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Chapter 559 This is a Robbery
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So, where did Sanguine disappear to? To answer this question, a few things needed to be taken into consideration.
First, Sanguine is the Daedric Prince of Dark Desires which fairly extends from the smallest Nasty Pranks to actively indulge oneself into Serial Killing. Any sort of dark indulgence there would be the path of Sanguine. Getting Drunk and doing all manner of drunken atrocities is part of the list as well and here is where the problem lies. Jon was having problems with drinking since his metabolism can deal with most poisons let alone alcohol thus Sanguine promised Jon to make him the drink which will get him completely hammered. Second, the way Sanguine made contact with Jon was through his Avatar, Sam Guevenne, as Daedric Princes can't manifest on Tamriel without the help of a mortal medium especially in the late 200 years after the Oblivion Crisis. How or where do they find Mortal Vessels is beyond Jon's knowledge. The other Avatar he met before was a Breton called Theodor Gorlash who was an avatar of Sheogorath who came and acted as a Gothi at his wedding.
With little to know, Jon wondered how he would embark on a journey to rescue a Daedric Prince so that everyone else can get drunk.
"My Thane, I suggest you give up. You are under obligation to report what just happened here to Jarl Balgruuf as one of the duties related to your badge of office."
Jon, who was lying on the ground in the middle of the yard of fort Greymoor, looked back at her and furrowed his brows.
"Lydia? Since when have you been here?" Jon asked, having trouble remembering some side details from yesterday's mayhem.
It was safe to say that Lydia just kept looking at him without even blinking. The pa.s.sive-aggressive look in her eyes kicked some memories back into his hungover head as he remembered some woman with black hair following along through the mayhem. She was never drunk or anything, she was just observing.
"Since… the beginning, huh?"
"…"
"Alright… is everyone ready to go?"
"Where to, my Thane?"
"After Sanguine or Sam Guevenne or whoever knows any clue about this s.h.i.tshow."
"Aside from you, Master Mirren and Master Wulfur, the rest haven't still recovered from that alcohol. Even Mistress Nefert.i.ti is like that." Lydia pointed at the nearby tower where Nefert.i.ti was experiencing a mental breakdown.
"Hooman! No! Hooman! Why? I ate my hooman and I don't feel bad about it! What is going on? Why am I walking upside down?"
Seeing her in her human form, lying on her back and fighting her illusions; Jon felt a little apologetic about it.
"That's not liquor, it's catnip." He said.
"I will contact mistress Alina and ask her for instructions then." Lydia seemed determined to bring this ordeal to an end.
"Alright, alright!" Jon held his swinging head and stood up waving at her, "Ah! I have a head for a hundred. Listen, take the pa.s.sed-out ones home. Leave me with Wulf and Mirren… and I'll do something about Nefert.i.ti. *Whistle* Girl, get down here!"
"NoOoOoOo! I still hear hooman! I'm not pregnant, right? NOOO!" Nefert.i.ti held her head and started screaming and kicking around.
"What should I tell mistress Alina about your future whereabouts?" Lydia asked.
"Mistress Alina this, Mistress Alina that? Why do you keep threatening me as if you're holding some sort of advantage?" Jon turned to Lydia with an annoyed face.
On the other hand, she faintly and mischievously smiled but hid that smile away in the same instant, not fast enough for Jon not to notice thought.
"You little…" Jon felt betrayed by his housecarl but there wasn't a thing he could do about it, Lydia was under instructions from Alina to keep tabs on Jon all the time he's out for fun.
"Alright." He gave up, "Tell Alina I will go save the world by looking for a missing Daedric Prince whose sphere is fading or else every liquor maker in the world will run out of business, capisce?"
"Understood, my Thane."
Jon instantly summoned [Pride] and opened a portal for Lydia who started carrying Vladimir, Hafthor and the rest of the pa.s.sed out gang. Before she could say anything, Jon came from behind her and "lightly" pushed her into the portal before closing it right away.
"Good Lord above! Now we can think straight." Jon looked around and walked to Mirren and Wulfur who were still holding their heads, "Remember that Oblivion tour we were talking about. It is happening, gentlemen."
