Don't Scream Part 60

Her eyelids fly open. One what? You mean a secret?

He nods.

What? The word is barely audible, tainted with dread.

Tildy She was She and I were She and I.

At that phrase, Brynn seems to instantly comprehend what hes trying to say. He can see the realization sweep through her. With it comes disbelief then pure anguish.

You had an affair with her?

No. Not an affair. You and I werent married when it happened.

So it was before we met? Now shes relieved.

He forces himself to admit, No. Not before we met. I mean, it was going on before we met, but It didnt end when we did.

He wants to turn away from the stark pain on her face, but he wont let himself.

But She pauses, swallows hard, tries again. But you said that was against your rules.

It was different with her. She wasnt somebody I wanted to be with.

But you were.

Not the way I wanted to be with you, the way Iwas with you. When I met you, I knew you were different. I knew you were someone I wouldnt want to let goand, my G.o.d, Brynn, that scared the h.e.l.l out of me.

So you cheated on me.

No! Not when we were married.

Its still cheating. It was still me. Still us.

Dont say that. This is hard enough.

It didnt happen very many times. I was stupid.

Yes, Brynns tone is brittle as black ice, you were. I cant believe you would It happened a long time ago, Brynn. He chooses his next words carefully. Almostten years ago .

Ten years ago.

Just like Rachel.

She closes her mouth, swallowing whatever she was poised to say next.

I swear to you that it never happened after we were married. I never broke our wedding vows.

I dont know if I can believe that, she says, as though shes reading his mind.

You have to. Its true.

How can I trust you?

You always could. Since weve been married. Tildy even tried, once, toyou know. In Boston last summer, she You saw her in Boston?

We ran into each other. Fiona was there, too, and She didnt tell me? And you didnt tell me?

I couldnt. I was afraid to. I was afraid youd think something happened.

Why would I think that? Why would I suspect that my husband would ever cheat on me with my friend? She shakes her head and swallows audibly. I cant believe I was so d.a.m.ned stupid. And blind. And that the three of you kept this from me. Especially Fee. Especiallyyou .

Nothing happened, he repeats. Tildy tried. But nothing happened. I didnt kiss her, I didnt touch her. I love you, Brynn. I would never jeopardize our marriage.

She says nothing.

Look, he says, reaching toward her, lets Dont touch me. She moves back. And dont sleep in here tonight.

But You never do anyway. And now I guess I know why.

That isnt true. And it isnt fair.

Fair? Dont even say the wordfair after what you You kept something from me, too, he cuts in icily. Remember? And I forgave you.

That was different.

Not at all. You had your secret. I had mine. Now its all out in the open.

I wish it wasnt. Shes crying now. I wish you had never told me.

So do I,Garth thinks grimly, as he leaves the room.

That was such a good movie. Ashley leans her head on her aunts shoulder as they watch the closing credits ofMary Poppins.

Theyre in the small parlor at Cedar Ridge Inn, where Aunt Dee is staying.

Aunt Deethats what she asked Ashley to call her. Dee was your mothers nickname for me when we were kids, she said, her eyes flooded with tears. When I grew up, I decided I hated it but not anymore. Now I miss it. And her.

Theres a DVD player and television here, so Aunt Dee rentedMary Poppins and invited Ashley to spend the night.

She figured Daddy wouldnt be crazy about that idea, especially on a school night, but Aunt Dee talked him into it somehow.

Maybe she pointed out that sh.e.l.l be leaving soon, to go back to her own life. She hasnt said anything yet about exactly when that will happen, but Ashley knows she cant stay forever.

She only fervently wishes it, every chance she gets.

I cant believe youve never seen this movie before, Ashley. Especially since your mother always loved it so much. She knew every word to every song, and she used to go around singing them all day long. It drove everyone crazy.

No way! I cant even imagine that.

Oh, your mother drove people crazy all the time, Aunt Dee says with a chuckle.

No, I believethat . She drives a lot of people crazy now, too. Especially me. Ashley hesitates. I mean, shedid . But anyway I just cant imagine her singing.

She doesnt sing?

Never. Not around me, anyway. She hardly even talks to me. I mean,talked to me. Not unless she was telling me what to do.

Aunt Dee doesnt say anything to that. Shes probably thinking Ashley shouldnt be saying anything bad about her mother.

And you shouldnt,she tells herself guiltily.

She was a great mom, she says aloud, to make up for that. I loved her so much.

Really? Aunt Dee seems happy to hear that. Tell me some stuff you loved about her.

Well, she was really good at her job. She built a business from scratch. Not just anyone can do something like that. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication.

You sound just like her.

Thats cause she used to tell me that all the time. She said I could make anything happen, if I worked hard enough.

Thats true. What else was great about her? As a mom, I mean.

Um Well, she was really good at telling me stuff about how I should look. You know, about standing up straight, and keeping my hair around my face, and which clothes to wear. Not to eat sweets because of my cavities. Stuff like that.

Aunt Dee nods. What else?

Ashley thinks about it.

Ashley? Aunt Dee prods after a minute.

There were just a lot of good things about her, she says with a shrug, looking down at her hands twisting around each other in her lap.

Aunt Dee puts a hand under her chin and forces her to turn her head and look at her. I know she wasnt the perfect mom, Ashley. And so did she.

No, she You dont have to pretend she was. I know she wishes she had spent more time with you.

To Ashleys surprise, Aunt Dee is starting to cry.

Did Mom really say that?

Aunt Dee hesitates before she nods, and Ashley shakes her head.

She didnt say it. You made that up.

It was how she felt, whether or not she ever actually said it to me, or to you, Ashley.

I dont think it was. She didnt seem like she wished she could spend more time with me. And even if she wanted to Cut it out,Ashley tells herself sternly. You cant say that.

Even if she wanted to spend more time with you, what?

Ashley blurts, I wouldnt really have wanted to spend more time with her. She made me nervous sometimes because I felt like I wasnt good enough.

At what?

At anything. And sometimes I used to wish She trails off.

No, thats too horrible. Dont you dare say it.

What did you wish, Ashley?

It sounds like Aunt Dee is holding her breath, waiting for an answer. Ashley doesnt dare look up at her, afraid sh.e.l.l be able to read the terrible thought in Ashleys mind.

I cant tell you.

Why not?

Because its really bad.

You can tell me anything.

Not this.

I promise I wont tell anyone. And sometimes I wish really, really bad things, too.

You do?

Aunt Dee nods.

Ashley takes a deep breath. Sometimes I used to wish something would happen to my mother, so that I could have a new mom, she says in a rush, then collapses against her aunt in a rush of tears and guilt.

Aunt Dee holds her close and strokes her hair, exactly the way a mother does Exactly the way Ashley always wistfully longed for her own mother to hold her.

But she never did.

And now she never will.

Brynn saw Fionas mountain retreat once before, when the two of them were driving around in a realtors Mercedes SUV looking at houses for Fee to buy.

Nestled on a wooded lot along a steep, winding road, the three-bedroom log cabin has painted green shutters, a pair of dormered windows, and a porch with wooden rocking chairs.

Brynn thought it was infinitely charming that warm spring afternoon, in dappled sunlight.

This frosty autumn morning, shrouded in cobwebs of heavy mountain mist, the cabin has a foreboding air.

Seven lonely miles from Cedar Crest, out of the nearest cell phone towers range, Brynn feels completely isolated from the rest of the world.

But you arent. Not really.