Disastrous: Cautious Part 12

Lovely? I'd never heard him use that term before.

"Well thank you, dear. I've lived here for over sixty years." She smiled and then turned her gaze to me. "So, Mia, tell me, how've you been? What have you done the past few years?" She asked as I sipped on my drink. I quickly glanced at her and then looked around the room. Everyone was quiet, waiting for me to reply. Setting the cup on the antique claw-leg coffee table, I leaned into Marcus as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder securely.

"Well, I have a bachelor's degree in business, and I'm currently in law school-my second year actually."

"Oh, that's amazing news!" She clapped her hands with excitement. It made me smile. I wasn't used to having someone overly excited about my achievements. It was nice for a change.

She continued to ask me questions about my life, school, where I'd worked, Michael-which was a short conversation because it created a sad vibe-and my relationship with Marcus. She also asked Jeremy a few questions, and his responses helped to lighten any negative energy in the room. We laughed as Megan mentioned past family memories, and I felt a little bit jealous because I had not been there to experience them.

We had been seated for a little over forty minutes when William, my grandfather, barged in with some two-foot-long cheesesteaks and curly fries. I was in awe of his six-foot-tall military frame, perfectly round bald shiny head, grey goatee, and sharp blue eyes. He was intimating, yet his eyes were soft and gentle. When I stood up to greet him, he continued to stare at me as tears formed in his eyes. It was as if no one else were in the room as he continued to ogle me. "Mia." He forced through the lump in his throat.

I simply nodded. In three strides, he reached me, pulled me into a tight bear hug, and lifted me off the ground. With the tight embrace and the whiff of the musky scent of his cologne, there was a warm feeling about him that gave me a sense of comfort. I relaxed in his arms and hugged him back.

He held my chin with his large manly hand. "You look just like your mother." He continued to study my features, amazed at the resemblance. "Are you hungry? Did you eat? Do you want something special? I don't mind going back out and grabbing anything you'd like."

I laughed and then sniffed back my tears. "I'm fine. Thank you."

"Are you sure? I don't mind. I just want you to have anything you like." He paused as if a thought rushed through him, and then remorse filled his eyes. He then he pulled me into another tight hold. As much as I thought I would be angry with these two individuals who forced my mother to choose between her family and them, I wasn't because they showered me with so much love. I could say that I needed it when I was younger, but I didn't. My father and brother gave me all the love I could ever need. So it was the right moment. I needed them more now than I did years ago, and I could no longer be angry.

"Okay, darling, let the poor girl breathe. You don't want her to run off, do you?" Kathy, my grandmother, blurted as she approached us. "Let's all go in to the kitchen to eat."

"Thank G.o.d." I heard Jeremy mutter beneath his breath. I laughed after William looked up at him with an arched brow and asked who he was.

Within the next couple of hours, we stayed in the kitchen, which was also the dining room area, and we surrounded an oval-shaped wooden table. We all sat in mix-matched chairs. It wasn't the most elaborate home, but there was a warmth and homey presence to it. Even Marcus laughed and joined in on jokes that William made about Jeremy. The cheesesteaks were beyond amazing and mouthwatering. Jeremy had his fill.

After things died down, Megan sat on William's lap and hugged him tightly as she hummed to a song that he sang to her as a child. Sara and Kathy stood by the sink and washed dishes. Marcus and Jeremy discussed Marcus's recent victorious trial, and I sat back and reflected on how grateful I was. There was nothing that I had ever wanted more than to have a family. When I met the DeLucas, I instantly fell in love with them and the love they had for each other. Now I had my own family. Although it was not as large as Marcus's family, I felt at peace, knowing that I had one.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket, and I excused myself to go outside. As I shut the door behind me, I made my way to a chair swing by the corner of the porch.

"h.e.l.lo." I answered.

"Hi, Mia, I'm sorry for being a pain, but I just need to know he's okay. I'm going crazy over here. I haven't slept or eaten for the past few days."

With my head leaning back on the chair, I looked out into the evening sky. "He's doing okay. He hasn't mentioned anything about you, but he seems a little better today than he did yesterday."

Theresa let out a slight sigh of relief. "Well that's somewhat good news. I need to talk to him. He hasn't let me explain. He just barged out of here."

A creaking sound along the porch made me jump. As I glanced over, I was relieved to see it was William. I ended my call with Theresa, promising I would call back tomorrow.

I looked up at his gentle smile. He stood a few feet away from me with his hands dug in his front jean pockets. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, just a friend checking in with me." I started to stand, but he raised his hand to stop me.

