Emma Harte - Hold The Dream Part 11

However, unlike Jim, who only saw things on the surface and moreover believed exactly what he saw, Emma had an almost frightening perceptiveness, one that pierced any facade to comprehend what actually lay behind it. She understood that nothing was ever the way it seemed, and so she was acutely conscious of the undercurrents in the room-the rivalries, the conflicts, the bad blood that existed between some of those present.

A sardonic smile touched her lips. As usual, cliques had formed. It was easy to see who was allied to whom. And she could read them all like an open book.

Edwina was the one who had surprised her the most, in that she had obviously had the intelligence to accept the inevitable. Her eldest daughter was giving off an aura of cordiality, sitting on the sofa near the window, chatting with Sally. On the other hand, Emma had noticed that she was a.s.siduously avoiding any real contact with the other Hartes in the drawing room.

Randolph, Sally's father, and his two other children, Vivienne and Winston, were most decidedly persona non grata with Edwina, and her intense dislike of them was barely concealed behind the stiff and chilly smiles she had given them earlier. Edwina was also cold-shouldering Blackie, although there was nothing new about that. Once last year Edwina had referred to him as the grand seigneur, meaning it disparagingly, her voice ringing with sarcasm.

Emma smiled inwardly. She had rather liked the description then, she did so now. It was apt.

Blackie was indeed behaving like the grand patrician gentleman, strolling around as if he had territorial rights, his manner distinctly proprietary, being gracious and charming, playing the genial host to the limit. And why not? He was her greatest friend and her escort after all; this was her house, and she was the hostess at this gthering. He had stood at her side during the toasts and the cutting of the christening cake, and after Randolph had finished speaking, he had made a toast himself. To her. He had called her the youngest and most beautiful great-grandmother in the world. Now he had paused, was hovering over Paula, who in turn hovered over her babies. Daisy joined them, her serenity and sincerity and goodness a beacon in this room.

Emma shifted her eyes to the far corner, where they settled on her grandson, Alexander.

Always reserved, Alexander seemed particularly so with Jonathan and Sarah, whom he had briefly acknowledged when he had arrived. Since then he had consistently and carefully ignored them. He had attached himself to Bryan and Geral-dine O'Neill at the commencement of the reception and returned to sit with them after the photographs had been taken. She did not understand why he was being cool and distant with Sarah and Jonathan. Could they have had a disagreement? Even a falling-out? Or was he simply bored by the company of his cousins with whom he worked at Harte Enterprises? She turned these possibilities over and then let them go. She would know soon enough if there were any real problems amongst these three. She wished Alexander would make up his mind about that nice Marguerite Reynolds. He had kept that poor girl dangling for too long. Now where was she hiding herself?

Emma scanned the room. Ah yes, there she was near the door, laughing with Merry O'Neill and Amanda. Good G.o.d, was that child drinking another gla.s.s of champagne. Her third? Emily is supposed to be looking after those sisters of hers, and she's not even in the room, Emma thought and took a step forward, making for Amanda, then stopped in her tracks. Emily had just returned with Winston and Shane, had spotted Amanda, and was about to chastise her little sister, who wore a guilty expression. Emma nodded to herself, amused at the little scene being enacted. Emily, for all her youth and gay disposition, could be very tough when she wanted to be.

Shane had detached himself from Winston and Emily and was prowling across the floor. Her eyes followed him. He came to a stop next to David, drew Paula's father to one side, began speaking to him intently. Shane is not himself today, Emma decided. He has a remote air. It occurred to her that he might be suffering from ennui at this family function of hers, not to mention preoccupation with his impending trip to New York.

As for Sarah, her auburn-haired granddaughter appeared to be patently uninterested in Shane. Did Emily exaggerate? No, definitely not. Sarah, clinging to Jonathan like a barnacle to a hull, was by her very actions proving to Emma that she did indeed care greatly. If Shane no longer mattered to her, . she would not be huddled in a corner staying out of his way. Was Jonathan a handy convenience? Or had he and Sarah formed some kind of special alliance lately? If so, why? They had never been particularly close in the past.

