Fairy Tales Of New York: Taming The Beast Part 5

And it was just as well, he thought five minutes later, because a weaker, less-prepared man might lose his head over the woman who was now once more sashaying towards him, looking undeniably hot in some kind of short flowery flippy dress thing that emphasized her show-stopping curves and her long toned legs, a short denim jacket and a pair of surprisingly s.e.xy cowboy boots. But not him. Never him.

"Seb," she said, the natural huskiness of her voice grating over his senses nevertheless.

"Mercedes," he said, ignoring it.

She came to a stop a couple of feet in front of him and for some reason his entire body tensed and his fingers automatically tightened around the edge of the desk. "Thank you for agreeing to see me."

"No problem," he said, meaning it because none of this was a problem at all and forcing himself to relax.

"I went to your house. They said you were here."

"As you can see."

"You work late."

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

"Nice office."

"Thanks."

"It looks as though it hasnt changed for years."

"Apart from the addition of technology, it hasnt." His great-great-great grandfather, brand new oil dollars weighing him down, had ordered the construction of the building from where over the years the Madison empire had expanded into property, banking and hotels. This office had remained pretty much untouched ever since, hence the wood panelling, the ma.s.sive mahogany leather-topped partners desk and the giant chandelier. He liked it, but even if he hadnt, it wasnt his to change.

"This morning Id have said that suited you," said Mercy, turning her attention back to him and giving him a faint, but, for the first time, genuine, smile.

"But now?" he said, slightly confused by the flipping of his stomach in response to what was after all only the hint of a curve of her lips.

"Now Im not so sure."

And what was that supposed to mean? "Intriguing," he murmured even though it wasnt in the slightest. "Have a seat."

"Thank you."

Lifting her bag off her shoulder, Mercy sat, and after pushing himself off his desk and stalking round to the other side, so did Seb.

"So what can I do for you, Mercedes?" he asked, leaning forwards, resting his forearms on the desk and feeling oddly glad that it stood between them. "I presume you havent come to discuss the furnishings."

"No." She shook her head, then swallowed and took a deep breath, all of which made Seb wonder if she was nervous. It would be interesting if she was. And, come to think of it, deeply satisfying to see her on the back foot for once. Sitting back and relishing the switch of positions, he waited.

Mercy cleared her throat and pulled her shoulders back. "I have some questions for you."

Sebs eyebrows rose. "Questions or accusations?"

"Questions."

"Makes a change."

"Hmm." An unamused pause. Then, "Ive just had a night out with the girls."

"Are you drunk?"

Mercy blinked at him. Bristled, possibly. "What? No. Of course Im not drunk. I grew up on a vineyard. I dont overindulge. Ever."

"Didnt stop you at St. Johns."

"That was ten years ago. Ancient history. Ive been a wine maker for years now and Im a good one so I know its effects. One drink is my limit. Always."

"And was your night out with the girls fun?" he asked, not that he knew what fun was. He didnt go out socially if he could possibly avoid it. Nor did he drink. The potential for loss of control was simply too great. And fun was very definitely for other people.

"Usually it is. Tonight, though, it was more thought-provoking than fun. Zelda said you want to reconcile."

Seb started for a moment because he hadnt expected news to travel that quickly, but then he nodded because there seemed little point in denying it. "Thats right."

"Why?"

Ah. Well. Wasnt that the question of the century. For days after Mercy had waltzed into his apartment, whipping up a storm and speaking to him in a way that no one dared do these days, hed wiped the whole night from his mind.

But then, somehow, shed started slipping into his thoughts and niggling away at his conscience. Hed pushed her out, reminding himself over and over that she was wrong and he was fine, but it had become increasingly difficult to ignore her and what shed said.

Especially the part where shed basically told him he was to blame for everything that had befallen his sister.

Despite his best efforts to prevent it the seed of that had taken root and he hadnt been able to squash it. Instead it had grown until it was so big and so strong that it had battered through his ironclad defences, struck at the very center of him, and had had him suddenly questioning everything he thought he knew.

Was he to blame for Zeldas troubles? Might she have had an easier ride of things if hed been there for her instead of removing himself both physically and emotionally? Might they have been stronger together than apart? Had all those times shed been expelled from school really been cries for help? And what about her subsequent behavior? Had she been as lost as him?

The more the questions had ricocheted around his head the more hed realized that the answer couldnt be anything other than a horrible, deafening yes. The way hed treated Zelda had been horrendous. He had failed her. In every terrible way possible. All shed ever wanted was him to be there for her, and hed run a mile, convincing himself what he was doing was the right thing for her, when really he was doing it because it was the right thing for him.

That Zelda was all right now was testament to her strength and the loyalty of those who cared about her. Her friends. Her boyfriend, Ty. Whod been around for weeks and who he hadnt even heard of before shed enlightened him yesterday. He hadnt even questioned where his sister was when shed disappeared for the whole Labor Day weekend.

Amends, an apology, an explanation, hed figured, didnt come close to what he owed her. He was only grateful shed given him the opportunity to pay his dues.

