Distortion: Shades Of Resolution Part 4

Stephanie looked up at Nate. His sandy blond hair waved out in different directions. His big brown eyes looked back at her under his raised brows that gave him a youthful look despite being a man. A scar ran across his jawline that carved through his unshaven face and she was surprised the thought that he looked adorable twisted into her muddled brain.

"What do you want, Nate?" Stephanie said, pushing up to lean against the headboard. She pulled the blankets up tight around her.

"Can I sit?" He pointed toward the end of the bed.

"Yes, of course."

Nate very slowly came around the foot of the bed and sat on the edge like he was terrified she was made of gla.s.s, and if he moved too suddenly she would break. "Your boyfriend is a douche," Nate said, looking up at her. "He was out on the front step looking at p.o.r.n on his phone while you are in here..." Nate trailed off. "Sorry, it's not my place to f.u.c.kin' say nothin'."

Stephanie sighed. "Is that what you wanted to talk about?" She wasn't surprised that Nate's words didn't elicit an emotional response from her, reaffirming the fact that she needed to tell Mike it was over. She didn't want the illusion of love anymore. She knew how precious life was and she only wanted to be surrounded by what was real. She needed something solid to hold onto when she wasn't her best.

"No." Nate shook his head. He was nervous; she could tell by the way he picked at her bedding. "I know this isn't a good time..." Nate trailed off. Now that he was closer she could see he was visibly upset.

"It's all right, Nate. I know it's important, otherwise you wouldn't have broken into my room." Stephanie tried to smile encouragingly but it wouldn't form on her face. She wondered if she would ever be able to smile again.

"That night when we found you and you told me that Masten put that tattoo on you. Do you know why he did?" Nate looked at her with so much pain in his eyes it made her chest hurt to look at him.

Stephanie touched her neck where the rose was. Tears filled her eyes as she looked back at him. "I don't know...why are you asking me this?" Stephanie whispered as the tears escaped her and ran down her cheeks.

Nate dropped his gaze and looked around the room as he took a deep breath. He grew too quiet and it scared her.

"Why are you asking?" Stephanie demanded, a little harsher this time.

Nate reached over his shoulder and pulled his shirt over his head. Stephanie was confused as she pulled her blankets up to her neck. It wasn't until he stood up and turned toward her that she understood what he was doing. Nate was covered in tattoos that extended the lengths of his arms and the majority of his back, but his chest was bare except for a lone tattoo that was placed over his heart. It was the exact same rose that was tattooed on her neck.

Stephanie gasped and placed her hand over her mouth. "I don't understand."

She pushed her blankets off, unconcerned by the fact that she wore only her underwear and a thin tank top. She walked up to him, staring at his chest. She could feel the scowl of confusion form upon her brow as she took in the details. It was not a new tattoo. This had been placed on his heart for a long time.

Without thinking, she touched the petals of the rose and traced the lines. "It looks the same," Stephanie said in disbelief.

"It is the same," Nate confirmed.

Stephanie looked up into his dark brown eyes. "How can it be?" she whispered.

"My mother went missing when I was only five years old." Nate pulled a wallet out of his back pocket and flipped it open. He pulled out a photograph and held it up for Stephanie to see.

With shaky hands, Stephanie took the picture. A young woman was smiling back at her with the exact same tattoo on her neck. "What was her name?"

"Rose."

A sob escaped Stephanie before she could cover her mouth. "Oh my G.o.d," she cried. "He called me Rose. You think she was one of the other girls?"

Nate nodded his head and bit his lip nervously.

"Is this why you have been acting so strange around me?" Stephanie asked quietly.

Stephanie looked up into Nate's tear-filled eyes. "I need to know what happened to her. I need to know what she went through," he whispered.

Stephanie pa.s.sed back the photo and wiped her eyes. She took a deep, shaky breath to collect herself. "If she is the same Rose, then I think in his own twisted way, he loved her. He told me he did. I wish I could tell you she didn't suffer, but I can't...I can't..." Stephanie trailed off in tears.

She wasn't expecting Nate to wrap his arms around her, but the feeling of comfort it gave her was beyond anything she could imagine. His warm body and strong arms made her feel safe.

