Emily The Strange_ The Lost Days Part 8

3. Ask for free food.

4. Make new lean-to.

5. Look for posters...yeah.

6. Um.

7. Um.

8. I really have no desire to go to Wichita.

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Blackrock may be a wretched little town, but it's the only place I have any memories of. That's tough to beat.

Later I do not remember the word for that thing you use to make bread dark and crispy. I believe it starts with a D. (???) I don't care what Jakey says, I am clearly losing my mind.

On the bright side, I still remember how to say "Life sucks."

Day 8 Finally got off the bus in Wichita, in the late late hours of the night, extremely hungry, completely stiff and sore, freezing my b.u.m off without any sleeves, and not happy about having to figure out AGAIN where to eat and sleep in a town where I know no one and nothing. So it didn't come as a complete disappointment to hear Schneider yelling "EARWIG!" from across the street.

I still ran the other way. He caught up to me.

"Let's be reasonable, huh, kid? Look, why don't we get a snack and talk it over? I think it's all going to work out just fine! Huh? I bet you're hungry? Hey?"

He had me there. I let him buy me some sandwiches and listened to him chatter. Here's what I learned: 1. The police and the school are peeved about the $243 in tickets and the forty million hours in detention I owe them. Which is why they got Schneider on the case.

2. Schneider is actually a licensed private investigator, which is how he convinced the bus depot lady to tell him what city I'd bought a ticket to.

3. Schneider thinks it's a real shame the teachers insisted on calling me Charlene when Earwig is SUCH a coooool name.

4. Schneider thinks cats are the best animals EVER and soooo much cooler than dogs!

5. Schneider thinks it's sooooooooo unfair to ha.s.sle me for unlicensed slingshot use because slingshots are, like, really coooool. And stuff.

6. Schneider is so full of manure his hair stinks.

7. Schneider also happens to know quite a lot of interesting information, such as the fact that umlaut is paying the police to agree that Curls does not need to attend school.

8. Schneider also knows that Raven went into hysterics when umlaut told her he had paid for my bus ticket out of town. Now both umlaut and Attikol are freaking out and competing to see who can find me first so that they can win her LOVE. (Retch.) 9. Schneider agrees with me that I can turn this to my advantage if I want to go back to Blackrock.

10. Schneider admits there is some reward money in it for him from BOTH Attikol and umlaut if he brings me back to Blackrock.

11. Schneider looked very uncomfortable when I wondered out loud how Attikol and umlaut would feel if they knew he had made deals with both of them.

12. Schneider reluctantly compliments me on getting this information out of him and says I would make a totally wicked private investigator.

13. Schneider agrees to give me a cut of the reward money and to never use teen slang again if I come back to Blackrock with him.

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Which is why I'm writing all this in Schneider's car on the way back to Blackrock.

Later-back in Blackrock Life is way better in Blackrock when you have A) a beautiful birdbrain who relies on you to deal with her junk mail and keep her espresso machine running; B) two rich jerks willing to pay any money to keep the birdbrain happy; and C) a PI who is worried you will tell certain rich jerks that he is a shameless double-crosser. Attikol and umlaut have paid off my tickets and "convinced" the school to drop my detention. Schneider has agreed to do some detective work for me, beginning with a search of missing persons. And I now have a permanent permit to park my new fridge box in the back alley, regardless of the street-sweeping schedule. Still dealing with floods of junk mail, but at least things are looking up.

Later Have been walking around town just to make sure no new MISSING posters with my face on them have appeared. Nada.

Spied on Attikol eating lunch with a bunch of important-looking people for a few minutes before I almost pa.s.sed out with boredom. He had better start spending his time pushing buildings to the east if he really cares about getting a date with Raven!

Later Cabbage came home to the lean-to this evening looking different somehow. I finally figured out that the bandage is off his shredded ear, and there are st.i.tches in it! Who would have done that? Maybe I should track down the local vets? Will have to write more later as the cats are all yammering at me to come with them for our nightly exploration.

I wonder if they missed me like I missed them?

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Later Excellent discovery tonight!! Those cats are gooooooooood! Right away when we got out of the fridge box they had a plan. They started leading me again, back to the spot where the security officer surprised me that one time. Except they were approaching from a roundabout way. So smart-we made it to the destination without interference. The destination turned out to be an auto impound lot surrounded with ten-foot razor wire. All four of them went up to this one spot in the fence and meowed. I was like, what? But then I saw they were sort of scratching under it. And actually, the dirt was pretty loose there, so we were able to squirm under without much problem.

I had no idea what we were doing there. But I kept following them.

I followed them through the rows of cars to one that stood out: the strangest and most beautiful van ever. I think it started out as a '63 VW van, but had mostly transformed into a bizarre and complicated contraption that looked like a science lab, rocketship, and botanical garden. And that's just what I could see from outside. The doors were chained and padlocked, and that's all I could really discover before the guard showed up with his flashlight and dog, and the cats all bailed. Just got a Polaroid and the license plate before splitting (see above and below). Will get Schneider on this tomorrow. Am half-expecting that he will have already found out who I am with his missing persons search. Fingers crossed.

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Day 9 Back to sleeping days. Up all night and it feels so right.

Met Schneider at the minipark. He says there are no missing persons that match my description. Terrible news, but he says not to let it worry me and that other leads are bound to turn up. Gave him my list of questions for him to research: 1. Owner of mystery van, license plate 51916 IBC?