Emma gave Jonathan a long hard stare, studying that bland and smiling face, noting his insouciant manner. How disarming he could be. He's clever, she thought, but not quite as clever as he believes he is. He has acquired the knack of dissembling, most likely from me. And because I'm better at dissimulation than he is, he doesn't deceive me one little bit. I have no hard evidence of his treachery, nothing concrete with which I can nail him, and yet I know he's up to no good.

When Emma had first arrived at the Fairley church, Jonathan had rushed over to her and told her he would see her on Monday morning, would bring her his new evaluation of the Aire Communications building. She had merely nodded, kept her face inscrutable. But she had immediately wondered why he suddenly thought the evaluation of the building's worth was no longer urgent, that it could now wait until Monday. She had been stressing its urgency to him for some time. Emma had not had to think very hard to come up with the answer. Jonathan knew the evaluation was no longer pressing. because he was aware that the Aire deal had collapsed. Neither she nor Paula had mentioned the failure of those negotiations, so he could only have acquired his information from Sebastian Cross and in the last twenty-four hours.

This conversation at the church, coupled with Emily's revelation of the night before, had convinced Emma that Jonathan was somehow im'olved with the Crosses, in cahoots with them. But to what purpose?

She did not know. But she would soon find out. She had no intention of confronting Jonathan on Monday morning. It was not her way to show her hand when that hand could be doling out rope, forming a noose. Instead she would go to London next week and start digging. Discreetly. Jonathan's behavior today had only served to underscore the nagging suspicion that he was not trustworthy, a feeling that she had harbored for weeks. Without realizing it, he had alerted her further. If he were really smart he would have acted as though the Aire deal were still alive. He had made a small slip-but it was a fatal one in her eyes.

Jonathan happened to turn around at this moment. His glance met hers. He smiled broadly and loped across the room to her.

"Goodness, Grandy, why are you standing here all alone?" he asked, showing concern for her. Not waiting for a reply, he went on, "Do you want anything? A gla.s.s of champagne or a cup of tea maybe? And do come and sit down. You must be tired." He took hold of her arm affectionately, and his posture was loving.

"I don't want anything, thank you," Emma said. "And I'm not a hit tired. In fact I never felt better." She gave him a smile as fraudulently sweet as his had been. Extracting her arm ever so gently, she remarked, "I've been enjoying myself, standing here watching everyone. You'd be surprised what people reveal alxnit themselves when they believe they're un.o.bserved." Her eyes were riveted to his face.

She waited.

He squirmed under her unflinching gaze, returned it, managed to keep his expression open and candid. But he laughed too quickly and too loudly as he said, "You are a card, Grandy."

And possibly you're the joker in the pack, Emma thought coldly. She said, "What's wrong with Sarah? She's being rather aloof with everyone, apart from you of course."

"She's not feeling well," he answered with swiftness. "Fighting a bad cold."

"She looks as fit as a fiddle to me," Emma observed dryly, throwing a rapid glance in Sarah's direction.

Emma suddenly stepped back, moved away from Jonathan, and leveled her direct stare on him again. "Did you come up here together? And when did you arrive in Yorkshire?"

"No, we came separately. Sarah by train last night. I drove up this morning." This was said steadily enough, and he smiled down at her.

Emma saw the faintest flicker of deceit in his light eyes. She studied his face briefly. Arthur Ainsley's weak mouth, she thought: She said, "I'm glad Sarah has you to look after her today, Jonathan. It's most kind of you."

He said nothing, changed the subject by remarking, "Are you sure you don't want to sit down, Grandmother?"

"I suppose I might as well."

He steered her across the room .toward Charlotte and Natalie, and Emma smothered a laugh. So that's where he thinks I belong, with the old ladies, she thought with some acerbity.

He saw her settled on the sofa, spoke briefly to his great-aunts, and disappeared, heading back to Sarah.

