Forbidden Lessons Part 20

"What a day. What a glorious, glorious day."

The four of them sat in the courtyard that evening basking in their victory. It was worth the exhaustion.

"I honestly think I feel better about today than the first time I played for the school eleven," Charlotte said.

Their contentment was short-lived as the shadow of Mrs Ayers fell upon them. "Susie Clarke and Charlotte Bevan, your socks are down. A demerit point each!"

"Oh for G.o.d's sake, it's Sat.u.r.day night," Susie said.

"A detention for answering back and swearing!" Mrs Ayers shrieked.

Susie looked at her. She a.s.sessed the situation. Now, she felt, was the time to strike.

"No thanks."

Mrs Ayers was momentarily confounded. "You'll take a detention," she repeated.

"No, I won't this time, thanks all the same," said Susie. Her tone was pointedly flippant. The others sat there, hardly daring to breathe.

No one had ever actually refused a detention before. Mrs Ayers had experienced acquiescence, sullenness, apathy, pleading, profuse apologising but never this.

"It's not up to you to accept or not. You'll be in detention this week and the week after for insolence."

"I'm afraid I won't. I've had quite enough detentions from you." Susie's polite smile and the contempt she put into her words incensed the Geography teacher beyond measure. Already unbalanced through her hatred of the schoolgirl and her recent traumatic ordeal with Mr Peters, she started screeching at Susie. A slew of insults flew from her lips. Other people around them were turning to watch.

Susie merely sat there, smiling while refusing to respond, goading Mrs Ayers even further. Eventually she lunged at the girl, grabbing her by her shoulders and starting to shake her while she shouted and ranted at her.

Laura and Charlotte, on either side of Susie, tried to intervene and get Susie away. But Mrs Ayers was deranged by her fury. As Susie struggled in Mrs Ayers' grasp, Miss Partridge and Miss Vine appeared and rushed over to find out what was going on.

Seeing Mrs Ayers a.s.saulting Susie, Miss Partridge managed to drag them apart and ordered the girls away. "All of you, back to your House or supper or wherever you should be." They left in a mix of relief and excitement.

"Pat, what the h.e.l.l got into you? We'll have to go to the Head, half the school has seen anyway." The Games mistress managed to get the Geography teacher out of the courtyard and towards the staffroom, Miss Vine following.

"She disliked me and became increasingly vindictive," was Susie's explanation to the Headmistress the next morning. She had a scratch and bruise on the side of her face and had tied her hair back deliberately to expose them. There were also marks on her arms from where the Geography teacher had grasped her.

Mrs Grayson had thought it better for the matter to rest overnight as far as the girls were concerned. She had already ordered Mrs Ayers onto immediate sick leave.

"Did you give her any cause?" Mrs Grayson asked. She knew that however Susie may have provoked the Geography teacher nothing warranted a physical attack. Susie would also be perfectly within her rights to tell her parents and make a formal complaint. But the housemistress felt by instinct that Susie would not do this.

She looked at the girl. Susie's expression wore its usual mask of polite composure. Yet in her eyes there was a light of both satisfaction and defiance. Susie had gone into battle, and she had won.

Either way Mrs Grayson had to get to the bottom of this. She already regretted not paying more heed when Grace Grant had raised concerns with her several weeks earlier.

Susie had no intention of admitting anything. "You have seen my work," Susie replied. She had brought her immaculate Geography exercise book with her.

"This is about more than work, isn't it?"

Susie paused. She was thinking past the Headmistress's question which didn't really need a response since they both knew what the answer was. "She had a choice," Susie said.

"Yes, she did. But so did you."

Susie couldn't feel any remorse for goading the Geography teacher past the point of no return. "She was a blight," she said, using Charlotte's phrase.

Mrs Grayson felt partly culpable in the matter. Pat Ayers had been a problem for years and really something should have been done before now to moderate some of the worst excesses of her character. Perhaps her breakdown was inevitable.

But there was no doubt that Susie Clarke had knowingly and deliberately accelerated it.

"We all have a choice, Susie, even if we have no obligation, when it comes to compa.s.sion and forbearance."

