Duplicity. Part 5

"It's okay. You're not the first one to jump to the wrong conclusion. Alec's like a big brother, big sister, and best friend all rolled into one. He looks out for me and always has since I moved here. In fact, he owns the coffee shop and the apartment I share with him."

Ugh. Now it all made sense. "Ah. I see." I turned and leaned to reach my boxers and jeans. With a struggle, I managed to pull them on without flashing my wares at Star, which was ridiculous considering the antics of the night before.

Pointless being embarra.s.sed after being so intimate.

Once I was covered, I turned to face her. "I'll go and make coffee...um...tea. Feel free to grab a shower. Bathroom's just through that door." I pointed to my en-suite.

She nodded and smiled. "Thanks. I'll be out once I'm done."

G.o.d, I loved her s.e.xy American accent and the way her cheeks turned pink when our gazes connected.

f.u.c.k. Not good. Not at all good.

I smiled and nodded like one of those b.l.o.o.d.y dashboard pets. I suddenly felt shy and unsure of myself. "Great."

I left the room and the beautiful, naked woman in my bed. I'd only taken four steps away from the door when I stopped. I wanted to go back and have a repeat of the night of pa.s.sion we had shared. But I doubted she'd want the same. I guessed she might be filled with regret at waking to the blushing, b.u.mbling, insecure idiot that was the ant.i.thesis of the alcohol-fuelled yet confident man of the night before.

I turned to walk away again when I heard footsteps behind me. When I turned, the sight of her all cute and dishevelled from sleep took my breath away. Dressed in just the sheet from my bed, she leaned her head coyly against the doorframe and smiled.

I cleared my throat, afraid of what noise would come out when I tried to speak. "Is everything okay?"

She chewed her lip for a moment. "Um...yeah. But I was wondering..."

I swallowed hard and stepped toward her. "Wondering what?" My voice sounded husky and I'd hardened in my boxers just at the sight of her leaning there.

She paused and frowned for a second. "Um...where are your fresh towels?"

That wasn't what I was expecting or hoping for her to ask, and disappointment washed over me. "Oh...yeah, sorry. They're in the drawers by the wardrobe. Help yourself."

She blushed again. "Thanks." As she disappeared back into my room, I turned to walk away with a sense of defeat, but her voice stopped me. "Fin?"

I could sense that she'd appeared again, and I turned my head to the side but didn't quite look at her. "Yeah?"

Her voice was a breathy whisper. "Join me?"

Thank you G.o.d.

I resisted thrusting my fist in the air triumphantly. "Absolutely."

I turned and followed the incredibly s.e.xy, shapely woman as she walked toward my en-suite bathroom. When she reached the door, she dropped the sheet and turned her head to peer at me over her shoulder-her cheeks tinged with pink-and I stared, hoping to memorise the way she looked; to capture this image and keep it forever. Her pink and blonde curls cascaded down her back, obscuring the top section of the ink on her smooth, flawless skin. My gaze followed the dip of her waist, onward to the curve of her pert bottom.

My mouth watered.

Absolutely stunning.

Lifting my chin again, I locked my gaze on hers. Without breaking eye contact, I removed my boxers and jeans in one swift movement and stood before her unabashedly naked and very much aroused.

Without speaking, she smiled, turned, and entered the bathroom where she turned on the shower. After taking a few deep breaths and stopping by my nightstand drawer, I joined her moments later and found her, eyes closed, already under the cascade of water, enveloped in a coc.o.o.n of steam. I stepped inside the enclosure and took in the sight of her glistening wet, naked curves. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s rose as she swept her wet hair back from her forehead, and I couldn't help but reach out and caress her. Without hesitation this time, I pulled her body flush against mine to devour her mouth and relish in the feeling of closeness and intimacy with her one more time.

The knot of desire low in my groin at being with her a second time seemed even more intense. But, in my post o.r.g.a.s.mic relaxation, doubt set in.

What the h.e.l.l was I playing at?

After placing a kiss on her nose, I stepped from the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. "I'll go and make us that drink now."

It was clear that she could sense a change in me when she switched the water off, grabbed a towel, and covered herself quickly. She simply nodded and looked away. Taking that as my cue to leave, I grabbed another towel and rubbed it through my hair as I walked, collecting my clothes on the way out of the bathroom.