"No, if you don't mind, I would like to talk with you, privately." He looked down and lightly shrugged. "If that's okay with you?"

"Sure." I scooted over so he could join me. He made his way over and sank down beside me.

The swing lightly swayed in place as we sat there in an awkward silence. After a few minutes, he finally cleared his throat. "It's a nice night."

A tiny smile touched the corner of my lips at his attempt to make small talk. It wasn't easy for me either, so I just leaned back and admired the breeze. "Yes, it is."

There were a few additional minutes of silence before he blurted, "I'm proud of you."

Puzzled by the random statement, I tilted my chin and stared at his profile. He bowed his head and took a deep breath. "You grew up to be a very intelligent, independent, beautiful, and strong woman. I couldn't be happier." He looked up at me then. "I know I can't make up for the last twenty-four years of your life, and it's probably too late to build a relationship, but I can at least try. I want to be a part of your life. The last twenty-four years I've missed, but I don't want to miss any more minutes from here on out."

My heart swelled at his testament. I wiped away the tears that fell, and sniffing, I nodded slightly. "Okay" was all I could say; there was nothing more than that. How could I not give him another chance? Everyone deserved one, and maybe I was optimistic, but for so long I suffered being alone, trying to be strong for myself. There was so much I had faced on my own at such a young age. I didn't want to push anyone away anymore. I had built a high barrier and not allowed anyone in but a simple few. I took a chance with Marcus, and I believed it was the best choice I'd ever made. I wanted to take more risks, to find more chances for happiness, and most of all, to build a family.

The man before me locked his tear-filled eyes with mine as his lip quivered. His body slightly shook as if he was trying to hold it all in, and then he pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you." His voice cracked. "I promise I won't let you down." He broke into soft sobs. My chest tightened at his promise. I tried to hold back tears and dug my head into his neck. "I know it was stupid, but your mother was so young . . ."

"No." I mumbled into his chest. "Let's leave it in the past." There was no reason to go back to it. I didn't want an explanation, and I didn't care for one. All that mattered was that he was going to make up for it.

After our cries subsided, we pulled away from each other and sat out on the porch for a very long time, talking and laughing about our likes and dislikes-sports, school, and so much more. He was a man who was so comfortable to talk to and so easy to love. He reminded me a bit of my father. It begged the question as to why they didn't get along, but I kept it to myself. All that mattered was at that very moment we created a memory I was able to store away as a keepsake of the time my grandfather and I swayed on a porch swing, laughing and admiring the October late night stars. That was a beautiful night.

"Mia, are you ready to call it a night, sweetie?" Sara popped her head out the door. "It's late, and we have to head back to the hotel." I looked over at my grandfather. I was having such a good time with him, and I didn't want to leave so soon. He gave me a warm smile. "Go ahead, Mia. It's past my bedtime, anyway. I never survive past eight." He let out a raspy laugh. "We're all having dinner tomorrow at a restaurant, so we'll see each other then. Get some rest."

Smiling along with him, I pulled him into a hug, and then we walked into the house so that I could give Kathy a tight hug as well and wish her a good night.

We all drove back to the hotel in silence as I counted the minutes before I could rejoin my grandparents and get to know them even better.

Marcus sensed my brighter mood as we entered the hotel room. He slightly shook his head and smiled as he removed his clothing. "Your grandparents were nice." He flung his boots off.

"They were so cool, especially William." We both stripped down to our undies and climbed into bed. I snuggled into his arms. "I can't believe I actually have a family, Marcus. Is it wrong or cliche to actually have such strong feelings for them, despite everything that's happened?"

He ran his fingers up and down the side of my arm as he pressed his lips on top of my head. "No, baby, it's not. They're your family no matter what. That's what's most important. Even if you feel betrayed for what they'd done in the past, you can only hope for the best in the future."

I squeezed my eyes shut and tightened my arms around him. I knew deep down that what Marcus had just said was more of a realization for him than a speech for me. We lay in bed the rest of the night that way, until we both drifted into a deep sleep.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

MARCUS.

At noon that Sat.u.r.day, Mia and I had a quiet breakfast at one of the hotel restaurants. Afterwards, we walked around the city before heading back to the hotel. As I waited for her to finish with her shower, I sat on a chair in the living area of our suite. When we first arrived three days ago, I was distraught, and although I felt more at ease by now, I'd almost forgotten that it was the day that marked fifteen years since my father pa.s.sed.

Fifteen long f.u.c.king years.

