Duplicity. Part 10

He pouted sulkily. "Hey, I take offence at that."

I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm playfully. "I'm kidding around, you jerk. You were amazing. There's no wonder people have that reaction to you. You look so...I don't know...right up there. All rock G.o.d-ish."

His face scrunched. "I...I don't mean to look like that. I just...it's like something takes over me."

"Yeah. You're a regular Jekyll and Hyde, that's for sure."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Funnily enough, you're not the first to say that."

"Come on. It's not an insult. Jeez, lighten up, Fin."

"No, I mean it. I don't go up there to be all showy. I get some kind of rush. Like a release. But it's not an ego thing."

"Every performer has an ego. Even if it's an alter-ego." I snorted and regretted it immediately. A crease appeared between his brows and his shoulders sagged a little. I wished at that moment that my mouth had a rewind b.u.t.ton.

He clenched his jaw. "I'll show you I can be serious. Just you wait." Before I could try and a.s.sure him I was actually complementing him, he stormed off once again, and I was worried he had just dumped me.

Star I was having a little trouble keeping up with the guy. He had disappeared more times than Criss Angel, and I was sitting there once again, waiting for his return. When he had left me this time, he had seemed to be on a mission to prove a point. What he failed to realise was that he had nothing to prove to me. Nothing at all.

I was already gone.

Sunk.

Hook line and sinker.

Done for. Get the picture?

On the stage, some pretty, black-haired girl was rocking out to Paramore's "Misery Business" and making a great job of it, but I couldn't relax. Where the h.e.l.l had Fin gone? The girl received a loud applause but it came nowhere close to the reaction Fin had received. Music began to play once again; this time a mellow piano rang out around the room, and I guessed I would be watching another singer by myself.

It was getting ridiculous. I didn't even bother to look up at the stage. That is until a familiar voice began to sing about someone being "Strange and Beautiful". Slowly I turned my head. The lights on the stage weren't as dazzling this time, and I gasped as my gaze locked with the blonde-haired, blue-eyed man I was falling for. His choice of the wonderful love song by Aqualung pretty much sealed my fate. He sang with such intensity that tears stung my eyes.

This was Fin being Fin. This wasn't the strutting, pseudo rock G.o.d I'd observed on several previous occasions. This was the shy, vulnerable man I had met in my coffee shop, telling me he felt the same about me. Yes, it was happening fast, but I was helpless to stop myself, and judging by his song choice, he felt the same.

Wow.

He stood in the centre of the stage, holding onto the mic where it sat in the stand. The rest of the club ceased to exist. It was just Fin and me. Every so often, he closed his eyes, but then opened them again and locked his gaze on mine. My heart hammered in my chest and the intensity of what I felt for him in those moments terrified me, but what could I do? He had already stolen my heart.

It was a done deal.

I was transfixed as I absorbed the lyrics and the message he was sending me. There was no doubt in my mind that he intended me to hear them as his words. As the song ended, there was a silent pause and my heart leapt into my mouth. Remembering I was in a crowded club, I glanced around. s.h.i.t. Had the audience hated it? Then, one by one, people began banging their hands together. Soon whistles and cheers erupted around the room too, and I joined in the ovation. I didn't care that tears were now leaving damp trails down my face.

Fin humbly nodded and thanked the audience before once again making his way to where I stood. My clapping slowed but the rest of the room continued to show their appreciation. He stepped slowly toward me with something akin to fear in his eyes.

Reaching out, he touched my cheek. "Well, hopefully that was less of an ego display and you saw some of the real me up there."

Without uttering a single word, I threw my arms around his neck and crushed my lips to his. The crowd's cheers gained fervour once again, and more whistles pierced the applause. His arms slipped around my waist and he pulled me into his body as he returned my pa.s.sionate onslaught.

I pulled away and gazed into his eyes that were now somehow darker. "Can we get out of here?" I asked breathlessly.

"Absolutely. Come on." He grabbed my hand and turned, but his way was blocked by two very large, very intimidating men.

