Finding Laila: Some Changes Are Necessary Part 8

"It wasn't my place," he answers, reading my mind like he always does.

"But-"

"It. Wasn't. My. Place," he repeats, punctuating each word as he says it.

"But this is Haden we're talking about. What am I supposed to do?"

"Go on a date with him,"

"I told him I'd think about it," I admit, recalling our evening together.

"There you have it."

"What are the guys gonna think?" I ask.

"Do you care?"

"Well, yeah," I shrug, even though he can't see me.

"Then talk to them-trust me, they can handle it."

"Thanks, Joey."

"Anytime," he says before we end the call.

For a moment I consider calling Braxton, but the weight of everything that's happened crushes me and I decide to call tomorrow. Right now, all I want to do is sit in my room and give myself time to think.

My phone vibrates at the end of my bed and I hesitantly reach over to see who is texting.

Haden: I forgot to thank you for coming with me tonight.

I stare at the screen and contemplate how I'm supposed to respond. Am I his friend? Do I acknowledge everything that happened? I opt to go the safe route and give a simple response.

Me: Anytime I press send and see the three little dots flash, indicating he is responding, and wait.

Haden: Then can I see you tomorrow night?

I backed myself into that one.

Me: We're all supposed to go to Cole's for a BBQ Haden: Forgot.

Me: Rain check?

Haden: Meet me outside tomorrow? 8am? Run?

I know that this isn't our usual run, this is a talk-a talk I'm not sure I'm ready to have. But maybe after some sleep I'll have a clearer perspective on things.

Me: 8:30?

Haden: See you then. Night Nixon.

Me: Night Surly ;) Sweet dreams I'm trying my best to lighten the mood and get us to the place I thought we were earlier.

Haden: All of you I think my heart actually just skipped a beat. Am I flirting with one of my best friends via text? I've texted the same thing a million times, and never once was there a flirtatious tone behind it.

"Hey, where are you going?" Haden asks, tugging my hand and pulling me to his chest.

"I have to get to cla.s.s," I smile, trying to walk away again.

"No you don't." He kisses my nose and tugs my hand so I move with him as he starts to walk. "I'm walking you to cla.s.s."

"You two are weird," Braxton says from the other side of me. "I can't believe it took you this long. h.e.l.l, I can't believe you thought he was gay, Lai."

"Gay-Lai," Cole says and laughs at the rhyme.

Joey rolls his eyes and holds Bailey's hand as we walk past them. "Grow up, Cameron."

Cole shrugs his shoulders in response before walking into the cla.s.sroom as we pa.s.s it and Braxton disappears at the door after. I'm not sure where everyone went, but it's just Haden and me, standing in the hallway alone.

"I'm glad you decided to give this a try." He smiles and leans down to give me a kiss.

I have no idea what comes over me when I pull him as close as possible to give him another kiss. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be here, with Haden of all people. Yet it's exactly where I am.

"Me, too."

"I'll see you later?" he asks, though he already knows the answer.

The bell rings obnoxiously overhead and I stand there watching him walk away. I start to walk toward my cla.s.sroom, but the d.a.m.n bell won't stop ringing and it's annoying me. I look around and no one else seems to mind the alarm, but I do.

"What's wrong with this thing?" I ask aloud, but no one responds. "Make it stop," I say, but my own voice is m.u.f.fled as I repeat the request.

"Laila," I hear Mom's voice call to me and I look around.

"Mom?"

"Laila, are you going to sleep through that thing? It's waking everyone up," she says.

I sit up, and for a moment I'm lost and confused.

"It was a dream," I mutter to myself and see my mom looking at me with concern.

"Bad dream?" she asks.

I shake my head and recall as much as I can before she walks further into my room. They were asleep when I got home last night, but I really could have used a girl talk with Mom. I tried to rationalize a way out of my run with Haden, but if I want to keep our friendship I need to at least talk to him.

"Honey, are you sure you're okay?" She sits next to me on the bed and I nod. "Wanna talk about it? How was the show last night?"

"It was-surprising," I admit before lying back on my pillows.

"Surprising, huh? Okay, well now I need details." She lies next to me.

The clock reads seven-thirty, so I have plenty of time to tell her about the evening.

"Yeah, surprising. His work is amazing but it shocked me."

"How so?"

