Forbidden Lessons Part 9

Charlotte looked at Susie who was smiling like the Sphinx and then back at Laura. She saw how pale Laura looked, and the nervousness in her eyes.

"Christ, Christ, Christ on a bike. b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l. You're not joking? What and when and how and why, and why didn't you tell us?"

When had it started? Laura wasn't even sure where to begin.

She did her best. How she'd liked him from the start and felt a connection with him. How he'd stopped and talked with her several times. How they'd been alone in his cla.s.sroom. How it had suddenly... just happened. And how he had asked her to stay with him that weekend. She didn't even get to the details of what happened.

"He's your teacher, Laura. He's so old. It's just wrong." Margery was distressed and confused.

Charlotte was shocked but fascinated. "He is so gorgeous. I just can't believe he would go for someone not even in the sixth form. This is true right? I mean this isn't some joke between you and Susie?"

Susie was getting impatient. "So did it go well this weekend? Did you guys do it? Was he any good?"

Laura went red.

"Welcome to the club then," Susie said. "You can give us a detailed account when you're ready." What she meant was when Margery wasn't there, as Margery would only be horrified rather than intrigued by the details.

She left the room, and Charlotte fired dozens more questions at Laura, mainly pertaining to the early days of the affair. "I just can't figure out how it could all have been going on under my nose."

Laura did her best to answer her questions. She was relieved that Charlotte wasn't aggrieved at being kept in the dark, and didn't seem to be against it all, unlike Margery.

"Nothing was actually happening, so there was nothing to see."

"But there must have been all these hidden undercurrents. Why didn't anyone else pick up on it?"

Laura cast a glance at Margery, who was folding away clothes. "I noticed him always staring at her," Margery said. "But I never thought anything like this would happen."

She was actually upset. She genuinely disapproved. Laura felt a pang.

"Neither did I, not in a million years. It just got to the point that nothing else mattered." She wanted Margery to understand. But Margery had never been in love, let alone reciprocally.

"He kissed you in his cla.s.sroom. What if someone had seen you?"

This was what Laura had been trying to explain. How when it happened that wasn't even a consideration, not in the moment. Afterwards of course it became a terrifying concern.

Charlotte wanted to ask Laura for more of the juicy details of the past weekend, but Margery was putting a dampener on things. She and Susie would have to wait until they could get Laura alone.

"You're not going to sleep for hours, are you?" Susie said to Laura when they were in the bathroom. There was a shared area with a row of basins separate from the bath and shower rooms. "Me neither, but then I never do. Let's go out on the fire escape again."

Outside it was freezing cold, but they had wrapped up with dressing gowns and sat huddled on the hard ironwork of the stairs.

"So tell me all about it," Susie said. "I a.s.sume you actually did it. Was he any good?"

"I don't really have anything to compare it to."

"Did you enjoy it? Did he get you off?"

Laura covered her face in her hands, feeling embarra.s.sed.

"I'll take that as a yes," Susie said. "At least with a older guy they should have some idea of what to do. Probably the best way to lose it really, instead of some schoolboy fumbling around."

"Darius wasn't like that was he?" Laura asked.

"I wouldn't know, we haven't gone there yet. I expect he's pretty au fait with what to do since he's dated older girls."

Laura was surprised how nonchalant Susie was about Darius's history. She herself felt uncomfortable thinking about how inexperienced she herself was compared to Mr Rydell.

"Does he want to see you again?" Susie asked.

"Yes, but I don't know when. We haven't arranged anything."

"Let me know when you do, I'm happy to cover for you if you like."

Laura looked through the darkness to the edge of the building, where it blocked the view of the groundsman's cottages. Strange to think he was only a few hundred yards from her. Was he asleep? Or awake, reading or working late?"

"He told me he loved me," she said.

"Wow." Susie was impressed. "It makes sense though given the risk he's taking. You don't just do that on a whim. Unless you're Mr Peters."

Laura laughed. "He's so creepy. I can't believe so many Sixth Form girls have fallen for him in the past."

Susie shuddered. "More fool them. Any St Duncan's boy would be better than that."

"Don't you worry at all about getting found out?" Laura asked Susie. "If you got caught with Darius I mean, and expelled."

"No, not really."

"Wouldn't your parents be mad?"

"No madder than before. They'd send me somewhere else again, and I'd see how I liked it," Susie said.

"My parents would be devastated." With the euphoria wearing off, Laura was starting to worry.

"You can stop you know, if it's more stress than it's worth."

Could she? Laura felt she was a different person now. She couldn't undo what was done. The funny thing was that she also felt more like her old self than she had done in weeks. Since she first saw him. He had changed her into something new, and yet part of her had been changed back.

Margery lay in her bed, desperately unhappy. She had been woken by the sounds of Laura and Susie creeping out. She had no idea where they were going. Charlotte was fast asleep.

She felt lonelier than ever. All the others seemed to think what Laura was doing was fascinating and wonderful, but it worried her sick. It didn't help that her own father was a teacher, and a languages teacher as well. Somehow she felt it to be a personal wrong.