Once I had dressed and boiled the kettle, Star appeared, fully clothed again, in the kitchen doorway. I handed her a cup of tea and gulped down my coffee too quickly, burning the roof of my mouth. My eyes watered as I rubbed my tongue over the sore patch of skin.

I could feel her eyes on me, and when I looked up, she winced. "Are you okay? That had to hurt."

Heat rose in my face and I nodded. "Yeah. That'll teach me for being too eager."

She placed her mug down and smiled weakly. "Look...I think I should go."

Unsure of how to react, I focused on my coffee cup. Ask for her number, you t.i.t. Say something. Anything!

Scratching my head with my free hand, I simply replied, "Yeah...yeah okay. Um, thanks for..." As soon as the words of grat.i.tude fell from my mouth, I cringed and glanced up at her.

Her brow creased and she looked utterly p.i.s.sed off. "For what? My services? Jeez. Way to let a girl down easy."

I placed my mug down and turned to fully face her. "No. It's not like that. I wasn't going to say...I mean, I didn't even think..."

She sighed. "It's fine. Guess I'll see you around. Or...or not. Whatever." She shrugged and I closed my eyes as I lowered my head.

Say something for f.u.c.k's sake, Hunter, you a.r.s.ehole.

Knowing I really wasn't in a fit state to start anything serious, I lifted my chin once again. "It was really great, Star. You seem like a really nice girl. I just...What happened last night wasn't...I shouldn't really...Oh, f.u.c.k. What I mean is..." What did I mean? Did I actually know? I doubted that very much. Why was I not asking for her number? We'd connected on many levels-not just the physical. But here I was, sabotaging any chance I had of this thing ever going any further.

I wasn't sure if the disappointment on her face was down to the fact that I was clearly blowing her off or down to the words I'd chosen. "You seem like a really nice girl" was kind of condescending, and she made no attempts to hide her ire.

Shaking her head with disdain, she snorted. "Oh my G.o.d. You'll be saying 'It's not you, it's me' next. Or 'I'm not ready for a relationship'." Her mocking tone caused my insides to twinge with guilt. "Please stop, okay? Stop before it gets to that. I really don't need you to look down on me. Okay, we had s.e.x. Twice. And it was great. And FYI, I don't usually do that either. But you seemed sweet, and I liked you, and I thought we clicked. Guess I was wrong and it was just s.e.x. But I can live with that. I'm a big girl, Fin. See you around."

Feeling more than a little ashamed, I dropped my gaze to the ring of coffee on the counter top as her footsteps carried her away from me, and I flinched as she slammed the door behind her.

Star An overwhelming sense of humiliation and hurt tugged at my insides and my eyes began to sting. Don't cry, you moron. Don't you dare cry. What an idiot I'd been. I really thought there was a chance he and I would see each other again. I wouldn't have slept with him so readily if I thought he would treat me like this. Clearly, my magnet for attracting douchebags was still in full force. I can't explain why it felt different with him but it just...did.

And the s.e.x.

Oh. My. G.o.d.

I had never felt like that before. The way he took charge of my body and put my pleasure first was something I had never experienced. But I liked it. And I wanted more. What a shame he didn't feel the same. But then again, I'd probably appeared easy, sleeping with him right away, and so I couldn't blame him, really. I mean, what the h.e.l.l did I expect?

I cringed as his words replayed in my mind. "You seem like a nice girl." Patronising b.a.s.t.a.r.d. I'm a f.u.c.king woman. In fact, it was the f.u.c.king part that had caused me heartache again. And the speech I'd given him. s.h.i.t, he'd probably think he'd had a narrow escape from some obsessive lunatic. Why in the h.e.l.l did I have to say "I thought we'd clicked"? Stupid a.s.s.

As I stomped the pavement away from his apartment, I heard footsteps behind me. It was early morning and my stomach lurched. Without looking back to confirm that I was being followed, I picked up my pace and almost broke into a run, but I heard Fin call out to me.

"Star! Star, wait!" His accent and the way my name dripped from his tongue melted my insides, and as much as I wanted to tell him to f.u.c.k off, I stopped-against my better judgement-and turned to face him. He jogged up to me, panting. "You...you left your phone." He held the misplaced item out to me and I made a grab for it. "Look...that...that didn't go quite how I'd planned. Aww, f.u.c.k it...if the truth be told, I hadn't planned anything. I just...I'm a mess right now. You don't deserve to be dragged down with me. I meant what I said about you seeming nice and...I don't want to hurt you. If this goes any further, I just know I will."

