Five Little Plays Part 16

SIR GEOFFREY. [_St.u.r.dily._] Well--Jack's wife. Yes!

LADY TORMINSTER. Geoffrey, Jack bores me.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Aghast._] Lady Torminster!

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Clapping her hands in glee._] There! I've said it! Oh, it's such a relief! I never have before, and I don't suppose I ever shall again--for whom can I say it to but you? Listen--I tell you--quite _entre nous_--he bores me shockingly!

SIR GEOFFREY. [_In positive distress._] Lady Torminster! I beg of you!

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Cheerfully._] The best fellow in all the world, and he bores me. A heart of gold, a model husband, a perfect father--and a bore, bore, bore! There! I a.s.sure you I feel better.

SIR GEOFFREY. I suppose there are moments when every woman says that of every man.

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Fanning herself._] My dear Geoffrey, please send for your soul; it has wandered off somewhere, and I don't like talking to copybooks.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Doggedly._] You are talking to Jack's friend.

LADY TORMINSTER. Jack's friend--and mine--don't forget that! And could I say these things about Jack to any one else, and can't you conceive what a joy it is to say them? Besides, aren't we just now on the rim of the world--aren't we a little more than ourselves--aren't we almost on the other side of things? If we ever meet again, we shall look curiously at each other, and wonder, was it all true? As it is, I am scarcely sure that you are real. Everything is so still, so strange. Jack! He is up there, of course, the dear boy, his big red face pressed on the pillow. Oh, Geoffrey, when Jack brought you to me, and I was engaged--if you only hadn't been so loyal!

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Grimly._] Do you know what you are saying?

LADY TORMINSTER. I am saying the things a woman says once in a lifetime, and feels all her life. Oh, it was all so simple! You loved me--you ...

were blind because of Jack ... And I married Jack ... I mustn't complain ... I am one of the hundreds of women who marry--Jacks.

SIR GEOFFREY. A better, finer man never lived.

LADY TORMINSTER. I dare say--in fact, I am sure. But you should see us when we are alone, sitting there night after night, with never a word to say to each other! You tell me you're tired of polo, and golf, and bridge.

Well, how about me? And need you be scowling so fiercely, and begrudge me my one little wail, you who are going away?

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Angrily._] Yes, I am going away, and I shall marry a Chinese. I shall marry the first Chinese woman I meet.

LADY TORMINSTER. This is very sudden. Why?

SIR GEOFFREY. Because, at least, not knowing the language, she won't be able to say unkind things about me to my friends.

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Her chin on her hand, looking squarely at him._]

Geoffrey, _is_ Jack a bore?

SIR GEOFFREY. He never bores me.

LADY TORMINSTER. That's because he shot your tiger, and you rubbed his nose. Besides, you talk about horses, and so on. And yet I heard him, for a solid hour, telling you about a rubber he lost at bridge through his partner making diamonds trumps when he should have made spades.

SIR GEOFFREY. He's not clever, of course--and you are. But still! Is cleverness everything?

LADY TORMINSTER. Haven't I told you he's the very best fellow in all the world? And do you think I'm posing, pretending that I'm misunderstood, and the rest? You know me better. I am indulging, for once, in the luxury of absolute candour.

SIR GEOFFREY. You loved him--

LADY TORMINSTER. Of course I loved him--and I love him now.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Triumphantly._] You see!

LADY TORMINSTER. If we women had had a hand in the making of the language, how many words there would be to express our feelings towards the men we are fond of! Of course I love Jack. I'm cruel to him sometimes; and there comes a look into his eyes--he has dog's eyes, you know--a faithful Newfoundland--

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Very earnestly._] I don't think women quite realise what friendship means to a man.

LADY TORMINSTER. I am certain that men don't realise what marriage means to a woman! Dear funeral, am I not a good wife--shall I not remain a good wife, till the end of the chapter? Because there isn't only Jack--there are Jack's children.

SIR GEOFFREY. Yes.

LADY TORMINSTER. And isn't it wonderful, when you think of it--here are we two, Jack's friend and his wife, alone on a desert island--and we have confessed our love for each other, and we are able to discuss it as calmly as though it were rheumatism!

SIR GEOFFREY. [_With a groan._] If only I hadn't induced you to stay!

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Smiling._] My dear friend, you didn't!

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Amazed._] I didn't?

LADY TORMINSTER. Why no--of course not. I knew you were going to-morrow.

SIR GEOFFREY. How?

LADY TORMINSTER. Oh, never mind how! I knew. And I suspected you would be sitting up here to-night. So I came down, hoping to find you. I wanted this talk with you. And I extracted your confession--as though it had been a tooth.

SIR GEOFFREY. And why?

LADY TORMINSTER. Why? Because it will be something to think of, in the dull days ahead. Because I knew that you loved me, and wanted to be told.

Because your life lies before you, and mine is ended. Because I love you, and insisted that you should know. You leave me now, and I have no illusions. Paolo and Francesca are merely a poet's dream. You will marry--of course you will marry--but this moment, at least, has been mine.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Stretching out yearning hands._] This moment, and every moment, in past and future!

LADY TORMINSTER. Ah, the future! Strange little syllables that hide so much! I can see you, introducing your wife to me, a little shyly--I can see myself, shaking hands with her--and with you.... My boy is seven already--time travels fast.... But it's good to know that you really have loved me, all these years....

SIR GEOFFREY. By day and by night--you, and only you!

LADY TORMINSTER. And I have loved you--ah, yes, I have loved you!... And, having said this to each other, we will not meet again--till you bring me your wife.

SIR GEOFFREY. Ah--then!

LADY TORMINSTER. I have loved you, and I love you, for the fine, upright, loyal creature that you are. I love you for loving Jack; and it is Jack's great quality in my eyes that he has been able to inspire such love. And, my dear friend, let us not be ashamed, we two, but only very proud, and very happy. We shall go our ways, and do our duty; but we shall never forget this talk we have had to-night.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Gently._] I am beginning to understand....

LADY TORMINSTER. You will be less lonely in future ... and I no longer afraid of the stars.... Brave heart--oh, brave little heart that I for a moment have held in my hands!

SIR GEOFFREY. [_With a pa.s.sionate movement towards her._] Gertrude!

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Lifting a finger._] No--stay where you are.... Those are the first rays of dawn--I must go.... Good-bye. We have no need to shake hands, you and I.... Ah, Geoffrey--good-bye!