical reason for it to be there. With trembling fingers, he removed the paper within and read the words it contained.

I've gone to be with Mitch.e.l.l. Take care of Sophia for me. Hannah A tortured groan erupted from his lips as the paper dropped from his nerveless fingers. Pa.s.sing a hand over his face, he sank down on the couch. Was this some kind of joke? Hannah couldn't be gone. He'd just said goodnight to her a few hours ago. He came to his feet so fast he almost fell forward. Stumbling down the hallway, he flung the door open to her room and flipped on the light. Still not believing the evidence of his eyes, he jerked the blankets off the bed.

She was gone. Hannah had left him. With trembling fingers, he slowly opened the door and peered inside Sophia's room, his eyes straining to see into the crib. In the dim glow of the nightlight, he could just make out his daughter's small form. A ragged sigh slipped from his lungs.

On shaky legs, he returned to the living room and grabbed the missive from where it had fallen. Fierce anger rose within him. How could she leave in the middle of the night with nothing but a few carelessly scrawled words on a piece of paper?

He reached for a silver framed picture of Hannah and Sophia. "Why G.o.d?" he asked in an anguished voice. "Why did You give me such happiness only to s.n.a.t.c.h it away?" Tears he hadn't been aware of spilled from his face onto his arm. He'd fooled himself into believing she was content with him. He should have known he couldn't make her happy.

The pinkish light of dawn was appearing on the horizon when Jackson slowly rose to his feet. His tears had long since dried, leaving his heart encased in a numbness that was strangely comforting. He stuffed the note into his pocket. Walking into Hannah's bedroom, he went through the motions of making the bed.

In the sunlight filtering through the blinds, he saw what he'd missed before. Jackson picked up the ring resting on the nightstand. Then he folded the note around the ring, slid them both in the envelope and carried it into his room. Opening the top drawer of his dresser, he put the envelope under a pile of socks.

As he closed the door behind him, he drew a long, haggard breath. G.o.d help him, he'd married Hannah knowing she loved Mitch.e.l.l. He had to think he was getting what he deserved.

Chapter Six.

Two years later...

Jackson glanced at the clock on the opposite wall for the fiftieth time in the last half hour.

"Daddy, how much longer? My ears hurt so bad."

He drew Sophia off the chair next to him and onto his lap. "Not much longer now, pumpkin."

Hannah's green eyes stared up at him. "Will the doctor be able to help my ears, Daddy?"

"Of course he will."

She picked up his hand and turned the gold band on his hand. "Why do you wear this ring?"

"Because someone I love very much gave it to me."

She reached up and cupped her hand over his ear. "Is it my mommy?" she whispered.

Jackson smiled tenderly down into her face. "Yes, it's your mommy."

"I wish she would come to our house again. She smelled nice."

Like a summer garden. "Do you want me to read to you?" he offered in an attempt to change the subject. "I brought Frog and Toad."

"Okay, Daddy, but I sure wish the doctor would hurry."

A few minutes later the door opened, and a young woman in yellow scrubs stepped into the room. "Sophia Steadman."

"Daddy, that's me."

Jackson shoved the book into Sophia's backpack and set her gently on her feet. "Yes, pumpkin, that's you." Taking her hand, he approached the woman.

"Hi, Sophia, I'm Stephanie. If you'll follow me, we'll get you ready to see Dr. Hernandez."

Stephanie led them into a room that was relieved from sterility by paintings of Winnie the Pooh adorning the walls.

"Look, Daddy, it's Pooh."

Jackson lifted her onto the examination table. "I see him."

"Mr. Steadman, what brings you and Sophia here today?"

"She's been complaining about her ears. Last night she started running a fever."

"Any drainage?" Stephanie asked as she keyed the information into the tablet she carried.

"No, ma'am."

She reached for an ear thermometer lying on the counter. "Sophia, do you know what this is?"

"Yes, ma'am. My daddy sticks it in my ear sometimes. Last night he did it a lot."

Stephanie exchanged an amused glance with Jackson. "Yes, well, I'm going to do it again. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, ma'am."

As she slid the nozzle into Sophia's ear, she said, "That's a pretty bow in your hair."

"My nana got it for me."

Jackson was trying to maneuver where he could see the reading. Stephanie caught him and said, "It's a hundred point five."

"It was over a hundred and two last night."

She nodded. "That happens with infections in children. Dr. Hernandez will be with you soon. If you're a really good girl, Sophia, I'll have a surprise for you before you leave."

Sophia's eyes got big. "I'll be good, won't I, Daddy?"

Jackson tapped her on the nose. "You're always good."

Another chapter of Frog and Toad had been read before Dr. Hernandez made his appearance. He confirmed what Jackson had suspected: Sophia had an ear infection. Jackson was given a prescription to fill and told to return if things didn't improve in a few days. After the doctor left, Jackson grabbed Sophia's backpack and took her by the hand. When they reached the check-out area, Stephanie reappeared from around the corner holding a lollipop.

She crouched down in front of Sophia. "I heard you were a good girl. I hope you feel better soon."

Jackson thanked her and steered Sophia out the door. Knowing they'd have a long wait at the drug store, he went through a McDonald's drive-thru and picked up a Happy Meal. It was after seven by the time they pulled into their driveway.

Glancing at his watch, Jackson slumped down on the couch. Where had the evening gone? Sophia had been bathed, coaxed to take her medicine and given a snack. Freya had been fed, let outside and was now asleep on the rug by the front door. On the couch next to him, his reason for living was meticulously undressing three baby dolls of various sizes.

"Daddy, could you put this dress on Casey?"

"I thought we decided to leave Casey in her pajamas."

"No, that was Sandy. Casey doesn't have any clothes on."

"Hmm. I see what you mean." He took the doll and the frilly pink dress. His phone rang while he was trying to get one of the doll's arms in the dress. "I think Casey has outgrown her dress." Laying the doll on the table, he reached for the phone.

"Hey, Laurel."

"I was calling about Sophia. How is she?"

"She's got an ear infection. She can't go back to preschool until she's been fever-free for twenty-four hours."

"In that case, drop her off at the usual time, and she can stay home with me."

"I hate to ask you to give up your entire day."

"Jackson, where do you get these weird ideas? I love watching Sophia, and Amanda loves having her here to play with when she gets home from school."

"But don't you usually meet Colton for lunch on Wednesdays?"

"Are we that predictable?"

Jackson voice softened. "It's not predictable; it's called being in love."

Laurel laughed. "I can't deny that, but you don't know Colton very well if you think he'd be comfortable eating lunch with me knowing a friend needs our help."

"Both of you have been so good to me and Sophia since Hannah left."