"It was about time," he said vaguely, having no intention of spilling what was left of his soul to the woman who already knew way too much about him.

Mercy looked at him quizzically. "I thought you said there was nothing to fix."

"I rea.s.sessed."

"Because of me?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"It just does."

"I suppose it might have had something to do with what you said," he said easily, as if what Mercy had said hadnt been cataclysmic. "So thank you."

"Youre welcome."

"You were pretty brutal, though."

"All for a good cause."

"Youre not intimidated by me in the slightest, are you?" he said after a beat.

She looked at him quizzically. "Should I be?"

"Many are."

"They dont know you like I do."

Seb stilled at her words because what did she mean by that? Was it an insult? He couldnt tell. Her tone was too neutral. Not that it mattered one iota what she thought of him. "No. Well. Perhaps not," he said coolly. "But as much as it pains me to admit it, I did listen to what you said, and I decided to take your advice. So do feel free to gloat."

Mercys eyes widened for a moment. "I dont want to gloat."

"No?"

"Why would I gloat when youve made Zelda so very happy?" She looked at him, her eyes shining in a way that suddenly concerned him deeply. "It may not seem like it right now, Seb, but whatever your reasons, youve done a good thing."

Seb shifted in the chair and frowned. Yes. Well. Time would tell. It was a start anyway, although who knew where it was going to head. Hed been on his own for years and he was perfectly content with that, so happy families was never going to be his thing. But maybe he and Zel could get to a stage where they could at least converse without one of them stalking off. For the sake of the Foundation if nothing else.

"Well see," he muttered.

"Youre not as devoid of emotion as you like to make out, are you?" she said, something in her voice, coupled with that look in her eyes, now switching his senses to high alert.

Why was she looking at him like that? he wondered, alarm beginning to wind through him. Sort of dreamily. Soppily. As if she was proud of him or something. Whatever it was, she ought to stop it. He didnt want her admiration and he didnt want her to be proud. He didnt want her to be anything. Just because hed acknowledged his many mistakes with regards to Zelda, it didnt mean hed changed in any other respect. He hadnt, and he had no intention of doing so.

"Dont make me into something Im not, Mercedes," he warned.

"Im not. But you went to see Zel before too, didnt you? When she was in rehab."

So his sister had told them that too. Was nothing left undiscussed? He supposed not. "Yes."

"She didnt remember."

"No."

"What happened?"

"She told me to go away." That was putting it politely.

Mercy looked at him. "When was this?"

"A couple of days after you told me where she was."

Mercy nodded thoughtfully. "I went to see her maybe a week after that. She didnt mention youd been to see her."

"She must have forgotten."

"When I saw her she wasnt really aware of anything. Shed come off the drink and the drugs. She must have been suffering."

"Yes." Hed seen that, been deeply shocked by how gaunt his sister looked, how ill she was, and had then buried it beneath yet more guilt and shut himself off even further.

"You must have suffered too seeing her like that."

He shrugged, locking the memory away. "It meant nothing to me."

"Then why did you go?"

"A momentary lapse of reason. It was a mistake."

She tilted her head. "You might convince yourself of that, Seb, but you wont convince me. It was a good thing to do."

Good or bad, who cared whether she was convinced or not? He certainly didnt. "I dont need your approval, Mercedes."

"You have it nonetheless."

"Is that all?" he said, planting his hands on his desk and about to stand up because now he really was kind of keen to end this conversation. "If it is, Ill call you a cab."

"Not quite," she said slowly, and stifling a sigh he sat back down. "I have another question."

"About what?"

"The night we slept together."

Seb went still his body tightening and his pulse spiking. "What about it?" he asked, slightly beginning to regret his recent decision to face things head on.

"Was your aim solely to distract me?"

Well, no, it hadnt been, he thought, keeping the memories that clamored to be let in at bay. Not remotely. He might have initially kissed her to shut her up, but within a moment of having her in his arms it had been all about the l.u.s.t. However to tell her that, to admit to having wanted her so badly hed nearly lost his mind, would make him come across as being, well, possibly a little bit vulnerable, and he wasnt having that. There was facing up to things and then there was self-destruction.

"What else would it have been?" he said.

"I dont know. Thats why Im asking."

"My aim was to stop you talking, nothing more."

"Then why not just throw me out?"

Right. So. A perfectly reasonable question. Just not one he wanted to answer. "Look, if youre after an apology," he said, opting for deflection, "you can have one. You were absolutely right, Mercedes. I took advantage of you and your adolescent crush on me. But I shouldnt have. It was a lousy thing to do. Im sorry."

She raised her eyebrows as if she didnt think much of that, which was a shame because as apologies went hed been getting in a lot of practice and it wasnt a bad attempt. "So why make love to me all night long?"

Another excellent question. "Theres no point to this," he said, reaching for his phone because despite his resolve the sooner she was out of here the better. "No point at all. Rehashing the past wont change it. Ill call you that cab."