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"Jared," she whispered.
Few women had ever dared to use his given name in such intimate circ.u.mstances, and he was astounded by his response to it. It made it all seem real-it was real-and the dam burst, flooding every part of him, hardening his c.o.c.k to the point of aching.
Ava dropped her head back, exposing the creamy white skin of her neck to him. He put his mouth to her neck at the same moment he slipped his arms behind her back and crushed her to him. "I want you," he said against her skin. "I want to make you my wife." And with that, he twisted around, falling onto the bed with her, instantly moving down her body. He could feel her body pulse with his touch. His mind, his eyes, every fiber of him was filled with the scent and the feel of her. He was dangerously aroused and piteously desperate for her body, ravenous for a taste of her.
When he took her nipple into his mouth, Ava made a guttural sound, dragged her fingers through his hair, and pushed her body up to meet him.
Something primal and deep kicked Jared hard; blood was raging through him like a river, ripping through his veins. He had never desired anyone or anything so badly in his life. The need to fill her was so overpowering that he couldn't stop.
Ava was panting, her hands roaming his body. When her fingers flitted across the fabric that covered his nipple, he suddenly rose above her, ripped the shirt from his body, and pushed the boots from his feet.
Lying beneath him, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s rising with each furious breath, her maiden's innocence apparently gone, Ava gazed at him, brazenly taking in all of his naked chest.
Jared ran his hand down her shoulder, over her collarbone, her breast, down the smooth plane of her belly, and over the fabric of her drawers. He caressed her thigh, and as he looked into her eyes, he slipped a finger into the slit of her drawers, and Ava squirmed.
He slipped his finger between the wet folds of her s.e.x.
"Oh G.o.d," she moaned, tossing her head back, baring her long neck to him. Jared withdrew his hand,took hold of her drawers and pushed them down her body. When he'd discarded them, he kissed herbelly, then moved farther down, his mouth brushing the spring of honey curls, inhaling her feral scent.
Ava was panting harder now, the bedding in her fists. Jared pushed her legs apart and put his hand on her.
Ava came up on her elbows and looked down at him as she drew long breaths into her lungs. "What are you doing?" she asked.
Jared smiled and slipped his tongue inside her. Ava squealed and tried to close her legs, but he pushed them open with his hands. "No," he said. "You will allow me."
He put his tongue against her again, and Ava slid down, her fingers groping for his shoulders. As he began to lick her, she bucked and made sounds of pleasure that sent the blood pounding through Jared, engorging him. But he held on and explored her thoroughly.
Ava's response was explosive; she was moving against him, panting for breath, the little cries of pleasure coming quicker and quicker as she neared her release. He stroked her, sucked her, nibbled as if she were a delicacy until she found it, crying up to the canopy, her hands clasping at his head, her body moving uncontrollably against him and away, then against him again. Her response was so explosive, and her demeanor so unrepentant that he came dangerously close to finding his release with her.
He rose above her, steadying himself with one hand as he unfastened his belt, shoved his trousers down his legs and kicked them off. Ava never opened her eyes. She just lay there, breathing hard, one hand draped over her naked breast, the other tangled in her hair.
"Are you all right?" he asked as he moved between her thighs.
She smiled dreamily without opening her eyes. "Mmm..."
He laughed, pressed the tip of his c.o.c.k against her. Ava's eyes fluttered open as he began to move slowly back and forth. Her body was so warm, so wet-he strained for patience; he wanted to be inside her. He lowered himself to one arm, smoothed her hair back from her damp brow, then kissed her gently.
"Give me your hand," he said softly, and guided her to feel him.
Her fingers closed around him; he covered her hand with his and showed her how to move her hand on him.
"Oh my," she whispered. "It feels a bit like silk on marble."
Jared thought it felt like something else entirely and closed his eyes, clenching his jaw against the pleasures she was giving him.
With her other hand, Ava began to explore the rest of his body. She was conscious of the feel of his spine, the corded muscles in his back, the ripple of flesh in his shoulders. At the same time, he caressed her shoulders, her arms, and the curve of her waist into her hips and lower, slipping between her legs again, touching the very tender core of her. Ava strangled on her breath and pushed deep into the feather mattress, but Jared shamelessly stroked her, urging her thighs open with little effort. He buried his face in her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, suckling them while his shaft brushed her abdomen and thigh, its heat burning her skin.
She flinched when he slowly slipped one finger inside her, then two, and gently forced her body to open. But when he moved over her, pushing her legs apart with his knee and leaning over her until his manhood brushed against the swell of her s.e.x, she flinched again.
"Relax," he muttered, and guided the velvet tip to brush her sheath. She wrenched beneath him, reflexively looking for an escape from the invasion. "Relax," he whispered again, and slowly, gently, he entered her, pushing a little farther, and then a little farther again, before settling down around her to begin a delicate dance inside her.