Emma watched him go, filled with sadness and disappointment. Too bad about Jonathan, she thought with resignation. He surely doesn't realize it, but he's as transparent as water.

Just like his father. She had always seen right through Robin and had been several jumps ahead of him all of his life, usually to his perpetual irritation and discomfort. Sighing, Emma pushed herself into the cushions and accepted a cup of tea offered by one of the waiters, then turned to her sisters-in-law. Natalie, Frank's widow, was unusually garrulous this afternoon, and she soon dominated the conversation, caught up in an endless recital about her only child, Rosamund, who lived in Italy with her diplomat husband. Charlotte and Emma listened, eyeing each other with amus.e.m.e.nt from time to time, but Emma's interest rapidly waned. She soon fell into her myriad thoughts.

Emma would never know what prompted her to suddenly put down her cup of tea, stand up, and swing around at the precise moment that she did. And later, when she thought about it in private, she was to wish she had remained seated.

But she did go through these motions and found Shane O'Neill in her direct line of vision. He did not see her. He stood alone, leaning against the wall in the shadow of a tall Regency cabinet. There was an expression of such unadulter-. ated love and aching yearning on his handsome face that Emma had to stifle a gasp of surprise. His face was naked, utterly vulnerable, and it revealed the strongest -and most powerful emotions a man could feel for a woman.

And it was Paula whom Shane was staring at with such concentrated intensity and longing.

Oh my G.o.d, Emma thought, dismay flooding through her. Her heart missed a beat. How well she knew that look on a man's face. It signified pa.s.sion and desire, the overwhelming urgency to possess absolutely. And forever.

But her granddaughter was oblivious to him. She was bending over the nursemaid who sat cradling Tessa, adjusting the child's christening robe, cooing to her. Paula's face was tender with a mother's love, and she was completely absorbed in the baby.

Emma was so shocked by what she saw that she could not move. She was rooted to the spot, staring at him transfixed, unable to tear her eyes away from Shane, 'who undoubtedly believed he was safe from prying eyes. Emma reached out blindly and gripped the back of the sofa, filled with a terrible shaking sensation.

To her immense relief the expression on Shane's face was fleeting. In a flash it vanished, was replaced by a studied expression of a.s.sumed nonchalance, one she knew so well. He moved out of the shadows without noticing her and mingled with the crowd again. -Distantly she heard his vibrant, throaty laugh and then Randolph's voice in response to something he had said.

Endeavoring to marshal her thoughts, Emma shifted her stance, turned to face the room. Had anyone else witnessed this intensely private moment of Shane's when his guard was down? Where was Jim? Emma's quick alert eyes darted from side to side, came to rest on Emily, who stood motionless a few yards away, staring back at her appalled, anxiety clouding her pretty young face.

Emma frowned. She pinned Emily with a knowing look, then motioned to the door with a brief nod of her head. Emma went out of the drawing room slowly. She was filled with sorrow, and her heart ached for Shane O'Neill. And as she crossed the Stone Hall, everything became crystal clear to her, and her sorrow deepened immeasurably.

Upon entering the library, Emma sat down heavily on the nearest chair. She was surprised her legs had carried her this far. She felt weak at the knees.

Emily came in a split second later, closed the door firmly behind her, and leaned against it speechlessly.

To Emma she looked as if she had seen a ghost. She was unnaturally pale, and her face was tight, very strained.

Emma said, "You saw it then? The way Shane was gazing at Paula?"

"Yes," Emily whispered.

"He's very much in love with her," Emma said, her voice husky. Her throat tightened. She paused, -got a grip on herself. "But then you knew that before today, Emily. In fact you almost let it slip out yesterday. But you managed to stop yourself just in time. That is correct, isn't it?"

"Yes, Gran."

"Don't look so scared, Emily. And come here and sit with me. I must talk to you about this. It's most disturbing."

Emily ran across the room and took the adjoining chair. She gazed deeply into Emma's troubled face, which looked oddly fatigued and weary all of a sudden. She said, "I'm truly sorry you had to find out. I never wanted you to know, Grandma. I knew it would pain you."

