Fontainbleau Part 11

Tall. _Miss Polly, how coy!

With her amorous boy, Cries, dear sir! Oh fie, sir! and bridles her chin; You impudent man, you, How can you? how can you?_

Henry. _'Tis all_

Tall. _'Tis all_

Both. _To take the knowing one in; For all declare, That cheating is fair, If it takes but the knowing one in._

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.

_An Apartment in the Hotel._

_Enter SIR JOHN BULL, with a large Patch upon his Forehead, and FRENCH WAITER._

_Sir J. B._ Ah, see when they catch me upon a race horse again!--That scoundrel, Tallyho, did it to break my neck--Above all the beasts o'the field, to mount me upon Kick-him-Jenny! But I must get something to this cut--Have you no 'pothecaries here in France? [_WAITER bows, and cringes._] I say, get me a doctor--[_WAITER bows and cringes._]--I want a surgeon.

[_Loud._

_Waiter._ Oui, you be Sir John--

[_Bows, &c._

_Sir J. B._ D'ye understand?--I was riding, and Tallyho's mare threw me--[_Roaring, WAITER bowing, &c._] You scoundrel! what, d'ye stand grinning at me? Get somebody to dress my head.

_Waiter._ Oui, monsieur.

[_Exit._

_Sir J. B._ Oh dear, oh dear! get me once out of France--Then my wife and daughter! such a pair of mademoiselles, as they are making of themselves, to receive this great French Colonel Epaulette----Egad, here they come, in full puff!

_Enter LADY BULL and DOLLY, extravagantly dressed._

_Sir J. B._ [_Bows ridiculously._] A-la-mode de Paree!

_Miss Dolly B._ Bless me, papa, what's the matter?

_Lady B._ What, have you been fighting, Sir John?

[_Looking at his Forehead._

_Sir J. B._ Fighting! no, my Lady Bull--I got upon Kick-him-Jenny, she threw me off, and broke my head.

[_Eying them curiously._

_Lady B._ What is he at now?

_Sir J. B._ Eh, nothing. [_Looking, and smothering a Laugh._] George, get me a pipe.

_Miss Dolly B._ La, papa, let's have no piping here!

_Lady B._ Pipes! what man, d'ye think you're at Dobney's bowling-green?

_Miss Dolly B._ Consider, we are now at Fontainbleau, in France, papa, the very country seat of the beau monde.

_Sir J. B._ Oh, very well--Mrs. Casey, get me yesterday's Ledger.

_Lady B._ Ledger! Oh, now, he's got to Garraway's--I tell you again, you are not at Margate, raffling for twopenny toys.

_Miss Dolly B._ Or dancing in your boots, at Dandelion, papa--La now, do, pa, get into the mode, like us!

_Sir J. B._ Thank you, daughter, but I'm not quite so modish.

_Lady B._ But, consider, my dear, if Colonel Epaulette does us the honour of a visit, how he'll be shocked at your appearance!

_Sir J. B._ Thank you, thank you, wife; but I don't think I'm quite so shocking.

_Lady B._ Then, if he does introduce us to the prince--Sir John, to tell you a secret, I have already sent for one Mr. Lapoche, a celebrated French tailor, to make you a new suit of clothes for the occasion.

_Sir J. B._ A French tailor for me!--very well, very well, ladies.

_Enter FIRST WAITER._

_Waiter._ Mr. Lackland, madam; would you chuse to see him?

_Sir J. B._ Ay, ay, let the poor devil come up.

[_Exit WAITER._

_Lady B._ Mr. Lackland! ay, here's more of your--a pretty thing, to come all the way to France, to pick up English acquaintances! and then, such a paltry--shabby----

_Enter LACKLAND, elegantly dressed in COLONEL EPAULETTE'S Clothes._

_Lack._ Ladies, your most obedient--How d'ye do, Bull?

_Sir J. B._ [_Looking at him with Surprise._] Shabby!--Eh!--Why, in the name of--Oh! ho!--Ha! ha! ha!--recovered the arables, or another old fool from Throgmorton Street?

_Lack._Oh, pray don't let my presence disconcert any body--Ladies, I dined with my friend Tallyho, and Colonel Epaulette; the colonel understanding that I admitted Sir John here, to some share of my notice, begged I'd make his respects, and that he'd wait on you immediately.

_Lady B._ Now, Miss Bull, summon all the graces.

_Miss Dolly B._ Oh, lud! and the powder's all--the d.u.c.h.ess's barber must t.i.tivate me up directly.