2. Story of mystery van-Why was it impounded and when?

3. What happened to Rachel, former employee of the El Dungeon?

4. Background check on Raven-How does she run a business when she can't even complete a sentence? Seriously, who hired her?

5. Has she spent time in inst.i.tutional learning facilities?

6. Background check on Attikol-How did he get his money, does he have a criminal record, etc.?

7. Where is the black rock this town is named after?

8. What's with all the beige paint?

9. And all the tree stumps?

10. Is there a veterinarian in Blackrock and can I get the address?

11. Any news on buildings getting shifted one inch to the east?

12. Did Rachel have any teenage daughters?

13. How long does it take to get over amnesia?

Also told him my current theory, which admittedly needs work: Rachel is actually my mother and the owner of that amazing van. Raven is her mentally challenged, beautiful, extremely evil twin sister. I had been living with my father in another town until his sudden, tragic death, when I came here to live with my mother. Meanwhile, Raven killed Rachel so she could take over the El Dungeon and...be...popular?? (OK. Motive needs work. No telling why anyone would want to take over the El Dungeon.) (Also, no telling why I think they would be twins...Did I see a movie with this plot, or what? Naturally I don't remember.) When I arrived, Raven tried to kill me. (See ill.u.s.tration of my bruises on Day 1. Obviously souvenirs of some kind of foul play!) But I survived and only lost my memories. Now that the residents of Blackrock have seen me around, she's playing nice until she gets another chance to get me out of the way.

Schneider took notes and said it showed a lot of imagination. He also asked me where I thought Attikol fit in. Actually, I don't think he fits in at all; I just want to know his story in case there's anything I can use to embarra.s.s him.

And the black rock, well, that's just pure idle curiosity. Schneider said he a.s.sumed the town's founder, Emma LeStrande, gave the town that name, and he didn't know why. Probably some personal reason. He suggested that I might enjoy going down to the library and checking out their extensive collection of historical doc.u.ments on her. I'd rather watch milk sour.

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Later It takes forever for milk to sour, even when you are encouraging it with all the power of your mind.

As a sort of side benefit to trying to watch milk sour, I ended up spying on Raven for many hours. She does very little unless people are placing espresso orders. It's hard to imagine her plotting to kill a fly, let alone a person. But she's suspicious as h.e.l.l, all right. For one thing, she never sleeps. At least I can't figure out when she sleeps. Or eats-I've never seen her eat a thing. She doesn't drink coffee. And if no one's talking to her, her eyes get unfocused and you can practically watch her shutting down. I think she's up to no good, for sure. I wonder if it's worthwhile to check out her "secret" back room? Ehhh...Maybe if she weren't sitting in front of it 24/7. Zang, too bad she's NOT going on that date with Attikol.

Later Typical evening at the El Dungeon. umlaut flirting with Raven, Curls trying to impress umlaut, HamHawk trying to keep his chess pieces away from umlaut's friends, umlaut's friends playing Calamity Poker (and all the swearing and acrobatics that go along with that), chairs breaking the front windows, police stopping by for their nightly payoff from umlaut...yep, not much interesting going on. Sorted another huge pile of junk mail, swept the floor, gave espresso machine a tune-up. Will report back if anything worthwhile happens.

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Later Spied on Raven until around one in the morning, then the cats and I went back to the impound yard. I had brought a piece of wire, a toothpick, and a hairpin, which I thought might be helpful in picking those locks.

They WERE helpful. How did I learn to pick locks? Interesting.

Inside, the van was a little disappointing. There were tubes and wires and stuff everywhere, but it looked to me like they were just for show. So it's an art car. Not a mobile laboratory. But still, pretty cool.

Hunted all over the van looking for clues and was just about to give up when I remembered to look under the seats. I was feeling around under the driver's seat when I found something metal that felt like a lever, so I pulled it, and there was this unlatching sound, and a little hidden compartment clicked open in the side of the van. Sweet! And inside was a cat collar like Miles's and NeeChee's with a tag for "Sabbath"! Asked the cats, and sure enough, the one with the shredded ear, the Cat Formerly Known as Cabbage, answers to "Sabbath"! I put the collar on him. This is GOOD stuff-a solid link between the van and the cats! I bet the van and the cats were Rachel's. And that makes it even more likely she didn't leave under good circ.u.mstances-because what kind of person would leave their cats behind, unless there was foul play? And I bet the cats have adopted me because I am so much like her. Am looking forward to finding the last collar.

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I found one other thing in the van worth writing about. I think it pretty much confirms my theory that Raven is a cold-blooded murderer who killed Rachel, my mother, most likely after a riproaring, hairpulling struggle inside the van.

It's a chunk of her wig.

Very, very late, or early, depending on how you look at it Hung out at Jakey's and didn't leave until around dawn. He has this game called Brats Blow Chunks that we both just had to beat. It took a while.

Hadn't seen him since my ordeals with Police and School. It was kind of nice how, when he first saw me, he looked worried for about a second, and then he just started laughing.

JAKEY:.

You ran a restaurant that served human flesh?

ME:.

[Laughing.] Good one, huh?

J:.

No wonder you got 40 years of detention.

ME:.

Yeah, well, just wait till I get my revenge.

J:.