All the memories I'd had of him were good, not one bad memory. And even though each day since his death I had grown st.u.r.dier, I asked myself, "How different would my life have been if he was still alive?" I didn't blame him for how my life had turned out. As he told me once, if I wasn't happy with my life, I alone had to do something to change it. I couldn't wait around and expect it all to work out. But that was a difficult saying for me to put into practice, when I had no f.u.c.king clue how to change it.

The person that I wanted my life to be better for had just padded her way out of the bathroom. Just out of the shower, she dropped her towel, revealing the soft skin of her naked body. Bending over to grab a bra from on top of the bed, she slowly tilted her head and looked over at me. A smile formed along her lips as she caught me watching her. She straightened her posture and, with confidence, walked in my direction.

My earlier thoughts vanished as pleasure rushed through me with each stride she took. When Mia reached me, she leaned down and pressed her hands along the armrest of the chair. Mia gently stretched her neck, and with her lips, she grazed my jawline. "You like what you see?" she whispered. The warmth of her breath along my skin aroused me.

"I do." I drew my fingers along the soft skin of her torso.

She brought her head around, and her eyes filled with desire and burned into mine. "Well, what are you going to do about it?" She then grabbed the hem of my t-shirt, pulled it over my head, and tossed it to the ground. "Better yet, the question should be, 'What am I going to do about it?'"

I c.o.c.ked my head aside and flashed a grin. "Tell me. What are you going to do?"

A playful smile formed along her lips, "Well, for starters, you're too covered up. I need to get these jeans off of you." Her fingers danced along my belt buckle. Unhooking it, she pulled it from the hoops of the jeans, and threw it along the floor beside my shirt.

Mia stood up and crossed her arms under her rounded b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I sucked in air, pleased and completely turned on with her playfulness. Her eyes traced down to my jeans. She then raised a hand toward her face and tapped a finger along her chin as if she were thinking. She gently shook her head. "See, that's a problem. What I need is hidden under those jeans." Her eyes flashed back to mine. "They're getting in the way of what I want." I leaned back in the chair as I felt myself grow underneath the denim fabric. f.u.c.k. She managed to do that every time: even a simple word spoken by her gave me a f.u.c.king hard on.

Mia reached over and began to remove my jeans and briefs. She tossed my shoes off along the way. Excitement and craving washed through her eyes as she caught sight of my full-blown erection. Without hesitation, she straddled me, both of her legs on the outside of mine, not yet allowing me to fill her. She rested her forearms along my chest as her fingers dug in the back of my hair. "Have you decided what you're going to do?" I asked my voice hoa.r.s.e.

With a sparkle in her green eyes, her lips curled into a devilish grin. "Oh, I have a few things in mind." She raised her hips and slowly sank down on me. My head settled back into the wingback chair at our joining. There was no greater feeling than when I was with her. She was always ready for me-wet and sleek as she glided up and down my c.o.c.k. Her lips parted with a gasp, her body trembled, and her nipples hardened as she continued to ride me. She was a beautiful sight.

I gripped her hips and thrust her up and down in a faster motion. Mia's breathing became unsteady. She tightened her walls around my c.o.c.k, and I groaned at how f.u.c.king good it felt. Her nipples peaked in yearning, and I leaned in, sucking on her breast. A moan escaped her, inciting her to move faster. My tongue twirled around, and I tugged on her nipple. Mia began to pant; she gripped my jaw, shoved my head back, and crushed her lips against mine.

Ferociously, she sucked and tangled her tongue with mine. The minty taste of the toothpaste, the scent of her body soap, and the way my c.o.c.k felt inside of her as she slammed her hips down into mine drove me in-f.u.c.king-sane. I gripped the back of her hair and pulled her in, needing and wanting her closer. She moaned as our tongues crushed against one another. My other hand continued to grip her hip, forcing her deeper as she slammed down with each descent. She cried out, and I groaned as she tugged at my hair.

A deeper craving coursed through me: I lifted her from the chair and slammed her back against the carpet floor. Kneeling between her legs, I lifted her hips from the ground and pounded inside of her. She whimpered, as she arched her back, tightened her eyes shut, and gripped my wrists. Digging her nails into my flesh, she cried out my name. Her body jerked beneath me as she released the building pressure. The pleasure in her expression as she came ignited me, causing me to pound into her harder over and over again. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s bounced as I continued to nail her. The sound of our hips slamming against each other, her continued cry of my name, all of it took me over the edge, and I couldn't take it anymore. I f.u.c.king exploded deep and hard within her. "f.u.c.k." I groaned beneath my breath.