Oh, s.h.i.t.

Fin protectively pushed me behind him, and I peeked out to see what the h.e.l.l was going on. If they were going to start trouble, I needed to get a good look at their faces so I could be a witness when the cops arrived.

"Evening, gents. What can I do for you?" Fin's unwavering voice oozed confidence, even though I was a terrified, quaking mess behind him.

One of the men, tall...very tall and muscular, dressed all in black and with s.h.a.ggy shoulder length hair, was the first to speak. "We've been watching you for a while now." Huh? Oh, G.o.d. That does not sound good. Were they sent by his father? Would his father stoop so low?

Fin tilted his head to one side and his grip on my arm at his back tightened. "Have you now?"

"Aye. An' we think you're wasted."

Drugs police? But we've only been drinking beer? Unless...oh, G.o.d. Someone spiked our drinks? I feel fine, though. I rifled around my head, trying to make sense of the situation. Maybe Fin was a drug addict and they'd been watching him. I mean, how well did I really know him? The urge to run came over me, along with a sense of impending doom.

"Oh? You do, eh?" Fin carried on in his firm and calm manner, giving nothing away.

I peeked around Fin's large frame once again. The other guy, the slightly shorter but no less terrifying one of the pair, had a beard and a shaved head, was the one to speak. "Aye, that's right. A bloke with a voice like that shouldn't just be doing f.u.c.king karaoke. He should be heading up a f.u.c.king band."

What the...?

Long-haired guy b.u.t.ted in again. "And we just happen to be sans singer at the moment."

I leaned my head on Fin's back and heaved a sigh of relief. Sans singer? Seriously? Is this some kind of bad joke?

Fin laughed, making his body vibrate and relax. I guess he was as relieved as I was. "Are you kidding me? I thought you were going to f.u.c.king beat me up or something."

The two huge men burst into raucous laughter and I came out of hiding to witness not a beating, but a kind of bizarre male bonding as they all shook hands and laughed about Fin's-and my-error of judgement. Fin introduced himself and me to the guys, and draped his arm around my shoulder casually now he had relaxed.

"Thanks, guys, but I honestly think you've got the wrong impression of me. I'm...I'm a lawyer, and I'm definitely not good enough to sing with a band. I do the karaoke thing for a laugh. I just-"

"You're joking, aren't you? Have you heard yourself sing, pal? You're the f.u.c.king dog's b.o.l.l.o.c.ks." The huge man's strong Scottish accent made me smile. I could listen to that accent all day.

I glanced up at Fin to see his face scrunched in disbelief. "Nah. It's nice of you to say that, but honestly, I'm just not up to it." He tried to push past them, pulling me along behind, but they were not letting him pa.s.s.

The other guy gestured wildly at Fin. "Come on, come on, Fin. Just come and meet the rest of the crew, eh? We all agree you're the man for the job. You're amazing, seriously. And I think you may be a wee bit surprised at what you discover about us. Just come and meet everyone, eh?"

Fin turned to face me and pleaded at me with his eyes. I smiled widely and cupped his cheek with my hand. "I'm sorry, Fin, but they're right. You have an amazing voice. But it's not just that. You've got stage presence. It's like you become someone else up there. You should go talk to them."

His eyes widened for a moment. "Really?"

"Really."

"O-okay then. I think I will. Come on."

The men, Nate-the long-haired one who played lead guitar-and Billy the ba.s.s player-the bald one, took us to a table where other members of their band sat, along with their girlfriends. Nate went to order a round of drinks, and Fin sat beside Billy and pulled me into his lap.

"So, tell me more about this band of yours," Fin said, after the introductions were made.

"Well, we play for fun. We all have day jobs and we don't take ourselves too seriously. The guy who was singing for us got fed up of playing. Can you believe it? Anyways, he went off to pursue his dream of opening a b.l.o.o.d.y deli in Kelso, and so we were left with Nate on vocals. Don't get me wrong, he's not bad but...well, we want him to be able to concentrate on lead guitar, and so we've been auditioning singers for around three months now."

