Family Pride Or Purified by Suffering Part 32

An hour later, and the sweet little creature, which had been a sunbeam in that house for a few happy days, lay upon the bed where Katy said it must be laid; its form shrouded in the christening robe which Grandma Cameron had bought, flowers upon its pillow, flowers upon its bosom, flowers in its hands, which Marian had put there; for Marian's was the mind which thought of everything concerning the dead child; and Helen, as she watched her, wondered at the mighty love which showed itself in every lineament of her face, the blue veins swelling in her forehead, her eyes bloodshot, and her lips shut firmly together, as if it were by mere strength of will that she kept back the scalding tears as she dressed the little Genevra. They spoke of that name in the kitchen when the first great shock was over, and Helen explained why it had been Katy's choice. Poor stricken Katy, it was Morris' task to comfort her--Morris, who sat by her holding the hot, feverish hand she had placed in his, and telling her of the blessed Savior who loved the little children while here on earth, and to whom her darling had surely gone.

"Safe in His arms it would not come back if it could," he said, "and neither would you have it."

But Katy was the mother, and human love could not so soon submit, but went out after the lost one with a piteous agonizing wail, which hurt Morris cruelly.

"Oh, I want my baby back. I know she is safe, but I want her back. She was my life--all I had to love," Katy moaned, rocking to and fro in this first hour of her bereavement.

"You forget your husband," Morris said. "You have him left, and husbands, I supposed, were dearer than one's children."

"Yes," Katy answered, "I have Wilford, and am glad of that; but he will blame me so much for bringing baby here to die. He will say it was my fault; and that I can't bear. I know it was, know I killed my baby; but I did not mean to. I would give my life for hers, if like her I was ready," and into Katy's face there came a look of fear which Morris failed to understand, not knowing Wilford as well as Katy knew him.

Surely no man could reproach the half-crazed creature, who all that night sat by the bedside of her dead child, sleeping a little in her chair, but obtaining no real rest, so that by the morning her face was like some white rose on which a fierce storm has beaten, breaking off its petals and crushing out its life. At nine o'clock there came to her a telegram. Wilford had reached New York and would be in Silverton that afternoon, accompanied by Bell. At this last Marian Hazelton caught eagerly as an excuse for what she intended doing. She could not remain there after Wilford came, nor was it necessary. Her task was done, or would be when she had finished the wreath and cross of flowers she was making for the coffin. Laying them on baby's pillow, Marian went in quest of Helen, to whom she explained that as Bell Cameron was coming, and the house would be full, she had decided upon going to West Silverton, especially as she wished to see the lady with whom she once boarded, and who had been so kind to her.

"I might stay," she added, as Helen began to protest, "but you do not need me. I have done all I can, and would rather go where I can be quiet for a little."

To this last argument there could be no demur, and so the same carriage which at ten o'clock went for Wilford Cameron carried Marian Hazelton to the village where she preferred being left.

In much anxiety and distress Wilford Cameron read the telegram announcing baby's illness.

"At Silverton!" he said. "How can that be when the child was at New London?" and he glanced at the words:

"Your child is dying at Silverton. Come at once.

"M. GRANT."

There could be no mistake, and Wilford's face grew dark, for he guessed the truth, censuring Katy much, but censuring her family more. They, of course, had encouraged her in the plan of taking her child from New London, where it was doing so well, and this was the result. Wilford was proud of his daughter now, and during the few weeks he had been with it the little thing had found a strong place in his love. Many times he had thought of it during his journey West, indulging in bright antic.i.p.ations of the coming winter, when he would have it home again. It would not be in his way now. On the contrary, it would add much to his luxurious home, and the young father's heart bounded as Wilford Cameron had never believed his heart could bound, with thoughts of the beautiful baby as he had last seen it in Katy's arms, crowing its good-by to him and trying to lisp his name, its sweet voice haunting him for weeks, and making him a softer, better man, who did not frown impatiently as he used to do upon the children in the cars, but who took notice of them all, even laying his hand once on a little curly head which reminded him of baby's.

Alas for him, he little dreamed of the great shock in store for him. The child was undoubtedly very sick, he said, but that it could die was not possible; and so, though he made ready to hasten to it, he did withhold his opinion of the rashness, as he termed it, which had brought it to such peril.

"Had Katy obeyed me it would not have happened," he said, pacing up and down the parlor and preparing to say more, when Bell came to Katy's aid, and lighting furiously upon him, asked what he meant by blaming his wife so much.