"You know I've seen his stuff before, but nothing like this. There were pictures of his parents, of all of us hanging out," I look at her and wince as I finish, "and me."

"What do you mean-you?"

"I mean, there were drawings and paintings of me. But the one that really got me is one of Haden and me-it looks like we're about to kiss. Mom, all this time I figured he was gay-he's not dated anyone and I guess I just made a.s.sumptions-but he's not."

"What made you think he was gay?" She looks at me with a raised brow.

"Am I the only one who thought this? Anyway, that's not the point-today we're supposed to talk about things because he wants to see if there is a chance for something between us."

"Is there something between you?"

"I really don't know. I mean, when he kissed me last night, I'd be lying if I said-"

She rolls up to a sitting position and faces me with wide eyes and open mouth. "He kissed you?"

"Yeah." I smile, recalling the kiss.

"And?"

"You remember when I had a crush on him ages ago?"

She nods and I continue.

"I used to wish he'd see me the way I saw him, but I always thought he looked at me like a sister or something. Eventually, I moved on and let it go-I had crushes on all of them at some point. But when Haden kissed me last night, it was like some weird girl-dream come true. I don't know how to explain it."

"Sounds to me like maybe you pushed the feelings down since you thought it would never happen, but maybe you never really got over him."

I consider her words and she gets up to leave the room. "Mom?"

She faces me and leans against the door with a knowing grin.

"What should I do?"

"What was your dream about?" she asks, and my cheeks radiate with heat. "That's what I thought. So maybe you already know what you should do. But Luka is going to be incredibly jealous if you end up dating her crush." She walks over and puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles before walking out of the room and leaving me to my thoughts.

It's now almost eight, so I pull my hair into a ponytail and get my running clothes on. A quick stop in the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and I'm ready to go, but I'm still not sure what's going to happen.

My phone chimes next to my bed and I know that it's Haden.

Haden: Here early. No rush.

Me: Be right down.

I make my way downstairs and Luka is sitting on the floor watching cartoons when she looks up at me. "Where're you going? Can I come with you?"

I don't know why she always wants to be with me-I've never given her a reason to-yet she always asks.

"I'm going for a run with Haden, I'll be back later."

"Haden," she stands up and runs to the door, pulling it open before I have a chance to stop her.

"Luka," I call after her but Haden emerges with her in his arms, hers wrapped around his neck, practically choking him. "Mom, can you get Luka?"

"Haden," she sticks her lip out in a pout, "can I come with you?"

"Not today," he says as he sets her to the ground. "Your sister is all crazy jealous because you're my favorite, so I need to spend some time with her."

I narrow my eyes at him, not at all entertained by his snide joke. He knows well how annoyed I get with Luka, but something tells me he's doing this to lighten the mood between us, so I choose to let it go.

"Yeah, so jealous," I agree halfhearted only to find there is truth in his words. Someone needs to put me out of my misery-I'm jealous of a five-year-old.

"See?" He points at me and she laughs.

"Let's go before I change my mind," I tell him. "Be back later," I call out to whoever might be listening.

"Have fun," Mom calls out and I pause for a moment before making it all the way outside.

I wait for the door to shut before turning around to lay into Haden, but when I finally do, he's standing right in front of me and doesn't give me a second to speak. He takes my face in his hands and places a kiss to my lips.

"Haden," I start to protest, but he shakes his head.

"I've decided that I'm all in, screw what anyone thinks." He moves his hands from my face, threads his fingers with mine and looks at the place where we are joined.

"I'm not worried about everyone, just our small group. And what about you and me? This is a game changer, Haden." I exhale loudly, overwhelmed by the potential effect this could have on everything we know.

"If you're willing to give this a try, we'll deal with whatever comes up-and as far as I'm concerned, our friends will be fine with it. I mean, Joey has been pushing me to tell you for a while."

"He what?"

"Ah, man," he laughs and gives my hand a light tug as he pulls me down the sidewalk. "Don't be p.i.s.sed at Joe-I think he was annoyed with me asking him who you were into."

We venture out toward the quarry and I find it easier to speak up.

"This is my problem with all of this: I don't like being talked about. I know people talk about me all day, every day. But you guys are supposed to be my friends, yet you're all keeping secrets. Not cool."

"So you're telling me that you've never kept a secret from any of us?"

"Yeah, the whole...you being gay thing. I never said anything to anyone," I laugh.