"Yes, that's true, it does. But now that I do know, I've a couple of questions. First of all, how did you find out that Shane was in love with Paula in the first place?"

"Because I've seen that look on his face before. It was at Paula's wedding in London last year . . . when he thought no one was watching him. Much the same kind of situation as today. He was tucked away in a corner, at the reception at Claridge's, and his eyes never left her. And then there's his behavior . . . let's face it, Grandy, he's been distant and peculiar with her for the longest time. Actually to be honest he's dropped her like a ton of bricks. Obviously he can't bear to be around her, knowing she's married to someone else."

Emily bit her lip nervously. "I suspect that's also one of the reasons he spends so much time abroad. I know he has to travel because of their hotel chain, but Merry recently said something to me about Shane constantly jumping on planes at the slightest excuse. She said he seemed to have ants in his pants these days."

"I see," Emma said. "So Shane has never confided in you?"

"G.o.d no! He wouldn't. He's too proud."

"Yes," Emma said, "I know what you mean." She was reflective for a moment, then said almost to herself, "That seems to be a family characteristic. And it's false pride, too. What a waste of time that is. So very foolish in the long run. It serves no good purpose." She looked away, staring into the distance absently, seeing so much, understanding.

Emily patted her hand in her old-fashioned, motherly way, and urged, "Try not to worry. Gran. I know you love Shane like one of your own grandchildren, but there's nothing you can do about this."

"I'm aware of that, darling. But getting back to the incident in the drawing room, do you think anyone else saw what we saw? Jim for instance?"

"Jim had gone outside a few minutes before, Gran. I spoke to him as he followed Anthony and Sally out onto the terrace. Then Miranda joined them and the twins." Emily chewed her inner lip again. "Sarah. She has been sneaking looks at Shane all afternoon. She might have caught it; I'm just not sure." '

"I certainly hope she didn't!" Emma exclaimed worriedly.

"So do I." Emily took a deep breath, volunteered in a low voice, 'There was one person who noticed-"

"Who?" Emma demanded, looking at her swiftly.

"Winston."

"Well, thank G.o.d for small mercies. I'm glad it wasn't anyone else. Go and fetch him to me, Emily, and don't discuss a thing. Not in there. Too many nosey Parkers around."

"Yes, Grandmother." Emily flew out of the room.

Emma rose and went to the windows, staring out at her beautiful gardens. How peaceful they look in the radiant sunlight. . . next door in the drawing room there is a young man who has everything except the woman he loves and who may never know genuine peace in his whole life because of that. Unless his love for Paula ceases to exist. Emma doubted this would happen. The kind of love she had seen etched on his face was everlasting. Its depth and intensity chilled her to the bone. She was absolutely convinced that a man like Shane O'Neill would not be content to worship from afar. His emotions could easily propel him to take more overt action in time. He might try to fight for taula one day in the future. And even if Paula was not interested in Shane, the situation still spelled trouble, in Emma's opinion. Triangles were not only uncomfortable, they were explosive.

Emma let out a tiny sigh. She had no answers, no solutions, and speculating was surely a big waste of time.

Her thoughts settled on Paula. She prayed her granddaughter would be happy with Jim Fairley for the rest of her life. If she was not, Shane might indeed make headway with her. Yet this first year of the marriage had been idyllic. On the other hand there were things she herself had noticed and which had given her food for thought and cause to wonder about Jim. Instinctively she knew that he was no match for Paula when it came to inherent strength of character. Paula was inordinately stubborn, and she had a will of iron. And she was so much cleverer than Jim-on every level.

