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"We shall," she said, and put her hand on the arm that he offered.
But as they walked into the church, her nerves began to fray and her thoughts got the best of her. Up until this morning, she'd been so blessedly busy that she hadn't really had time to think about the vows she would take. But now, standing before a parish vicar, everything seemed a little blurry. How was it, she wondered, as she promised to honor a man she really didn't know, that she had come to this point? She' d been so pleased with herself up until this moment-and now she couldn't quite discern why she suddenly felt so unsettled.
She glanced at Phoebe on her left. The small bouquet of peonies Phoebe held shook so badly that it was a miracle any of the blooms remained intact. Ava wanted to tell her sister that it was all right, that she'd done it, she'd married for convenience and fortune, and they never would need worry again. Only the vicar's words-the bits about honoring her husband, loving and comforting him-made her realize that what she really wanted was to marry for love.
Suddenly, she didn't feel victorious or particularly clever. She felt a bit disingenuous.
Ava glanced at Middleton from the corner of her eye as he repeated the vows the vicar put to him. "Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife?"
Middleton hesitated a moment.
Wilt thou have this woman? Ava silently echoed.
His lids fluttered, but then he cleared his throat and said plainly, "I will." He glanced at her and gave her a slight wink.
What was he thinking? What thoughts crowded his head in this moment? she wondered as he slipped a plain gold ring on her finger. Did he, like her, find it strange to stand up and vow to commit to her for the rest of their natural lives, knowing so little about her? Or did he think that it was merely a matter of convenience and that his life would go on, unchanged, with possibly the exception of planting a child in her?
The vicar p.r.o.nounced them man and wife before Ava could ever really focus on what was happening. She dutifully turned her face up to her husband, who put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her possessively.
There it was again-that strange, niggling feeling inside her, that tiny but fervent desire that he love her. If he loved her even only a little, then this would seem right somehow.
In spite of the morning hour, the champagne flowed freely at the wedding breakfast that followed the ceremony. Outside, the servants and groundsmen shared in the champagne and food that had been prepared with the help of villagers from Broderick. Family, friends, and local dignitaries were seated inside the terrace sitting room, which had been set up with tables to host the wedding breakfast.
Middleton and Ava made their way through the small crowd of servants gathered outside, smiling and nodding to their l.u.s.ty calls of congratulations. As was customary, Middleton tossed coins to the children. One boy, Ava noticed, did not scramble for the coins with the other children, but looked at her curiously. She smiled at him. The boy returned a very bright and charming smile.
Inside, men happily clapped Middleton on the shoulder while the women professed happiness for Ava and eyed her beautiful dress. A trio of musicians, hired from the village, played lively music for them. The room was full of laughter and joyous celebration, save one person, who did not seem to enjoy the celebration in the least: the Duke of Redford.
Ava was standing near her new husband, who had been swallowed up by his friends, when Lady Purnam sailed to her side, took her by the hand, and dragged her aside. "What are you waiting for?" she hissed.
"I beg your pardon?"
Lady Purnam glanced at Lord Redford standing by the wall, an untouched gla.s.s of champagne on a table beside him. "He's your father-in-law now and it is frighteningly unrefined to leave him to stew in his own juices! Go to him at once and make sure he is put well at ease!"
Ava glanced doubtfully at her new father-in-law. Lady Purnam gave her a bit of a shove with her elbow.
With a heavy sigh, Ava walked forward. The duke did not acknowledge her as she approached, but
stared sourly at the guests. He was, Ava thought, being terribly rude on the occasion of his son'swedding.It wasn't until she was standing almost directly before him that he shifted his gaze to her. "Your grace,"
she said, dipping into a curtsy. "Are you unwell?""Unwell?" he repeated, surprised. "I am very well, thank you."His gaze flicked over her as if she were a villager standing in his way. He really did disdain her, didn't he? "I am pleased to hear it, although there must be something that concerns you, sir, for you seem quitecross.""I'm cross now, am I?"Ava forced a smile. "I don't blame you in the least. It's not an ideal situation, to be sure."
"That, madam, is an understatement," he said, and turned his gaze back to the guests."Nonetheless, it is my wedding day, your grace, and I would be very honored if you'd sit with me and tryto smile at least now and again."
Her cheekiness startled him; he jerked his gaze to her and frowned. "Lady Ava-""-Middleton.