Susie felt momentarily small at these words. But she had never regarded her task as n.o.ble, only necessary. And it was done.

31. The catalyst.

Mrs Grayson, Miss Wingrove and Grace Grant were discussing the situation.

"The problem is that she didn't actually do anything," Mrs Grayson said, referring to Susie. "Not something that one could pin down so to speak."

There was less to say about Mrs Ayers. Her breakdown had been of little surprise to many of her colleagues who had regarded her as unstable for years. Miss Partridge, who had a degree in Geography, was taking her cla.s.ses until the end of term. There was no regret, only relief, among the girls that she was gone. And among the staff too, not least of all Mr Peters who regarded her exit as a personal victory.

"She's more of a catalyst," Miss Wingrove said. "She doesn't necessarily do anything herself, but others seem to behave differently around her. She's a nice girl though, bright and popular. Loyal to her friends," she added, thinking of a couple of times where Susie had covered for someone else's late arrival or provided a similar favour.

"She clearly has little respect for authority," Mrs Grayson said.

Grace Grant had been privately troubled ever since Susie's odd confession about visiting Mr Rydell, even though he had corroborated her story. The whole thing had made little sense then and her unease had only grown. Miss Wingrove's words began to cast a new light on things.

The housemistress hadn't really considered why Susie might lie, except for self-aggrandis.e.m.e.nt or to create drama. Schoolgirls did this so often that fantastic tales were par for the course.

But what if Susie had lied to protect someone else?

Most likely it would be one of her closest friends, her three dorm mates. Not Margery, certainly, and Charlotte seemed highly improbable. She was so focused on her hockey these days. Which left Laura. Could she have visited Mr Rydell that night?

Grace Grant thought about Laura that term. So far as she knew the girl was still doing well at her lessons, was healthy, maintained her friendships. It was a time of change for many girls, growing into womanhood.

Was it possible that Laura was the one who had propositioned Mr Rydell, with Susie lying to save her from embarra.s.sment?

But if that was the case, why had he backed Susie's story? She couldn't disregard his own statements, unless...

Unless something very different and very, very troubling was happening.

"You're pensive, Grace, anything to add?" Mrs Grayson asked her. "I must say these are all complications we don't need at this stage of the school year. It's bad enough having to find a replacement Geography teacher mid-year, but now German as well."

"German?" Grace Grant was startled.

"Yes. That new young man has got another job offer. I can't say it surprises me and perhaps to some extent it's a relief," the Headmistress said. It was always a risk, hiring a young male teacher among adolescent girls, and they all knew it.

"Nothing has happened, though?" Grace Grant asked.

"There has been some minor silliness. We had several Sixth Form girls suddenly wanting to switch to A-level German in the first couple of weeks which of course couldn't be accommodated. And the usual things like love poems fluttering out of his pigeonhole. Though he's dealt with it all very well and has the respect of the girls, not simply their admiration."

But perhaps there had been more than "silliness", Grace Grant thought. She needed more time to think about this.

Miss Wingrove was heartily glad that the poetry recital was a school event only without parents invited to watch. This had been considered but was ruled out due to time and logistical constraints.

Susie Clarke's rendition of "The Flea" was definitely not something an audience of mothers and fathers needed to hear. Even without Mr Peters' special coaching it was enough to make the Earl of Rochester blush. Miss Wingrove couldn't even bring herself to look at Mr Peters' face during Susie's performance. Surely even John Donne hadn't intended quite that amount of innuendo in his lines?

But it was Laura who took her breath away. Laura had originally been practising something by Keats but had changed her mind at the last moment. She claimed it was because Teresa Hubert was also reciting Keats, but several other poets had been chosen by multiple girls.

Instead, Laura read Sh.e.l.ley. She displayed none of the self-consciousness or nerves of many of the other reciters. She merely stood in the centre of the stage, her gaze fixed above and beyond the audience, making no apparent effort to connect with them. Her voice was still and calm.

"See the mountains kiss high heaven, "And the waves clasp one another"

Miss Wingrove had never thought of the poem as particularly sorrowful before, but spoken by Laura it was unbearably sad.

