Flowers from a Persian Garden and Other Papers Part 23

Queen Elizabeth, in the first year of her reign, made an abortive attempt to abolish her subjects' beards by an impost of 3s. 4d. a year (equivalent to four times that sum in these "dear" days) on every beard of more than a fortnight's growth. And Peter the Great also laid a tax upon beards in Russia: n.o.bles' beards were a.s.sessed at a rouble, and those of commoners at a copeck each. "But such veneration," says Giles Fletcher, "had this people for these ensigns of gravity that many of them carefully preserved their beards in their cabinets to be buried with them, imagining perhaps that they should make but an odd figure in their grave with their naked chins."

The beard of the renowned Hudibras was portentous, as we learn from Butler, who thus describes the Knight's hirsute honours:

His tawny beard was th' equal grace Both of his wisdom and his face; In cut and dye so like a tile, A sadden view it would beguile: The upper part whereof was whey, The nether orange mixt with grey.

This hairy meteor did denounce The fall of sceptres and of crowns; With grisly type did represent Declining age of government, And tell, with hieroglyphic spade, Its own grave and the state's were made.

Philip Nye, an Independent minister in the time of the Commonwealth, and one of the famous a.s.sembly of Divines, was remarkable for the singularity of his beard. Hudibras, in his Heroical Epistle to the lady of his "love," speaks of

Amorous intrigues In towers, and curls, and periwigs, With greater art and cunning reared Than Philip Nye's _thanksgiving beard_.

Nye opposed Lilly the astrologer with no little virulence, for which he was rewarded with the privilege of holding forth upon Thanksgiving Day, and so, as Butler says, in some MS. verses,

He thought upon it and resolved to put His beard into as wonderful a cut.

Butler even honoured Nye's beard with a whole poem, ent.i.tled "On Philip Nye's Thanksgiving Beard," which is printed in his _Genuine Remains_, edited by Thyer, vol. i, p. 177 ff., and opens thus:

A beard is but the vizard of the face, That nature orders for no other place; The fringe and ta.s.sel of a countenance That hides his person from another man's, And, like the Roman habits of their youth, Is never worn until his perfect growth.

And in another set of verses he has again a fling at the obnoxious beard of the same preacher:

This reverend brother, like a goat, Did wear a tail upon his throat; The fringe and ta.s.sel of a face That gives it a becoming grace, But set in such a curious frame, As if 'twere wrought in filograin; And cut so even as if 't had been Drawn with a pen upon the chin.

As it was customary among the peoples of antiquity who wore their beards to cut them off, and for those who shaved to allow their beards to grow, in times of mourning, so many of the Presbyterians and Independents vowed not to cut their beards till monarchy and episcopacy were utterly destroyed. Thus in a humorous poem, ent.i.tled "The Cobler and the Vicar of Bray," we read:

This worthy knight was one that swore, He would not cut his beard Till this unG.o.dly nation was From kings and bishops cleared.

Which holy vow he firmly kept, And most devoutly wore A grisly meteor on his face, Till they were both no more.

In _Pericles, Prince of Tyre_, when the royal hero leaves his infant daughter Marina in charge of his friend Cleon, governor of Tharsus, to be brought up in his house, he declares to Cleon's wife (Act iii, sc.

3):

Till she be married, madam, By bright Diana, whom we honour all, Unscissored shall this hair of mine remain, Though I show well in't;

and that he meant his beard is evident from what he says at the close of the play, when his daughter is about to be married to Lysimachus, governor of Mitylene (Act v, sc. 3):

And now This ornament, that makes me look so dismal, Will I, my loved Marina, clip to form; And what these fourteen years no razor touched, To grace thy marriage day, I'll beautify.

Scott, in his _Woodstock_, represents Sir Henry Lee, of Ditchley, whilom Ranger of Woodstock Park (or Chase), as wearing his full beard, to indicate his profound grief for the death of the "Royal Martyr," which indeed was not unusual with elderly and warmly devoted Royalists until the "Happy Restoration"--save the mark!

Another extraordinary beard was that of Van Butch.e.l.l, the quack doctor, who died at London in 1814, in his 80th year. This singular individual had his first wife's body carefully embalmed and preserved in a gla.s.s case in his "study," in order that he might enjoy a handsome annuity to which he was ent.i.tled "so long as his wife remained above ground." His person was for many years familiar to loungers in Hyde Park, where he appeared regularly every afternoon, riding on a little pony, and wearing a magnificent beard of twenty years' growth, which an Oriental might well have envied, the more remarkable in an age when shaving was so generally practised.--A jocular epitaph was composed on "Mary Van Butch.e.l.l," of which these lines may serve as a specimen:

O fortunate and envied man!