""I beg your pardon?""I am Lady Middleton now."The duke blinked. And then, miraculously, he offered the barest hint of a smile. "Indeed you are.""It could be far worse, you know," Ava said with a conspiratorial glance about. "I could be a dreadfulbore. I would come to supper and bore you unto tears, and bear you dullard grandchildren."Now the duke was smiling. "I must trust your word that you are not a bore, mustn't I?""I a.s.sure you I am not in the least. What I lack in finesse I always make up in knowing a bit of newsabout our closest friends."
Amazingly, the duke actually laughed and offered her his arm. "You must tell me all, Lady Middleton."
She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm. "For example, did you know that Lady Purnam was once a favorite of our new king?" she whispered as the duke led her to a table. He squinted at Lady Purnam across the room. "I daresay I did not," he answered honestly, and turned back to Ava, anxious to hear the tale.
And Ava was so engrossed in the telling of it that she didn't realize her husband had joined them until the duke looked up and nodded curtly. "Your grace," Middleton said, and put his hand to Ava's shoulder and leaned over to ask softly, "Are you quite all right?"
She smiled up at him. "I was just telling his grace about Lady Purnam. She was once a favorite of the king's." He looked at her as if he thought she had lost her mind, but straightened and exchanged a look with his father."A toast!" someone called out. "A toast, a toast!""Join me," Middleton said, and slipped his hand beneath Ava's elbow and pulled her up.Lord Harrison was the first to step forward and gain the attention of the small crowd with his crystal flute of champagne raised high. "If I may, my lord," he said, bowing theatrically to Middleton's nod that he should continue. "I have been told that the secret to a long and happy matrimony is that you should never go to bed angry with one another-stay up and argue."
The guests burst into laughter, shouting "Hear, hear!""What do you know of marriage, Harrison?" Middleton scoffed."Absolutely nothing," Harrison said jovially. "The same as you, my lord." The crowd laughed again, and Harrison lifted his crystal flute in toast. "May your marriage be blessed." Middleton inclined his head and
lifted his flute."Fools, the both of you," Stanhope said, and stepped forward, next to Harrison, and put a collegial handon his shoulder. "Here, sir, is my best advice. Learn these four magic words and learn them well, andtrust me, sir, they will smooth the roughest of roads with your beautiful bride."
Middleton laughed. "And they are?"" 'You're quite right, darling,' " Stanhope said. Once again, the crowd laughed uproariously, Ava and Middleton among them. But then the duke rose from his seat, and a hush fell over them. Beside her, Avacould feel Middleton's entire body stiffen as the duke turned to them and lifted his gla.s.s."A toast, if I may?""Of course," Middleton said instantly.He looked at Ava. "To Lady Middleton," he said quietly. "May you find joy."No one said a word-they scarcely even breathed. But then Lady Purnam, G.o.d bless her, shouted, "
Hear, hear!" and the rest of the crowd followed suit, lifting their gla.s.ses and toasting Ava's joy.
Ava laughed, and glanced up at her husband. He was smiling, but it barely turned the corners of his
mouth, and it certainly did not reach his eyes.A few more toasts were made to their mutual happiness, and then Harrison stepped forward again,looked around the room, and said, "Now I think the time has come to leave the happy couple to oneanother's good company." And with that, he walked forward, threw his arms around Middleton andslapped his back heartily. He let go, grabbed Ava up and kissed her soundly on the cheek.
He looked at Middleton and winked. "Be a good husband, lad," he said sternly."I shall endeavor to do my best," Middleton said.The duke was next. He looked at his son and said, "Best wishes for you both."Middleton nodded. "Thank you, sir," Ava said quickly. Middleton extended his hand to his father. The duke looked at his hand a moment, and took it, but shook it and dropped it quickly before walking out of
the room, obviously eager to be on his way.
Lady Purnam wished Middleton well, but as she embraced Ava, she whispered ominously in her ear, "
Have a care in everything you do, girl, for all of England will be watching."
"Ah..." Ava stammered, uncertain what to say to that. "Thank you."
