Darkness Before Dawn Part 16

Cole lets go of Liam, pushing him back, making him tumble and splay onto the gra.s.s before he turns to glare at Camden. "DON'T f.u.c.kING TELL ME WHAT DOESN'T CONCERN ME! ANYTHING THAT CONCERNS BLAKE CONCERNS ME!"

I shuffle my feet over quickly to where Cole is standing and pull on his with both my hands, begging him to step away from them, but he shrugs me off. "Back off, Blake! I'm gonna MAKE THEM understand that you are my ONLY concern! Stand over there!"

I clutch his arm again and look at him with wide eyes, then at Camden and Liam, who's dusting the gra.s.s off his pants. Brian and Connor are watching Cole in approval. My breathing begins coming in short bursts and my vision tunnels. When my hands weaken, I drop them from his arms and concentrate on breathing.

"Cole!" I hear Connor shout at a distance and suddenly feel arms holding me up.

"Babe, are you okay?" Cole calls out as I blink heavily, trying to concentrate on his eyes, his beautiful green eyes. I take one last deep breath, feeling my senses returning to me all at once as I sag against him.

"I'm fine," I whisper. "Did you kill her?" I ask, looking directly at Liam, who's standing beside us.

"NO! I would never do that! Benny was trying to shoot me in the arm when I went for my gun, and she stepped in," Liam explains. "I loved your mother."

"There were three shots. Three," I repeat, loud enough to hear my words over the thumping heart in my ears.

Liam casts his eyes down before he looks back at me. "The first shot hit your mother. The rest of the shots were aimed at me."

"But none hit you," I say, searching his body, even though I wouldn't be able to see a wound through his clothing.

"One did," he says, lifting his shirt and showing me the hole on his arm. "I'm sorry, Blake. But I had to keep you safe. Benny's been looking for you ever since you disappeared. If you had been with me, he would've found you and who knows what his revenge would've been to get back at me! I really did lose track when you left Sh.e.l.ley's. Mark wouldn't tell me where you were sent. I did trust him to keep you someplace safe. With everything that had happened between me and Benny, and me and Alex...there just wasn't a safe way of me getting to you without them finding out."

"You went on and got remarried and moved on with your life, though. And they did find me, " I supply bitterly, remembering how I felt when Dean filled me in on that piece of information.

Liam exhales. "I'm sorry that they did. And I did get married, but that doesn't mean I forgot about you."

"Do you have more kids?" I ask quietly.

"No, I don't," he responds in a whisper.

"Can we go inside?" Connor leads us toward the terrace, where Cole and I take a seat on the outdoor love sofa, while the others sit around us.

"Don't bleed on the f.u.c.king carpet," Brian says to Liam when he comes back with a pack of ice for his hand.

"You didn't get me ice?" Liam asks Brian.

"I don't know if I'm gonna clock you again, boy! Start yappin' about important s.h.i.t and stop whining like a little b.i.t.c.h!" Brian responds before walking to the bar. "Drinks?" he asks, looking at Cole and me.

I nod feverishly, hoping for anything that can help calm my nerves. Brian comes over with two cups of gold liquid on the rocks. We thank him, as he hands it to us. I take a big gulp of it, feeling the burn in the back of my throat before I go into a coughing fit. Cole slaps my back and mumbles something about me always doing that, which is a total lie, but that's the least of my worries.

"Careful," Brian says with a smirk.

Liam sits down in front of us again after he serves himself a drink and I watch him anxiously, waiting for him to tell his story. When he looks at me and exhales, I shift to pay him closer attention.

"Benny had a plan and it backfired on him. He came into the house thinking he was gonna take me. Your mom got defensive and started screaming at him. She and Benny were close at one point, if you can believe that. Heartless b.a.s.t.a.r.d," he mutters under his breath before continuing, "I tried to keep her out of it, but your mom always did what she wanted when she wanted. s.h.i.t got out of control, shots were fired, Benny was drunk as f.u.c.k and one hit her." Liam's eyes grow sad as he recalls the night.

"Did you forget I met Benny?" I ask angrily. "He's a monster! He...he would've killed me without thinking twice. s.h.i.t, he TRIED to kill me!"

