Desire: A Novel Part 8

After a quick shower, I shot out the door, already ten minutes late for picking up the kids.

Chapter Thirteen.

"You're late." Neri shot me a look as she climbed into the front seat. Obviously I wasn't the only one in a mood. What was her problem? Hopefully it was different to mine.

"Sorry Neri, I got distracted. How was school?" Neri shrugged, and stared out the window. I felt as though all the progress we'd made over the past few weeks had gone out the window since we'd had our little talk yesterday. We were back to old Neri who barely managed more than two words.

I stopped outside the kinder and went inside for Sam. He cheered when he saw me, leaving the little boy he was playing with to clean up all the mess.

"Hey." I shook my head. "Back over there and tidy up." Sam groaned, but turned around and went back to his toys.

A woman, who I could only presume was his teacher, looked up and smiled. "Hi." She said. "I'm Miranda, Sam's teacher. You must be Kaitlin?" I shook her hand.

"Yes, that's me." I agreed. I motioned to Sam "How is he going?"

"He's going well, all things considered. For all he has gone through, he is a very well-adjusted young boy."

I smiled. That he was. I would never understand how both he and Neri turned out to be relatively normal, outgoing kids, with everything that had happened to me.

Seeing Neri alone in the living room, I took my chance for a second attempt at a little girl chat. Surely this had to go better than the last.

"Hey." Neri looked up from her magazine, gratefully taking the can of soda I held out for her.

"How did you know?" She smiled, popping open the ring and taking a big sip. I laughed and joined her on the sofa. She crouched her feet over, making room for me, then put her legs in my lap. It was all very sisterly.

"What are you reading?" She held up her magazine. Cosmopolitan. My bible when I had been her age. Though nowadays I knew I could get better information off the internet for free.

"Nice. How to o.r.g.a.s.m in under a minute." I read. Neri's face flushed. "No, it's a good skill to have." I quipped. Her face went even redder as she raised the magazine to cover her face. I reached out laughing, trying to tug it away.

"Kait!" She whined. "I can't talk to you about this!"

"Come on Neri, I'm your sister, not your mother. Treat me like a sister." I begged, rolling onto my back and gazing up at her. She swatted me away, grinning.

"Are you sure you're older than me?" She laughed. This was good. Ever since they'd arrived, both of them had tiptoed around me like I would explode at them any moment, where all I wanted was to get back some of what I'd missed out on. My little brother and sister. I wanted her to tell me about her crushes, her friends, I wanted her to be able to confide in me.

"So tell me more about Jeremy. As your sister." I added. Neri giggled and threw herself back on the couch. This was the first time I'd seen her act like a teenager.

"Gosh Kait, he is so amazing. He calls me every night, always texts the sweetest messages. And he is so, so hot." She sighed, her rosy lips curving into a smile.

"Hot, huh? Hotter than Devon?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

"That cop? Oh, eww Kait. He's so old!" She giggled as I reached over and tickled her. "You have the hots for *Mr Detective', don't you?!" She teased, trying to duck out of the way from my tickling attacks.

"Oh shut up. I just said he's cute. That doesn't mean I have the hots for him." I rolled my eyes. Secretly, I was loving this. I didn't care one bit if Neri teased me about Devon. Not if it meant I had a sister.

"Yes he's hotter than Devon." She said, making a face. I swatted at her. "But he's also so nice, Kait. I feel giddy when I'm around him. Like I can't think straight. And he's always doing things for me." She sighed dreamily. "He is so romantic. For our first anniversary? He learnt my favorite song on his guitar and serenaded me."

Wow. This guy did sound like a catch. How come I couldn't meet a man like that? I couldn't imagine Devon serenading me on a guitar. His fingers were too smooth. I blushed. Why did every thought have to go back to Devon?

"He sounds wonderful, Neri." I smiled.

"He is." Her voice dropped. She toyed with the corner of her magazine page, folding the corner and running it back over with her finger.

"You'll ruin it doing that." She shrugged.