Lucy hugged her, too, but looked at her sternly and said, "Your stepfather will not be happy in the leastwhen he learns that you wouldn't wait for his arrival."Ava smiled and shrugged. There was certainly nothing she could do for it now, thank the saints.She said good-bye to Phoebe last. She took her sister's hands in hers and smiled.Phoebe frowned. "I'm alone now. First Mother, then Greer, and now you," she said petulantly.Ava squeezed her hand. "Aren't you the least bit happy for me?""Of course I am!" Phoebe exclaimed, and smiled through the tears that suddenly welled in her eyes. "But I am very sorry for me."
Ava laughed and hugged her, and whispered in her ear, "Keep sewing. I don't know how long it shall be
before I am given an allowance of any sort. And I won't be gone from you for very long, Phoebe, Ipromise you that.""That's precisely what Greer said," Phoebe muttered, and when Ava pulled away from her, she saw the tears glistening in her sister's eyes. "I shall miss you dreadfully.""Not nearly as much as I shall miss you," Ava promised, tears welling in her eyes, too."Oh there now, such maidenly tears!" Lady Purnam scoffed, and put her hand on Phoebe's forearm. "
Come along, Lady Phoebe, I should like to arrive in London before nightfall, when murderers and thieves
roam the streets."Phoebe looked so forlorn that Ava grabbed her and hugged her fiercely once more. "I shan't stay awaylong," she said again, and let her sister go.
She and Middleton followed the guests out, and watched them being loaded into their coaches and carriages. Ava waved to her sister, waiting until Lady Purnam's coach-the last to depart-had pulled out of the drive, leaving her and Middleton the last two standing.
Neither of them spoke until Lady Purnam's coach had disappeared around a bend. Only then did Ava glance up at Middleton.
He was still squinting down the drive. "It's just the two of us now," he said.
Yes, it was just the two of them. Completely and irrevocably. She was struck with the cold reality of what would come next, especially when she looked at Middleton, who smiled thinly.
"It has been quite a morning, madam. I should think you'd like to rest before this evening's supper."
"But...I am not tired," she said, her belly tightening with trepidation.
He did not smile, just looked at her stoically. "I think you should rest," he said again, only more firmly. "I will see you at supper." And with that, he turned away from her, told Dawson to have the mare saddled, and walked into the house, yanking at his neckcloth as he went, leaving her to stand on the drive, utterly alone.
Her face burned with embarra.s.sment, and she hesitantly started after him, making her way to her rooms, her head swimming around his abrupt dismissal of her, and the fear of what would come. She sat in her chaise, staring at the floor for what seemed hours, but when she finally stood to change from her wedding gown, she walked to the windows and looked out at the lovely landscape.
And there she saw him, riding away, reckless and full-bore.
A shiver shot through her-that man, who rode so fiercely, so utterly without discretion or even care for himself, would be in her bed tonight.
Sixteen.
M iss Hillier appeared in Ava's suite at seven o'clock to help her dress, but she was already dressed and waiting.
After Middleton's abrupt departure, she hadn't known what to do with herself, and to steady her nerves, she'd spent the afternoon going through her things, trying on different gowns Phoebe had made. She chose soft green brocade for supper, a gown Phoebe had embroidered with tiny little rosebuds that matched the silk rosebuds on the hem of the underskirt. The bodice fit low and tight across her bosom, which Ava had insisted to Phoebe was too revealing. Phoebe-whose mouth had been full of pins at the time-had rolled her eyes and continued on, undaunted.
Ava allowed Miss Hillier to help her put her hair up. When she'd finished, Miss Hillier stood back and smiled. "Ah, Lady Middleton, you're very beautiful," she said appreciatively as she looked at Ava. "It is plain to see why his lordship wanted you as his wife."
Ava could only hope that he wanted her-she wasn't certain given his demeanor on the drive, but shesmiled at Miss Hillier and donned the garnet earrings that had been her mother's.
She might have liked to stay holed up there until Middleton came to look for her, but Miss Hillier seemed rather determined that she should join her husband before dinner in the green salon.
A footman was waiting at the door of the salon and opened it as Ava approached, bowing his head in deference to her. With a smile, she stepped across the threshold of the salon, but was brought to a halt just there, for the room was majestic.
Huge six-foot paintings of Middleton's ancestors lined the walls beneath a fifteen-foot ceiling. Gilded chairs upholstered in red silk were pushed up against the walls-it looked as if there were enough of them to seat four dozen people. On opposing walls, four mahogany commodes held enormous Oriental porcelain vases and amazing floral arrangements. The rug at her feet was thick and intricately embroidered, depicting an English forest complete with animals, wood nymphs, and someone on a horse.