"If he wanted to kill you, he would've killed you, Blake," Liam says.

Cole gets up from his seat beside me and crouches down in front of Liam, looking directly at him. "You don't know what she's been through, so you don't get to talk to her like that. You don't get to sit here and defend the man that murdered her mother and almost killed her. You don't get to do anything. As the matter of fact, consider this a gift from me to you, because you don't get to speak to her ever again. She may have come from you, but she's nothing to you."

Liam's eyes widen as Cole's words seep in. "You can't keep me away from my own daughter!"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU f.u.c.kING LOOK FOR HER? WHY DIDN'T YOU LOOK FOR HER WHEN SHE WENT OFF TO COLLEGE, IF NOT AT MAGGIE'S? YOU'RE A f.u.c.kING DEAD p.r.i.c.k YOU'RE DEAD TO HER!" Cole screams, the veins in his neck more prominent the louder he gets.

I can only sit here staring blankly at the spectacle in front of me, refusing to side with my birth father in anything because at the end of the day, Cole is right. Liam didn't want me then, so it doesn't really matter now.

"And you," Cole says, turning around and pointing at Camden. "You're dead to me. My only family is Blake. PERIOD. Let's go."

I will myself to move, but can't. I'm still in shock, just staring.

"Baby, please get up," Cole whispers.

I blink at the men a couple of times before looking up at Cole, who is looking at them as well as he grinds his jaw. He tears his eyes off of them and looks down at me, noticing that I haven't moved. He tilts his head, his green eyes laced with pain, anger, and concern. "Do you need me to carry you, baby? Are you okay?"

"I think I'm okay," I whisper back, standing on shaky feet as I wave my goodbye to Liam.

"You're just gonna let him boss you around like that?" Liam asks, bewildered.

"He's right. Everything he said is right," I reply quietly with a shrug.

Liam raises an eyebrow. "I guess the similarities are only skin deep. Your mother would've never let me speak for her," he muses.

I grab Cole's forearm to keep him from moving forward and take a long, deep breath. "Thanks for that bit of information. Maybe if you had been there for me twelve years ago, I would've made a note of it. You weren't, though. I know nothing about you, nothing about my mother, and you know nothing about me, so you shouldn't make a.s.sumptions. If I had to make my a.s.sumptions about you, I would pretty much say what Cole already said about you. You're a coward for being too scared to go get his own daughter, a deadbeat for going on with your life with your new family not giving her a second thought, and a loser for even pretending that you missed me to begin with. So yeah, I can speak for myself, but I don't have anything nice to say to you. And since the people that DID raise me taught me how to be a lady, I was going to let you off the hook. Now that you got me started though, you wanna get to know me? f.u.c.k you, because the only man I need in my life is the one standing beside me, like he always has been."

I grab Cole's hand before Liam or anybody can say another word and pull him toward the door where we came from, glaring at Camden as I pa.s.s him. I stop in front of Brian and examine his face, his glossy eyes, and take a breath.

"Maybe we can get to know each other someday," I offer.

He smiles warmly. "You're always welcome here, baby girl," he says before pulling me into a hug. "Don't let him fool you, your pops did miss you. I'll get to the bottom of that, but I'm glad you put him in his place. Don't believe everything you hear, love. Not even from him. Not even from Sh.e.l.ley. I did try, I did look for her-I sent her flowers with those kids every time I knew they were going over there. She just refused them. Love always tries, and I never stopped."

Tears form in my eyes as I nod at him, thinking of Sh.e.l.ley's sadness over her lost love. I take a breath, blinking, and signal at Connor to get us out of there. When we walk through the corridor again, I pause to look at all of the photos, paying close attention to all of them in detail. I run a trembling hand over the one of my mother with Aunt Sh.e.l.ley, or Grandma Sh.e.l.ley. Cole hugs me from behind and coos sweetly in my ear about how beautiful they were, making me turn around and sob into his shirt as he embraces me.

"This is too much for one person," I m.u.f.fle against his chest.

"I know, baby. I know," he says quietly as he finger combs my hair.

"So, what do you wanna do for you birthday?" Becky asks in the middle of our conversation about baby bedding.