He kissed her tenderly, catching her bottom lip between his teeth, swirling his tongue inside her mouth as he continued his exquisite a.s.sault. Her body opened to him so naturally, so instinctively, that she was astounded both physically and emotionally by nature's joining of a man and woman. His breathing, she noticed, was hard, as if he struggled to maintain control.
He lowered himself to her completely and carefully slid deeper into her.
And then he paused. His hand stretched out to where hers clutched the bedcovers, and covered it. With a soft groan, he lifted his hips and suddenly thrust forward.
The sharpness of the pain caught her by surprise, and she unconsciously cried out as her whole bodytensed in antic.i.p.ation of more pain. She heard Jared's hiss of breath and felt his grip on her shouldertighten as he stilled inside her. "Dear G.o.d, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he muttered, tenderly stroking hercheek. "G.o.d forgive me, I never meant to hurt you."
Ava barely heard him; she had no idea what to expect now, and was afraid that more pain would come. Even though the initial pain was slowly subsiding, she feared what he might do next.
She shifted uncomfortably beneath him-but his lips brushed across hers, touching her cheek and temple while his hand stroked her hair. He began to move again, easy and slow, sliding into her depths and out again, moving with her until his hand tightened around her wrist. "Easy," he breathed into her neck, and repeated the movement, filling her with pain and pleasure all at once.
It was a magnificent sensation-the pleasure was overtaking the pain as he continued his even course of stroking her with his body, lengthening inside her. When his hand slipped between their joined bodies and began to stroke her, Ava choked on a cry of pleasure. As every muscle strained to surround him, his strokes took on a new urgency, and he gathered her in his arms.
"Hold me," he whispered. Ava put her arms around him and lifted her legs, wrapping them around him, too.
She felt as if she were soaring high above their bodies, the pleasure seeping into the s.p.a.ce around them.
And when she thought she could bear no more, she climaxed again, heard his low groan as he thrust into her one last time and shuddered.
He lay panting for several seconds before he lifted his head and brushed the hair from her eyes. "Are you all right? Are you in pain?"
All right? She was glowing. She had not known that the joining of a man and woman could be so physically liberating. She smiled tenderly and put her hand to his chin. "I am fine."
He looked at her for a long moment, his expression full of desire. He kissed her lightly as he eased out of her body and rolled onto his back, propping one arm behind his head as his breathing returned to normal. One hand tangled with hers, stroking her palm and twining with her fingers. He said nothing, but looked toward the fire. Ava rolled into his side, nuzzling her face in his neck, smiling contentedly when he gripped her hand.
Beside her, Jared was feeling very strange. That had been a truly moving experience-to take a woman's virginity sparked something deep and primal within him. It wasn't just s.e.x, but something much more profound. It had left him feeling oddly possessive of her, and worse, oddly vulnerable, as if he'd opened a door on himself he'd never known existed and didn't know where it led.
He squeezed her hand, thought of the morrow, and the day after that, and the day after that-and slowly began to remember why he was in her bed at all. "When will you next see your courses?" he asked with all the finesse of a goat.
His question obviously startled her; she looked up, wide-eyed, and blushing. "I...I don't know in all certainty. A week. Maybe longer."
He said nothing more, just closed his eyes, holding her hand. Next to him, Ava shivered and pulled the bedcovers around her shoulders, then settled onto his chest, her eyes closed. He listened to the sound of her breathing, listened to it deepen as she fell asleep.
He couldn't sleep-he couldn't allow such tender feelings to stew. His thoughts were warring with his emotions, his common sense trying to convince him it had been an unremarkable coupling while his heart told him something different.
He glanced down, saw that Ava was asleep, and carefully extracted himself from the arm thrown across his middle, the shapely leg on top of his. As he eased out of bed, Ava rolled to the middle; he couldn't help but smile.
He donned a dressing gown, walked to the window, and looked out at the early summer night. Jesus, but he felt at sea. He'd always bedded whom he pleased without feelings of guilt or remorse. But with Ava, he was feeling so many things at once that he found it all rather daunting.
So daunting that he hardly slept that night, and when he rose with the dawn the next morning, clinging to the edge of the bed where Ava had pushed him in her sleep abandon, he was determined that he'd not let another moment of raw sentimentality cloud his thoughts.
He had done what was required of him. Now he need only wait and see if he'd planted the necessary seed. Yet he could not shake the grip of something unnatural budding inside of him.
Before the sun was even in the sky, Jared Broderick had dressed and taken a horse from a sleepy stableboy.
When Ava awoke the next morning, she was alone in the bed. She sat up, using a sheet to cover herself, and blinked the sleep from her eyes as she looked around the room.
"Jared?" she called, but the name sounded foreign on her lips. She cleared her throat. "My lord?" she called out again, and rolled her eyes. That sounded entirely too formal after what had happened between them. Something profound had happened to her-something greater than the loss of her virginity. She felt sticky and sore, but she also felt incredibly...alive. That act, as painful as it had been, was also perhaps the most defining moment in her life. It was as if she had crossed some sort of invisible threshold, and the thought occurred to her that she might actually come to love Middleton.
