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She decided to press every available monk for an opportunity to speak to the abbot. Plainly his vow of silence existed only outside his monastery, so surely he would now reveal to her what was happening. He might even explain the dreams that had drawn her back to this forsaken place.
There was a light knock at the door. When it opened, the abbot himself was standing there dressed in his full robes and crested saffron hat. His voice was frail. 'Miss Waterfield, please may I speak with you?' Without waiting for a response, he started to edge his way into the room and she saw that he was without his staff.
She took his hand and guided him to a chair.
'I think that perhaps we already know one another,' he whispered as if he was afraid of being overheard.
'Yes,' she said. 'I think so too.'
He reached forward with his gnarled fingers and she let him run them gently over the contours of her face. 'Are you really the same Victoria who came to Det-sen so long ago?'
'Yes. I was here fifty years ago, when the monastery was attacked by the Yeti and the Great Intelligence.'
The old man groaned. 'And I was little more than a novice.'
'You were very kind and brave,' said Victoria and she started to feel tears welling in her eyes. On a sudden impulse, she reached into her bag and produced the chocolate that Charles had given her. She broke off a piece and put it into his hand. 'It's all I have to give you. I hope it's not against your vows.'
He sniffed at the chocolate and then popped it into his mouth. As he chewed a smile crept across his wizened face.
'The books tell that your companion the Doctor returned to us after a gap of three hundred years. And now you return and time has not touched you either.'
'Well, not much anyway,' she murmured. 'But what's happened here? Why is the monastery so neglected? And the other lamas. What's happened to their sight?'
He was silent for several seconds. In the distance, Victoria could hear the tinkling of tiny bells.
'You are still too inquisitive,' he muttered. 'Some things are better left unseen. We follow our disciplines.'
'You can't mean you've willingly gone blind? That's horrible!'
His voice was grave and quiet. 'Victoria Waterfield, what do you seek?'
'I'm looking for my father. Is he here?' It was the first time she had admitted as much to anyone. It had frightened her for years. Now that she spoke the words, they seemed flat and hopeless.
'What makes you think he is at Det-sen?'
'Please, you must tell me.'
The Abbot Thonmi sighed deeply. His every action seemed part of a weary task. 'You should not have come. Det-sen is no longer a welcoming place. We do not deal with outsiders. Our disciplines must be maintained.'
'Why?' she said. 'You've cut yourselves off. What do you have to hide?'
'Much,' he replied.
'And my father. Is he really here?'
Thonmi slowly shook his head. 'If you you still appear so youthful, how old must your father be?' still appear so youthful, how old must your father be?'
'Please. Just tell me.'
'You must leave here in the morning.'
She studied him for a moment, unsure of what to believe.
'You could have stopped me coming here days ago. And if you don't speak to outsiders, what were you doing in Lukla?'
She suddenly thought he might have come to meet her.
He smiled grimly. 'Life is a journey, my child. The Thonmi you once knew lived in the light, but his path led into darkness. It is an eternal battle. The Great Wheel turns. The flame gutters. Sometimes the light is only seen when we stand in the shadows. That is our journey. Not yours. Yours goes on from this place and time.'
'I don't know,' Victoria said. 'I was certain...'
'Do not seek him here in this sad place. You are remembered with grace at Det-sen. But this time you cannot help us. You are a welcome guest tonight, but do not stray into the holy shrines. They are sacred and must not be disturbed.'
She nodded sullenly. 'I understand.'
He rose and started to grope for the door.
'Shall I fetch you your staff?' she asked.
'No! Not that!' he snapped. For a moment he glowered and then his courtesy returned. 'You are kind. When we have moments of lucidity, we must seek to find our own way...
without guidance.' He bowed his head in her direction. 'Sleep soundly,' he said and disappeared into the darkness outside.
She lay in the dark still fully dressed, unable to sleep, expecting at any moment to rise weightless out of her body and begin her nightly journey.
Somewhere the monks were chanting a mantra, a deep pulsing chant that seemed to well up from subterranean depths like shadows echoing endlessly in the black throat of the night.
The Abbot Thonmi was nurturing forbidden secrets. The sad old man had admitted as much. But what did he mean by his 'moments of lucidity'? Or, by implication, his moments of darkness too? As a blind man he must know all about that.
Det-sen seemed to be in the grip of some new terror. She was determined to help rid the monastery of its curse. Surely that was what the Doctor would have done.