To keep a wife beyond life's span; Whom you can ne'er have cause to blame, Is ever constant and the same; Who, qualities most rare, inherits A wife that's dumb, yet _full of spirits_.

The celebrated Dr. John Hunter is said to have embalmed the body of Van Butch.e.l.l's first wife--for the bearded empiric married again--and the "mummy," in its original gla.s.s case, is still to be seen in the Museum of the Royal College of Surgeon's, Lincoln's-Inn-Fields, London.

It was once the fashion for gallants to dye their beards various colours, such as yellow, red, gray, and even green. Thus in the play of _Midsummer Night's Dream_, Bottom the weaver asks in what kind of beard he is to play the part of Pyramis--whether "in your straw-coloured beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French crown-coloured beard, your perfect yellow?" (Act i, sc. 2.) In ancient church pictures, and in the miracle plays performed in medieval times, both Cain and Judas Iscariot were always represented with yellow beards. In the _Merry Wives of Windsor_, Mistress Quickly asks Simple whether his master (Slender) does not wear "a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife," to which he replies: "No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard--a Cain-coloured beard"

(Act i, sc. 4).--Allusions to beards are of very frequent occurrence in Shakspeare's plays, as may be seen by reference to any good Concordance, such as that of the Cowden Clarkes.

Harrison, in his _Description of England_, ed. 1586, p. 172, thus refers to the vagaries of fashion of beards in his time: "I will saie nothing of our heads, which sometimes are polled, sometimes curled, or suffered to grow at length like womans lockes, manie times cut off, above or under the eares, round as by a woodden dish. Neither will I meddle with our varietie of beards, of which some are shaven from the chin like those of Turks, not a few cut short like to the beard of marques Otto, some made round like a rubbing brush, others with a _pique de vant_ (O fine fashion!), or now and then suffered to grow long, the barbers being growen to be so cunning in this behalfe as the tailors. And therfore if a man have a leane and streight face, a marquesse Ottons cut will make it broad and large; if it be platter like, a long slender beard will make it seeme the narrower; if he be wesell becked, then much heare left on the cheekes will make the owner looke big like a bowdled hen, and so grim as a goose."[161]

[161] Reprint for the Shakspere Society, 1877, B. ii, ch. vii, p. 169.

Barnaby Rich, in the conclusion of his _Farewell to the Military Profession_ (1581), says that the young gallants sometimes had their beards "cutte rounde, like a Philippes doler; sometymes square, like the kinges hedde in Fishstreate; sometymes so neare the skinne, that a manne might judge by his face the gentlemen had had verie pilde lucke."[162]

[162] Reprint for the (old) Shakspeare Society, 1846, p. 217.

In Taylor's _Superbiae Flagellum_ we find the following amusing description of the different "cuts" of beards:

Now a few lines to paper I will put, Of mens Beards strange and variable cut: In which there's some doe take as vaine a Pride, As almost in all other things beside.

Some are reap'd most substantiall, like a brush, Which makes a Nat'rall wit knowne by the bush: (And in my time of some men I have heard, Whose wisedome have bin onely wealth and beard) Many of these the proverbe well doth fit, Which sayes Bush naturall, More haire then wit.

Some seeme as they were starched stiffe and fine, Like to the bristles of some angry swine: And some (to set their Loves desire on edge) Are cut and prun'de like to a quickset hedge.

Some like a spade, some like a forke, some square, Some round, some mow'd like stubble, some starke bare, Some sharpe Steletto fashion, dagger like, That may with whispering a mans eyes out pike: Some with the hammer cut, or Romane T,[163]

Their beards extravagant reform'd must be, Some with the quadrate, some triangle fashion, Some circular, some ovall in translation, Some perpendicular in longitude, Some like a thicket for their cra.s.situde, That heights, depths, bredths, triforme, square, ovall, round, And rules Ge'metricall in beards are found.

Besides the upper lip's strange variation, Corrected from mutation to mutation; As 'twere from t.i.thing unto t.i.thing sent, Pride gives to Pride continuall punishment.

Some (spite their teeth) like thatch'd eves downeward grows, And some growes upwards in despite their nose.

Some their mustatioes of such length doe keepe, That very well they may a maunger sweepe: Which in Beere, Ale, or Wine, they drinking plunge, And sucke the liquor up, as 'twere a Spunge; But 'tis a Slovens beastly Pride, I thinke, To wash his beard where other men must drinke.

