Danger, Sweetheart Part 26

"Oh yes. You'll have to come with me to see the boys for their birthday. I'll show you my sc.r.a.pbooks. Have you been to Madame Tussauds?"

"London? Sure."

"The one in Hong Kong?"

He pulled back and gave her a long, loving look. "Nope. That one got by me."

"You'll come with me," she decided. "You want to, don't you?" His smile was reply enough. His big, rough hands had gone around her waist, but she had seen him handle the White Rose of York and wasn't afraid of his touch. "We'll go to the one in Washington, D.C., and the one in Berlin, too." She paused, considering. "Don't you think Marilyn Monroe and Gwyneth Paltrow would make a lovely couple?"

"I think," he said, after kissing her again, "it's G.o.dd.a.m.n genius."

Forty.

"Your mom's apology was really good," Natalie said when she and Blake were alone again, "but you never answered Roger's question. What are you going to do now?"

Blake pulled back from where they'd been sitting shoulder to shoulder on his bed and gave her a look. "Don't you know?"

"I know what I hope you're going to do," she said after thinking about it for a few seconds. This was tricky ground; she wanted to make sure she said what she meant. "But it's like Shannah said. It's not for anybody to tell you what to do or where to go; it's for you to do that."

"Oh no, that's not at all true, Natalie, with respect to you and my mother. But here is what I want to do, and I hope it resembles what you hope I'm going to do." He reached across her, found his phone, and pulled up his Notes app.

"Oh G.o.d. You have a list."

He glanced up. "Of course I have a list, I keep several lists, I'm not a savage. Let's see: 'Rake Is Terrible,' 'Gary Must Die,' 'Mom Is Terrible,' 'Why the Nuclear Option Might Backfire,' 'The True Fate of the Lost Princes'-ah! 'The Rest of My Life.' Here it is."

a) propose to Natalie.

b) be engaged to Natalie for a period of no less than 30 days and no more than 730 days.

c) pay Residence Inn invoice.

d) remove all personal items from Residence Inn e) buy Heartbreak from seller f) put Heartbreak in Natalie's name g) move into Heartbreak with Natalie (see above, remove all personal items from Residence Inn).

h) ensure Putt N'Go deal is off the table forever i) buy back foreclosed farms from Putt N'Go j) figure out a way to have Natalie's children k) if unable, discuss the possibility of Natalie bearing her own children l) if unable or unwilling, discuss adoption m) if children follow, research what is needed for them to be considered full members of the Lakota tribe n) also take them to Ireland o) and Great Britain, specifically the Tower of London, Bosworth, Stoke, Leicester Cathedral, Coventry.

p) but never Disney World q) slowly acclimate Margaret of Anjou to the children of my and/or Natalie's loins r) never eat the White Rose of York s) live another five decades with Natalie.

t) die.

u) preferably within a half hour of Natalie v) find out if there is an afterlife w) if so, find Natalie x) be together forever.

Forty-one.

He misread her astonishment. "Oh, sorry, too fast? Too vague?" He frowned down at his phone. "I know there is room for improvement on my list, and perhaps some of the items need to be renumbered. And of course, I'm happy to add any codicils you might have."

"Good to know," she managed. "Thanks for clearing that up. I was a little worried. About the renumbering thing." He wants our babies to have full Lakota citizenship. Wants to find me in the afterlife. All this on a list like you'd use for groceries. G.o.d, he's so strange and he's mine.

"So then, it's settled. Excellent. Henceforth I will take the stance that anything I must decide about my life we must decide about our life. But Natalie, I don't want to overwhelm you-"

"Too late."

"I'll wait, of course." He didn't smile, just looked at her like there wasn't anything else in the world worth looking at. "I know this is abrupt. Six weeks ago we hadn't so much as a hint the other person existed, and now our lives will be entwined until death, and hopefully afterward-I am an optimistic agnostic. Some of my items might not be at all easy, like how to restore the farms to Sweetheart and, if we can get that done to the satisfaction of all, how to get people to work the land."

"Oh." She had never been so flummoxed, or happy. "You're right; that'll be tricky. We might not get everything on your list. Er, why the time limit?"

"Beg pardon?"

"On our engagement. No less than thirty days-"

"My understanding is that even a 'quickie wedding' takes time to plan. Also, a Las Vegas wedding is not on the agenda. Never while I live. In fact, regarding the venue, I'd like to present a list of places Rake loathes. Aside from the pure joy of making you my wife, knowing Rake had to travel to a place he hates will make our day that much more meaningful."

"There's something wrong with you. What's with no more than seven hundred thirty days?"

"Yes, two years."

"Why?"

"Because." He saved his list and put the phone back on the end table. "I don't want to wait more than two years to be your husband."