Emma admired Jim professionally-he was a brilliant newspaperman. Also she was fond of him personally. It was difficult not to be. On the other hand, Emma had recognized for some time that his judgment was flawed in many areas, most especially when it came to his a.s.sessment of people. He was not terribly discriminating. He liked everyone; furthermore he wanted everyone to be happy and all of the time, no less. He hated controversy and upset, bent over backward to keep the peace-and very often that was to his own detriment. In Emma's mind one of Jim's main problems was his overwhelming need to be liked in return, to be popular with every member of the family, his friends, and those in his employment. This trait in him both dismayed and irritated Emma. It was lonely at the top. And it was generally not very wise to be overly familiar with employees. That quickly led to trouble. Loath though she was to admit it, Jim was simply not of the same caliber as Paula. Would he hold up over the years? Every marriage had its problems, its stresses, its emotional upheavals. If Jim caved in because of his lack of stamina and endurance under pressure, what would happen to that marriage? To Paula? To their children? She hated "to contemplate the future in this dismal way and instantly pushed all negative thoughts out of her mind. They did love each other very much, and perhaps their love would overcome any differences thev may have.

Winston said, "You wanted to see me. Aunt Emma?" He sounded both nervous and concerned.

"Yes," Emma said, pivoting. She walked over to a grouping of chairs, motioned Winston and Emily to join her.

They sat down opposite her, waiting.

Winston had been mystified when Emily had dragged him out of the drawing room, whispering that Emma had sent her to get him. He knew at once, from the girl's anxious demeanor, that something was wrong. Now his worried air intensified as he puffed rapidly on his cigarette. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Emily's face was stark above her yellow suit, its bony pallor more p.r.o.nounced.

Getting right to the point, Emma said, "A few minutes ago I saw Shane looking at Paula in such a way that it left no doubt in my mind about his feelings for her. Emily tells me you also noticed."

"Yes, I did," Winston said at once, realizing there was no point in denying it or lying. He braced himself, wondering what she would say next. He studied her face, which was severe and grave.

"Shane is in love with Paula," Emma announced in a clipped tone.

"Yes. And desperately so," Winston replied,-shaking his head. He had wondered for a long time when this would' come out in the open, and now that it had, he decided it was wisest to be completely candid with Emma. In a way he felt relieved that she finally knew. It had been a heavy burden for him to carry alone.

Desperately Emma repeated under her breath. And her heart sank. Winston was underscoring her own suspicions, confirming her conclusions. She said slowly, "Has Shane discussed his feelings for her with you, Winston?"

No, Aunt Emma, he hasn't. He's a very private man and discreet. But I've picked up a few things lately, and I've known about his emotional involvement with Paula for a while now . . . through my own observations. After all we do share the same house at weekends. To be honest I have a feeling Shane thinks I know, but he's never brought the matter up. As I said, he's extremely discreet."

Emma sat back, pursing her lips, her.eyes more reflective than before. After a short silence, she said, "They've been as close as two peas in a pod all of their lives, Winston. How could he have let her slip through his fingers?"

"I can only hazard a guess," Winston muttered, eyeing her closely. He stubbed out his cigarette, the gesture filled with sudden anger. "It's because they grew up together ... I mean, I don't think he could see the wood for the trees, see what was under his nose. I'm positive Shane only realized the depth of his feelings for her when she became engaged to Jim. And they got married so quickly after their engagement was announced, Shane hardly nad time to catch his breath. Or act. It all went very fast, as you know."

Winston now lifted his shoulders in a weary shrug and glanced away, thinking of Shane's abject misery. It had grown more intense and acute-and more noticeable-lately. He was glad Shane was going to the States-for Shane's own sake. He turned back to Emma and finished, "That's my a.n.a.lysis of what happened, for what it's worth, Aunt Emma. I truly believe that it took another man in the picture to make Shane understand how much he loved Paula.'

"Yes, I think you're correct, Winston," Emma said.

"Do you think Paula ever knew or knows that he cares about her in that way?" Emily asked Winston in a hushed voice, touching his arm lightly, looking up at him. "I honestly can't answer that, Emily. But I-"

Emma interrupted with great firmness, "I'm sure she didn't and doesn't have an inkling, dear." She cleared her throat and continued in that same clear strong tone, 'This is a most tragic state of affairs for Shane, but there's nothing anyone can do, least of all me. Not anymore. Also it's really none of my business. Nor is it anyone else's, for that matter. The last thing I want is for Shane or Paula to become topics for the gossip mongers in this family, and we all know there are a few who would love to t.i.ttle-tattle, perhaps blow this matter out of proportion. I have implicit faith in the both of you and in your discretion and loyalty. However, I must ask you both to promise me faithfully that you will never mention what you saw this afternoon to anyone ever. Is that clearly understood?"