And some (because they will not rob the cup), Their upper chaps like pot hookes are turn'd up; The Barbers thus (like Taylers) still must be, Acquainted with each cuts variety-- Yet though with beards thus merrily I play, 'Tis onely against Pride which I inveigh: For let them weare their haire or their attire, According as their states or mindes desire, So as no puff'd up Pride their hearts possesse, And they use G.o.ds good gifts with thankfulnesse.[164]

[163] Formed by the moustache and a chin-tuft, as worn by Louis Napoleon and his imperialist supporters.

[164] _Works of John Taylor, the Water Poet, comprised in the Folio edition of 1630_. Printed for the Spenser Society, 1869. "_Superbiae Flagellum_, or the Whip of Pride," p. 34.

The staunch Puritan Phillip Stubbes, in the second part of his _Anatomie of Abuses_ (1583), thus rails at the beards and the barbers of his day:

"There are no finer fellowes under the sunne, nor experter in their n.o.ble science of barbing than they be. And therefore in the fulnes of their overflowing knowledge (oh ingenious heads, and worthie to be dignified with the diademe of follie and vaine curiositie), they have invented such strange fashions and monstrous maners of cuttings, trimings, shavings and washings, that you would wonder to see. They have one maner of cut called the French cut, another the Spanish cut, one called the Dutch cut, another the Italian, one the newe cut, another the old, one of the bravado fashion, another of the meane fashion. One a gentlemans cut, another the common cut, one cut of the court, another of the country, with infinite the like vanities, which I overpa.s.se. They have also other kinds of cuts innumerable; and therefore when you come to be trimed, they will aske you whether you will be cut to looke terrible to your enimie, or amiable to your freend, grime and sterne in countenance, or pleasant and demure (for they have divers kinds of cuts for all these purposes, or else they lie). Then when they have done all their feats, it is a world to consider, how their mowchatowes [i.e., moustaches] must be preserved and laid out, and from one cheke to another, yea, almost from one eare to another, and turned up like two hornes towards the forehead. Besides that, when they come to the cutting of the haire, what snipping and snapping of the cycers is there, what tricking and toying, and all to tawe out mony, you may be sure. And when they come to washing, oh how gingerly they behave themselves therein.

For then shall your mouth be bossed with the lather or fome that riseth of the balle (for they have their sweet balles wherewith-all they use to washe), your eyes closed must be anointed therewith also. Then snap go the fingers ful bravely, G.o.d wot. Thus this tragedy ended, comes me warme clothes, to wipe and dry him withall; next the eares must be picked and closed againe togither artificially forsooth. The haire of the nostrils cut away, and every thing done in order comely to behold.

The last action in this tragedie is the paiment of monie. And least these cunning barbers might seeme unconscionable in asking much for their paines, they are of such a shamefast modestie, as they will aske nothing at all, but standing to the curtisie and liberalitie of the giver, they will receive all that comes, how much soever it be, not giving anie againe, I warrant you: for take a barber with that fault, and strike off his head. No, no, such fellowes are _Rarae aves in terris, nigrisque similimi cygnis_, Rare birds upon the earth, and as geason as blacke swans. You shall have also your orient perfumes for your nose, your fragrant waters for your face, wherewith you shall bee all to besprinkled, your musicke againe, and pleasant harmonic, shall sound in your eares, and all to tickle the same with vaine delight. And in the end your cloke shall be brushed, and 'G.o.d be with you Gentleman!'"[165]

[165] Reprint for the Shakspere Society, Part ii (1882), pp. 50, 51.

A very curious Ballad of the Beard, of the time of Charles I, if not earlier, is reproduced in _Satirical Songs and Poems on Costume_, edited by F. W. Fairholt, for the Percy Society, in which "the varied forms of beards which characterised the profession of each man are amusingly descanted on":

The beard, thick or thin, on the lip or the chin, Doth dwell so near the tongue, That her silence in the beards defence May do her neighbour wrong.

Now a beard is a thing that commands in a king, Be his sceptre ne'er so fair: Where the beard bears the sway the people obey, And are subject to a hair.

'Tis a princely sight, and a grave delight, That adorns both young and old; A well-thatcht face is a comely grace, And a shelter from the cold.

When the piercing north comes thundering forth, Let a barren face beware; For a trick it will find, with a razor of wind, To shave a face that's bare.

But there's many a nice and strange device That doth the beard disgrace; But he that is in such a foolish sin Is a traitor to his face.

Now of beards there be such company, And fashions such a throng, That it is very hard to handle a beard, Tho' it be never so long.

The Roman T, in its bravery, Both first itself disclose, But so high it turns, that oft it burns With the flames of a torrid nose.