I snorted in that unladylike manner I'd apparently adopted. "I'm an adult, Fin. You didn't take advantage of me. Your conscience should be clear. And I am a nice person. But you won't be finding that out for yourself so you'll just have to go on thinking it." I turned away and he grabbed my arm, swinging me back to face him again.

"Star, if I'd met you before, this would've been-"

I yanked my arm from his grip. "Don't flatter yourself. I just felt sorry for you." Liar. I plastered on a fake-a.s.s, snide smile. "I have a thing for a pair of sad blue eyes. Like I said, you can walk away with a clear conscience." My voice betrayed me with a wobble and I looked away to avoid his penetrating gaze. I began to walk and willed him to follow. Willed him to prove me wrong-that he wasn't just another douchebag. Sadly, his feet stayed planted firmly where he had come to a stop.

I unlocked the door to my apartment and closed it carefully behind me, trying not to alert my roommate to my presence. I had no clue if he was even home.

"So...she finally returns." I closed my eyes and dropped my head at the acidic tone of Alec's voice. He suddenly appeared in front of me. "Where the f.u.c.k have you been? I've been worried sick, you silly cow." He pulled me into his arms and hugged me fiercely.

"I'm sorry, Al. I didn't mean to worry you."

He pulled away and peered into my eyes. "Worry me? It's a wonder I've any f.u.c.king hair left. And I would not look good bald."

I cringed. "My phone died." It was both an excuse and an explanation. But it was the truth. I'd realised it after Fin handed it back to me.

"Well, thank goodness it's just the b.l.o.o.d.y phone that's dead and not you. What the h.e.l.l were you thinking? Where have you been?"

I rolled my eyes. "Jeez, hold off with the Spanish Inquisition, Dad." I did actually sound like an errant teenager, and my choice of words made Alec laugh.

"Come on, Twinkle. Spill it." Alec's pet name for me had stuck ever since I met him and he decided he couldn't call me Star; apparently because it would make him sound too camp. After the length of time I'd known him, he'd become so in-tune with me and my emotions that it scared me sometimes.

"I...oh G.o.d...I ended up going back with the hunky blonde guy to his apartment."

He folded his arms over his chest and pursed his lips. "You f.u.c.ked him, didn't you?"

I gasped. "You could have chosen kinder words."

He raised his manicured eyebrows. "It was a one night stand, love. What would you call it? And I'll take that as a yes, then."

"I didn't mean for it to happen, but he poured his heart out to me over some s.h.i.t in his life and I just...I don't know...I felt for him."

Alec's face crumpled. "A pity s.h.a.g? Really? Come on, Twinkle. That's not like you."

I held up my hands defensively. "No, no. It wasn't like that. I really, really like the guy. I mean, what's not to like? He's drop dead gorgeous and he has that throaty Scottish accent thing going on. But...he seemed different."

"And this morning? Why are you not sticking around for round two?" I felt my cheeks heat and I closed my eyes. Alec whistled. "Ooh, you already had round two! So now what? Are you seeing him again?"

I dropped my bag and placed my phone on the coffee table before slumping onto the couch. "I don't think so. This morning...you know, afterward...he seemed to close down on me. He said, and I quote, 'You seem like a nice girl.'"

I heard Alec's sharp intake of breath and he covered his heart with his hand. "Ouch."

Nodding my head in agreement, I didn't need to speak. I rubbed my hands over my face and flopped back to gaze up at my best friend. "What an idiot, huh?"

He came around and sat beside me, taking my hand in his. "Not at all, darling. I think you just followed your desires and stepped out of your comfort zone for a while. Did you enjoy yourself?" My cheeks heated again as I was momentarily transported back to the pa.s.sionate scene of the night before, and I pulled my lips in to try and stifle the grin threatening to give me away.

He nudged me with his shoulder. "I'm guessing from the look in your eyes and the colour of your cheeks that he was good."

Sadness washed over me. "Probably the best I've ever experienced. Oh, f.u.c.k. Who am I kidding? He was by far the best I've experienced."

