Dancers - A Messiah At The End Of Time Part 3

'Poor thing," said Abu Thaleb. "I think she would have been better off in a menagerie, Doctor Volospion. Some of them feel much safer there, you know. Our world is too difficult for them to grasp. Now, if I were you..."

Doctor Volospion tightened his grip. "Oh!"

'You are too sensitive, Miss Ming," said Li Pao. "You must not take us seriously."

Doctor Volospion laughed. "Is that so, Li Pao?"

'I meant..."

'Ah, look!" Doctor Volospion slowly raised a hand to point. "Here's your friend, Miss Ming."

'Friend?" Red eyes were raised. Another sniff.

'Your friend, the cook."

It was Argonheart Po, in smock and cap of dark brown and scarlet, so corpulent as to make Miss Ming look slim. He advanced toward them with monumental dignity, pushing small elephants from his path. With a brief bow he acknowledged the company and then addressed Abu Thaleb.

'I have come to apologize, epicurian commissar, for the lateness of my contribution."

'No, no..." Abu Thaleb seemed weary of what appeared to be a welter of regrets.

'There is an integral fault in my recipe," explained the Master Chef, "which I am loathe to disguise by any artifice..."

The Commissar of Bengal waved a white-gloved hand. "You are too modest, Kaiser of Kitchens. You are too much a perfectionist. I am certain that none of us would detect any discrepency..."

Argonheart Po acknowledged the compliment with a smile. "Possibly. But I would know." He confided to the others: "The cry of the artist, I fear, down the ages. I hope, Abu Thaleb, that things will right themselves before long. If not, I shall bring you those confections which have been successful, but I will abandon the rest."

'Drastic..." Abu Thaleb lowered his eyes and shook his head. "Can we not help in some way?"

'The very reason I came. I hoped to gain an opinion. If there is someone who could find it within himself to leave the party for a short while, to return with me and sample my creations, not so much for their flavor as for their consistency. It would not require much time, nor would it require a particularly sophisticated palate, but..."

'Miss Ming!" said Doctor Volospion.

'Me," she said.

'Here is your chance to be of service."

'Well," she began, "as everyone knows, I'm no gourmet. Not that I don't enjoy my chow, and of course Argonheart's is always excellent, but I'd like to help out, if I can." She was twice the woman.

'It is not a gourmet's opinion I seek," Argonheart Po told her. "You will do excellently, Miss Ming, if you can spare a little time."

'You would be delighted, wouldn't you, Miss Ming?" said Abu Thaleb sympathetically.

'Delighted," she confirmed. She cast a wary glance at Doctor Volospion. "You wouldn't mind?"

'Certainly not!" He was almost effusive.

'A splendid idea," said Li Pao, blatantly relieved.

'Well, then, I shall be your taster, Argonheart." She linked her arm in the cook's. "And I really am sorry for that silly fuss, everybody."

The shook their heads. They waved their fingers.

She smiled. "It did clear the air, anyway, didn't it? You're all friends again now."

'Absolutely," said Li Pao.

'Well, thats fine."

'And you won't be wanting the little elephant?" Abu Thaleb asked. "I can always create another."

'I'd love one, Abu. Another time, perhaps when I have a menagerie of my own. And power rings of my own and everything. I've nowhere to keep it while I stay with Doctor Volospion."

'Ah, well." Abu Thaleb also seemed relieved.

'I think," said Argonheart Po, "that we should go as quickly as possible."

'Of course," she said, "you really must take me in hand, Argonheart, and tell me exactly what you expect me to do."

'An opinion, I a.s.sure you, is all I seek."

They made their adieux.

'Well," she confided to Argonheart as they left, "I must say you turned up at just the right moment. Honestly, I've never seen such a display of temper! You're so calm, Argonheart. So unshakably dignified, you know? I did my best, of course, to calm everyone down, but they were just determed to have a row! Of course, I do blame Li Pao. Doctor Volospion had a perfectly understandable point of view, but would Li Pao listen to him? Not a bit of it. I suspect that Li Pao never listens to anyone but himself. He can be so thoughtless sometimes, don't you find that?"

The Master Chef smacked his lips.

Chapter Four.

In which Mavis Ming is once again disappointed in her Ambitions

Argonheart Po dipped his fingers into his rainbow plesiosaurus (sixty distinct flavors of gelatin) and withdrew it as the beast turned its long neck round to investigate, mildly, the source of the irritation.

The great cook put hand to mouth, sucked, and sighed.

'What a shame. Such an excellent taste. '

His creature, lumbering on ma.s.sive legs that were still somewhat wobbly, having failed to set at the same time as the rest of its bulk, moved to rejoin the herd grazing some distance away on the especially prepared trees of pastry and angelica that Argonheart Po had designed to occupy them until it was time to drive them to the party which was only a mile or two off (the gargantua were plainly visible on the horizon).

'You agree, then, Miss Ming? The legs lack coherence. ' He licked a disappointed mouth.

'Isn't there something you could add? ' she suggested. ' those flippers were really meant for the sea, you know...'

