Five Little Plays Part 13

THE OPEN DOOR

THE PERSONS OF THE PLAY

SIR GEOFFREY TRANSOM LADY TORMINSTER

THE OPEN DOOR

SCENE: _The drawing-room of_ LORD TORMINSTER'S _cottage by the sea. It is 2 a.m. of a fine July night; the French windows are open on to the lawn. The room is dark; in an armchair,_ SIR GEOFFREY TRANSOM, _a man of forty, with a frank, pleasant face, is seated, deep in thought. Suddenly the door opens, and_ LADY TORMINSTER _appears and switches on the light. She starts at seeing_ SIR GEOFFREY.

LADY TORMINSTER. Oh!

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Rising._] Hullo! Don't be afraid--it's only I!

LADY TORMINSTER. What a start you gave me Why haven't you gone to bed?

SIR GEOFFREY. I'm tired of going to bed. One always has to get up again, and it becomes monotonous. Why haven't you gone to sleep?

LADY TORMINSTER. I don't know--it's too hot, or something. I've come for a book.

SIR GEOFFREY. Let me choose one for you.

[_He goes to the table._

LADY TORMINSTER. Why were you sitting in the dark?

SIR GEOFFREY. Because the light annoyed me. What sort of book will you have? A red one or a green one?

LADY TORMINSTER. Is there a virtue in the colour of the binding?

SIR GEOFFREY. Why not? They're all the same inside. There are three hundred ways, they say, of cooking a potato--there are as many of dressing up a lie, and calling it a novel. But it's always the same old lie. Here take this. [_He hands her a book._] Popular Astronomy. That will send you to sleep.

LADY TORMINSTER. The stars frighten me. But I'll try it. Good-night.

SIR GEOFFREY. Good-night.

LADY TORMINSTER. And you really had better go to bed.

SIR GEOFFREY. I move as an amendment that you sit down and talk.

LADY TORMINSTER. At this time of night!

SIR GEOFFREY. Why not? It's day in the Antipodes.

LADY TORMINSTER. And in this attire!

[_She glances at her peignoir._

SIR GEOFFREY. Pooh! You are more dressed than you were at dinner. That's awfully rude, isn't it? But then, you see, you're not my hostess now--you're a spirit, walking in the night. One can't be polite to spirits. Sit down, oh shade, and let us converse.

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Hesitating._] I don't know--

SIR GEOFFREY. The household have all retired; and we will make this concession to Mrs. Grundy--we will leave the door open. There! [_He flings it open._] The Open Door! Centuries ago, when I was alive, I remember paragraphs with that heading.

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Laughing._] So you're not alive now?

SIR GEOFFREY. Sir Geoffrey Transom ceased to be when he said good-night to Lady Torminster. Sir Geoffrey is upstairs asleep. So is her ladyship. We are their souls. Let us talk.

LADY TORMINSTER. You are in your whimsical mood.

SIR GEOFFREY. And you in your wrapper--peignoir--tea gown--it don't matter what you call it. You look--jolly. Ridiculous word--I don't mean that at all. You look--you. More you than I've seen you for years. Sh--don't interrupt. Shades never do that. By the way, do you know that the old lumber-room, my owner--my corporeal sheath--means to go away in the morning, before you are up?

LADY TORMINSTER. Sir Geoffrey! What nonsense! You've promised to stay a month!

SIR GEOFFREY. I a.s.sure you I have been charged to invent fitting and appropriate lies to account for the ridiculous creature's abrupt departure. The man Transom is a poor liar.

LADY TORMINSTER. You are making me giddy. Would you mind putting on your body? I've not been introduced to your soul.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Springing up with a flourish._] How very remiss of me!

Permit me. Gertrude this is Geoffrey. You have often heard me speak of him.

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Rising._] I think I'll go to bed.

SIR GEOFFREY. Now that is preposterous. Jack, my dear old friend--the best and only friend I have in the world--is slumbering peacefully upstairs, and Jack's wife is reluctant to talk to Jack's old pal because the sun happens to be hidden on the other side of the globe. Lady Torminster, sit down. If you're good you shall have a cigarette.

LADY TORMINSTER. [_Sitting._] Well, just one. And when I've finished it, I'll go.

SIR GEOFFREY. Agreed.

[_He hands her the box; she takes a cigarette; he strikes a match and holds it for her; he then takes a cigarette himself, and lights it._

SIR GEOFFREY. And, while smoking it, remember Penelope's web. For I've heaps of things to tell you.

LADY TORMINSTER. They'll keep till to-morrow.

SIR GEOFFREY. That's a fearful delusion. Nothing keeps. There is one law in the universe: NOW.

LADY TORMINSTER. I want to know what you mean by this nonsense about your going.

SIR GEOFFREY. [_Puffing out smoke._] Yes--I'm off in the morning. It has occurred to me that I haven't been to China. Now that is a serious omission. How can I face my forefathers, and confess to them that I haven't seen the land where the Yellow Labour comes from?

LADY TORMINSTER. China has waited a long time--a month more or less will make no difference. They are a patient race.

SIR GEOFFREY. There is gipsy blood in my veins--I must wander--I'm restless.... Not like Jack--he's untroubled--he can sleep. Jack's a fine sleeper, isn't he?