"For my part," she said, "I think there has been too much fault-finding and dictation from the very day of the child's birth till now, and if G.o.d takes it, as he may, I shall think it a judgment upon you. First you were half vexed with Katy because it was not a boy, as if she were to blame; then you did not like it because it was not more promising and fair; next it was in your way, and so you sent it off, never considering Katy any more than if she were a mere automaton, to turn which way you said. Then you must needs forbid her taking it home to her own family, as if they had no right, no interest in it. I tell you, Will, it is not all Cameron--there is some Barlow blood in its veins--Aunt Betsy Barlow's, too, and you cannot wash it out. Katy had a right to take her own child where she pleased, and you are not a man if you censure her for it, as I see in your eyes you mean to do. Suppose it had stayed in New London and been struck with lightning--you would have been to blame, of course, according to your own view of things."

There was too much truth in Bell's remarks for Wilford to retort, even had he been disposed, and he contented himself with a haughty toss of his head as she left the room to get herself in readiness for the journey she insisted upon taking. Wilford was glad she was going, as her presence at Silverton would relieve him of the awkward embarra.s.sment he always felt when there; and magnanimously forgiving her for the plainness of her speech, he was the most attentive of brothers until Silverton was reached and he found Dr. Grant waiting for him. Something in his face, as he came forward to meet them, startled both Wilford and Bell, the latter of whom asked quickly:

"Is the baby better?"

"Baby is dead," was the brief reply, and Wilford staggered back against the doorpost, where he leaned a moment for support in that first great shock for which he was not prepared.

"Dead," he repeated, "our baby dead," and Morris was glad that he said our, as it indicated a thought of Katy as a mutual sharer in the loss.

Upon the doorstep Bell sat down, crying quietly, for she had loved the little child, and she listened anxiously while Morris repeated the particulars of its illness and then spoke of Katy's reproaching herself so bitterly for having brought it from New London. "She seems entirely crushed," he continued, when they were driving toward the farmhouse.

"For a few hours I trembled for her reason, while the fear that you might reproach her added much to the poignancy of her grief."

Morris said this very calmly, as if it were not what he had all the while intended saying, and his eye turned toward Wilford, whose lips were compressed with the emotion he was evidently trying to control. It was Bell who spoke first. Bell who said impulsively; "Poor Katy, I knew she would feel so, but it is unnecessary, for none but a savage would reproach her now, even if she were in fault."

Morris blessed Bell Cameron in his heart, knowing how much influence her words would have upon her brother, who brushed away the first tear he had shed, and tried to say that "of course she was not to blame."

They were in sight of the farmhouse now, and Bell, with her city ideas, was looking curiously at it, mentally p.r.o.nouncing it a nicer, pleasanter place than she had supposed, inasmuch as it reminded her of the description she had read of the Virginia farmhouse, where a young officer was encamped for a few days, an officer who wore a lieutenant's uniform and who signed himself as Bob. It was very quiet about the house, and old Whitey's neigh as Morris' span of bays came up was the only sound which greeted them. In the woodshed door Uncle Ephraim sat smoking his clay pipe and likening the feathery waves which curled above his head to the little soul so recently gone upward, while by his side, upon a log of wood, holding a pan of the luscious peaches she was slicing up for tea, sat a woman whom Bell knew at once for Aunt Betsy Barlow, thinking more of the peaches than of the old lady who, pan in hand, came forward to met her, curtseying very low when introduced by Morris, and asking to be excused from shaking hands, inasmuch as hers were not fit to be touched. Bell's quick eye took her in at a glance, from her clean spotted gown to her plain muslin cap tied with a black ribbon, put on that day with a view to mourning, and then darted off to Uncle Ephraim, who won her heart at once when she heard how his voice trembled as he took Wilford's hand and said so pityingly, so father-like: "Young man, this is a sad day for you and you have my sympathy, for I remember well how my heart ached when, on just such a day as this, my only child lay dead as yours is lying."

Every muscle of Wilford's face quivered then, but he was too proud to show all that he felt, and he was glad when Helen appeared in the door, as that diverted his mind somewhat, and he greeted her most cordially, even stooping down and kissing her smooth forehead, a thing he had never done before. But sorrow is a great softener and Wilford was very sorry, feeling his loss more here where everything was so quiet, so suggestive of death.

"Where is Katy?" he asked.

"She is sleeping for the first time since the baby died. She is in here with the child. She will stay nowhere else," Helen said, opening softly the door of the bedroom and motioning Wilford in.