"We don't need to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry," Nate said, stroking her hair.

She clung to him, wrapping her arms around him she pulled him closer, seeking all the relief he could give her as she cried against his chest.

She wasn't sure how much time had pa.s.sed when he leaned down and picked her up to carry her to the bed. He set her down gently and Stephanie finally relaxed her hold as he stepped back. She hadn't known Nate very well until now, but she felt a strange connection to him with his admission. She patted the spot beside her on the bed. "Please stay with me," she requested quietly.

His eyes danced around, she could tell he noticed her state of dress and was trying to be polite in not staring.

"Please," she insisted. Nate nodded his head and sat down tentatively next to her. "Where did you get all the scars?" she asked, looking at the marks that covered his skin. He had a long scar that carved from his shoulder down toward his chest, and small narrow scars on his left side, and a few across his stomach.

"I grew up on the streets. Most are tokens of my childhood, so to speak, and the rest are me being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"This one looks like it was bad," Stephanie whispered as she touched his shoulder. She could feel him shaking under her touch. "Are you all right? You're shaking."

"You make me really nervous," Nate confessed.

"Me? Why?"

"I...can you pull the blanket up over yourself? I can't think around you. This isn't right...I shouldn't have come...I need to go." Nate moved to stand but Stephanie grabbed his arm.

"Do you have to?"

"My heart is racing so fast and I am really bad at filtering what I say, Stephanie. I don't want to scare you."

"You don't scare me," Stephanie a.s.sured him.

"Good." Nate nodded and took a deep breath. "Next time I promise to wait until you're dressed before I drop in on you, and I do admit, I should have used the door."

Stephanie could feel a strange feeling bubble up in her chest. She didn't recognize it first.

"What?" Nate asked nervously, noticing her expression.

A small laugh escaped her and she placed her hand against her chest, savoring the feeling that came over her. The feeling of warmth penetrated the fog inside enough to warm her slightly. "I'm actually thinking I should thank you for breaking in."

"Yeah?" Nate looked over at her, his shoulders visibly relaxing.

"Yeah."

Nate leaned back against her headboard and looked up at the ceiling. He grew quiet for a moment, and Stephanie could tell he was thinking about his mother. "I keep listening to the news, wondering if they found her with all the other women he buried in his backyard." Nate wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Being here with you, knowing you survived him, makes me feel better."

Stephanie took a deep breath before she spoke. "I heard the news too. My parents listen to it when they think I'm asleep. I heard they found the remains of fifteen women, and it makes me think about how close I became to being the sixteenth." Stephanie leaned against Nate's shoulder tentatively, unsure of what was acceptable between them. At first he tensed, but when she felt him begin to relax, she did as well. "Even though he's behind bars, I'm still terrified he's gonna come after me. Sometimes when I wake up, for the first few seconds it feels like I'm still there...inside those bars," Stephanie whispered.

"You're never going back there," Nate a.s.sured her as placed his hand cautiously on top of hers. They both grew quiet, each lost in their own turmoil of thoughts and taking comfort in each other's presence until Nate finally broke the silence.

"I still remember the day she disappeared. I don't remember much else back then, but that day is so clear. I can remember her waking me up with a big smile on her face and she told me she had a secret that she wanted to tell me before anyone else found out.

"I remember feeling so special and excited as she brought me out to the kitchen to a big plate of chocolate chip pancakes. They were my favorite. That's when she told me I was going to be a big brother." Nate stopped talking and closed his eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

"I have never had chocolate chip pancakes since that day," he confessed sadly. "But I can still remember how good they tasted."

Stephanie wanted to tell him that Masten had made reference to the fact that Rose had been pregnant, but she thought it would only make his pain worse. She didn't want to think about what that monster would have done with a defenseless baby. She prayed it was not subjected to his cruelty.

CHAPTER SEVEN.

Lexie Lexie pressed her ear to Stephanie's door. She could hear Stephanie and Nate's m.u.f.fled voices and it gave her relief knowing that Stephanie was talking. Lexie knew that every word she spoke would alleviate some of the built-up emotions she was struggling with. Stephanie had barely spoken since she returned. Knowing that she felt comfortable with Nate brought Lexie peace of mind. Lexie placed her hand gently on the door and smiled softly before quietly stepping away. She didn't want to disturb them.

