Dare ga Tame? Chapter 4

Chapter 4: That foolish man (Seira's attendant POV]

RAW:

Author: (Moon Echo)

T/N: This is partially edited. Appreciate if anyone willing to point out any mistake. So here goes…. This mini ma.s.s release is to celebrate the one year anniversary of Incarose Jealousy MTL….. #13

I will never forget that person who suddenly disappeared without saying anything.
Whether it was love or hatred, there was no way for me to make a judgement on it; however, one thing that I knew was, it was not a feeling constricted between those two to that either, and only that, I am sure off.

Whether it was love, yearning or respect.
Or whether anything and everything were related to hatred and disgust.
That person left without leaving anything behind, as she quickly disappeared from my eyesight.

At that time when I first met that person, she had given me a shelter. The first— and the last gift.
I was an orphan that have been abandoned and I was raised by the church as I far that I could remember. When I was around five or six years old, I was taken in by that house. Apart from me, there is another child who was also the son of this family’s stewards which had served this family for generation; and the two of us were expected to support the two daughters of this house. It was said that the family's head had decided to adopt an orphan since his wife had been worried with her inability to provide an heir for the family.
As I grew up, I noticed that I might be paired off with the daughter that I served as if I was some kind of a horse stud from somewhere. The Duke himself, shown little to no interest at all towards this younger daughter of his and declared that he willing to let anything happen between the both of us as long as there was no major blunder that will tarnish the family's name.
After I finished with my training as the attendant, I finally met that person.
–Seira-sama.
I thought that her dark eyes were like the darkness. Just by aligning our eyes, I could felt the illusion of being swallowed in. Unexpectedly, I could also sense the feeling of belonging as if we were [the same type of people]. A strange feeling started to synchronize between the two of us despite being in a different position and social standing. It was a mixed of conflicting emotion of warm yet sad, painful yet gentle.
I immediately understood the reason behind this.
This person was also someone who did not have a place where she belonged to. Whether in her own home or the outside. It seemed that she was also similar to me who had been adopted just to balance the number.
And from then on, I had considered that person's place as mine and mine as hers.
Until that time.

"Sayonara, Onee-sama."

That person who rarely adorned the bright red lipstick had pulled others' attention with her seductive-like laughter before disappeared from my sight. Without looking back.
—Is that despair? —Betrayal? —was the extent of my presence only amount to that much?
Didn't you gave me a place where I felt belong to?
This black and heavy feeling that I could never understood started to fill up my body.

——–

Because that person wished for it,
I did everything she asked me for.

I had noticed it previously when she started to change a little bit over the time. I was the person who had always remained by her side, and therefore it will be a lie if I said that I did not see the sign of it.
Unlike that person that serve her older sister, I am not someone that worshiped my own master fervently. However, I am still someone who had received enough training to become an attendant.-Of course this was only meant to provide a living for me. Still, I was doing my work with a sense of pride.
It was after that grand evening party when I received a strange order from that person. The evening party where Rachel-sama and His Highness Crown Prince met each other for the first time.

Until now, she had always stopped herself when she was in front of everyone's eyes, to maintain an uninterested atmosphere without acting on it, however, right now, that person movement was like a fish that already found the water. With the exception of me as a person, no one will ever suspect on her ingenious attack on Rachel-sama.
"You are my attendant, right? …. You should never disobey me, it is not like you have anywhere else to go."

With that pressure like threat, that person force me to make her move, therefore I used my own hand to accomplish those evil deeds…. However, when I thought about it now, I guess that was that person sign of kindness.
After that thing was exposed and she was condemned in the public, that person immediately left the country, of course I had also been single out by others. It was natural, I guess, since I was the one who had been executing those move against them.
But of course, Rachel-sama took a pity on me for being weak in going against my own master due to my position as a servant and an orphan. It was also came to my surprise that the Crown Prince who had always seemed to treat others like air appeared to protect me.
After all, even if there was no big accusation charged on me, I had already lost the backing from the Duke. However, since I was still young, it was decided that I will enter the knight's squatter with the pretext of retraining.
If this goes the way it was, I might be able to smoothly become a knight. There is no differences if one were to work in a stable or as an attendant in other’s house somewhere.

My future had certainly been carved out in a place where that person will never be.

But still, why, did I…

Thought of such situation with the feeling of hatred….

……I have yet to find the answer for that.