' Victoria! Where are you? Victoria! Where are you? ' '
The voice again. It filled her with relief and fear. Yet this time it was distant, not close by her ear and she was still wide awake.
' Are you listening, Victoria? I know you can hear me. Are you listening, Victoria? I know you can hear me. ' '
It was real. It was calling from somewhere in the very depths of the monastery. So much for the abbot's sermon. She slid off the bed and opened the door slowly. The chanting had stopped. The hall was deserted.
She moved silently out and darted through the shadows.
The flagstones were cold on her bare feet. In the courtyard, a huge statue of Buddha lay where it had been thrown down by the rampaging Yeti robots over half a century ago. Another smaller Buddha had been set up in the place where it had stood. The past was accepted here and could not be changed.
' Why do you neglect me when you are so near? Why do you neglect me when you are so near? ' '
His voice was raging on and it occurred to Victoria, not for the first time, that he must be much changed from the kind and gentle father she had known and loved so much as a child.
She moved along the torchlit corridors, past the halls and kitchens, trying to remember the way, constantly frustrated by the walls and doors that she could pa.s.s directly through in her dreamstate.
Finally, at the end of a pa.s.sage, she saw the great doors that she knew led to the Inner Sanctum. These were barred by a heavy bolt of wood the size of a plank and she could not simply push through.
' Well? How much longer must I wait? Well? How much longer must I wait? ' '
'Where are you?' she called aloud.
' Here. Alone in the darkness. Here. Alone in the darkness. ' '
The voice came from beyond the doors. She set her hands to the wooden bolt and started to push it laboriously away. Her hands were soon full of splinters, but slowly the barrier was yielding. With a final effort, she yanked the bolt free and started to push the doors inwards.
Inside, the chamber was exactly as she had seen it, with an overturned chair, a torn veil and moonlight that cut in through the broken ceiling like a blade.
She leant against the door in despair. 'Now what do I do?'
she complained aloud.
' I am here in the darkness. Find me! I am here in the darkness. Find me! ' '
'Where?' She walked slowly into the Sanctum.
' Here! Here! ' '
A gentle voice at her shoulder startled her.
'Turn back now, Victoria.'
The Abbot Thonmi had been waiting in the shadows inside the door. His crested hat caught the moonlight like the beak of a huge bird of prey. He carried an ornately carved ceremonial staff. Either there was another way into the Sanctum, or the monks had locked him in for his vigil.
' Victoria... Victoria... ' echoed the voice. ' echoed the voice.
'I have to find out,' she protested. 'My father died far away. On another world.'
The old lama's head turned towards her voice. He edged slowly towards her using the staff as a guide.
'There are many other worlds, other planes.'
She reached out to touch his hand. 'But I can hear his voice in my thoughts. He called me and I travelled all this way.'
'No,' insisted the abbot. 'Demons and hungry ghosts steal many shapes. Please turn away, Victoria.'
' Why do you delay? Release me! Why do you delay? Release me! ' '
Her father's voice seemed to be coming from somewhere below. She noticed a shadowed alcove set into the side wall of the Sanctum. There was another arch inside the alcove from which a green glow had started to filter.
'I know he's here.' She started to move towards the alcove, but the abbot's staff swung up to block her way.
'A second time I ask, what do you seek?'
'What have you done to him?' she demanded. She pushed against the staff, but he held her firmly, forcing her back.
' I am alone in the darkness, I am alone in the darkness, ' the voice groaned despairingly. ' the voice groaned despairingly.
'Do not disturb it,' warned the lama. 'It is not not your father. It is delusion!' your father. It is delusion!'
The staff pinned her to the wall.
' Victoria! Victoria! ' '
'Let me through!' she shouted.
'I cannot!'
It was more than she could bear. 'What are you hiding here? Who is it then?'
'For the third time I ask, what do you seek?
'I want the truth!' she cried in despair.
There were long moments as her plaint echoed away through the cold arches of Det-sen.
At last, the Abbot Thonmi turned wearily away from her.
His will and spirit were finally broken.
'You were expected,' he said quietly. 'My task is ended. I cannot prevent your journey into the dark.' He ceremonially raised his ornate staff towards her. 'Perhaps Truth may light your way.'
Victoria stared in disbelief at the frail and blind old man.
'Take it!' he insisted.
Bewildered, she took the staff from his outstretched hands and watched as he started to grope his way out of the open Sanctum door.
There was a low moan from the depths.