She ran her fingers through her hair and then down the front of the oversized shirt she had found in Stephanie's drawer that morning. She recognized it immediately as one of the tie-dyed shirts Stephanie and she had made when they were younger.

They had made a huge mess with the dyes. The cabinets by the sink had a blue tint for years until it eventually faded to a dull cast that could be played off as a trick of the light from the window. The thought of her mother's face when she walked in on them made her eyes well with tears. They hadn't exactly asked permission before beginning the process, but her mother was never a stickler for rules. Lexie remembered how the look of shock on her mother's face faded to a big grin before she kicked off her muddy boots from the garden, turned up the music, and helped them finish the shirts. Their fingernails were blue for weeks afterward, but Lexie loved her shirt until it had worn so thin it wasn't wearable anymore. Luckily, Stephanie preserved hers, because wearing it was exactly what she needed right now.

As soon as Lexie started down the steps, she could see Mike standing at the bottom with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. Lexie inwardly cringed as she approached him.

"If you honestly think something inappropriate is happening in her room, you need to have your head examined," Lexie said with a shake of her head.

"What the f.u.c.k am I supposed to believe when a guy crawls in her window?" Mike seethed. "I'm the one that's supposed to be with her."

Lexie rubbed her forehead and sighed. "Listen, Mike, Stephanie has barely eaten. She barely sleeps with all the nightmares. Just relax; nothing is going to happen that should cause you any worry. She has been through h.e.l.l and back. The last thing she needs right now is a jealous boyfriend."

"What exactly happened to her?"

Lexie looked at his rounded shoulders and his scruffy hair and her anger dissipated. She had no right to be judgemental. Mike had been here since Stephanie had returned, trying to be supportive, even though he was focusing on all the wrong things. She had voiced her concerns long ago, but she had to respect Stephanie's decision to have Mike in her life.

"I don't know," Lexie said honestly. "I can only a.s.sume at this point."

"What do you mean, you don't know? She tells you everything." Mike narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"She's not ready to tell me. Maybe she won't ever be. I'm just making sure that I'm here for her. That's all I can do and so can you," Lexie said.

"I didn't sleep with anyone else," Mike admitted as he ran his hand through his hair.

"It's not me you have to convince, Mike. When Stephanie's ready to face the issues between the two of you, it will be her decision."

"Does she think I slept with someone else? Is that why she's pushing me away?" Mike asked as he scratched the back of his neck.

"I didn't tell her what I heard. That's one of the things you can bring up when it's time to face it. Until then, you just have to be patient and wait for her to let you know when she's ready."

"When will that be?" Mike asked impatiently.

Lexie squeezed her eyes shut. "It's a miracle that she's home with us. Can you please just get over yourself?" Lexie bit off. She couldn't hold her tongue anymore. She and Mike had always b.u.mped heads, but Evan and Stephanie had always been there to buffer the situation. Lexie was worn too thin to deal with Mike. She didn't wear the same rose-colored gla.s.ses as her friends did when they looked at him.

"f.u.c.k you, Lexie." Mike stepped closer and pushed his face closer to hers. "I'm not just gonna sit here while some idiot is in my f.u.c.king bedroom with my f.u.c.king girlfriend."

"It's not your bedroom. She kicked you out long ago, remember?" Lexie leaned in to show that he couldn't intimidate her. "Maybe it's best if you left."

"You probably have been talking s.h.i.t about me." Mike narrowed his eyes in contempt.

"Believe me, you didn't need any help creating a case against yourself," Lexie seethed. "How much have you drank? I can smell it on your breath."

"I don't know why Evan and Alex ever saw more than just a good f.u.c.k when they looked at you. Maybe Evan would still be alive*" Mike's words dropped off when Lexie slapped him across the face. Even he was smart enough to know that he had gone too far.

Lexie wasn't surprised by what he had said. Mike was always one to take low blows and she couldn't deny this one carved deep into her fragile remains.