With hushed breath and a beating heart, Wilford stepped across the threshold and Helen closed the door, leaving him alone with the living and the dead. Pure and beautiful as some fair blossom, the dead child lay upon the bed, the curls of golden hair cl.u.s.tering about its head, and on its lips the smile which had settled there when it tried to say "mamma"--its dimpled hands folded upon its breast, where lay the cross of flowers which Marian Hazelton had made--flowers upon its pillow, flowers around its head, flowers upon its shroud, flowers everywhere, and itself the fairest flower of all, Wilford thought as he stood gazing at it and then let his eye move on to where poor, tired, worn-out Katy had crept up so close beside it that her breath touched the marble cheek and her own disordered hair rested upon the pillow of her child. Even in her sleep her tears kept dropping from the long eyelashes, and the pale lips quivered in a grieved, touching way. Hard indeed would Wilford have been had he cherished one bitter thought against the wife so wounded. He could not when he saw her, but no one ever knew just what pa.s.sed through his mind during the half hour he sat there beside her, scarcely stirring and not daring to kiss his child lest he should awaken her. He could hear the ticking of his watch and the beating of his heart as he waited for the first sound which should herald Katy's waking.

Suddenly there was a low, gasping moan, and Katy's eyes unclosed and rested on her husband. He was bending over her in an instant, and her arms were around his neck, while she said to him so sadly:

"Our baby is dead--you've n.o.body left but me; and oh! Wilford, you will not blame me bringing baby here? I did not think she would die. I'd give my life for hers if that would bring her back. Say, Wilford, would you rather it was me lying as baby lies, and she here in your arms?"

"No, Katy," Wilford answered, and by his voice Katy knew that she was wholly forgiven, crying on his neck in a plaintive, piteous way, while Wilford soothed and pitied and caressed, feeling subdued and humbled, and we must confess it, feeling too how very good and generous he was to be thus forbearing, when but for Katy's act of disobedience they might not now be childless!

With a great gust of tears Bell Cameron bent over the little form, and then enfolded Katy in a more loving embrace than he had ever given her before; but whatever she might have said was prevented by the arrival of the coffin and the confusion which followed.

Much Wilford regretted that New York was so far away, for a city coffin was more suitable, he thought, for a child of his, than the one which Dr. Grant had ordered. But that was really of less consequence than the question where should the child be buried? A costly monument at Greenwood was in accordance with his ideas, but all things indicated a contemplated burial there in the country churchyard, and sorely perplexed he called on Bell as the only Cameron at hand, to know what he should do.

"Do just as Katy prefers," was Bell's reply, as she led him to the coffin and pointed to the name: "Little Genevra Cameron, aged nine months and twenty days."

"What is it, Wilford--what is the matter?" she asked, as her brother turned whiter than his child, and struck his hand upon his head as if a blow had fallen there.

Had "Genevra Lambert, aged twenty-two," met his eye, he could not have been more startled than he was; but soon rallying, he said to Morris, who came near:

"The child was baptized then?"

"Yes, baptized Genevra. That was Katy's choice, I understand," Morris replied, and Wilford bowed his head, wishing the Genevra across the sea might know that his child bore her name.

"Perhaps she does," he thought, and his heart grew warm with the fancy that possibly in that other world, whose existence he never really doubted, the Genevra he had wronged would care for his child, if children there need care. "She will know it is mine at least," he said, and with a thoughtful face he went in quest of Katy, whom he found sobbing by the side of the mourning garments just sent in for her inspection.

Wilford was averse to black. It would not become Katy, he feared, and it would be an unanswerable reason for her remaining closely home for the entire winter.

"What's this?" he asked, lifting the c.r.a.pe veil and dropping it again with an impatient gesture as Helen replied: "It is Katy's mourning veil."

Contrary to his expectations, black was becoming to Katy, who looked like a pure white lily, as, leaning on Wilford's arm next day, she stood by the grave where they were burying her child.

Wilford had spoken to her of Greenwood, but she had begged so hard that he had given up that idea, suggesting next, as more in accordance with city custom, that she remain at home while he only followed to the grave; but from this Katy recoiled in such distress that he gave up too, and bore, magnanimously, as he thought, the sight of all the Barlows standing around that grave, alike mourners with himself, and all a right to be there. Wilford felt his loss deeply, and his heart ached to its very core as he heard the gravel rattling down upon the coffin lid which covered the beautiful child he had loved so much. But amid it all he never for a moment forgot that he was Wilford Cameron, and infinitely superior to the crowd around him--except, indeed, his wife, his sister, Dr. Grant, and Helen. He could bear to see them sorry, and feel that by their sorrow they honored the memory of his child. But for the rest--the village herd, with the Barlows in their train--he had no affinity, and his manner was as haughty and distant as ever as he pa.s.sed through their midst back to the carriage, which took him again to the farmhouse.

CHAPTER x.x.xIII.

AFTER THE FUNERAL.