Devil's Despair: Travis's Stand Part 24

"Don't get used to it. Sarah or not, I still make the decisions."

Rolling his eyes, he stands. He pushes in the chair and heads for the door. "Think about it. You don't have to tell anyone else you're leaving. Just go and talk to her. Tell her what goes on in that thick head of yours. Who knows, maybe she'll run like h.e.l.l and Ace won't matter."

I stand as well, but have a question I want to ask. I've never discussed the relationships in my life, simply because I've had very few. The others are older than I am and I watched them break hearts and leave a trail of tears as they did. I wanted no part of that.

And I'd never want to hurt Sarah.

"Hayden," I call. He turns around.

"Something's on your mind. What is it?"

Hesitating, I put it aside. "Never mind." Hayden's right. He's known me for a long f.u.c.king time. Without me having to ask, he offers further advice.

"Do what I did," he says.

"What's that?"

Clearing his throat, Hayden ensures I'm listening. "Close your eyes, Trav. Imagine a life without Sarah in it. Imagine walking away from her and knowing you'd never see her again. Once you do that, and I mean really do that, your answer will come. If you only see her as a pa.s.sing chapter in your life, let her go. If a life without her in it terrifies you, make her yours."

Looking down, I contemplate his words.

"But do it right. I mean it. Close your eyes and really try to imagine being without her. I did. To this day, I regret how I treated Lacey. I loved her, Travis, and I hurt her. She's the best person in my life, she's my best friend."

"I know," I confirm.

"And Sarah's yours."

Trying to lighten the mood, I shift in my seat to get comfortable. "I still want to wring her neck. Is that wrong?"

Hayden laughs out loud, holding his stomach and smiling wide. "f.u.c.k no, it's not wrong. Just because you love Sarah doesn't mean you'll change her. She's a pain in the a.s.s on a good day."

"f.u.c.k, she is isn't she?"

"You two still fight all the time?"

"Yes," I confirm. "But making up is a lot more fun than it used to be."

"I f.u.c.king bet." His eyes shine. He's waiting for me to say more. When I don't he prods, "And?"

"I'm not discussing it."

"What? That's s.h.i.t. Just because it's Sarah-"

I cut him off. "No, not because it's Sarah. I don't talk about that s.h.i.t like you and Ace."

"G.o.d d.a.m.n you're no fun."

Wanting to get this discussion over and done with, I straighten my posture and ask, "How's your dad?"

"In love," he answers quickly and with a proud smile. He's letting me off the baited hook. "He and Cathy are moving up the wedding. So much for September; they're pushing this s.h.i.t for July."

"Love does that to people, I guess."

"It does." Opening the door to the apartment, he stops before heading out. "I'm really happy for you two, if this is what you both want. Don't let anyone else, Ace included, try to change what you're feeling."

CHAPTER SIXTEEN.

Sarah "PACK A BAG," I hear Travis say as soon as I walk into the apartment from work. I haven't had even a moment to take off my shoes, much less put my purse down.

My clothes are soiled with cold coffee, which I spilled on myself to avoid soaking a four-year-old racing through the diner. My hair has flour in it because I spilled it on myself trying to reach for the syrup stacked on the top shelf of the pantry, and my shoes are caked with dirt from being wet while sweeping before finishing my shift.

Pack a bag wasn't the first thought I had when I came home.

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about? Are you kicking me out?"

Travis walks to me. The small smile on his face is contagious and I forget my s.h.i.tty day and listen as he suggests, "Let's get out of here."

"Uhh, and go where?"

"The beach house."

Oh, my G.o.d. That sounds so nice.

"I work tomorrow."

"Call in."

"I like my job and they'll fire me. We can leave Sunday."

"We're leavin' in twenty minutes. Pack a bag," he repeats his demand as he heads to his room.

I follow him, but only to the hall. I turn right and head into my room. Grabbing some clothes, I make my way into the bathroom for a desperately needed shower and an even more desperate minute to think.

After undressing, I turn the water on. Trav hits the door with his fist and I jump. "Ten minutes."

Impatient a.s.s.

"I still need to call Lettie and see if she'll cover for me tomorrow." He doesn't answer as I plead my case through the closed door, so it's safe to a.s.sume he's blowing me off.

After my shower, I put on a small summer dress I picked up a couple of years ago when Raegan took me shopping. I don't care it's not summer; I like the dress. It fits smaller than it did when I bought it and I fill it out more than I ever thought I would.

As I step out of the bathroom, I'm met with Trav's scowl. At first glance it appears he hates it and I wait for his instructions to change, which I'll refuse to do, but although his body tenses, his eyes are soft.

"I used your phone while you were showering to call Lettie. She's takin' your shift for you tomorrow."

"You did what?"

"Four minutes," he informs me then turns to gather some things off the table.

"Stop timing me, d.a.m.n it! I haven't packed."

"Did that for you, too."

"What?"

Turning around with a look of exhaustion, he explains, "You spend more time in the bathroom than Lacey ever did. I didn't think that was possible, but I do know we don't have time for you to do whatever it is your people do in there."

"My people?"

"No time to debate, Sarah. Let's get goin.'"

"Does anyone know we're leaving?"

"You gonna miss them?"

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter if they know or not."

"Did you grab my iPod?"

"Yes."

"My razor?"

"Yes."

"My-"

"Sarah, I got it all."

"Well, okay."

"Okay."

Travis holds his hand out for me to take, so I walk to him. He grabs my hand and squeezes gently. Then he grabs my bag and his that are sitting by the door. We walk to his Jeep without another word said.

After stopping at the store on the way out, where I learned Travis has as little patience as I do for those in less of a hurry than we are, we made our way to the main highway leading out of town. On the drive there he doesn't say much. He's as lost in his own thoughts as I am mine. This trip, although a great idea, is surprising and I'm unsure what the expectations are.

"I've only been out here a couple of times," I say to break the silence.

"Hayden's wedding," he returns.

"That night was interesting," I murmur to myself.

"What?" he asks, smirking at the road ahead. The sun is still high and he's squinting to see.

"That night was the second time you kissed me."

"First time," he corrects. "The second time we kissed was on me. First was all you."

"If that's how you remember it, okay." I shrug.

"Do you still keep count?"

"No."

"Thank f.u.c.k."

"I just take mental notes of each one so I don't forget."

"Why do you think you'll forget?"

"Doesn't matter," I tell the houses we pa.s.s as we pull onto the street of Hayden's father's beach house.

"It does."

Turning to him, I give him the honest answer. He'll understand my madness. "I don't want to forget any of the times you've kissed me because if you ever stop I'll want to have something to remember."

He reaches across the console, and I realize since we've been together like we are, this is the first time he's ever done that while driving. I stare down at our fingers laced together and appreciate it for what it is.

Travis and I are together.

"Are you going to cook for me this weekend?" I ask.

He turns his face to mine and gives me his standard "you're being ridiculous" look as an answer.

"My feet, though. You'll rub those, right?"

I kick my flip-flops off and put my bare feet on his dash. My dress slides up my thighs, toward my waist, and his hand lets go of mine. He runs his finger along my bare skin and I close my eyes and concentrate on the feel of his touch.

"No," he replies, taking his hand away.

"Fine, whatever."

As we start to get settled in the house, Travis unpacks our bags in the guest room. It smells stale from not being used. Now that Cathy is no longer Brian's maid, but his fiancee, no one has seen fit to clean the place.

"Can't we stay in the big room?" I ask, watching him methodically finish emptying his bag and then go for mine.

He doesn't look at me with his response. "Where Lacey and Hayden stayed on their honeymoon?"

"I guess." That doesn't bother me, but it seems to creep Trav out.