I collapsed beside her. Both of us tried to catch our breath as we stared at the ceiling. Mia let out an exhausted and pleasurable laugh, causing me to do so as well. After we calmed and our heartbeats settled, she laid her head on top of my chest. I traced my fingers up and down her spine as she sighed in contentment.

With all that had been going on, I knew I had to tell her what happened and the reason I'd been acting the way I was. It wasn't fair to keep her in the dark. Mia didn't push the issue, allowing me to deal with the problem on my own, but I knew she wanted in, to know more. I loved that about her-how she was so pa.s.sionate about me that she wanted to be a part of my struggles, stress, and pain.

As a guy, it was hard to express my feelings, not because I couldn't, but because it was more of a way to show strength, to show that I could handle it on my own. Sometimes it was difficult to deal with all the bulls.h.i.t. I would use liquor as a way to escape or cope. I was trying to fight against it, to control it in another way.

Mia was my other way. When she was around, there was nothing else. There was no bulls.h.i.t, no issues, no lies, nothing. In an awkward way, it was as if we were similar; we both needed each other to fill the emptiness we both had. I understood it and she did as well. It was why we meshed so well.

Mia lifted her head to look at me. "What are you thinking?" She asked in a low tone. I reached up and cupped my hand under her chin. My stare dropped from her eyes and followed as I began tracing my thumb along her soft plump lips. "I'm sorry if I've been acting awkward or off lately. It's just that I've been going through some things, and I'm not sure how to-"

"Marcus, I need to tell you something." Mia cleared her throat.

Puzzled by her instant change in demeanor, I tugged at her chin and brought her eyes back to mine. "What is it?" At that moment I was concerned by the look in her eyes. She seemed to be struggling with whatever she wanted to say. "What is it, Mia?" I asked again, that time my tone a bit stern.

Nodding as if she knew she had to say it, she let out a shaky breath and continued, "I know why you've been distant." She paused and stared as my eyebrows kneaded in confusion. "I know about your mother."

I blinked. "W-what?" I untangled from her and jerked up to sit. What the f.u.c.k did she mean she knew about my mother? Had she known all along?

"Marcus, hear me out, okay?" Mia stood along with me and followed me into the bedroom. Her eyes followed my every move as I pulled on my briefs and then glanced over at her.

"You knew? For how long, Mia?"

She reached for a t-shirt and tossed it on. Then she sat down on the bed, staring at me, her eyes pleading with me to understand. I couldn't understand at that moment because I was upset. p.i.s.sed. f.u.c.king irate. I widened my eyes for her to go on. "A few weeks ago, your mother came to me and confided her secret. She begged me not to say anything." Mia bowed her head and focused on her fidgeting fingers. "I wanted to tell you. Many times I almost did, but it wasn't my secret to tell."

That was un-f.u.c.king-believable. My stare hardened as I waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "So, you're telling me that for the past few days you've known what I've been dealing with?"

"Yes," she said in a whisper. "But, you have to believe me. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't."

I was angry with her, but it wasn't for keeping the secret at the time it was told, it was for something way worse. "You want to know why I'm upset right now, Mia?" I kept my tone low, trying my best not to flip my lid.

She nodded. "Because I didn't tell you."

"No, I can understand why you kept that to yourself. You're right, it's not your secret to tell, but the past f.u.c.kin' three days, you waltzed around here," I swung my arm indicating where we were, "as though none of it had occurred. What happened to being honest with each another, huh?" I shook my head as I threw on my jeans and tossed on a shirt. "You knew that it was out of the bag-that I finally knew about it and that was why I've been upset-yet you pretended as if nothing was wrong. Why? Why now? Why did you choose to tell me this very second?"

"I-I don't know-maybe to finally be honest with you. I also couldn't keep it hidden any longer. I was hoping that you would finally confide in me, tell what was wrong with you, but you wouldn't." She stood from the bed, her voice a bit higher. "You want to throw honesty out there, Marcus? Tell me. Why weren't you honest with me? I thought our relationship was at a point where you would be able to tell me anything that was on your mind. I didn't want to push the issue, force you into it, hoping that just for once, you'd spill your thoughts and feelings to me."

Anger surged through me. I couldn't believe what she'd said. I may not be f.u.c.king perfect and tell her everything, but I was trying. I was f.u.c.king trying. With a raised voice, I blurted, "Is that what it was to you? A f.u.c.kin' test to see if I would spill my feelings? You don't think I spill my feelings to you, Mia? Do you think it was easy for me to talk to you about my dad? Lou? How Jimmie found our father dead? That was me spilling my f.u.c.kin' guts to you." Frustrated, I raised my arms in the air. "It may not be every d.a.m.n day or every time something occurs, but I do. Other than Jimmie, you're the only person that has come close to knowing what goes on in my f.u.c.kin' head." I finished with a hard stare, my breathing heavy as she stared back at me.