She got out of the bed, taking the sheet with her and wrapping it around her body.
He was not in the dressing room. Nor was he in his private study. With a sigh, Ava returned to the bedroom and glanced around. She saw a pin box on his dresser and walked over to have a look. The pin lay on the top of the dresser, and in the box, she noticed, was a small, folded piece of vellum.
Ava picked up the vellum and opened it, expecting to see something like the bill of sale. But what she saw was flourished handwriting that made her heart twist in her chest.
My darling, the note started, and Ava's breath caught in her throat. She lifted her hand to her mouth.
Please accept this token of my love. It is a Celtic love knot, one that symbolizes everlasting love between two people. My hope is that you will wear it today and think of our future, and know when you hold it in your hand that my heart shall always be yours to hold.
M.
Ava's mouth suddenly went dry. She dropped the vellum like it was fire, then quickly folded it and put it back in the box where she'd found it and backed away. Yet she could not take her eyes from the pin, the love knot tied so intricately that it could never come undone.
The knowledge that Lady Waterstone had sent it to him to wear on his wedding day, had asked him to wear it and think of her, made her feel quite ill.
She stumbled away from the dresser, to the bed and the bloodstained sheets, and collapsed onto it as she tried to catch her breath.
Eighteen.
J ared was in London by late morning. He bathed, met with Mr. Bean about settling a suitable allowance for Ava on her family, to be given at once, and then repaired to White's by late afternoon.
With the exception of the early morning, when he'd left his bride sleeping peacefully in his bed, her lipscurled into a beguiling little smile in her sleep, Jared hadn't thought of Ava very much. As soon as heknew he had put a child in her belly, he would return to London permanently and that would be the endto these uncharacteristically soft and tender feelings he was having for her.
At White's, he was met by several curious looks, but none more curious than that of Harrison, who stared at Jared as if he'd seen a ghost when he joined him at their usual table. "Has something happened? " Harrison asked anxiously.
"No," Jared said with a laugh. "There were matters here that required my attention."
"Here?" Harrison asked, peering at him skeptically. "None that could wait, or be given your attention at Broderick Abbey? You just married yesterday, after all."
"Are you my b.l.o.o.d.y conscience?" Jared snapped.
Harrison smiled wryly. "No...I'd be a better conscience to you than the one you've apparently got."
He didn't need to be lectured about his duty by his old friend-he'd done his duty. But Jared didn'trespond, just turned and ordered a round of whiskey. And Harrison's initial scorn didn't keep him fromdrinking or indulging in a few high-stakes rounds of cards with him, either.
Jared returned to Broderick Abbey the next afternoon, arriving only an hour or so before the supper hour. "Please tell Lady Middleton I am returned," Jared said as he handed Dawson his hat and coat. He could hardly avoid Ava, and he didn't want to avoid her. Quite the contrary-he actually enjoyed her company. He just didn't want to feel a deep bond to her.
"Her ladyship has asked that, if you arrived, you join her for supper at eight," Dawson replied.
"I shall, but I should like to wash and change my clothing before I meet her. Have a bath prepared, will you?" he said, and strode past his butler, taking the post a footman offered him on his way up to his suite.
In his suite, he went through the various letters. Most were from well-wishers on the occasion of his marriage. There were a few pieces of business correspondence as well, and an invitation to join Harrison 's annual inauguration of the hunting season in two months' time.
Last, there was a letter from Miranda. That one Jared put aside without reading.
He strode to the bellpull and yanked it; a few moments later, a footman appeared. "Bring some clothingfor my supper with the marchioness," he said, and poured himself a whiskey-which he seemed to bedoing quite a lot these last two weeks, he thought numbly-and sat in one of the wingback chairs at thehearth.
As the footman disappeared through an adjoining door, Jared removed his boots and leaned back, propped his feet on the ottoman, his mind wandering to thoughts of how he might rotate the crops to bring a better yield.
But when the door to the dressing room opened, he caught the faint scent of perfume and glanced up; it was Ava standing there, holding his clothing in her arms. "What a pleasant surprise, Lady Middleton," he said, slightly taken aback that she would appear without introduction.
She said nothing, just walked to where he sat and put his clothes on the ottoman next to his foot. Then she folded her arms across her middle in a way Jared recognized as the universal symbol of feminine ire. No matter how sweet the smile, the devilish gleam in the eye and the fold of the arms spoke volumes.
He slowly gained his feet, standing a good six inches taller than his wife. "You are frowning, LadyMiddleton. Is there something not to your liking at Broderick Abbey?" he asked. "Tell me and I shallhave it repaired at once."
She looked quite surprised by that. She leaned toward him, chin up, and said, "You disappeared without a word."
He leaned forward so that they were looking each other in the eye and said softly, "It is not true I left without word, madam. I informed Dawson where I would be." With that he picked up his tot and walked to the sideboard to pour another whiskey.
"But you didn't leave word with me."
"You were sleeping. I did not want to disturb you."
"I can understand if you'd gone to Broderick, but London?"