Nate returned with a tray full of drinks and handed them around. He handed me a bottle of beer and winked as he sat beside me. I felt my cheeks heat a little. I think I was still a little bit intimidated by the hulk of a guy.

"So, I take it none of the auditions have gone that well?" Fin said in response to Billy.

"Nah. But to be honest, we've had our eye on you," Nate informed him.

Fin shook his head, gulped his beer, and glanced at me with a look of confusion. I shrugged. He turned back to Nate. "I...I don't really get that."

Nate and Billy exchanged glances before Nate began the story. "Okay, a wee while ago you were in here all dressed up like a f.u.c.king accountant or something. You looked p.i.s.sed sitting with your mates. But then you somehow ended up on stage, singing like a f.u.c.king pro, man. It was like you'd been zapped by aliens or something. You know, given super powers or whatever. We were blown away. But you didn't seem in the right frame of mind to be approached back then so we bided our time."

"Aye, and then we've seen you a couple more times up there. You've got some kind of f.u.c.king split personality type of thing going on. f.u.c.k...when you get up on that stage, you transform from this business suit wearing, serious, straight laced dude into a f.u.c.king rock G.o.d. It's a freaky thing to watch. We all knew we wanted you for the band, but, well, it's not the kind of thing you say to a total f.u.c.king stranger, is it? 'Hey pal, you're a freak, wanna sing in our band? You'll fit right in.'" Everyone around the table laughed again.

Another guy who had been introduced as t.i.tch the drummer-which, let me tell you was totally ironic considering the fact he was another giant-joined the conversation. "Look, Fin, we're not under any illusions that we're going to be rich and famous. But we love music and we know we've got potential. We just need the right guy up front once again so we can go out there and show folk what we're made of."

"And you think I'm the one to help you do that?" Fin didn't sound convinced.

"We know you are, mate. If what we've seen you do up there on that stage..." He gestured to where a mousy-looking guy was singing "Karma Police" by Radiohead. "...is what you're capable of in a karaoke club, then we can't f.u.c.king wait to see what you do rocking out on a stage with a live band and original material." The rest of the people around the table voiced their agreement with t.i.tch.

Fin turned and gazed at me where I sat on his lap. His eyes were begging for me to say something. I stroked my finger down his cheek tenderly and smiled. "I agree with these guys. I think you should go for it."

His eyes widened. "You do? Seriously?"

"Absolutely. They're right. You are an amazing performer, Fin. You just need somewhere to showcase your talent. You have nothing to lose."

He chewed his lip for a moment and then grinned. Turning back to the guys at the table, he held up his beer bottle. "What the h.e.l.l. I'm in." Everyone at the table erupted into applause and cheers. Beer bottles were clinked, hands shaken, and backs slapped.

"So, what do you guys call this band of yours, anyway?"

Once again, the band members shared knowing glances. "Now, that's the freaky part, mate. We're called Hydde."

Star The rest of the evening was spent getting to know the guys from Hydde and making arrangements for them to meet up and rehea.r.s.e. Numbers were swapped, many beers were consumed, and there were a lot of laughs. They were such a cool bunch, despite first impressions, and regardless of how patronising it may sound, I was so proud of Fin. I didn't mind sharing his attention for the evening.

My new man, the rock G.o.d.

Because, let's face it, I couldn't resist him after he had sung especially for me, and I was going to give in. I was lying to myself if I thought otherwise. It somehow didn't matter that the situation was escalating like a runaway train going downhill. I just hoped there were no huge branches on the track...

Just thinking about him on stage did funny things to my insides and made everything below my waistline ache for him. I had promised myself I wouldn't jump back into bed with him so soon, but after that song, things had shifted. My whole world had tilted on its axis and the realisation had hit me that something in my life suddenly had the potential to have a huge impact. He felt like 'the one', and regardless of how much I told myself not to rush, my heart wasn't listening. They say the heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart wanted to ignore my head and go full pelt, head first into the deep with this guy who seemed to have some kind of dual personality.