"And the sunlight clasps the earth, "And the moonbeams kiss the sea - "What is all this sweet work worth "If thou kiss not me?"

Sitting at the back of the hall with the rest of the staff, Grace Grant now felt she knew all she needed to know. Laura of a term ago would never have managed to speak these lines in the way she did now. Grace Grant did not have a background in literature and knew nothing of the context of the poem. But the poignancy, the desolation, the sensuality conveyed were those of a young woman, not a girl.

She didn't need to look at Mr Rydell - though she did look - to know that his gaze would be transfixed on Laura. The admiration in his eyes, the hunger. Everyone else was watching the stage so Grace Grant was the only one who saw how captivated he was by her. How far had this gone, the housemistress wondered. And how had it happened with no one knowing?

Despite this he was leaving the school. Or perhaps because of it.

Grace Grant had no concrete proof but nor did she want any because it might force her hand. She did however feel a duty towards Laura as her housemistress.

She summoned Laura to her office with the invitation for a "chat and a cup of tea".

"What does Gi-Gi want with you?" Charlotte asked.

"I have no idea. She sounded quite nice so I don't think I'm in trouble." Laura hoped she wasn't in trouble. She couldn't see why she would be.

"She might be digging about something else," Susie said.

Laura vowed to keep her lips sealed regarding anything that might compromise them, from the midnight feast to Susie's redirection of Mr Peters' note.

"I know you won't say anything, but she might try to catch you out." Susie had been wary of the housemistress since her own interview about Mr Rydell.

Laura knocked and entered the housemistress's office at the appointed time. She had always really liked the room. It was a calm place.

Grace Grant ushered her to one of the arm chairs by the window. It was where she held her informal, pastoral chats. Her desk was for more serious business.

Sinking onto the green velvet cushions, Laura waited for Miss Grant to speak.

"It's always a long term, the Autumn term," Grace Grant began. "I expect we're all looking forward to the holidays."

It was the equivalent to commenting on the weather, Laura thought. Whatever the housemistress wanted to say was clearly a difficult topic to broach. She took a sip of the tea that she had been given.

"You've all had quite a lot of excitement this term with some of the St Duncan's boys, I believe," Miss Grant said.

This was an odd one. Particularly as Laura hadn't really had any excitement with them at all.

"I know it must be quite exciting seeing older boys, but they do eventually go off to university where there are quite a lot of other distractions."

"Yes, these things don't always last," Laura said, thinking of Charlotte and Julian and wondering why Miss Grant was saying all this to her.

"I know it's all very thrilling when someone older than you shows interest. But letting such a relationship influence your life choices now may be something you regret in future," the housemistress said to her. Her eyes were kind but concerned.

At some point Laura realised that Grace Grant wasn't talking about the St Duncan's boys at all.

"You girls all have so many exciting years ahead of you. It would be an enormous shame to limit your options too early," Miss Grant said.

Laura didn't know how Miss Grant had found out. But she realised that the housemistress somehow knew about her and Mr Rydell and was worried for Laura's sake. Grace Grant saw that Laura also understood what she was really talking about.

"You also have to consider whether the older person is really being fair as well, to put you in such a position," she continued.

"Do you mean like Lucy Martin? I don't plan for something like that to happen to me," Laura said.

"I've always regretted what happened to Lucy," Miss Grant said. "I wish we could have done something more for her. I wish I had been able to prevent her from getting into her situation in the first place. But when something like that happens, a bridge is crossed."

She put down her teacup.

"What do you do with your life outside school is up to you, Laura. Soon you will all be adults and able to make your own choices about everything. But you are such a talented girl with so much promise. It would be very disappointing if you were distracted from realising your potential." Grace Grant looked at her directly, serious and also sad.

"Love is a wonderful thing but it doesn't always last. You have to think about what you owe to yourself. Don't close doors when you can leave them open."

32. Farewell.

It was the last day of term. There were no lessons that afternoon just packing, clearing up, and getting ready to go home for the holidays.

The four of them were sitting on a bench outside Michaelmas House when Mr Rydell walked past. "Come for a walk with me?" he said to Laura.