Duty, And Other Irish Comedies Part 16

DEVLIN True. And there's no use in being alive unless we can help each other. Sure 'tis for each other, and not by each other, that we should live.

NAGLE 'Pon my word, but to know how to live is the greatest problem of all.

DEVLIN That's so. Sometimes 'tis foolish to be wise and other times 'tis wise to be foolish, but the sensible man will always look out for himself and let his friends look after his enemies.

NAGLE Every word you say is true, but I must be goin' or I'll lose the train. So I'll bid you good-by and good luck.

DEVIN Good day and good luck to you also. (_Exit Nagle_) The stranger was right. A man with a watch and chain like this, and able to tell every one the time of day, could get as much on his word as he'd want.

[_b.u.t.tons his coat and takes up the newspaper, sits in the chair and commences to read. He is soon disturbed by the entrance of Bernard Falvey, Michael Ca.s.sily, two policemen, and several of the townspeople_.

FIRST POLICEMAN (_pointing to Devlin_) Is this the man who gave you the letter of introduction?

FALVEY That's the man who has brought all this trouble on me, but I'm as innocent as the babe unborn of the charge of burglary.

FIRST POLICEMAN Hold your tongue, I say. What greater proof could we have than the torn coat which you're wearin'?

FALVEY I tell you that I got this coat from a stranger I met in this house, this mornin'.

FIRST POLICEMAN And sure you're the one who can look innocent, believe me. But this won't be much good to you when you go before the magistrates. Now we'll deal with your partner. (_Places his hand on Devlin's shoulder_) I must arrest you on suspicion for being an accomplice of this strange man here who broke into Mr. Michael Ca.s.sily's establishment last night, and stole five pound notes, two silver candlesticks and a silver watch and golden chain.

DEVLIN Is it madness that has come upon the crowd of you?

Me that never stole anythin' in my life, to be accused of robbin' from a dacent man like Michael Ca.s.sily!

SECOND POLICEMAN Search him, constable.

FIRST POLICEMAN Of course, I will. (_He opens his coat, finds the watch and chain, takes it off, hands it to Michael Ca.s.sily_) Is that yours?

Ca.s.sILY Yes, constable, that's the watch and chain that was stolen from my house this mornin'.

FIRST POLICEMAN What have you to say for yourself now?

DEVLIN Nothin', only that I paid ten shillin's to a stranger less than half an hour ago.

FIRST POLICEMAN And where did you get the ten shillin's, you that haven't had ten shillin's of your own altogether for ten years, but always borrowin' money and tellin' the people that you are goin' to inherit a fortune from America?

DEVLIN Tis the truth I'm tellin' you.

FIRST POLICEMAN Nonsense, nonsense. What greater proof could we have of your guilt? This man here who you gave the letter of introduction is a stranger to the town and the piece of cloth that Mr. Ca.s.sily found hangin' on a nail in his back porch after the burglary was committed, is the piece of cloth that is missin' from this man's coat. (_Fits the piece of cloth_) And we have found the identical watch and chain on your own person.

SECOND POLICEMAN 'Twas a clever scheme of the pair of them and no doubt about it.

Ca.s.sILY I never thought that any one could add insult to injury in such a manner. I was always a friend to you, Garret Devlin, and you tried to get this man who had already robbed me, a position in my establishment so that he could rob me all the more.

FALVEY As sure as my great-grandfather is dead and gone, I tell you that I got this coat from a stranger in this very house.

DEVLIN And as sure as the devil has paid a visit this blessed day to Castlemorgan, I tell you I bought that watch and chain from a stranger also. William Driscoll will prove that there were two such men in his house.

FIRST POLICEMAN If William Driscoll says a word in your defence, he'll be arrested on suspicion also. (_To the publican_) What have you to say?

DRISCOLL Not a word, constable, not a word. I know nothin'

at all about the matter except readin' the account of the dreadful affair in the mornin' paper.

[_First policeman places the handcuffs on both, and walks them towards the door_.

DEVLIN What's goin' to happen to us at all, at all?

FIRST POLICEMAN The judge will tell you that at the next a.s.sizes.

CURTAIN

MATCHMAKERS

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT

CHARACTERS

DONAL CORCORAN _A farmer_ MARY ELLEN CORCORAN _Wife of Donal Corcoran_ KITTY CORCORAN _Daughter of Ellen and Donal Corcoran_ DENIS DELAHUNTY _A farmer_ ANASTATIA DEALHUNTY _Wife of Denis Delahunty_ CONSTABLE DUNLEA _A member of the R. I. C._

MATCHMAKERS

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT

_Place: An island off the West coast of Ireland_.

_Scene: Interior of Donal Corcoran's house. Donal and his wife seated in two comfortable armchairs by the parlour fire. The parlour is well furnished, and Kitty is busy dusting, as visitors are expected. Donal is a man of about fifty-six years, and his wife is a little younger. Donal is reading a copy of the Galway Examiner, and his wife is knitting a stocking_.

DONAL (_as he stretches the paper in front of him. With a look of surprise_) Glory be to G.o.d!

MRS. CORCORAN (_who does not notice his att.i.tude or expression_) Amen!

DONAL (_holds the paper with one hand, and brushes the hair from his forehead with the other_) Is it the way that I'm dreamin', or losin' my senses?

Or is it the way I have no senses to lose?

MRS. CORCORAN _(looking up from her knitting_) Wisha, what's the matter, at all? Did any one die and leave you a fortune?