But that just made him all the more attractive and mysterious.

It turned out the name they had chosen for the band, Hydde, hadn't been some kind of happy accident. Their band personae were their bada.s.s alter-egos. Nate, the lead guitarist, was an I.T. consultant by day, Billy was a Math teacher, and t.i.tch-whose given name was David-was a property developer. The double 'd' had been added to the name in honour of Nate's wife, Sandy's, b.r.e.a.s.t.s. The guys thought this was hilarious, whilst Sandy and I simply rolled our eyes as they guffawed like the teenage boys they still were deep down.

They all said they felt from the get go that Fin was right for the band, simply by the way he had gotten on stage in his suit and rocked out like a completely different person. And if I had believed in fate, I would have agreed that perhaps it had been Kismet at work. In fact, the more I thought things through, the more I was beginning to believe...

After bidding the group of friends goodnight, Fin and I made our way outside. He took my hand and spun me around to face him. "Hey, we didn't finish off the conversation we started earlier."

I thought back to the moment he took me in his arms when he had finished serenading me with Aqualung's "Strange and Beautiful".

I felt my cheeks heat and was thankful we were outside in the dark of the Edinburgh night. "Oh, yeah. We kind of got sidetracked, I suppose."

He released my hand, and stepping toward me, he slipped his fingers into my hair and stroked my cheeks with his thumb. "I know we said we'd take this slow...and I really want to respect your need to do that, and I do. I really do. But...I can't help the fact that I want you, Star. When we're apart, I can't stop thinking about you. I want to get this whole thing right, but I'm scared of f.u.c.king up again, so please set the pace here. Tell me what you want...please?"

Gazing up into his hooded eyes, I saw such sincerity, need, and desire all mixed together, and my mind was made up. "I want you too, Fin."

We almost ran across the city in the direction of his apartment block, only sharing heat-filled glances and smiles. A promise-filled silence hung heavily in the air between us and I was sure pa.s.sers-by could read what was on our minds. But I didn't care. Not even a little bit. I let him lead me, trying to keep up with his long-legged, determined strides.

He stopped abruptly at a crossing point, hit the b.u.t.ton to cease the relentless evening traffic, and turned to me. "Are we f.u.c.king crazy? Are we going completely mental, Star? We've known each other for what...two minutes in the great scheme of things."

My heart plummeted in my chest. "We...I mean, I can go home-"

He stepped toward me and cupped my cheek in his huge hand. Dipping forward, he rested his forehead on mine, and I could see his jaw ticking under his skin. His warm breath made my face tingle. "Oh G.o.d, no. Don't misunderstand me here. I have no intention of letting you go home. Not unless you want to. No, this...this between us. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. And it's terrifying the s.h.i.t out of me. It's all so fast. But, at the same time, I don't want it to stop."

"Neither do I."

The crossing began to beep to let us know it was safe to go, and Fin kissed my forehead before grasping my hand again so we could set off once more.

We arrived at the door of Fin's apartment, and he smiled warmly as he slipped the key into the lock, turned it, and moved aside so I could enter. Once I was standing in his living room, he appeared before me. Lifting his hand, he stroked his fingertips gently down my cheek. "I want you so much, Star. So, so much. You're like no one I've ever met. I'm drawn to you. But I f.u.c.ked things up before, and G.o.d knows I don't want to do that again." A crease appeared between his brows and his internal conflict was almost palpable.

I stepped closer and smoothed my hands up his chest. "Let's just forget what happened before, okay? I think you made it clear how you feel earlier. I think we may have pa.s.sed the point of taking it slow, but...we can take tonight slow."

He lowered his mouth to mine and inhaled deeply as his hands found my hair, and I gripped his jacket, tugging it from his broad shoulders. He removed his hands from my hair long enough to let the coat fall to the floor, but within a split second, he was pressed against me again. His heart pounded against my chest and my legs weakened as our tongues became re-acquainted, tangling in their sensual dance of l.u.s.t. Desire, hot and heavy, tingled at my s.e.x and my nipples peaked, rubbing at the lace of my bra. He pulled away from me once more and slipped his hand into mine, tugging slightly as he walked backward toward the bedroom.

