Five Little Plays Part 3

You--proposed--to-day!

WALTER. [_Very embarra.s.sed._] Yes--I mean--

BETTY. You--proposed--to-day! And waited till she had accepted you--to tell _me_--

WALTER. [_Eagerly._] Don't be so silly--come, come, he'll be back in a minute.... And, believe me, I'm not worth making a fuss about!

BETTY. [_Looking contemptuously at him._] That's true.

WALTER. Yes, it is, worse luck! I deserve all you've said to me. And you'll be ... much better ... without me.

BETTY. Better?

WALTER. Yes, better, better--any way you choose to put it! I'm a--but never mind that!--Look here--you'd like me to stop?

BETTY. He wants to play bridge.

WALTER. Don't you think that I--

BETTY.[_Hearing_ HECTOR _coming._] Sh.

[HECTOR _comes in--she is idly tossing the cards about._ HECTOR _has put on a smoking-jacket--he comes in, very jolly, fussing around, rubbing his hands, so glad to be home. He sits, to the right of_ BETTY.

HECTOR. Now for a game!

[_He seizes a pack, and spreads out the cards._

BETTY. [_Leaning back._] Not sure that I want to play.

HECTOR. Don't be disagreeable, Betty! Why?

BETTY. [_Listlessly, as she rises and moves across the room._] No fun, being three.

HECTOR. Good practice for you. Come on.

BETTY. [_Leaning against the other table, and turning and facing them._]

Besides, _he_ has something to tell you.

HECTOR. Walter?

BETTY. Yes.

HECTOR. [_Looking inquiringly at_ WALTER.] To tell _me?_ What is it?

BETTY. That he's engaged.

HECTOR. [_Shouting, as he leans across the table._] Never! Walter!

Engaged? You?

WALTER. [_Nervously._] Yes.

HECTOR. [_Noisily and affectionately._] You old scoundrel! You rascal and villain! Engaged--and you don't come and tell _me_ first! Well I--am--d.a.m.ned!

WALTER. [_Trying to take it gaily._] I knew you'd chaff me about it.

HECTOR. Chaff you! Silly old c.o.o.n! why I'm glad! Of course we shall miss you--but marriage--it's the only thing, my boy--the only thing! Who is she? Do I know her?

WALTER. [_Mumbling, as he fingers the cards._] A friend of Betty's--I fancy you've met her--

HECTOR. Who?

BETTY. Mary Gillingham. We're the first to know--he only proposed to-day.

HECTOR. Gillingham, Gillingham.... Oh yes, I've seen her, just seen her, but I don't remember.... I say, not the daughter of the sealing-wax man?

WALTER. Yes.

HECTOR. Then there's lots of tin! Fine! Oh you artful old dodger! Is she pretty?

WALTER. So-So.

BETTY. [_Still leaning against the table, and looking at them both._]

She's excessively pretty. She has yellow hair and blue eyes.

HECTOR. [_Chuckling._] And she has caught old Wallie. The cynical old Wallie who sniffed at women! Though perhaps it's the money--

BETTY. No. He's in love with her.

HECTOR. That's good. I'm glad. And I congratulate you--heartily, my boy.

[_He seizes_ WALTER'S _hand, and wrings it._] We must drink to it! [_He gets up, goes to the side-table, and pours some whiskey into a tumbler._]

Charge your gla.s.s, Walter! [WALTER _rises and goes to the side-table._]

Ladies and gentlemen. I give you the bride and bridegroom! [_He fills the gla.s.s from the syphon and pa.s.ses it to_ WALTER, _then proceeds to fill his own._] Betty, you must join us.

BETTY. [_Quietly._] No.

HECTOR. You can't toast him in water, of course. Has she cleared away yet?

I'll get you some Hock.

[_He puts his gla.s.s down and moves to the door at back._

BETTY. Don't be so silly. I won't drink at all.

HECTOR. [_Amazed._] Not to old Walter?

BETTY. [_Steadily._] No.

HECTOR. Why?

BETTY. [_Almost jeeringly._] Because--old Walter--has been my lover.