"What the h.e.l.l is wrong with you?" Lexie shoved him. "You need to leave now." Lexie was surprised she could keep her voice contained*she was ready to explode. "Leave," she repeated as she pointed toward the door.

"Lex...I..." Mike started.

"Please don't." Lexie held up her hand. She couldn't listen to one more word from his lips.

For a few intolerable moments he continued to stare at her like he was contemplating what to say, but thankfully, he spun around and headed toward the door.

After Mike slipped out, she felt the relief as it melted her tense shoulders. She couldn't believe she just had that conversation with Mike. Until now, she didn't think she could like him any less than she already had, but he had proven her wrong. She could only hope that Stephanie would eventually see his true colors.

Lexie walked into the kitchen, thankful for the opportunity to make herself a cup of tea without Ruth or Tom looking at her like she was about to fall apart. She had heard them leave for church earlier while she was still curled up in bed with Stephanie.

Lexie wanted to be close to Stephanie when she woke up through the night, terrified that she was still trapped inside those dark cell walls. Lexie wanted to be the one to soothe her back to sleep and remind her that she was safe. It didn't matter how many times Stephanie woke, sleep seldom found Lexie, and she was grateful to have the distraction from her own haunting thoughts. The only thing she wasn't sure of was how safe they actually were with John Stodden still out there. Lexie didn't know if he would still come after her now that her mother was gone. She wrapped her hands around her stomach and tried to ease the ache that pulled at her insides.

Lexie picked up the kettle off the stove. The sun was shining in the window and it felt warm upon her skin as she turned on the water. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wished she could turn her mind off and enjoy the moment, but it was no use. All the little things she used to take pleasure in seemed to be lacking and dull.

Lexie looked down at her hands that shook with all the emotion that fueled her blood. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked down at the screen. She fought against the urge to call Jackson. She wanted to hear his voice. She wanted him to tell her that he was coming back to her and he was bringing Evan home, but she couldn't bring herself to dial his number. The worst case scenarios kept circling through her mind. She hadn't heard from Jackson since he had left. He had promised he would come back with Evan and she needed to hold onto that.

She tucked her phone away and turned off the water. She picked up the kettle and it slipped from her hand, splashing water over the side of the sink. She leaned against the counter, grabbing the edge until her fingers turned white. She watched the water spread out over the counter.

She should have stayed with her mother at the hospital. She knew if she had, that man would not have been able to slip into her room unnoticed. She needed to accept the truth that sat heavy in her stomach. She was tired of making mistakes that hurt the ones she loved. She wondered if she had been awake when it happened, and if she had called out to Lexie to help her. She prayed her mother's last moments hadn't been full of fear.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there, Mom," Lexie cried as she wiped her face with her hands. She couldn't fall apart now. She needed to be strong as she took deep, soothing breaths.

Lexie noticed an envelope sitting on the kitchen counter and it immediately sobered her from her emotions. It was the envelope John had given her with her name written on the front. Her stomach sank to the floor. She walked over to the table where her purse still hung on the back of the chair where she had left it. She unzipped it and frantically searched inside, where she had tucked it. Any hope that her mind was playing tricks on her vanished.

She spun around in confusion before she walked back to the envelope and picked it up. She wasn't sure who would have gone through her purse and taken it out. It didn't look like it was tampered with as she flipped it over in her hands.

Lexie ran her finger over the seal. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life staring at it and wondering what it would tell her. Lexie walked toward the table and dropped herself down in a chair.

Lexie took a deep breath before she tore open the envelope and pulled out the paper inside. She looked at the words typed on the page, trying to force her brain to register the information. The words seemed to blur in front of her eyes.

Lexie heard the front door open and Tom and Ruth's voices floated down the hallway toward her. She couldn't bring herself to face them right now. Holding the paper tightly in her hand, she grabbed her purse and walked toward the back door. She slipped out just as she heard footsteps approach the kitchen.

She couldn't force herself to stay in those walls anymore or she would be physically sick. She needed to talk to the one person she knew would listen. She was confident she was leaving Stephanie in good hands. If she was honest with herself, she knew Stephanie was safer without her anyway. She had found herself in a temporary lull, but she knew that it was bound to change. She had made too big of a splash lately not to have a ripple effect.