He grappled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Oh, that's s.h.i.tty. So, so b.l.o.o.d.y s.h.i.tty. If he'd been c.r.a.p you could've just forgotten about him and moved on. Chalked it up to experience."

"Not much chance of the forgetting part, but the moving on part is a given. I don't appear to have any choice."

"He may see sense yet, Twinkle. Just wait and see."

Filled with doubt, I shrugged. "After the way I handled his brush off, I won't hold my breath."

After squeezing me to him once again, Alec stood and walked toward the kitchen. "Go take a shower, darling, and I'll make you some breakfast."

I didn't bother to tell him that 'round two' had taken place in the shower and decided another one would do no harm. I could still smell Fin's woodsy shower gel on my skin, and it wasn't helping me to rid myself of the delicious memories he had helped me create-at all. With very little enthusiasm or energy, I pulled myself to my feet and made my way to the bathroom.

As I stared at my reflection in the bathroom cabinet mirror, I couldn't help but think I'd somehow changed. Not physically, that would be crazy. But something in me had shifted. Regardless of the fact that I had only just met him officially, Fin had affected me and I wasn't too happy about the fact. It's like that situation where you dream of something for so long and then you get it, only to be greatly disappointed that it wasn't anywhere near as great as you expected. Except in my case, it was way better than I ever could have dreamed until it was over. And then it really was over. I would never have it again which was probably worse than never having it at all.

But I would have to just get over it.

Fin Days pa.s.sed by in a blur after my s.e.xual encounter with Star, and I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I'd made a f.u.c.king huge mistake of monolithic proportions in letting her walk out of my life like that. But what the h.e.l.l did I have to offer her? After what had happened with my parents, the company, and losing the apartment, my head was a mess, and I couldn't figure out what the h.e.l.l I wanted to do with my life, let alone involve someone else in my s.h.i.t.

No one deserved to put up with me in such a c.r.a.ppy frame of mind-least of all someone as sweet as Star Mendoza. Just thinking of her name sent shivers down my back and conjured up images of her face and her porcelain, tattooed skin. It was like I'd tasted a drug for the first and last time all at once.

My body and soul craved her, but my head was having none of it-insisting on reminding me I was in no position to be starting a relationship until I got my s.h.i.t together and made some f.u.c.king decisions. But the problem was, once I was straightened out in my own head, there was very little chance she would give me the time of day. I couldn't blame her for that.

After a week of staying off the radar, I was bombarded by texts from Tom, wanting to know why I'd disappeared off the face of the earth. After he cajoled me for what seemed like hours, I agreed to meet him at the Jekyll and Hyde bar in the city.

I hadn't been shaving, and if I'm honest, I'd lost the wherewithal to even care about my appearance. I walked into the bar in my scruffy black jeans and an old Ramones T-shirt that was once black but had now faded to a dirty shade of grey.

Tom stood to greet me-rather uncharacteristically-with a manly bear hug, slapping my back a little too hard. "Well, h.e.l.lo, Wild Man of Borneo. Have you brought my good friend Fin Hunter with you by any chance?"

I gave a snide raise of my lip. "Very f.u.c.king funny. I need a drink."

He held up a finger. "Back in a sec." He jogged through the early evening crowd to the bar and returned a few minutes later with a Jack and c.o.ke. He plonked it down before me and sat down on the stool opposite. "So. What's the story, pal? Where've you been?"

After taking a large gulp of the dark, amber liquid, I placed my gla.s.s back down and stared into its contents. "Hiding in my own personal version of h.e.l.l. Trying to avoid human contact. You know how it goes."

He huffed out a long breath. "s.h.i.t, mate. Are things really that bad?"

I glanced up to meet the concerned stare of my best friend. "Worse. I just seem to make one mistake after another lately."

He frowned. "What do you mean? What's happened now?"

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes for a second, only to open them again when an image of Star popped into my mind. "I...I met someone."

A big grin appeared on Tom's face. "Oh yeah? What's she like?"

"She's beautiful and sweet and quirky. The complete ant.i.thesis of Elise. Oh, and she has these stunning tattoos and pink hair. And her eyes..." Realising I was maybe talking too much, I let my words trail off as I waited for some snide comment from Tom-especially about the tattoos and pink hair.