"Of course I promise, Grandma," Emily cried in a shocked voice, looking at Emma aghast. "You must know I would never talk about Paula or do anything to hurt her, I feel the same way about Shane."

"I wasn't doubting you, Emily. I simply felt compelled to stress the importance of your absolute silence on this matter." She directed her attention at Winston.

He said, "I promise, Aunt Emma. I care about Paula and Shane as much as Emily does. And I tend to agree with you about the gossips in our family. There's also a lot of free-floating jealousy about Paula. Shane too, in many ways. They're very special people, so obviously they'll always be targets. My lips are sealed, Aunt Emma. Please don't worry about me."

"Thank you," Emma said and made a mental note of Winston's astute comments. She smiled thinly. "I would prefer it if we ourselves never referred to this matter again. 1 believe it would be best forgotten by the three of us. Shane is going away for six months. Let's hope he will forget Paula-"

"He'll never let go of her! Winston cut in fiercely, heatedly. "It's not in his nature to-" Angrily he clamped his mouth shut, regretting that he had .opened it in the first place.

But he had said enough for Emma to get a clear picture. Yes, she thought, that's what I'm afraid of, too. She said, as steadily as possible, "Perhaps he Witt always care for her, Winston. But he's a young man and virile. He has normal appet.i.tes and desires, I've no doubt. Let us hope that he'll eventually find someone who'll meet his needs and come up to his standards, a woman who can help him to forget Paula. I sincerely hope he makes a rewarding life for himself, finds fulfillment and happiness."

"I don't know about that," Winston muttered, changing his mind yet again. He ought to be truthful with Emma. He owed her that, after all. He threw his aunt a gloom-filled glance. 'And then, because he had always been able to say anything to her without a shred of embarra.s.sment, he added bluntly, "I'm sure he'll continue to have his brief, hit-and-run affairs, his s.e.xual entanglements. He couldn't avoid them, not the way women throw themselves at him. Shane's no saint, you know. And he's hardly the type to lead a celibate life. After all, Aunt Emma, you don't have to be in love with a woman to sleep with her."

"Quite," Emma said, lifting a brow, glancing at Emily.

Winston noticed this, but Emily was a big girl. She knew what was what. Undeterred, he plunged on, "I suppose you won't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway. In my opinion, Shane O'Neill will never love anyone but Paula. You said a few minutes ago that this was a tragic thing for Shane. And it is. But it's also tragic for Paula, / think. She'd have been far better off and happier with a man like Shane than with Jim Fairley."

Winston's harsh tone, not to mention his condemning words, brought Emma up with a start. She looked at him swiftly in astonishment, noticing the grim expression ringing his mouth, the angry glint in his eyes. Why, he bears a grudge against Jim, she thought, that's what his suppressed rage and resentment are all about. Winston is against Jim Fairley because he won Paula, cut Shane out.

Emma nodded, made no comment whatsoever.

Emily, her face puckering up, said quietly, "Poor Shane, life's so unfair."

"Come now, darling, you're only seeing Shane's side of this situation," Emma clucked gently, reprovingly. "Perhaps Paula doesn't think life is unfair. I'm sure she's happy with Jim. I know she loves him. And besides, Emily, whoever told you life is fair? It's most unfair, and it has always been d.a.m.ned hard in my experience. How we cope with life, react to our hardships and suffering, and overcome them-that's what really counts in the end. We must all be strong, learn from our troubles, grow in stature and character..We can't ever let adversity get us down, Emily. Now, let us end this discussion. Run along, the two of you. I want to be alone for a few minutes."

Winston went over and kissed her. So did Emily. They left together in silence.

Emma sat by herself for a while.