Saying that so bluntly, the other two looked at him with heavy heads.
"Some other time, please."
"Yes, not now."
The two seemed to be out of energy just from rampaging last night. Their hangover was even worse than Jon's whose recovery was abnormally fast. He collected the depressed Nefert.i.ti and waited an hour until his friends were able enough to listen to him after consuming a few bottles of hangover remedy.
Jon wasn't sure what exactly had happened but he recovered a normal bottle of alcohol and no matter how much the others drank from it, they didn't even get a little bit tipsy. On the other hand, the liquor brewed by Sanguine was still potent enough to make Jon feel worried about smelling it.
"So… you're telling us that Sanguine made this whole mess by giving you a liquor that ruined all the other liquor in the world?" Wulfur asked.
"Then you got a word from Oblivion that the said Daedric Prince has disappeared after using up too much power?" Mirren continued.
"That sounds about right." Jon agreed.
"And that?" Wulfur pointed at the cage nearby.
The three turned around for a cage made of reinforced metal, the same kind Jon uses for his Daedric experiments. In that cage, a small dog was sitting innocently dangling his tongue and whining from time to time.
"If your memory hasn't still recovered, this is a dog that Jon captured, suspecting it to be a Daedric ent.i.ty." Mirren said.
"You serious?" Wulfur felt it is a bit extreme, "This looks like an innocent little pub."
Those words weren't really wrong for someone who just took a single glance at the unfortunate creature. Still, they weren't a good enough excuse to sway Jon.
"Wulfur! Have the dogs licked your brain?"
"N- No!"
"Have their pathetic puppy eyes power tricked you?"
"Never, man!"
"Good! Look at that and tell me what you see?"
"… A- A dog?"
"Look even closer!"
"It's just a dog, I swear."
"Hmph! I'm disappointed in you, brother." Jon said as he pointed the end on his staff towards the caged dog and hit it with it.
And all of a d.a.m.n sudden, the Dog spoke while barking as his voice was transmitted with some sort of telepathy. It was angry and started moving away from Jon.
"See?" Jon finally got to do the presenting pose.
""Daaayum! The dog just spoke!"" Wulf and Mirren reacted at the same time while leaning back in awe.
The reaction made the dog park in anger.
"As I was saying. This piece of s.h.i.t is a talking dog. The most taboo in our Cat Cult if you ask me." Jon added.
"So… that thing… is it Daedric?" Mirren asked.
"And that sums up why you shouldn't trust dogs." Jon commented.
"STUPID DOGGOOO!"
All of a sudden, Nefert.i.ti (on catnip) charged at the cage and started pa.s.sing her arms through its bars wanting to beat up the panicking Barbas.
Jon shook his head at his hopelessly high cat and lifted her up from her nape.
"You can turn into your normal form and slide through the bars without effort, you know." He said.
"Hm?" She thought for a while before deciding not to, "Nya… too tired…" She dozed off and started purring on his arm.
"As I was saying. This whole s.h.i.ty situation started developing when a dog showed up. That's a bad sign I tell you." Jon returned to the subject.
"Overlooking the dog itself, his ident.i.ty as Clavicus Vile's pet is troublesome." Wulfur noted, "What should we do with it?"
"As much as I hate Clav, having his dog in a cage is better than killing it. You see, Clav gets annoyed by the mutt so often so he throws him into Nirn. If you kill Barbas, he returns to Oblivion where his Master is. I am not sure about why Clav would throw his dog but in truth, that Dog is the actual vessel of Clav's powers. Without it, Clav is kinda powerless." Jon explained the relationship between Barbas and Clavicus Vile.
"Oooh! And as an enemy of Clavicus Vile, you wouldn't give him his power back." Mirren realized it.
"Exactly. Clav is still strong of course as a Daedra but his influence is now disturbed. Now. Sanguine is somehow lost while Clav's dog was loitering around, what do I get from that?" Jon asked while eyeing the traumatized dog in the cage.
"And why would I, Monarch of the Cat Cult, believe in a Dog?"