"So? It's not important." Just like that, happy, excited Neri was gone. I knew she was missing Jeremy, but I suspected it was more than that.

"What's up?" I pushed her legs over so I could sit next to her.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I raised my eyebrows. She was so not fine "It's nothing." She repeated, this time managing a small smile.

"So humor me then." I c.o.c.ked my head, meeting her eyes.

Neri was silent. Finally, she rolled over to her schoolbag which sat next to the sofa on the floor. Shuffling around, she pulled out a letter and handed it to me. I looked at her, both confused and curious.

"I got accepted into a pre-medicine course offered by Yale. It pretty much guarantees a full scholarship there to study medicine." I stared at her in disbelief. That was the reason for her sullen mood? How would she react if she were excited about something?

"Neri! That's amazing news!" I reached over and hugged her limp body. "Why is this a bad thing? You look like your dog just died."

s.h.i.t. My hand flew to my mouth when I realized what I'd said. I could add that to my list of things you don't say to a teenager whose mother is missing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean-" Neri waved me off.

"It's fine." She smiled. "It's not that it's bad news. It's great news. I was so happy when I found out." Neri fiddled with her fingernails. "The fact that it costs ten grand is the bad thing."

"Oh." The penny dropped. There was no way in h.e.l.l we could afford that, and Neri knew that. "c.r.a.p Neri. I'm sorry. It's still such an accomplishment to be accepted." Not that that would make her feel any better. I reached over and hugged her.

"It will all work out, I promise." She hugged me back and smiled.

My phone buzzed. I picked it up and saw it was Devon. I rolled my eyes at Ara.

"What?" She asked, peering at the screen of my phone. He face lit up, then she frowned, almost immediately. "Are you going to call him back?"

"No."

"What if it's something to do with your mom?" I hesitated. That wasn't fair. I didn't want to speak to him, but I had no choice.

"I just want him to leave me the h.e.l.l alone." I grumbled, throwing my phone down the other end of the couch.

"Really?" Ara raised her eyebrows. She knew me too well. The last thing I wanted was for him to leave me the h.e.l.l alone.

"No." I ached for him. That was the truth. I couldn't handle just an occasional physical fling with him, and that was all he could offer me right now. It was better for me just to stay away. Only it wasn't that easy. The one time I ignored his call, I knew it would be about mom. Sighing, I scooped up my phone and dialed his number.

"Hey, Kait." He sounded happy to hear from me. I melted into the couch at the sound of his voice. What was this guy doing to me?

"h.e.l.lo. You called?" I said, getting straight to the point.

"Uh, yeah." He almost sounded disappointed. "I need you to come with me to your mom's house. There are some things I need to know about and you seem like the most logical to ask."

"Sure. Can I meet you there?" Driving myself was a much, much safer option.

"You can." He began, "Or I could pick you up? I want to go over some stuff with you too, which we can do on the way." I sighed. "Is everything okay, Kait?" I nearly laughed.

Okay? Things would be fine if he would leave me the h.e.l.l alone.

"That's fine, pick me up in fifteen." I said, purposely ignoring his question.

"Right, well I'll see you then."

"Sure." I slammed the phone shut. "f.u.c.k Ara. What am I going to do?" I lay back on the couch, my head in her lap. Her sympathetic eyes looked down at me.

"Tell him, Kait. Tell him how you feel." She stroked my hair, he fingers felt like magic against my tension filled scalp.

"I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel about him." I replied dryly. The worst thing was I knew he felt something too. It was there, in the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me. And the way he'd held me after we'd had s.e.x.

"Okay, so if he makes another move, blow him off."

I blushed. "I'm sure I will end up blowing him, but it won't be off." Ara grabbed a cushion and swatted at my head. I giggled, glad for the release of some tension.

"Kait!" She cried, laughing hysterically. "You're so dirty sometimes."

"Me?" I raised my eyebrows. "You think I don't hear you phone-s.e.xing Luke every night?" I giggled at the look of horror on Ara's face. She flushed, her hands flying up to cover her face.