Fin You know how people joke about having an angel and a devil on their shoulders? The ones who have conflicting arguments about a person's decisions? Yeah, well that was usually me. It had been me the last time I had found myself in this position with Star. Thankfully, this time my angel and devil were on the same page for once.

I led her toward my bedroom, walking backwards so I didn't have to take my eyes off her. G.o.d, she was stunning. There was no other word for her. Every strand of her silky blonde and pink hair, every permanent mark of artwork on her skin; her curves, her eyes, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Everything. I know they say fools rush in and all that, but f.u.c.k if I was going to think about that. I was overwhelmed by all these feelings and emotions that had never reared their heads before, and I just couldn't think straight.

All I knew was that the way I felt right then and there bore no resemblance whatsoever to the way I'd felt for Elise. And I nearly married her. You hear all these things about love at first sight and such, but I was a total cynic about that kind of stuff. But this girl. My strange and beautiful Star had some kind of hold over me. And yes, it was scary, but nothing worth having ever follows the easy path, surely? My erection strained at my jeans, and I ached to have her. To be inside her.

All I could think about was making love to this s.e.xy, quirky woman who broke the mould of what I had been instilled with as my 'ideal'. She was like no one I had ever encountered. Now, I know my experience had been limited, but there was no ignoring the reaction I'd had to her from the beginning. She was my heart's choice, and that was what mattered.

I was...beguiled.

Once inside my bedroom, I leaned toward her again and covered her mouth with my own. The taste of her and the feel of her heart beating against mine was an intoxicating combination; one that I definitely wanted more of.

I gripped the hem of her T-shirt and slowly lifted it up her body, revealing the trail of intricate ink as I went. I dropped the shirt to the floor and delicately traced the tattoo that caressed her ribcage. Tiny b.u.mps rose on her skin and she gasped. It was the most erotic sound I had ever heard. Reaching around her back, I unclasped her black lace bra and slipped it down her arms, freeing her pert b.r.e.a.s.t.s from their confines. My mouth watered and my erection throbbed with need. Bringing my hands back around, I watched her nipples bead as I rolled my thumbs over their delicate pink peaks. Her eyes closed and her head drifted back a little.

I let my fingers trail down the sides of the full, creamy mounds of flesh, and skimmed the inward curve of her waist. Sliding my fingers inside the waistband of her jeans, I located the b.u.t.ton and popped it open. She took over for a moment and shimmied the denim over the curve of her hips and down her slender legs. Once the jeans had been kicked aside, she stood before me in just her black lace panties, and I had never seen a s.e.xier sight.

Suddenly feeling a little overdressed, I shrugged off my own T-shirt and jeans. We were on equal footing now. Just our underwear creating a barrier between us, although parts of my body were doing their best to reach her already.

She clenched her fists at her sides as if she was desperate to touch me again but was holding back. I closed the small s.p.a.ce between us but didn't touch her. We were mere millimetres apart and the heat radiating between us could have easily sparked and combusted. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Her breathing increased in speed and her chest rose and fell as her lips parted ever so slightly. But I wanted to take my time. To learn her body's responses. I had to fight my animalistic urges to throw her down and take what I wanted. What I needed.

My own heart was thudding out a hard, desperate tempo of its own. "What do you want, Star? Tell me what you need."

With her eyes closed, she whispered, "You. I want you. I need to feel you, Fin." Her eyelids fluttered open, and she gazed up at me. I slowly lowered my head until my lips were almost touching hers. She stepped into me and seductively ran her tongue over the Cupid's bow of her mouth. Taking it as an invitation, I brushed my lips against hers, gently at first, keeping my eyes locked on her. I let my tongue sweep out along her full bottom lip before drawing it between my teeth. As if she could wait no longer, her arms came about my neck and she jumped, wrapping her legs around me and almost knocking me from my feet.