"That dog is bluffin." Wulfur pointed, "He insists that he has nothing to do with it and has no ability to do something to Sanguine. That doesn't mean he doesn't know what happened to Sanguine!"
"Cat Bless, brother Wulfur." Jon held the hand of the sleeping Nefert.i.ti and blessed Wulfur with a pat.
"BLESSINGS! BLESSINGS! All blessed…" Nefert.i.ti woke up all of a sudden and gradually returned back to sleep.
"As the Supreme Monarch of the Heavenly Cat Cult…"
"Has the t.i.tle just got bigger?" (Mirren)
"… I suspect this dog to be conspiring against Sanguine!"
"So the dog knows things, as expected of your twisted kind. I, the Divine Supreme Monarch of the Celestial Heavenly Cat Cult, will give you a chance to clear your name." Jon said.
"You're going too far with the t.i.tle, mate?" Wulfur said
"I know, right? It is actually the High Fluff but that won't intimidate that dog. Look at it shivering from the grand names I come up with." Jon nodded, "Ehem, speak little mutt. What do you know?"
"I see… the Presence of Kynareth. Strange! My wife would have known if it was anything related to Kyne." Jon scratched his chin, "What about Dibella?"
"No clues in that direction, huh? Find, now you have to guide me to that location of Kyne's Presence." Jon kicked the cage before carrying it up with one arm.
"Are you sure?"
"You lying son of a b.i.t.c.h… which is not an insult for a dog now that I think about it. See how tricky it is with Dogs? Those b.a.s.t.a.r.ds! Fine, you go first!"
Ignoring Barbas the Dog and his rambling, Jon tossed the cage with all his strength across the sky.
"My Cat Cultist friends, I present to you the correct and the most accurate way to play Fetch with a dog. Toss the dog and go fetch it. Very satisfactory."
***
Barbas would expect that the cage he was tossed in would shatter but the Dare Industries products are known for their st.u.r.diness above all else. A few minutes pa.s.sed and three men appeared.
"Ready to tell me where the right direction is? You know I would keep tossing you until we arrive there so make sure to get tossed around the least number of times." Jon said with a smile that is not really a smile.
"Next time, use the seat built, you a.s.s. Now, which direction?*
A few tosses later, Jon could finally feel the presence of Kynareth as well. It was moving around on the ground level away from the main routes. According to Jon's memory, these are smuggling routes. He tossed the cage one last time towards the presence and it fully stopped.
"Let's go see."
With [Bloodskal] in hand, Jon and his sworn brothers marched forward a few hundred meters until they found a caravan of smugglers. Redguards, Imperials, Argonians and some Elves. Exactly the kinds one would expect of a smuggler's caravan.
The smugglers saw Jon and he saw them, with a smile, he walked towards them showing a smug att.i.tude.
"Ladies and Gents, you are carrying an item which I wish to relieve you the effort of moving around. What say you?" He said ignoring the dead smuggler which Barbas' cage landed on.
The smugglers were still trying to realize what sort of situation was this before one of the escorts decided to face Jon.
"Get lost, kiddo. This is no place for playing." The mercenary guy said.
Jon, Wulfur and Mirren tilted their heads almost at the same time. What part of Jon would suggest that he's a kiddo? Maybe his skin is smooth and has no rough spots but to mistake him for a kiddo.
"You die first." Jon pointed at the cargo and spoke, "I won't be gentle anymore, this is a robbery.
He used [Telekinesis] on one of the carriages and threw in front of the caravan to prevent anyone from escaping on the narrow road.
"He's… He's a Mage. Take him out first!" The Mercenaries charged at Jon who was having a cringe look on his face.
Wulfur walked past him and with his Daedric Hammer Artifact, [Volendrung], he hit a man with a *ting* sound all the almost 50 meters up in the air. The poor guy died after the head and his lifeless body made an arc before the sky and the land while causing everything to look up and down with the fallen corpse.
"Ki… Kill the Mage first, deal with that monster later."
They all avoided Wulfur and headed towards the feeble mage, little did they know… or little did they live afterwards.
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