I purse my lips and switch the phone to my other ear so I can hold it with my shoulder. "I don't know. Nothing. Take a vacation. Tan. I really don't know," I reply with a shrug, making me drop the phone.

"...not know?" Becky asks when I put the phone back up to my ear.

"I don't know, Becks, really. It's not a huge deal, just another birthday, you know I've never really celebrated them anyway."

"Yeah, but you're over that. Maybe you can actually act like a grown up and have a party this year," she suggests perkily, making me laugh.

"Seriously?" I ask with an eye roll, even though she can't see me.

"Yes, seriously! You have never had a party!" she pouts.

I groan. "Becky! We had parties all the time!"

"No, we didn't! We cut a freaking cake between the six of us! That's not a party! I'm talking balloons, invitations, ACTUAL GUESTS!"

I laugh, despite myself. "I'll consider it. I'll look at invitations online or something."

"You can't plan your own party!" she squeals.

"Then why the h.e.l.l are you telling me any of this?" I ask, annoyed, as she laughs on the other end of the line.

We go back and forth about the party for about an hour, until I finally get her to hang up. She and Greg are staying here for the weekend, and my birthday just so happens to land on Sat.u.r.day, so that should be fun...or not. I finish doing the dishes before getting my laptop out to search for information on the Bar exam. I'm considering taking it in a couple of weeks since I was already signed up for it, even though I know I'll probably fail since I haven't studied. I just don't care anymore; my heart's not in it like it was before.

Cole has tried to be home a lot more lately and has done some of his interviews through Skype, which is pretty cool. He interviews somebody in our office room, while I watch on in our living room. As I'm dusting the desk where he sits, I spot a little post-it with my name on it. Picking it up curiously, I laugh as I read it.

B, thanks for picking up my desk! I love you, your future husband.

Ever since I left the hospital, he's been telling everybody that I'm his wife, and I keep correcting him. So he's decided to call himself my future husband instead. The look on people's faces when he says that term is pretty funny, but the look on his when they ask to look at my engagement ring is priceless. It always leaves him in a jam, which he gets out of fairly quickly. Usually by making up some crazy story about how we had to take it to the jeweler to resize or how I lost it while I was doing dishes.

The ringing of my phone in the other room snaps me out of my distraction and I jog to pick it up. I consider not answering when I see that Dean is calling, but figure I might as well.

"h.e.l.lo?"

"Hey, chick. Long time no hear," Dean says and I hear him inhale a drag of his cigarette.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Hmm. Don't wanna talk?" Dean asks, reading my thoughts.

"Not really," I reply bluntly.

He exhales. "Nothing's up. Just wanted to check up on you. Heard you saw your dad and s.h.i.t."

"Yep, that happened. Fun times," I deadpan.

He laughs. "You mad at me?"

"Nope, nothing to be mad about. I just...I don't really want to make Cole mad...again," I explain. "I know you don't get it and I know he doesn't understand our friendship, but you realize if I had to choose between you-"

"You'd pick him, I know," he offers. "Nothing wrong with that, chick. I'm just looking out for you."

I sigh. "I know."

"I heard your birthday's coming up," he says, changing the subject.

"You hear a lot of things," I reply.

"I do."

"All right, Dean, I gotta go, but maybe we can talk soon?" I ask hopefully. I just have to make sure I don't keep Cole in the dark about our conversations and I know he'll be fine with them. Baby steps, though.

"Hey," he whispers loudly before I can hang up. "I've been following Benny around, listening to his conversations, that sorta s.h.i.t. You need to be careful, pay attention to your surroundings, pay attention to the people around you. Have those cops come back to talk to you?"

"Yeah, but they left me alone when I told them I really didn't remember anything," I whisper back.

"That's not why," he whispers harshly. "I can't talk right now, but be careful with those cops! And pay attention to your surroundings! I'm following him everywhere, but still. s.h.i.t, I gotta go."

"WHAT? DEAN!" I shout at the dead line.