"Oh. All right then. Yes. Yes to all of it. Today and forty years from now and after we've died within half an hour of each other: I'm in."

"Thank heavens." He sighed, slumping back against the headboard. "I loathe suspense. Why do you think I study history? I always know how the book will end."

"Time for a new book."

He laughed. "We've been living the new book for thirty-nine days, Natalie! We only just realized it this week."

"This is a great time to shut up and kiss me."

To her delight, Blake obliged.

"This is a terrible idea." Natalie groaned, clinging to him. "We're gonna break our fool necks."

"Worth it," Blake managed.

The reading of Blake's list had led to kissing, which led to groping, which led to showering. The attic bathroom had everything they needed, including a double shower. Natalie made Blake drink a large gla.s.s of orange juice before she stripped him, then herself, and then nudged him into the shower. As the water hit them they groaned in unison, stretching beneath the warm spray.

At first it was (mostly) business, washing each other's hair, scrubbing each other's backs. Natalie had brought her OGX cherry blossom shampoo and scrubbed the thick lather through Blake's dark blond hair. He rested his hands on her waist and luxuriated under her touch.

"I have never been s.e.xually aroused by shampoo before."

"You've been missing out." She coaxed him into tipping his head back to rinse out the lather, then wriggled a bit as his hands slid over her a.s.s and he pulled her closer. She was pleasantly unsurprised by the size of his c.o.c.k, which was flushed deep pink, firm and fleshy and nudging up to hit his stomach. Well, he's a big guy, tall, big hands and big feet. Oofta. She still had shampoo on her hands and reached between his legs, gently running the soap over his b.a.l.l.s, fondling them in her soapy palm, then stroking his lovely long length while he shivered against her.

He must have thought her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and a.s.s were filthy, because suddenly cherry blossom shampoo was everywhere, so much that his grip kept slipping, which made them laugh as often as they moaned. Then his mouth was on hers and this kiss wasn't at all tentative like their others. He crowded her against the back wall of the shower, hands sliding around her slippery, soapy body as he licked into her mouth and all she could see and smell and feel and taste was Blake, Blake, Blake.

"We've got to get out of here," she gasped. "We've got to rinse off and get out and finish before I explode."

"That's my line, darling," he whispered into her mouth. "But you're quite right. The water will wash away much of your natural lubricant, which is why s.e.x in hot tubs is a terrible idea. Those poor souls are just asking for a case of bacterial vaginosis."

She groaned, equal parts revolted and amused. "G.o.d, so romantic ... love when you talk to me about infections. Now talk to me about antibiotics and flu shots."

"Hush." He shut off the water, pulled the curtain aside, braced his weight, then reached around and picked her up, holding her against him by the backs of her thighs. Her feet dangled far from the floor and she held very still. This might be a terrible idea. But it also might lead to more of the s.e.x. More of the s.e.x is good. She let out a nervous squeak as he carefully stepped out of the shower, then stood on the rug for a moment, both of them still dripping, then carried her to the bed.

"Ahh, careful, hardwood floors! Don't slip, don't slip!"

"I understand. But don't worry; if I go down, you'll likely squirt out from under me like a giant tiddlywink."

"Oh, definitely not worried now. What a relief." What the h.e.l.l is a tiddlywink? Maybe it's some kind of Vegas-themed s.e.x toy. Then, as he eased her down on the bed: "Blake, no, we'll get your bed all wet, towels, towels!"

"f.u.c.k towels," he growled, and in less than half a second she lost all concern for the state of his quilt and blankets as his chest settled against hers, his solid warm weight pressing her into the mattress. When other men had done this she had felt almost claustrophobic. With Blake, she couldn't get close enough.

She put a hand on the back of his neck and brought his mouth down to hers, kissing him with all the frustration and hurt and anger and remorse she had felt over the past month, putting every bit of I love you I'm so sorry I forgive you and you forgive me into it, and it must have worked, because he only broke the kiss to whisper to her in his deep, dark voice, words she felt as much as heard.

"Beautiful, you're so beautiful, Natalie, lovely Natalie I love you I love you...."

She took his hand, kissed his fingers, then drew them between her legs, let him feel how slick and wet she was (despite the shower), and he groaned as she spread her thighs and wriggled helpfully against him.

"Can I? Please please, I have to be inside you, Natalie, please...."

"Yes," she managed, and he leaned over and groped in the end table drawer-she had brought condoms when she'd gone to fetch her shampoo-and his hands were shaking so badly she took the small foil-wrapped packet from him. Not that her hands were steady as stone, but he'd only just gotten his bandages off that morning.

"Okay. I've got it-there."