"I'm so embarra.s.sed!" She gasped. I grabbed her hand, laughing.

"Seriously Ara, I have to turn up the TV just to drown you out. Imagine what the kids are thinking." I was messing with her, and from her expression, it was working. She looked horrified. Sitting up, I grabbed my shoes that I'd carelessly tossed next to the coffee table. A car horn sounded outside.

"Bye." I said, kissing Ara and grabbing my bag.

Chapter Fourteen.

"Thanks for coming."

I smiled brightly as I locked in my seatbelt.

"No problem-o." I replied brightly. Devon raised an eyebrow, amused by my enthusiasm. It didn't take a detective to work out it was fake. Get it? Detective?

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Right." He reached behind his seat and grabbed a folder. "Here. Go through this, see if you recognize any names or faces."

I bit my cheek as I caught a whiff of his aftershave. I couldn't help myself. I breathed in the enticing scent of musk, sweat and soap. I blushed, realizing he was staring at me, his head c.o.c.ked.

"You okay, there?" His voice had the slightest hint of suggestion, making me turn even redder.

"I was just thinking." I said defensively.

"Uh-huh." He smiled, his tongue wetting his lips. I sighed again, wanting that tongue on my lips so badly. I forced myself to focus on the contents of the folder.

There were lists of names, photos of men, and women. It took me a moment to realize they were off several dating sites. I looked at Devon questionably.

"We found some profiles of your mom on some of these dating sites. Some of these are old, as in she joined four years ago."

Really? I'd had no idea mom even knew how to work a computer, let alone be savvy enough to set up profiles of herself.

"There's more." Devon looked uncomfortable as he fought to find the right words. "Your mom also had, uh, several accounts with some web cam sites."

"Web cam?" I repeated. What the h.e.l.l were web cam sites? I looked at Devon for answers. He glanced back at me, looking extremely uncomfortable. "What the h.e.l.l are web cam...oh?"

It finally hit me. My mom was exposing herself on the internet. Stripping for money. I looked out the window, embarra.s.sed, for both my mom and myself.

What had Devon seen? The thought of him watching my mom made me feel sick.

"I didn't know how to tell you. It wasn't something I wanted to blurt out over the phone to you..." His voice trailed off. I wished he had, because at least then I'd have something to hide behind.

An awkward silence filled the car as we drove along the freeway. I paid extra attention on counting the number of trees that lined the outer lane, while Devon sat next to me, silent.

Every now and then, his hand would brush past my thigh as he went to change gears. The feel of his touch startled me every time, and every time it roused up my feelings of desire for him.

"So what exactly am I supposed to be looking for?" I finally asked.

"Some letters, receipts we found. Some dating back a few years. I don't expect you to be much help, but it's worth a shot." It wasn't meant as an insult, but hearing him say I wouldn't be much help cut through my heart.

As we drove along the street, my street, I took in the memories that brought me back to my childhood. It was a nice neighborhood, so much so that n.o.body could believe what had happened to me all those years ago, and now my mother's disappearance. I climbed out of the car. A pile of flowers stood near the front door, some in better health than others. I hadn't noticed them the other day.

Word of mom's disappearance had obviously spread around the town. People walked past, craning their heads to see what was going on. I followed Devon to the front door, about to step into my old house for the second time in a week.

Devon looked at me sympathetically as I stood by the door, arms crossed. "Are you okay? Do you need a minute?" I shook my head, took a breath and walked inside.

"I'm fine." I said. The last thing I wanted was his pity. I walked around the room, pretending to take notice of everything.

Pretending that I cared.

"Here." He handed me a box of old letters. "Let me know if anything grabs your attention." I sat down on the couch, the box in my lap. It was full of letters, receipts, notes, all in mom's handwriting. Most of it wasn't dated, and most of it meant nothing to me. I picked out a letter with familiar handwriting. Turning it over, I froze. It was from him.