Tears filled her eyes, and I couldn't look at her any more. I tore my gaze away and pressed my hands at my hips. With my head bowed, I looked down at the floor, my heart pounding against my chest. "You're right. You did. Sometimes you're so distant when you have a lot on your mind. I know you go through a lot, Marcus. I can't help it that I want to take away all of your stress and worries and make them mine, to somehow ease your burden." She sniffed a few times. At that statement, I shut my eyes and shook my head. I knew that she worried for me, but I didn't realize how many of my burdens had stressed her as well.

"Mia, I'm . . ."

Before I could finish, the sound of my phone ringing had cut in. I looked up at her wet eyes and had an urge to reach out and grab her, to comfort her, but I looked away and headed toward my phone. "h.e.l.lo." I answered on the fourth ring, forgetting to check who it was.

"Uncle Marcus, guess what I did today?" Elle's enthusiastic tone chirped through the phone. Even after the entire mess Mia and I had just gone through, I was able to smile at the sound of my niece's voice.

"You got me. What did you do?" I asked as I walked pa.s.sed Mia. I stopped in front of her and covered the speaker of my cell with my hand. "I'm going in the hallway to talk with Elle. I'll be back soon." I tilted my head, hoping that she would make eye contact with me, but she didn't. Instead she gave me a curt nod, turned on her heels, and entered the bathroom. With a heavy sigh, I closed the door to our hotel room behind me as I walked down the hall and turned my attention back to my niece.

"Daddy took me to my first dance cla.s.s!"

"That's awesome, Elle. Did you learn anything in your first cla.s.s?"

"Lots of stretching, but today was ballet, which was okay. Next week is jazz! I'm totally looking forward to it." I chuckled at how d.a.m.n cute she was. "So when are you coming back home? I want to show you and Mia some moves I learned."

"Soon, sweetheart."

"Oh . . . Okay. Daddy wants to talk to you, Uncle Marc. I love you."

"Love you too, Elle "Elle go play in the yard. I'll be there in a little while." Jimmie's voice came through the phone. "Hey, little bro," he said after a few seconds in a low tone. I guessed that he wanted to make sure Elle was no longer around.

"What's up, Jimmie." I leaned against the hallway wall and looked down toward our room, hoping I didn't find Mia running off.

"So, Mom stopped by last night . . ." He paused, and with a heavy sigh, he continued, "She told me what was going on."

"She saved me the trouble, huh?"

"Bro, trust me when I say she was not happy with my thoughts when she left, but she's still our mother and a d.a.m.n good one at that. Her issues with Dad were buried right along with him fifteen years ago."

"You don't think I know that? But she had an affair with that f.u.c.kin' b.a.s.t.a.r.d, Jimmie. Out of all the men she could have had an affair with, she had it with Lou! It f.u.c.kin' disgusts me in more ways than one. You know the f.u.c.kin' excuse she had?"

"No, what was it?"

"That Dad was never around. She never felt lonelier in her life. That he was always out on jobs-"

Jimmie blew out a low whistle. "I know, man. I know. I can't imagine what she was thinking when she messed around on Dad." He paused for a second. "Are you afraid that Mia will run off and do the same?"

"What? No." I was shocked by that random question. I hadn't thought of it that way. Well, maybe deep down, there was some part of me that was concerned. My mother had always seemed to be perfect in every way; she always took care of her husband and her children. Then, suddenly, after all these years, I found out that she had been unfaithful to my father. What made me think Mia wouldn't run off and do the same as well? My life now wasn't much different than my father's was back then.

"Look. Trust me when I say that having complete trust in someone is not the easiest part of a relationship. The five years I was married to Cynthia, it wasn't easy. f.u.c.k, we argued all the time, but I loved her, and we made it work. Building a relationship is never easy, Bro. You have to accept and trust Mia and live happily or don't and let her go." He paused, and when he noticed that I wasn't responding, he proceeded. "I know you're upset with Mom because I am too, but your anger is not just directed at her, dude. Your anger is based on your insecurities. You lost Mia once. You're afraid of losing her again. I lost my wife without the chance of ever getting her back. Don't f.u.c.k it up."

f.u.c.king a.s.shole. I was p.i.s.sed that he was f.u.c.king right in many ways, and I'd never heard him talk about Cynthia since her pa.s.sing. "You're right."