"Thank Christ," he groaned, "all praise to your miraculous hands." She fumbled a bit and he had to help and, in the end, between the two of them ("Good G.o.d, we're both consenting experienced adults and this is taking too long," which got her laughing so hard she almost fell off the bed.) they rolled the condom on.

"Now?" he murmured. "Yes? Okay?"

"Yes! Jesus, yes, get in me already."

"The most beautiful words in the history of language," he moaned, then shifted against her, and suddenly he was filling her slowly and sweetly. "Oh thank G.o.d for that prophylactic or this would have just ended."

She giggled, then gasped as he moved, wrapped her legs around him, and pulled him as close as was possible. She could feel the big muscles in his back shifting as they moved together, and was astonished to find she was close, so close, though they'd barely begun. Usually it took several minutes and specific stimulation for her to reach o.r.g.a.s.m. Then she remembered what he'd said about how they were living a new book, realized she'd wanted him, wanted this, for a month, thought of this and hoped for it, touched herself in her lonely bed and thought about him, and despaired of ever having it, and then she was crying out and clutching him to her and then his eyes rolled back and he leaned forward and groaned into her neck.

They shivered against each other, then lay still and silent, getting their breath back. She inhaled greedily, loving their intermingled scent.

"Natalie Lane of Heartbreak, in Sweetheart. Of Sweetheart."

She hummed and stroked his hair. They were still wet, and now sticky. She didn't give a ripe s.h.i.t. "Yours, now," she replied.

He pulled back and smiled down at her. "Yes," was the simple reply, and she thought there had never been a word so wonderful.

Epilogue.

"Blake? C'mon, man, stop sending me to voice mail. Listen, I need your help, no s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around this time. I decided your insane idea was insane and called the nuclear option because I refuse to live in fear. And get this! Nonna is in on whatever this is! She knows why I'm in Venice, and Mom knows, and they're being no help, and if I eat any more gelato I'm gonna puke everywhere, so you really gotta call me back and help me figure out what to do. Blake? C'mon! Blake! Look, I know you're getting these because you texted me back that you and this Natalie Lame are getting married and I don't know why you thought that would work. Dude, if you don't want to talk to me, just say that, okay? Just be all boring and Blake-ey and be all, "You are in a mess of your own making" and something about the Duke of Lancaster and "you are terrible" and yak-yak-yak. Don't text lies, man, like you'd ever get married, and even if you did get married you'd never do it in a city that nearly ran me out of town with tar and feathers. Not cool. Blake? Blake? Blaaaaake!"

Romance Trope List.

1. Flashbacks.

2. Flashforwards.

3. Hardscrabble childhood 4. Emotionally distant hero who just needs the right woman to unlock his heart (Blake).

5. The rake (Rake) 6. Tough but tender waitresses, most smarter than their customers.

7. Small-town girl fleeing to Big City to make something of herself 8. Identical twins who are opposites 9. Identical twins who pretend they hate each other but love each other 10. Clueless city boy forced to work on farm 11. Farmers forced to work with clueless city boy.

12. Grumpy horse who can only be tamed by (reluctant) hero 13. Hero keeping big secret 14. Heroine pretending to be someone else/keeping big secret 15. Heroine's deception makes no sense and seems silly from the beginning 16. l.u.s.t at first sight 17. Meet cute 18. Big Mis.

19. Lovable farm animal brought into homes with no unpleasantness on either side of the equation 20. Kindly, paternal older man the hero takes to right away 21. Hero bonds with and loves an animal solely meant for consumption 22. Balding men are evil 23. Only after hero nearly dies does heroine realize it's love 24. Stern grandma hiding love for her family under all the stern 25. Over-the-top villain 26. Big cities are bad; small towns are wonderful.

27. Hero rich but poor for convenience of plot 28. Inverted "heroine thinks hero is poor, but he's rich" trope: heroine thinks he's rich, finds out he's (kind of) poor (see #29, poor for convenience of plot) 29. Overly serious and educated older brother 30. Wisecracking "street-smart, not book-smart" younger brother.

31. Heroine frequently, and inappropriately, giggles.

32. So many misunderstandings can be resolved if characters take three minutes to just have a conversation.

33. Amnesiac sheriff 34. Hot librarians 35. Bad guys swear a lot.

36. Sinister foreshadowing that turns out to not be sinister at all 37. Bodice ripping 38. Hero overestimates alcohol tolerance and has drunken rant/meltdown before horrified audience 39. The seemingly insurmountable problems of the plot are solved with relative ease at the end 40. "You just stood up to me, that was the test"

41. Big romantic epiphany.

42. Geezers in love 43. No idea what they're feeling is love until it's identified at the eleventh hour 44. Family members presumed dead are alive.