'Mm? '

'It's not your fault, not strictly speaking. The design of the creature itself is wrong. You must be able to do something, Argonheart, dear. '

'Oh, indeed. A twist of a power ring and all would be well, but I should continue to be haunted by the mystery. Was the temperature too high, for instance? You see, I allow for all the possibilities. My researches show that the animal could move on land. I wonder if the weight of the beast alters the atomic structure of the gelatin. If so, I should have prepared for it in my original recipe. There is no time to begin again. '

'But Argonheart...'

He shook his huge head. 'I must call the herd of the failures and present, I am afraid, only a partial spectacle. '

'Abu Thaleb will still be pleased, I'm sure. '

'I hope so. ' He voiced a stupendous and sultry sigh.

'It is nice to be out of the hurly-burly for a bit, ' she told him, her mind moving on to other topics.

'If you would care to rejoin the party now? '

'No. I want to be here with you. That is, if you have no objection to little Mavis watching a real artist at work. '

'Of course. '

She smiled at him. 'It's such a relief, yoa see, to be out here alone with a real man. With someone who does something. '

She simpered. 'What I mean is, Argonheart, is that I've always wanted...'

She gasped as he jumped, his hands flailing, to taste a pa.s.sing pterodactyl. He missed it by several inches, staggered and fell to one knee.

'Cunning beasts, those. ' He picked himself up. 'My fault. I should have made them easier to catch. Too much sherry and not enough blancmange. '

She sidled up to him again. 'My husband, Donny Stevens, was a real man, for all his faults. '

Argonheart returned suddenly to his knees. He cupped his hands around something which wobbled, glinting green and yellow in the pale sunshine. 'Oh, this makes up for everything. See what it is, Miss Ming? '

'A dollop of jello? '

'Dollop? Dollop! ' He breathed upon it. He fondled the rounded, quivering surface. He spoke reverently. 'This is an egg, Miss Ming. One of my creations has actually laid an egg. Good heavens! I could breed them. What an achievement. ' His expression became seraphic.

'A man like you is capable of anything, Argonheart. I often felt Donny was like that. I never thought I'd miss the b.a.s.t.a.r.d. '

He was searching the ground for more eggs.

'You remind me of him a little, ' she said softly. 'You are real, Argonheart. '

Argonheart Po's only weakness was for metaphysical speculation. Miss Ming had captured his attention. Stroking his egg, he looked round. 'Mm? '

Her breast rose and fell rapidly. 'A real man. '

He was curious. 'You believe everyone else imaginary, then? But why should I be real when the others are not? Why should you be real? Reality, after all, can be the syllabub that melts upon the tongue, leaving not even a flavor of memory...'

Her breathing became calmer. She turned to con template the half-melted remains of a completely unsuccessful stegosaurus.

'I meant, ' she said, 'that Donny was a manly man. Stupid and vain, of course. But that's probably all part of it. And obsessed with his work-well, when he wasn't s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g his a.s.sistants. ' She kid her hand upon his trembling egg. 'I like you, Argonheart. Have you ever thought...?'

But the chef's attention was wavering again as he bent to scoop up a little iguanadon. He placed his egg carefully upon a slab of marzipan rock and held the iguanodon out to her for her inspection.

With a frustrated sigh she licked the beast's slippery neck. 'Too much lime for my taste. '

She gave a theatrical shudder and laughed. 'Far too bitter for me, Argonheart, dear. '

'But the texture? It was the texture, alone, I needed to know about. '

The iguanodon struggled, squawking rather like a chicken, and was released. It ran, glistening, semi-transparent, green and orange, in a crazy path toward the nearby cola lake.

'Perfect, ' she said. 'Firm and juicy. '

He nodded sadly. 'The small ones are by far the most successful. But that will scarcely satisfy Abu Thaleb. I meant the monsters for him. The little beasts were only to set off the large ones to set the scale, do you see. I was too ambitious, Miss Ming. I tried to produce too much and too many. ' His fat brow wrinkled.

'You haven't been listening, Argonheart, dear, ' she chided. 'Argonheart? '

Reluctantly he withdrew from his regrets. 'We were discussing the nature of reality. '

'No. '

'You were discussing what? Men? '

She patted at the yellow flounces of her frock. 'Or their absence? ' She chuckled. 'I could do with one...'

He had picked up a ladle in his plump, gloved hand. She followed him as he approached his lake, bent on a final taste.

'A man? What could you do with one? ' He sipped.

'I need one. '

'A special kind? '

'A real one. '

'Couldn't you make something someone, I mean to suit you? Doctor Volospion would help. ' He looked across the tranquil surface, like molten amber. 'Delicious! '

She seemed pained. 'There's no need, dear, to throw that particular episode in my face. '

'Urn. Yet, I'm indulging myself, I fear. ' He stooped, dipped his ladle, drew it to his red lips, sampled self-critically and nodded his head. 'Yes. The conception was too grandiose. Given another day I could put everything to rights, but poor Abu Thaleb expects... Ah, well! '

'Forget all about that for a moment. ' l.u.s.t was mounting in her. She slipped a hand along his ma.s.sive thigh. 'Make love to me, Argonheart. I've been so unhappy. '

He rubbed his several chins. 'Oh, I see. '