Then there was this awful dance in a couple of weeks' time. Her dread at the thought of it was growing. If there was any way she could have escaped it she would have done so. If only it was on the Friday night she could have got her father to pick her up early for half-term.

But the Lower School dance was on the Thursday night, so she had no choice but to endure it. And endure the next day of gossiping and post mortems which in many ways would be even worse.

Could she pretend to be ill? She had foresight enough to know that Grace Grant would smell a rat at the timing, and practically force her to go.

She hadn't managed to buy anything more suitable to wear at the weekend. And she couldn't explain it to her father because he would just say that she had lots of clothes. The thought of the rah-rah skirt, hanging in the wardrobe, hung even more heavily on her heart. She would be a laughing stock.

Laura had deliberately not showered that evening so the memory of Mr Rydell would still be all over her skin for one more night. Still chilled from the cold night air she hugged herself under the blankets, wishing she was with him. They hadn't made any concrete plans of when and where to meet next.

Her diary had been sadly neglected but it had fulfilled its purpose. Its pages were no good to her anymore now her fantasies had risen off them.

It was also far too dangerous to write anything down.

She lay there, her body yearning for him. He had flicked a switch on that she couldn't turn off. She burned for him, his company as well as his touch. It had only been a few hours since she had left him but it already felt like days.

16. Stolen moments.

When Laura walked into the German cla.s.sroom Mr Rydell caught her eye and smiled. It was very brief but it was enough. They were good. They were a "they".

The whole lesson felt electric to her. She had this huge secret that almost no one else knew anything about. The man at the blackboard was no longer merely her German teacher. He had chosen her. She knew what he looked like naked, how it felt to be kissed by him, how his body felt against hers.

Looking at him, tall and authoritative, explaining some elements of German grammar, she wanted to be with him so badly it hurt.

It was impossible to put these thoughts out of her mind, but Laura was still just about able to concentrate on the lesson. It would have helped if Charlotte hadn't kept nudging her every other minute.

At the end of the lesson he asked her to stay behind.

"I know I have to avoid singling you out, but I couldn't let you go today without making sure you were okay," he said.

She told him she was fine.

"The weekend was amazing. You were amazing. I spent most of the lesson wishing I could dismiss the cla.s.s and take you away for a repeat performance."

She saw the heat in his eyes. He didn't risk touching her as there would be people walking past the cla.s.sroom at this time.

"Half term is just another couple of weeks away. Can you come back a couple of days early - say you're staying with a friend - and stay with me? If I can even hold out that long."

Laura smiled at him. She loved that he wanted her so much. "I'll manage it."

"Great. I can pick you up from wherever you need. And you have my number."

She had memorised it by heart.

"You'd better run to your next cla.s.s. If I can figure out something for this week, I will."

Her heart singing, she hurried off.

Charlotte was waiting for her around the corner. "Everything okay?"

"All good."

"That's a relief. I wasn't sure if he was going to change his mind on you again. I was watching for smouldering glances but he seemed very well controlled."

"He wants me to stay with him at the end of half-term," Laura told her. "I can't use Margery again though."

"I think she'd still agree, but it is awkward. I wish I could help. What about Susie?"

"I'll ask her. She said earlier it should be ok."

They walked onto the next cla.s.s which was Maths. Susie had bagsed them desks on the back row. She was eager to find out how German had gone with Laura seeing Mr Rydell again.

"You must really regret picking Geography instead," Charlotte said.

"Yes and no. Geography has its charms."

Charlotte could think of few things less charming than Mrs Ayers.

"She is a problem," Susie agreed.

The maths lesson started, and they were forced to stop talking.

Margery was sitting in the Michaelmas Lower School common room with her sewing basket and the dreaded rah-rah skirt, trying to find some way to make it look more presentable for the dance. She was close to despair.

Pride held her back from asking the others for help. A wall had gone up since her disapproval of Laura's relationship with Mr Rydell. It was a wall entirely built by Margery because the others didn't mind that Margery minded. Laura actually felt bad that Margery was upset about it. But Margery struggled with it, and the distance grew.

It was here that Teresa Hubert chanced upon her. "Mending something?" She noticed that Margery had some sequins and guessed what was up. "You're not going to wear that to the dance, are you? You really can't wear that. Didn't you find a dress on exeat?"

Margery heart slumped further with misery.

Teresa saw her opportunity. "I'm sure we can find you a dress. Andrea has two. She's still deciding which to wear. I'm sure you'll fit the other."

Teresa had two henchwomen, one small, one large and lumpen. This latter was Andrea. Margery was mortified to be put in a size bracket with her. Teresa herself was thin in a spindly way.

But the offer of a dress was a lifeline in a storm. "She wouldn't mind?" Margery asked. She had no idea what the dress would be like, but anything was better than a knee-length rah-rah skirt. Even a fourth former wouldn't want to wear that.

"She'd only be too happy." What Teresa meant was that she would only be too happy for Andrea to lend the dress, so Teresa would finally have some leverage over Margery. Andrea wouldn't be given any choice over whether she lent it or not.

There were a few stolen moments. The art room, which was usually left open but was frequently unoccupied, was nearby the Modern Languages block. They met there a couple of times during break.