"I have been remiss in inquiring...but I trust you found your suite to your liking?"
His voice startled her-she hadn't seen Middleton standing to one side of the marble mantel at the opposite end of the room. "I...yes. Yes, the suite is beautiful. Thank you," she said, and realized she was trembling again. Her husband-husband!-was wearing black knee breeches that fit him like a glove, a white silk shirt and waistcoat, and black coattails. His neckcloth was simply tied, the small gold pin holding it in place. His dark hair was brushed back and long over his collar, and his face clean-shaven.
He seemed even more handsome now than he had this morning-and a bit dark.
He casually gestured to a grouping of furniture near the hearth. "I thought we might have a drink before we dine."
Ava couldn't possibly eat a thing, so she walked dutifully across the room. He met her at the grouping of furniture, took her hand, and paused to look at her gown. "How lovely you are," he said, and slowly lifted a smoldering gaze to hers as he brought her hand to his lips. "Very lovely indeed."
The way he looked at her, the quiet, a.s.sured way he spoke and held her hand made her feel slightly intoxicated, and she sat heavily on the settee to which he ushered her.
"What would you like?" he asked, motioning toward the sideboard. "A bit of wine, perhaps?"
Ava glanced at the decanters. "I think I would prefer something stout."
"Port, perhaps?"
"Whiskey?"
He smiled. "I don't believe whiskey is a suitable spirit for a woman's tender const.i.tution, but by all means, if that is what you would like..."
"Please." At the moment, it seemed the only thing strong enough to buoy her. Everything felt different- he felt different somehow. She worried that he regretted their marriage.
At the sideboard, Middleton poured a small tot of whiskey for her, then one for himself, and brought them back, along with the decanter, to the settee where she was sitting.
He put the decanter on the table and handed her a tot, his fingers grazing hers with a certain familiarity. He sat, draped one arm over the back of the settee, and looked at her, watching her as she smelled the whiskey. Once, when she and Phoebe and Greer were all of sixteen or so, they had stolen a bottle of Lord Downey's whiskey and drunk it. It had been years before she could stomach the smell of whiskey again, but today, she needed its calming effects.
"Are you unwell?" Middleton asked.
"Me?" she asked, startled by the question. "No...I am very well. I could not possibly be happier." The words, which she'd said a thousand times in the last few days, flowed off her tongue so voluntarily that they were essentially meaningless.
He, on the other hand, looked a bit tense. "Are you unwell?" she asked.
"Perfectly fine." With his finger, he stroked her arm, looked at her thoughtfully. "Here we are, then, LadyMiddleton. Bonded together in connubial bliss until death us do part.""My. When said that way, it sounds rather dire, doesn't it?" she remarked. "Do you regret it?""No," he said immediately. "Do you?"Ava shook her head. "No," she said quietly."I think we both understand one another and what we've gained by this marriage, do we not?"She nodded."But," he said, reaching for the ribbon of her sash, his fingers possessively brushing her breast as he did, "
I rather imagine that should not preclude us from enjoying it." He lifted a darkly glittering gaze to hers. " Particularly the private privileges that come with being husband and wife," he added quietly as he tugged lightly at the ribbon.
Ava tried to smile, but she could scarcely even swallow. "Yes," was all she could manage.He smiled then, his eyes creasing at the corners. "Drink," he said, nodding to her whiskey.She looked at the tot, lifted it to her lips, closed her eyes and drank, and waited for the inevitable burn.Beside her, Middleton chuckled.
"You might find it more to your liking if you sipped.""I shall never find whiskey to my liking, sir," she said hoa.r.s.ely, and opened her eyes.He leaned forward, poured a little more into her gla.s.s. "Try to sip," he advised, and held up his tot,clinking it against hers. "To many happy years.""To many happy years," she echoed, and sipped the whiskey. It burned her lips, her tongue, and herthroat. No, she decided, it was most decidedly better to swallow it whole than sip.Middleton must have agreed, for he tossed his back.Ava drank the contents of her tot. When she finished gasping for breath, and felt the calming effects of itbegin to seep warm and thick into her limbs, she smiled a little crookedly. "Very nice."He casually took the tot from her hands and put it aside. "I've not had time to personally show youabout. Shall I give you a tour of the abbey?"