My mouth hangs open as I stare at the blank screen. Noise coming from the other side of the door makes my eyes snap up. I make out moving shadows in the s.p.a.ce under the door and gulp down my apprehension as I take a step closer to it. My heavy breathing accelerates when the doork.n.o.b turns a couple of times and a man mumbles a low curse. Finally reaching the peephole, I tiptoe up and lean against the door, squinting to make out the tall figure on the other side. He crouches down and sorts through a brief case before standing back up. I let out a shaky breath when our eyes meet and sag against the door before unlocking and opening it.

"What's wrong?" Cole asks with a confused look.

I shake my head. "What happened to your keys?"

"I don't know what the h.e.l.l I did with them! I just had them in my hands and now I can't find them anywhere!" he replies, fl.u.s.tered.

I lead him inside and take in his nice business attire, navy blue pants, a white long sleeve shirt, gold tie, and a navy blue jacket hanging over his forearm. My eyes wander over his face, his defined jaw, his plump lips, his ever so slightly crooked nose, his beautiful, yet tired, green eyes, his slicked back growing hair. I trail back down his face, licking my lips at the sight of his slightly parted lips.

"Are you going to let me f.u.c.k you or are you just going to do it all on your own, standing from there?" he asks, making me smile.

"Nah, you can do it," I reply with a laugh as I wrap my arms around him before kissing him deeply.

"I missed you," he whispers against my hair as he holds me tight.

"You saw me this morning," I say with a smile.

"So?"

I shake my head and let go of him, still smiling, and walk over to the kitchen to serve our food as Cole gives me the details on his day. As I listen to him talk excitedly about the convention he's been attending in a local hotel this week, I find myself replaying my own day. All of my days are the same-I wake up, eat, read, help Aimee study most days, and wait for Cole. That's it. My life has fallen into this unexciting routine that I never imagined for myself. Everybody keeps telling me to give it time, that I can still do what I wanted to do before all of this, but I don't know if I want to. I'm not sure if I can. But what do you do when everything you've always pictured yourself doing suddenly seems stupid?

"What's wrong, babe?" Cole asks, bringing me out of my daydream.

"Nothing, why?"

He puts his fork down and wipes his mouth before holding his hands out in front of him and signaling me to give him mine, which I do.

"What's going on?" he asks, concerned as he draws circles on the backs on my hands.

My shoulders slump and I let out a breath, looking down before replying. "I just don't know who I am anymore. I don't know who I want to be or what I want to do. The whole becoming a lawyer thing seems dumb to me now. I know I can't help the people I wanted to help originally, because the people that have been wronged will always be wronged, and the system won't change that."

My eyes flutter to his, fully expecting him to be giving me an incredulous look. He surprises me by smiling at me instead. "You have time. You have the rest of your life to figure out what you want to do. I'll help you, we all will. You can still take the Bar, though. You worked hard to get to law school and you worked hard to get through it, baby. You shouldn't give up just because some b.a.s.t.a.r.ds decided to f.u.c.k with your plans. What about social work? You can figure out how you can help kids that have been through similar things that we went through. There are a bunch of kids that get taken from their homes every day. Maybe not kidnapped, but taken away from terrible parents."

I smile as I listen to all of his suggestions, thankful that he's willing to help me find what's right for me. I don't know what I did to deserve this man in my life, but I'm glad I have him. We spend the rest of our night on the computer, researching social workers and attorneys that work with them until I decide that I am going to take the Bar exam, and I'm going to pa.s.s it.

The next morning as Cole and I shower together, he tells me about some sports gala we have to go to next week. He suggests I call Becky and talk to her about wardrobe since she's gone in the past and will be there as well. Once he leaves for the day, I start splitting up the box of memories that I have. I leave the things I actually want to remember and look at in one, and toss the things I don't care about in the other. I sort through the photos I got from Aunt Sh.e.l.ley and examine all of the faces carefully. I empty out one of the manila envelopes on the floor, seeing her family photos in a different light now that I know they're my family too. One by one I put them in the box of things I don't want, pausing when I hear three loud knocks on the door.

As I unfold myself from the floor, I idly wonder if it's Spencer telling me he's going to lunch. Instead I see a man wearing a fitted black T-shirt with brown scruffy hair. His hazel eyes look serious when they finally look from the floor to the peephole, and I wonder what the h.e.l.l he's doing here. Opening the door slowly, I stick my head out to look around and see Spencer at the end of the hall.